Don't stay when you aren't wanted!

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Avatar for Oikawa
Written by
2 years ago

Hello everyone, it is Oikawa again! How is everyone doing today? Three days remain till we enter December, aren't you excited? Another month has passed, and you are still alive; that alone should make you happy.

The previous year and this year have been pretty hectic, with lockdowns and instability everywhere; sometimes, I wonder if this decade would be a good one. 

It may have started badly, but I hope we all have a reason to celebrate when we enter 2030.

Anyway, I didn't write this for that reason; I wanted to ask why people still stay in relationships when they know they aren't wanted?

It bugs me to see people sad and lonely when in a relationship with another person, especially when they do not commit to the other.

A friend of mine has liked someone for some time now, and they finally started going out, but the thing is, the other individual has absolutely no interest in them and is only dating them out of pity.

It is sad to hear, but I don't want to intervene because it is not my responsibility.

It shocked me when my friend told me she wanted to get pregnant for him because she thought he would never leave her alone due to his responsibilities as a father. 

She continued stating how it would benefit her and how other girls do it to their boyfriends; I stayed there listening to her crazy talk; I would admit I was horrified by what she said. 

I felt sorry for the guys who fell for this, and I immediately brought her back to her senses; she is only 18 and is thinking of having a baby so that she can stay with a guy.

Sometimes, I wonder how people think; imagine what would have happened if I didn't stop her from fulfilling her plans.

I am sure she would have gotten pregnant and ended up having tons of regret in the future. 

In her mind, I am sure she thinks he would have no other option than to stay with her, and they would both live happily ever after, but life is not a fairytale; one day, I am sure she would look back at her decisions and frown.

I don't want to admit it to her, but over time love will fade, and what keeps a relationship strong is true friendship and responsibilities; there is no point in staying with someone who will not stay in the long run.

The sad part here is that other girls do it, and they may think they are benefiting themselves, but the only person that would be hurt is the baby. 

One day, they may see the baby as the reason they failed in life, which won't be suitable for the child.

If a relationship isn't working, is it not obvious to leave it while you still can? I think that is why dating is important because it allows you to understand and get information on your life with that person.

In the past, people didn't even need to date, their marriages were usually determined by their parents, and they had no voice in making these decisions. 

But now that we have dating, I see no reason for someone to be unhappy in a relationship; if you date a person for six months and have no information on them, you are only creating problems for yourself.

Even after dating, I still see a lot of people unhappy in their relationships. Still, they never want to let go for some reason, and they keep on clinging onto something that has failed, then they go off to marry that person and end up unhappy forever.

You didn't come to this world to be unhappy, and we only live once, so why would you choose to spend yours with regrets.

This problem doesn't only happen in dating and marriage; it also happens in friendships.

I see this a lot of times, a situation where someone clings to a popular/famous person because they want to receive approval from that person.

You will see them being treated like trash or invalid, but they still cling to that person, hoping they will give them approval one day.

No one needs to approve of you before you live your life; you didn't come into this world to make others happy because no matter what you do, there will be people who still dislike you.

Live for yourself, and when you are unhappy in a relationship with someone, talk with them, and share how you feel; they may understand, they may not understand. 

If that person truly values you, they will understand and change how they act towards you.

"Don't stay when you are not wanted" You are only hurting yourself.

Thank you for reading! 

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2 years ago

Comments

Love should be from the two sides. Once it is not so, it's only a waste of time.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

True talk. A life lesson to learn to avoid future regrets. I can't imagine myself staying with a person who doesn't love me or who I don't love.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

I've been in the situation before that I am the only one who wanted the relationship to keep going, probably because I have a lot of faith to the man I love. I was so blind, that I was not able to see that I was taken for granted. For years, I overused myself for running after the man who doesn't like me anymore. It took me years to realize my worth and that I should not stay anymore because they I wasn't needed anymore. When I finally learned to let go, I felt like I freed myself from a cage. It was the best thing I ever did to my life.

$ 0.05
2 years ago

I am glad you were able to realize it in time before you decided to spend the rest of your life with them.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Everything you said are absolutely correct. We can't force other people to treat us right. Love and respect comes from the mind and if they don't give it to us it can't be forced.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

100% agree to this.. this is why I keep telling many boys/girls that they need to learn self respect in their lives and to love themselves... they need to learn they are worthit

$ 0.03
2 years ago

I don't like to judge people but I understand and share your point. There are people who hold themselves in very low esteem and allow themselves to live desperate situations in their lives. Living with someone without being loved. Having children without being responsible to have them.

$ 0.04
2 years ago

Not everyone has the courage to take themselves off from the relationship, and especially when it's formal. You said it right, we should not affect our child for this. Like I say, when love is no longer served, leave the table.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

That is so true, Remona. Thank you!

