I'm halfway reading the book Unlocking Your Family Patterns by Dr. Henry Cloud, Dr. John Townsend, Dave Carder, and Dr. Earl Henslin. It is part of several required book readings for the Agape Bible Course I'm enrolled in. Aside from the book, we were also required to watch the movie Instant Family, a 2018 American family comedy-drama film starring Mark Wahlberg and Rose Byrne as parents who adopt three siblings and realized that there is more to parenting than just welcoming kids into their homes. My girlfriend and I watched the movie and we reflect on it right after.
The book and the movie talked about the same thing: family dynamics. To state the obvious, no families are alike. Our parents came from different backgrounds, raised by couples who also came from different backgrounds. Even siblings, no matter how close they are growing together, have a lot of differences. Yes, even twins!
Boiling pot for conflicts
It is no surprise that our families are often a boiling pot for conflicts and tensions. I can never count the times when I disagreed with my younger brother. My parents also had countless arguments over trivial or not-so-trivial things. Perhaps it's safe to say that a family without a conflict is not normal. We may be living under the same roof, but we are wired differently.
But no matter how many times we argue within our family, we always try to protect each other. We will fight for them no matter what. We may see our siblings as a nuisance but no one can hurt or take advantage of them - not on our watch. We are willing to get hurt for them to be safe; we are willing to lose for them to win. That's how we fight for our family.
Severing the ties
But when do we give up on them? Will there come a time when we have to cut ties with them?
I have read one comment thread on Facebook that when family members are already sucking the life out of you, and they are too toxic beyond help, you must learn to sever the ties. As a family-oriented person, it hurts to read how the conversation went.
I cannot speak on behalf of other families, for as I have mentioned, no families are alike. Though I do have my share of "almost giving up" moments, I still cannot stand the thought of leaving them. Perhaps this is a Filipino cultural thing. We do not cut the ties completely. There has to be a line that connects between family members, no matter the distance.
Family is Forever
A local television network once rallied the Filipino people under the banner "Family is Forever". It typically embodied what it means to be a Filipino - that no matter what happens, a family is still a family. There may conflict, separations, broken and wounded families, and infighting, but at the end of the day, families have a special place in our hearts.
I cannot speak for everyone, but how I wish this to be true. That no matter what our family dynamics is, may love and mutual respect and loyalty be upon all.
Read my other BCH-related blogs:
Bitcoin Cash Changed not only my Routine but also my Perspective
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Hi, I am Marts! I am a writer, and aside from my stint here in read.cash, I also have my blog - martsvalenzuela.com. I appreciate it if you visit me! I plan on growing my readership as I learn to improve my craft and journey towards my passion to write and publish books that add value to people.
Let's rock!
This is so true pooooo. Family is embedded in our culture as much as it brings good to us it also affects us a lot. I think more and more Filipinos are realizing this and going against the norm