Parenting has to be one of the toughest jobs/ duties one can have and also the sweetest. It might be easy in the beginning when the child is a baby, but when the kid starts growing the parents have to be on their toes all the time. The stage where the parent might start having problems with the kid a lot is when he or she becomes a teenager. At this age, the kid believes he knows more than his parents, and the parents believe they know what's good for them from experience.
A few days back I read @Eybyoung article about her little girl's adventure which got her angry, (link) I started thinking of the numerous times my little cousins provoked their mum. Yesterday I read ate Jane's article titled "Bibliophile" though it was something entirely different from raising a child but it brought back memories of my childhood days.
Before I go further I would like to add that, I have no experience raising a child. This article is basically from personal experience, friends' story and the things I’ve seen in families around.
Baby
The mother faces the major workload here. Tending to the baby at all times. The baby can’t talk when feeling any discomfort, the only way they can express themselves Is by crying. Countless times mothers do wake up in the middle of the night to feed the baby or tend to his/her needs. This is not to say the man has no part to play in caring for a baby, some men do, though most fathers don’t even know how to change a diaper.
Toddler
The baby starts crawling around the house. The mother has to be aware of all movements. They move towards the fridge, towards the TV, Gas and everything. Whatsoever they see is straight to their mouth. They are always a handful at this stage.
Age 5-10
This is an important stage in a child’s life. The kid needs to be showered with love. Whatsoever they do at this stage will tell a lot on what/who they will turn out to be in future. It’s easy to chastise and punish them when they do something bad, but they need to be shown love and also parents should preach self-confidence to them.
Teenage age
This is the most critical part of a child’s life. As I said earlier, ate Jane’s article reminded me of what happened a few years back
“I read my first novel at the age of 9 titled “easy loving”. Before that, I was used to reading stories with pictures plastered on different pages and just 50 pages maximum. I became addicted to reading novels. My sister has so many collections of Harlequin and silhouette series which I do borrow without her consent. My parents took offence with this and punished me several times for reading such novels. The reason they gave was that I’m too young to read such. Back then I didn’t understand that they meant well for me. I was angry and I resorted to hiding in the toilet to read novels. Once I hear the sound of footsteps, I will hide it and flush the toilet in pretence. I also take them to school to read and I went on for years.
Looking back now, I realize what my parents were doing was for my own good. They knew the danger of reading such novels at a tender age, but I didn’t understand them back then”
This brings me to the question “Is there a better way they could have done it”
The problems parents and children faces are also caused by the difference in generation. The way they are brought up back then is quite different from how things are today, we might call them “old school” but someday what we count as modern will also be old school. We will also become parents someday and we will see how tough it is trying to persuade a kid to do the right thing.
Maybe my parents could have done it this way. Take me to a store and help me choose the right novel. There are interesting stories based on adventure and love that does not have erotic content. It’s written right on the cover of the novel. Maybe I wouldn’t have misunderstood them or seen it as them trying to stop my passion for reading.
As I said earlier, someday we all are going to be parents. We should try to have conversations with our kids. When they are of age talk about Sex with them. The danger of premarital sex and all. If you don’t have these conversations with them, the Internet will teach them. And when it does, the result won’t be pleasant.
Thanks for reading! 🤱💚🤼♀️
It's really not easy. God give all parents the needed grace