How Do You Handle Disappointments?

I define disappointments as missed appointments.

We usually get frustrated when things don't go on our way. We then start to doubt ourselves if was it really not meant for me or I just didn't exert my full potential to achieve it?

Dealing with disappointments is something that a pessimistic person would go through because it adds up to their anxiety and it affects their well-being. For one, I would say that I was once a pessimist and it was so hard to deal with everything around you that is full of negativities.

We face our own different struggles and for sure we shouldn't invalidate one's struggle as petty because we don't share the same level of pain and stress tolerance.

Of course, by definition, appointments are schedules agreed by two parties to meet at a certain place, time, or situation. So that means to say that dis-appointment happens when one (may it be a person, desired career, sign, event) did not meet other person on the desired time you wished to.

If this particular appointment was not met, does that make you a failure?

Well, you're not. If you put all your efforts to achieve that something you truly desire, but you did not achieve it, that makes you a winner. Even if you exhausted all your time and energy for that you were not able to surpass it, you're still winning.

That just means to say that it will lead you to something better than what you desired for. We are naturally biased to react to negativities and so we have this automatic reaction that maybe it's on us. That maybe we lacked effort, we didn't give our best shots.

Nope. It's not always the case. There are things not meant for us and it is some sort of a detour to where we should be at. Again, it's an appointment. Two parties have an agreement. Whether it's a job application and you didn't get hired, you broke up with your girlfriend, you didn't pass the entrance exam for your desired school, you failed to achieve the passing score for your aspired course, it has something to do with timing.

Why do we get disappointed?

Simple, because we established a certain level of expectation for that situation to happen. However, setting expectations is not bad at all. It's just that, you were hopeful and you believed you can achieve it.

The fact that you believed in something positive to happen means that there is hope and that there's still good in this world. The fact that you are still surviving means there is hope. There is still a chance to try again. It's never too late to exert effort again.

The good thing about disappointments is that it prepares you for better situations which are bound to measure your grit, endurance, and perseverance. When you get disappointed and you decide to try again, you are no longer the same person who failed that test. You are the person who survived that ordeal and you have become stronger in any way that you imagine.

You had someone you look up to.

One possible reason for getting disappointed is when you have someone you look up to and it turns out that they're not the person you want them to be.

We have these idols in our lives that we aspire to be like them but when you figure out that they have secrets shouting for truth which is the exact opposite they're showing in public, that's heartbreaking.

You never get satisfied and contentment.

You always want something more and if you sustain that attitude in your entire life then you will always be disappointed at a certain point.

For sure there's a certain circumstance in your life where you wanted something so badly and you promised yourself or God that if you can get it, you will be satisfied and contented with your life. Then, you finally did. You got it, now what? What's next?

It's a nature of a human being to keep asking for more.

It's more of the intangible things that we are not grateful for. There's a missing piece in our hearts that we want but we anchor ourselves to other things to pacify that feeling which doesn't help the situation at all.

How have I grown as a person?

Learn to be more grateful.

Having a grateful heart speaks more of your character. Developing this powerful attitude is something that everyone must have as much as possible. That way, you wouldn't feel insecure with yourselves. Learn to appreciate the things you have than what you had before.

This is not about lowering your expectations but to practice gratitude.

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Thanks for reading.

Keep safe everyone! ❤