Private Affairs.

Topic:

Private or public recognition: On the occasions you help others, or do positive things for them, do you like or expect public recognition or do you prefer private thanks or gratitude. Explain why in either case and give an example.

This is the question asked by Galenkp on Hive and I did justice to it. As usual, I decided to share my response as I shared on Hive with you all. You can also participate in the question, either on Hive or here on Read Cash.

I am a private person and I don't like anything that draws too much attention, especially when it comes to what I did to help others. It's okay if they want to tell others what I did for them but I would never rattle it out to the next person seated next to me. My Wifey hardly know the things I do for others. If we have a mutual friend and that person mentions it, all well and good but she won't even hear it from me and she knows about this, except we decided to collectively help someone. I don't blow my horn or make a public display of whatever I do for others. It has never been my thing and that would happen for a long time to come.

I grew up with that mentality - "Whatever your right hand is doing, never let the left hand know about it". It's a popular saying here in Nigeria that signifies people growing silently or making a difference silently without the need to make everyone aware of it. I don't seek my rewards from other fellow humans, I believe God and life have their ways of rewarding me if it's deemed worthy of reward.

I don't like hearing "Thank you" too. I can thank you from now till tomorrow for whatever gesture you do for me but I am not the type that loves receiving thank you. I allow people to say it once, out of courtesy but the moment it's getting frequent I tend to run away. It keeps me humble so I don't want anything that makes me think I am more than I am because I was able to help someone because I believe that if I don't, someone else would help them so it's a privilege if it's me.

I prefer a private thanks and gratitude only because I know the other person would want to be grateful but please, just do it privately and once. The world doesn't have to know.

There was a time I entered a cab with this woman who mistakenly slammed the door on her own finger as she was coming in. She sat at the door and there was someone in between us. I told her sorry for her pain because I know how that thing hurts. I noticed I was close to where I would drop and I already heard where she said she would drop. I gave the driver the money for both of us and told the driver who it was for. The moment I did that, I looked away.

I felt her stare at me from the corner of my eyes and I knew she was trying to get my attention but I acted like I didn't know. The woman in the middle was the one who tapped me and I looked in her direction. She thanked me and asked if I know her or her husband but I told her no. She was shocked and said thank you.

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I prefer random acts of kindness sometimes because there is a higher chance that I would never see these people again so there is no way they can make a public show of gratitude to me. There was another instance with a young lady on a bike. In my country, way before now, two people sit on the bike. I sat behind the rider while this lady sat behind me. She dropped before me at a junction called UCH and immediately, I told the bike man to move as she was reaching for her purse. As the bike moved, I told her "Don't worry" and with her purse in her hands, she stood motionless on that same spot trying to understand why I did what I did without even asking for her details or anything. That particular one struck me the most people it looked like she has never been used to being gifted something without being asked for something else in return (just my interpretation because when the bike moved a bit more, I looked back and still saw her on the spot.

Paying for one lady inside the cab made her follow me to my Church because she said she just got to my city and had been thinking of where to fellowship. She asked where I was going that day and I said Church. She didn't bother going home again, we both dropped at the junction and headed for Church. Another one that was a bit awkward for me was this lady. I don't know her then but she wanted to pay before her junction or mine. I had to quickly act and I paid. That was how she started the friendly conversation by asking about my name, and what I do and started introducing herself while she gave me her phone to punch in my numbers. It was awkward because that would be my first time engaging anyone in a cab or anyone I decided to help randomly. I am used to running away. Well, she's still my friend to date.

Thank you for your time.

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