There are cheap apologies that, instead of repairing, generate more damage. A sincere sorry, the kind that heals and soothes, must be accompanied by empathy and repair-oriented behaviors. Sometimes, saying sorry does not erase the pain caused. It doesn't matter if it was just an unfortunate word, an occasional bad gesture or a more serious offense, the kind that leaves a mark. Saying an apology out loud does not act as a magic spell capable of appeasing the contradiction, the offense or the mark of disappointment in a second. Such reparation requires more actions and details. Hearing an "I'm sorry" allows us to see that the other person regrets something in particular, that there is regret and that as such, it is positive and necessary.
However, something more is needed. To appease the pain caused, gestures, intentions and subsequent behaviors aimed at change are necessary, aimed at repairing and not falling back into those behaviors that caused the damage. This appreciation is important, for example, in the field of education. We are often obsessed with instilling in children the value of saying "I'm sorry" when they do something inappropriate; however, we are not concerned with teaching them what comes next. In revealing to them how they can make amends. If they don't, their apologies will be empty, hollow and cheap. Authentic sorry requires certain "ingredients" that every person must learn early on.
In fact, this is the only way to take better care of our relationships, being convincing, sincere and skilled in emotional intelligence. Sincere apologies change realities, help, soothe and comfort. The pain caused will not disappear instantly, but perceiving that the other person shows authenticity in their words, deeds and will always help. Forgiveness is closely connected to the education we have received. As children we were taught to ask for forgiveness and to forgive. These are basic "skills" that fathers and mothers considered essential. When we did something wrong we had to ask for forgiveness and likewise we were taught that it was "good" to forgive. We learned that asking for forgiveness was an expression of repentance and a way to repair the mistake, the damage caused.
Also, by forgiving you showed that you were a "good person", understanding and sensitive. Asking for forgiveness or being able to forgive are social skills, useful resources in our personal relationships, which are learned and perfected, but whose practice involves greater or lesser difficulty depending on our personality traits and our way of managing emotions. Apologies are one of the tools we use to build good friendships and relationships. When you say "I'm sorry" (and you really are sorry), it's because you probably feel bad that something you did or said hurt someone else. Saying you're sorry is more than just words. You are also saying that you respect the other person and care about their feelings. Apologizing shows that you have empathy.
In conclusion, we all make mistakes. We are human and it's not always easy to get along with everyone all the time. Sometimes we hurt people's feelings without meaning to. Sometimes we are deliberately mean to someone and then we feel bad. So we apologize. An apology tells someone that we are sorry for the hurt we caused, even if we didn't do it on purpose. It is a way of saying that we are aware of what we did and that we will try to be better in the future. Sometimes, a sincere "I'm sorry" fixes everything right away. Other times, it may take a while for someone to get over the angry feelings. Maybe the person needs some time.
Do you think an apology is enough?
Disclaimer: I would like to let you know that English is not my mother tongue, I may even make some mistakes in the elaboration of sentences in my posts. Feel free to correct me attentively. It will help me in my learning process.
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There is always forgiveness, all apologies are accepted when it come lt comes from the heart, but the gap and hatred past experiences can easily remembered.