Yellow-Bellied: I was a Coward

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Avatar for Jeaneth
3 years ago

Growing up, doing such risky things are not my thing. I grew up aloof, silent and distant from everyone. Part of my childhood has a great influence on it.

If I feel like I will go through a stressful situation then I would refuse to do so. Because of this, I have missed a lot of opportunities which I thought to myself that things would turn out differently if only I took the risk.


I refuse to join the Journalism Club in grade school.

From Grades 1 to 3, I attended a private school. The competition there was not so tight although I can say that I'm one of those achievers in the classroom. I'm quiet, and never leaves my seat if necessary.

I remember back in my 1st-grade years, it was the first day of class and my anxiety went up to level 101 (exaggeration at its finest). I can't seem to find a comfort room inside the classroom so I have to excuse myself and go outside to pee.

So because of this too much introversion, I can't stand to raise my hand and excuse myself to my teacher and so I held on to my pee for as long as I could but I failed and peed on my underwear πŸ€¦β€β™€οΈπŸ˜†

Going back about refusing about the Journalism, when I'm in my 4th grade to 6th grade, I transferred to the public school where my mother is teaching.

I was invited by one of the coaches for the Journalism team. He saw potential in me in terms of Radio broadcasting. He's my English teacher in 6th grade and it so happened that we had an activity about media. We did roleplaying and I played as a newscaster.

However, when he mentioned Journalism and it has something to do with competing other schools, I got so terrified and overthink. I can't help to see myself perform in a huge crowd with teachers and judges in front of me.

I became a scaredy-cat and let go of that golden opportunity. It could have made a great impact to my school performance.

But anyway, past is past. I can no longer change what has been made so I have to move on. It has nothing to do with my situation right now. Or could be? If only I honed my skills.

I knew it's one of my strengths but it also became my weakness. I was overpowered by negativity and cowardice.


When I entered high school, I slowly took a step forward little by little. I joined school organizations such as Singing Ministry (Choir group in the church), Campus Ministry (Religious group), School Band (lyrist) and Student Body Organization (Councilor).

Joining these organizations boosted my self-esteem. Somehow, it gave me a validation of treating myself that I'm capable of something. That I have the skills or talent.

I am still an introvert. I don't really interact that much with the people around me but if there's someone I'm close with and I feel safe with, then I can be an open book.


When I entered college, things were a bit different. Of course, it's the start of establishing a career. However, the course I chose doesn't seem to fit my personality but with great determination and perseverance (copy my classmates' assignments) I was able to graduate.

The skills I have in verbal communication and music were put on hold so I can focus on my course.

In 2015, I graduated and on the same year, I took the risk of getting a job far from home. That's when I started taking the risks. I learned my lesson and so I have to take the steps for great progress.

For 3 years, I became a Customer Service Representative and a College Instructor. Two different experiences but were enough to help me realize about things. I became matured in decision-making. I know there's always a room to grow there are more challenges to come.

I can definitely say that I can manage those with the help of my loved ones.

Now that I'm on the verge of what career to pursue, I'm up for an adventure and would be willing to take the risk because I know this is worth a try.


Such a random article. But yeah, that's all my mind can offer now.

Thanks for reading.

Keep safe everyone ❀


By the way, I have made several piano covers. You might wanna check it out. Thank you ❀

Subscribe to my channel:

https://youtube.com/channel/UCb71HsAjb04K74_R8C5Kxiw


Out Of My League

214 by Rivermaya (Intro only)

10,000 Reasons (Bless The Lord)

La Vie En Rose

Moon River

Forevermore

River Flows in You

Only Reminds Me of You

When You're Gone

Love Story

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3 years ago

Comments

Introverted din ako pero murag labaw pa jud ka cguro sa akoa heheh! Nung high school gusto ko rin maging TV news anchor hahah! Ayan medyo relevant nmn pinaggagawa natin dito sa mga hilig natin noon πŸ˜‚

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3 years ago

Haha. That's right. Mao gyud ni nahimo natong channel for our frustrations. πŸ˜…

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3 years ago

Haha! Mao jud ay.. Sagdi lang lingaw mn pud πŸ˜‚

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3 years ago

Ohhh so that's why your voice is so good OwO bow i know why but i was the same. Now I'm just making the most of where i am

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3 years ago

Thanks πŸ˜… Yeah, that's right. Life may take you everywhere so just enjoy every bit of it? Hehe

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3 years ago

or try to enjoy UwU at least doggos will give us the happiness we need

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3 years ago

So true. Dogs are main source of happiness. ❀

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3 years ago

I am glad to know the story of how you overcome that coward feeling.

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3 years ago

Thank you so much. ❀

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3 years ago

I also always remember the guy in grade school that got called out to the board to solve a math problem and pissed his pants xD Luckily for me I never had this problem, if I did I'd still think of it to this day I'm sure. Cheers

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3 years ago

Hahaha. It will always haunt you and make you smile if you remember it in no time. Poor guy, he went under too much pressure so he couldn't hold on longer. πŸ€«πŸ˜†

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3 years ago

Wow 2015 dn ako grumaduate mag ka batch pala tayoπŸ˜…pero bongga ka huh naging professor ka pa pala ang dame mo talent yay outstanding students ka dn sanal allπŸ˜… kanta ka nga ulitπŸ˜…haha char lng.

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3 years ago

Haha. Thank youuu πŸ˜… ka batch pala tayo. Oo, mag cover ako ng Imagine by John Lennon. πŸ™ˆ

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3 years ago

Yay sige aabanagn ko batchπŸ˜…πŸ€—πŸ€—

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3 years ago

I remembered my classmates who peed their pants in grade school too. 🀣 I'm not an introvert person but I fear failure so many times I get rid of challenges during my school days in which deep inside I really wanted to join.. Maybe my stepmoms treatment to me has a negative impact on me during those days.

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3 years ago

That could be a reason too. Malaki talaga impact ng childhood no.

Core memory talaga yung mga naka-ihi. Haha πŸ˜†

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3 years ago

I missed listening to your piano covers πŸ₯°. Parehas jud ta ghorl dali ra mataranta imbes opportunity na unta.. Hehe.. I also lack self esteem kay my mother always ask me "kabalo diay ka?" "ayaw lang day kay basin maulawan ka" πŸ₯Ί.. and another thing I also peed my pants in 1st grade 😁.. Makaremember ko sa akong self while reading this.. πŸ˜…

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3 years ago

Hehehe. Relate na relate diay ka ani madam. πŸ™ˆ mao lage. Lahi jud diay basta strong imong foundation sa childhood kay ma boost pud imo self esteem.

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3 years ago

Galing mo mag piano.. San ka natoto? Kita ko isa sa mga video mo..

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3 years ago

Thanks madam. Sa youtube lang din natuto πŸ˜…

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3 years ago