Getting Emo on the First of July
I am getting emotional, I bet only mothers can relate to how I am feeling. It’s already July, soon, my baby will turn two. I scanned through Matti’s photobook from when he was still a newborn until he turned one and I really miss those moments. I can’t explain how I felt!
Thanks dearest sponsors!The entire day today, I just get emotional randomly. When Matti was laughing while I was tickling him, I just started to get emotional. When he slept while I was breastfeeding him, I can’t help but stare at his face. Many times this past month I had thought of weaning him intentionally but whenever he asks for “dede” time, I admit, I am happy he needs me.
I read a lot of testimonials from breastfeeding moms who cried a river when their breastfed child finally decided to wean off the breast, they say, it's a heartbreaking thing but it is also a joyous moment to know that she did her best to give her child the best nutrition she could ever provide. And I don’t want to feel that yet.
I know some of you might think this is overacting but I guess it is just different when you are a mom, a breastfeeding mom. I guess its part of postpartum.
I had a talk with my sister-in-law who had weaned her first born at ten months, she said she dislike the feeling of having a toddler sucking his nipples so she decided to get her weaned. I understand her and I know it’s different for every mother, it’s our decision, and it's what we think is the best for us and for the baby.
In my case, my primary goal was the best nutrition for my child, this is something that my mother and the people around me are not in favor of. Most people here go breastfeeding for a few months and then wean the babies.
But I had read a lot and I had joined support groups about breastfeeding and its advantages. I stopped giving the people around me information because they won’t listen, I just continued breastfeeding and I don’t care if they’d comment about a toddler breastfeeding. I know what’s best for my baby.
And so, in relation to that, I had become emotional because Matti’s turning two this month and he is starting to show independence but I am not ready yet.
Also, I had been thinking of what’s the best birthday event I could provide him. My husband told me not to stress about those things, we will not hold any party and will just be setting a prebirthday photoshoot and on his birthday, we will be buying a cake for Matti to blow the candle as he has been practicing that. I guess he is right because Matti can’t appreciate a birthday party right now, he is still two years old and what’s important for him, for now, is play.
I also thought of going somewhere to celebrate his birthday but the husband was not in favor. So I got a little sad about it but I understand my husband as well. Lately, because of the funds we spent on the land property, we are making our best to save money, and going out would mean spending. In fact, for the past few weeks, we are just staying at home, keeping the car at home as much as possible. The only times that we are out are when we go to church which happens on Saturdays and Sundays. We in fact laughed because whenever we are in the car and we ask Matti where we are going, he’d automatically say church. We all know how expensive gas is at this day.
With this month opening up, and the crypto world being bloody red, it makes me sadder, I wanted real bad to give my baby something but I guess we just have to learn delayed gratification as of the moment.
If you have any budget friendly ideas for a birthday, let me know guys!
You may want to check my previous articles too:
xoxo,
momentswithmatti
Mother | Boholana | Cebu | Philippines | Travel | Photography Enthusiast | Calligraphy | Art | Crypto Noob
I feel you on this mamsh...from the start of the month I've been dreading to cry a river since my son really grow fast. huhhuuuhuhuhuh kato palang pag engun niya nga big na siya kay kuya na siya,,aguy akong hilak ato mamsh tibuok gabie jud and up until now di pa nako dawat nga dako na akong anak