$ 0.00
2 years ago

There is no reason to stay in a relationship that's not working at all ..you will just continue hurting yourself..

$ 0.03
2 years ago

That is what I keep telling her, but I guess love blinds people.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Yeah..that's the usual problem...they became Blinded by the love they felt

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Knowing that you are being pitted in a relationship is more than toxic.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

It truly is sad to be in a relationship out of pity.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

She is doing wrong coz there is no guarantee her boyfriend will never leave her if she get pregnant. I saw lots of people who have broken their relationship even after having one or two babies. We can't force someone to love us back , if you feel the person whom you love is not interested then break this one side relationship. May Almighty give her courage and strength to think about this matter with a brave and wise heart

$ 0.03
2 years ago

My thoughts exactly, Evaa! He may still leave her after she gets pregnant, and she will still end up alone. It is better she thinks before she acts. Thank you for dropping by, I appreciate it.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Though I have not seen her in real but yet I'm worried about her, please try to tell her the truth , I hope she will definitely understand.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Well noted on this. You read me on this. Self love is more important before anything else. Only you, yourself will be the one who will take care of you.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

Exactly, dear. Self-love is needed because even if no one loves us, we should learn to love ourselves as we are.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Good thing you did help her friend. That's the problem Youth facing now they easily lost their strength. That's why early pregnancy is issued

$ 0.03
2 years ago

She may still go ahead with her plan, and it scares me. I hope youths understand the dangers of early pregnancy.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Why she sounds obsess and really not in love? And yeah, you should explain to her that if thinga go wrong the one who'll suffer is the baby. And for sure she'll regret that for the rest of her life. And why force yourself to someone if it's hopeless already my gosh 🤦

$ 0.03
2 years ago

Yeah, it sounded like she was obsessed with the guy, and wants approval from him. It looks weird seeing her do to herself, for someone that doesn't even consider her at all, it is better she leaves, even if it hurts her.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Having a baby was never a guarantee that his boyfriens wouldn't leave her especially if it os just a one side love affair. I felt sorru fpr your friend but she better concentratw first in her studies. She is still young.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

Yeah, there is no guarantee he stays with her, and she is still so young to be thinking of things like that. But I guess, her mind isn't telling her that.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Maybe she was so inlove.. hope she would realized it soonest

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Trueeee! Somehow love will ruined our good thinking its because we poisoned by the feelings of love even the other side don't want you. It seems like you are making a way just to get that man . Oh come on, you are worthy girl! Don't be a hunger of man, let the man hunger of being you.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

Lol, I love the way you put it. I think she is obsessed with his approval, and she may only end up hurting herself. Well I will try my best to guide her I guess.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

self-respect is great asset for anyone . We shouldn't degraded ourselves in search of relationship. Or we can't be forced to build a relationship by any means. Relationship always stands on mutual respect and love . Single handed clap never sounds good . If I didn't get any worth of my presence , I will move!!!

$ 0.03
2 years ago

Hmm, I guess we should understand what a relationship is before we get into one because some people just enter one thinking it would be like a fairytale when it is not. I agree with relationship being built on mutual respect and love, nice one

$ 0.00
2 years ago

This is a good reminder Oikawa. Sometimes there are of things that we are already blind because of the feelings we've got, because of the love. We don't give our self us a chance to realize because we are only focusing of a one thing that we may think it is the best way to do even it's the worst.

Sometimes we need to wake up to. Don't risk yourself even you don't know what will be back to you. You're only hurting yourself. You need to leave that situation or else you will regret at the end.

You're so kind hearted to your friend Oikawa because you help her what is the right and the best thing to do.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

Like you know how they say… relationships no be by force .. that is a true statement sometimes we just need to understand that we can never change a persons heart toward us .. someone who is not in love with you most likely will never be in love with you even if you trick him with a baby or not…

What she wanted to do was risk ..

$ 0.03
2 years ago

I don't know why we choose to force a relationship, even when we know it won't work out. We end up hurting ourselves, and as you said if someone doesn't love you, may probably never love you, so there is no point in staying.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Exactly the point

$ 0.00
2 years ago

While I was reading,do you know that I suddenly remember my friend? I have written an article about her love story and how's her situation right now. From the very beginning it's obviously that my friend who has love the most, and right now her partner just stayed on her side because of her favour, for the kids. Though I keep on reminding her to start packing up her feelings to her ex, (I can say that her partner is her ex already because it doesn't love her anymore) because she knows the reason of its stay, but I think until now she still hoping that her ex will love her back. It's crazy but she's being too naive.

$ 0.05
2 years ago

Hmm, I think she doesn't want to admit that she doesn't love her anymore, and now she is only staying for the kids. She put herself into the situation, and now she doesn't know how to leave; I hope she figures things out.

$ 0.00
2 years ago