When Midnight Comes

Some people think that midnight is the scariest time that people could experience in their day. I agree with this somehow because of how random yet questionable what a person could still do at that time phrase. As for me, midnight is one of the precious moments because I found peace every time it comes around. If there could be any chance for you to visit my room, you could still see my pc open, whether the Microsoft word or the Google Classroom was the tab that was still open because I often do activities at that moment. Like my Mom, every time says: “you always do the night as morning and vice versa, why would you stay that late? Could you please fix your sleeping routine?” Well, believe it or not, I tried and I am trying. I tried to sleep as early as 10 pm before but it just ended up until 3 am when I still haven’t found my sleep yet. I have had insomnia since this college started. Even though I need to go to bed sometimes, I still have to do some paper works and activities sometimes which causes me of staying that late. You can add the anxiety that attacks me every time I finish some tasks. It’s so exhausting.

But most of the time, it is the time where I start to reflect on things I did for a day. It’s sometimes become my moment to plan where I will get the money I need for some things, plan the things I will need for an activity, and my time to talk with myself about how I have gone from some things sometimes bothers me. Mostly, I am calling for myself; how do I become like this, why do some people think that I can do the things they can’t do but even I, do have doubts about performing it. Anyways, it is not always like that. I am still eyeing for the best as much as I can even though many barriers block my way onto it. Therefore, thinking about what will gonna happen to me tomorrow is a common happening when midnight comes. It helps sometimes; it becomes my way of having a topic for what I will get to write tomorrow. It is beneficial most of the time. Is this what you are also doing at that moment?

Sometimes, it is also my time of playing some games I missed playing for a day. Actually, I only have one game on my phone and the rest of the installed applications were academic-related applications—that causes me much stress every time I look at them. I will not drop the name of the game, but that game expresses magic. What magic I am referring to is the random friendship I usually get whenever I open that game. It is rare for me to make friends in in-person interaction but talking to strangers in that game gives me instant friends I don’t expect we will be. It is also the time I am giving my best to show what I have got to show because they are boosting me by their “ggs”—that for a person like me would deal a lot of boosts as it means a lot to me. It just means “good games” but it feels like “great games. I say what you did those, you are good at what you are doing.” It is boosting, isn’t it?

Lastly, sometimes, I am also an artist. I am actually every time as I am filling the things I am doing with my art. Maybe because I am somehow a perfectionist in what I do, but I am also sluggish sometimes, especially when things are weighing heavy on me. Pencils become my way to draw what I can’t say and a ruler for what I can’t point directly. If we summarize the things I mentioned in this article, it looks like these three factors are the only factors that make my midnight alive. What I put behind letters in this article are the things that are so much heavy to say through my mouth. On the other hand, midnight is a fun moment to experience as it is a time of calmness and a time for ourselves. Hopefully, this week when I am taking my rest, I may skip one midnight to have rest for the barriers I don’t want to trigger.

Thank you for reading this article.

You can read my previous articles here:

How was Your Holy Week?

Music is What Makes me Calm These Past Few Days.

Words That Used to be Hidden.

A Lonely Walk at the End of the Week.

In This Challenging World, Who Are You?