Pressure.

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Pressure in life is real but I dislike those who put pressure on others just to feel good about themselves. We have those who exert pressure on others either because they are bored or they want to feel good about themselves or deceive others into thinking they care. What a weird way of showing you care with your insensitiveness.

I feel blessed not having anyone exert unnecessary pressure on me to get married. I would never bulge even if my parents were alive to give that kind of pressure because as much as I love both of them, there are some pressure I won't yield to especially where my heart and my life is concerned.

I was angry when I read @Princessbusayo 's post where she talked about this particular aunty that called herself and her sister up asking them to hurry up so they can get married. Maybe you would feel the anger I felt when you read the post yourself and you can catch up with it here: She Is Bothered.

This particular aunty in question has never checked up on them or helped them in any way with anything ever since their mum died and yet she felt the need to offer unsolicited advice. The issue is, most people whose opinions are not needed always have this need to control how other people's lives would feel like it. I have a scathing attack in my comment on her post and that is because I don't fancy people like that.

Do you see me poking you at funerals when an elderly person dies to remind you that you are next or you should be next? So why would she feel the need to feed the head of those who are still trying to find their feet with unnecessary pressure on getting married? The annoying part is, she has children in the university as well, I wonder why she didn't arrange a marriage for them or maybe the moment they graduate she would force them to go and get married and those children would be dumb enough to agree to it. I told Princess not to bother herself about this aunty and her sister shouldn't bother herself as well because it's obvious she is bored. I hope Princess can share the link to this article with her sister to calm her down because I learnt she is bothered especially with their elder sister threatening to call this so-called aunty to order.

Never let anyone tell you which direction your life should head. You are in charge of your life and no one else. Take your steps, make your decisions and be ready to stick with it without apology to anyone. We are mostly concerned about what others would say because we fear the unknown but we shouldn't. It's okay to make mistakes but learn from them and let them be on your terms. That is how we learn in life when we make our mistakes and take responsibility for it but when you allow them to make decisions for us, we would rather blame them and we might not learn what we should from it. Most people listen to others and make decisions that others ask them to make because in case things go wrong, it is easier to blame others than themselves.

All these people pressuring you to marry won't be the ones to stay in that marriage with you and when things go wrong, they would be one of the many people that would point accusing fingers at you forgetting their part in it because even with their pressure, they know it's your life and you should have made a better decision for yourself.

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I know of a young lady that was pressured into marriage. She is very beautiful and of course young then. The mother made her doubt herself by constantly telling her that she is using her beauty to play around when she could have just used it to get married as quickly as she can. The mother arranged her introduction even though the guy was someone she knew also. She tricked her to come home only for her to get home and noticed they had planned a mini introduction. The mother got her the clothes to wear and everything went on without her prior knowledge.

She reluctantly went ahead with the wedding and after 3 years, it crashed. The guy felt she was from a wealthy background not knowing they were just average. She narrated her experience to me with regret in her voice and I felt that. They had a baby then and she raised the baby by herself after they were separated for a year before making their divorce official. He lied about practically everything just to siphon money from this lady and she didn't know because she felt she was 'supporting' her husband. Out of guilt, the mother told her to bring the child so she can raise the daughter for her while she focus on her job and healing.

This is what happens when you allow other people to dictate the direction of your life by yielding to pressure. It is your life and you have to take charge. If something doesn't feel right to you then don't do it. I believe so much in prayer and you should pray till you have peace in your heart but it has to be an act of total surrender to God because you would be living in a cocoon world of self-delusion when you already have something else in your mind and to fulfil all righteousness you are now asking God for help. You will only be hearing what you have in your mind and that voice of direction from God, you won't listen.

I've read, seen and heard so many examples of how people got pressured into marriages and it didn't work out and that's one of the many reasons why I dislike it when people pressurize others into marriage. Don't listen to them, they are just bored so it's left to you whether you want to be an object of amusement; toy to them.

Thank you for your time.

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