It Depends On The Person.
I've said many times that there is no one size fits all. What works for one person might not work for another person. I am never a big fan of those who generalize things and I have said it also that there is no manual for how things are supposed to be and I am not taking it spiritually.
I am always alarmed when people say that it's never right for a lady to ask a guy out. Why? Personally, I have no issue with it. In fact, I enjoyed it and it makes me feel special because it means they are seeing something and I always want to be on my best behaviour too, not pretentiously but wanting to give my best to make that person feel as special as I felt.
Most people would go out of their way for the person they love when they feel special. You can't treat people like a joke and you think they won't leave you like it's funny. You can't carry someone like a bag of rice and you would be okay if they hold you like a pinch of salt. It doesn't work that way in a relationship and regardless of who asks who out, I feel making each other feel good, appreciating each other and being honest are the things that count and foster love.
The same people that say they can never ask a guy out are still the same ones canvassing for gender equality. I have nothing against gender equality but what I am saying is, you can't say you are for gender equality and then say it's wrong for a lady to ask a guy out. For me, I had no issue with being asked out and I got quite a few back then.
Ladies, I think it's about who you are asking out. There are some guys in invisible diapers that would run their mouth to the whole street because a lady asked them out which makes it difficult for ladies to ask guys out. A lady said the highest she can do is to give the guy a green light and he must be the one to walk the length of doing the asking out. I respect that because she must have had some experiences for her to say that. Some guys make it difficult for ladies to ask them out because they are just adults in diapers.
It takes maturity to accept the love of another even if you don't feel the same with them. Just as a guy is never certain if the lady would accept, ladies shouldn't feel bad about the uncertainty of things too. Most ladies won't ask a guy out because they don't know the level of maturity of the guy but it goes both ways too because a guy might not be certain too. There is risk in love and it's what we should try if we feel the person is worth it.
I think the issue of a lady asking a guy out or not can be thrashed out if only both parties can form a friendship before they ask each other out. As I said, I don't mind being asked out and when I was in the "market" hahaha I got quite a few and I didn't make a meal out of it neither did I refer to it that "she was the one that asked me out". No one should be able to force us to do what we don't want to do especially where the matter of the heart is concerned.
Friendship is important in a relationship and that's why it is easier to overlook some things while addressing other issues. Does it matter who asks each other out where love is concerned? I don't think it should be a big deal. True love has no class or gender barrier, so it doesn't matter if she felt it first or I did, the major part of it is that they both felt the same way and kicked things off.
I've read on social media many times before now how some ladies confessed to being the one that entered their guy's DM (Direct Message) and some of them are married today. Love is never about right or wrong or who does what first or not. It's about the intentions behind the action and I challenge our ladies to take the bold step and make their feelings known to the guy they like. First, they should form a friendship with that person to ascertain the level of that guy's maturity before knowing whether to proceed or not just as I would advise the guy as well.
Maturity is important in a relationship just as friendship is important. Most people just dive into it because of looks but it takes more than looks to make your relationship thrive. You would have to take the focus away from yourself, sacrifice and invest your time, energy, resources and everything in it to make it work. Just as with apology, it doesn't matter who apologizes first as long as you both know who is wrong and the person takes responsibility too.
A lot of people have missed out on the person they love because they felt society would frown against it if they got to know. I shared the story of a lady that was 7 years or so older than me. I didn't care but she seemed to be so worried about what people would say and I told her, who cares? We have allowed what society would say to affect us for too long. Yes, when birthdays are being celebrated, people might get to know she is older but who cares? In the case of a lady asking a guy out, who would know? No one, except the guy decides to blab about it which brings me to the maturity point.
I know we all have stories and have our reservations as to why we would never want a lady to ask us out or why as a lady, we can never ask any guy out. I would love to know your thoughts and reasons too.
Thank you for your time.
My pen doesn't bleed, it speaks. I am love's chemical content in human form and that's why I advise people to take a dose of "Olawalium" daily. 🙈
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Yes sir! Who gives society the right to criticise? It’s us ! The things that you discussed I have similar point too. People say men are never supposed to cry! Can anyone explain me why??? Are they not humans? Don’t they have heart? Why is it we restrict certain things to specific genders? We have got to come out of this foolishness