This expression is recurrent and tempting when someone is going through a complicated situation. Many of us have been in that situation. We have just lost a job, broken up a relationship, and suffered a disappointment and, just when we are discussing any of these events with a close person, we are told this phrase. It is a resource or crutch that we hear frequently; beyond whether it is useful or not, there is evidence. It is very common that we tend to compare our situations with those of others: we use them as a reference. Sometimes, knowing that someone else is going through a more complicated reality can bring us some relief. Now, as curious as it may seem, this type of resource has been studied by the field of psychology.
Well, we know that it is a type of adaptation strategy to which we frequently resort. However, this "lifesaver" has nuances and it is important to take them into account. For example, we are on our way home from work and the car breaks down. We get out of it, we put the signaling. After a while, we say to ourselves that it could be even worse. It could rain. And with that, we console ourselves. Another example, we go to our doctor's appointment and he informs us that we have diabetes; we get scared and the doctor smiles and tells us that "that's nothing, it could be worse, because there are much more serious diseases". When any of us experiences an unpleasant situation and faces it, it will depend on that first confrontation of the problem or that initial shock that we will "process" it better later.
In these two examples we see ourselves in two very different situations. In the first one, indeed, thinking that the situation will not become more complicated generates relief. However, the second example shows the type of situation in which we often fall into, the one in which what we achieve is to underestimate a situation by comparing it with another. The fact that we are told that there are people in more complicated and difficult situations than ours does not help. What is actually achieved with this strategy is to invalidate someone's particular reality and, in turn, generate some remorse at the fact that they may feel relieved by the idea that there are those who are worse off. Therefore, it is neither logical nor ethical to resort to this type of comments.
In fact, if there is a matter in which we usually fail, the best thing to do is to know how to support, to accompany, and to be of help to others. When we go through a moment of difficulty, we do not usually expect those around us to put an end to the problem or to the mourning for the loss suffered. We only desire and expect understanding and closeness. However, there are many who make use of those unfortunate comments, those in which the whip of "don't worry, it could be worse" is always present. If I have had an accident and I only have a sore neck, being told that things could have been worse can generate more anguish and fear. No one is wise or clairvoyant in this matter of knowing how to live well; we only begin to be clear about some things when we have already lived them.
Finally, in few circumstances will the comment "it could be worse" be truly useful. Let us not avoid the present suffering or the singular reality of each person, no matter how small it may seem to us. Every concern and every personal situation deserves to be acknowledged and respected. In this sense, if we do not understand that the situation experienced by the other person is capable of generating real suffering and anguish in him/her, it will be very difficult for us to help him/her. Forgetting about perfectionism, about how things should be, about what should or should not happen, is the key to stop being terrified and thus be able to face life with more optimism, but above all, with greater acceptance. Embracing things as they come, without giving up or resigning ourselves to them, is a powerful buffer against suffering.
Have you ever heard this phrase?
Disclaimer: I would like to let you know that English is not my mother tongue, I may even make some mistakes in the elaboration of sentences in my posts. Feel free to correct me attentively. It will help me in my learning process.
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