Unrealistic Expectations.

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I want to believe that we all have expectations where some things are concerned. It all starts with the little things because there are some things we would never compromise on and that's fine. There are some houses you wouldn't want to live in, some cars you wouldn't even think of driving and some people you decide not to associate with. We all have a mental image of how we want things to be and there is no crime in that.

Imagine desiring or having expectations of living in a mansion but your pocket says otherwise, does that mean you would have to go and steal to make that happen? No. There are some expectations we need to check because they don't conform with our realities. A lot of people would still hold on to these unrealistic expectations till all hope is gone without doing anything or seeking to be better for themselves.

I am always appalled by the way some people think and the expectations they have. I am not saying it's bad to have expectations of how you want your life to be but at least make it realistic and achievable while also focusing on the things you can also do to make those expectations happen and better.

I was scrolling through Twitter many years ago and I believe it raised a lot of controversies then when a lady said she would never marry any man or even date any man who isn't earning 400,000 Naira (roughly $720) and above, monthly. A lot of people criticized her and asked if her brother can be placed on such expectations.

It's okay for her to want her future secured financially and that's not a crime but it would beg the question of if she is looking for love or any man with money. A lot of people asked her how much her father was earning when he married her mother 😂😂🤣😂😂. So many people questioned her motive because it looked as though all she wanted was a life of affluence where the guy would be the one labouring and she would just relax and spend the money.

If you live in Lagos, Nigeria, you would understand how houses can be expensive and in her defence, maybe she needed the guy to brace up for what it is to come because in all honesty, getting married and getting an apartment to live in would cost you so much more since responsibilities won't ease up but there is wisdom in dealing with it right by not doing more than yourself.

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It's obvious that her taste would be high which was why she wanted the best of things but this is life, because you wanted the best of things doesn't mean you would always get it. You have a part to also play in it if you want to see the future that you desire. She wanted someone that is already "made" as it seemed because she didn't sound like someone that can build with another man. Maybe she has her story, maybe she didn't and she just jumped on what they have fed her head with, oh well... All the best to her because I want to know who she is married to right now.

It is not about having someone earn that much monthly but about the attitude of the guy in question. Is the guy ready to work? Is the guy someone with dreams? Has she been convinced by the guy's dream to picture herself in it? A lot of questions would be asked of her as well - What would she be doing while she waits? What happens when the dream didn't come through? What happens when the guy experienced some challenges on the way before attaining those dreams? This is more about the two of them and if they can't answer the questions then even the guy doesn't deserve to get married.

There are a lot of people who earn millions of Naira or even thousands of dollars per month and yet they have nothing to show for it while we have those who earn relatively lower than that and they are able to do greater things because it's a function of who that person is. You don't have to do more than yourself....you owe it to no man to impress anyone but most people live beyond their means and they couldn't keep up. It's never about the earnings but about the person and this is something she doesn't understand. She can't even spot a king in rags because she was busy focusing on the wrong thing.

Some people aren't even earning as much as that when they met their partners but after understanding the responsibilities ahead of them with their sheer desire for success, they rose and started earning a lot of money. What most ladies don't know is that when a guy notices that all you care about is the money then he would start treating you anyhow. He would beat you, treat you with disdain and then throw money in your face again as an apology since that's what you are all about.

The funny thing is, this lady with this unrealistic expectation wasn't doing anything as at the time she made that tweet; she wasn't working and I bet she had even 56,000 Naira ($100) in her account yet she was dreaming of landing a guy with a huge salary. In case life happens and she lands the guy, she won't even be able to keep the guy because no one wants to also end up with a liability...marriage is stretching enough...no one wants another unnecessary weight since she wasn't even talking about love either.

She is putting pressure on others when she should be putting pressure on herself to make something meaningful out of her life too. She was focusing on others yet she isn't focusing on her own life which should be important. Her expectations are unrealistic because she wasn't even doing anything about her own life too.

Thank you for your time.

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