My plans for the year 2022

Today, I am not active that much and that not new because you already know the reason why. But this time, I have another thoughts that running on my head that's why, I choose myself to be at peace so that I can able to think carefully about these matters. I even lock my self in the room because I don't like anyone to disturb me while I am thinking. I don't chat my virtual friends and just hold my phone to listen to music until I fall asleep.

This is not the first time that it happens and it feels like a Dejá vu and it makes me go back to the past at year 2018 before and after I graduated Senior High School. Making decision is really hard you know? While thinking, there are a lot of things that it is also at my head together with the thoughts that I want to do. Thoughts like, do I really like to do that? Do I really can make it? Can I really trust my self?

Honestly, when making decision, I don't trust my self that much. I am not confident esp. when we talk about my future because of the What if's? I don't like to disappoint my self because of the outcome of my decision.

Why and when I start to think about my future again? Well, because of I dreamed last night that the house that I build was destroyed. In my dream i am crying at that time because who wouldn't? The house that I build was just destroyed in front of me and then when I woke up, it's already morning and I can even touch my cheecks because of my tears. While I am making my coffee, these thoughts come to my mind, "What if, That dream is the sign of I will not make it? I can't really build for my Mom's house?".

That thought is really makes me scared. Why it is so very hard to become adult? Because seriously, securing and thinking about future is really hard? that i am 21 years old already yet I don't still have enough budget for building house.

I have a lot of thoughts that I can't even focus to my grind and there is also a moment a while ago that I almost cried because it's really drive me crazy thinking about my life and my Mom's.

I admit that I have a lot of changes to me right now. If you all noticed, I always cash out money and usually it is always for the house, and I also spend for my self which is I promise to my self that I will buy all the things that I want after I build our house yet here I am, I spend money for buying beauty product, bags, and even clothes that I am not happy because of what I did. I even said sorry to my Mom for spending my BCH for myself instead that it is just a budget for the house.

I bang my head on the wall slowly because I want to go back to who I am. The ExpertWritter that always active, the expertwritter that always thinking a idea of what to write about, this writer that you know before that can able to read 20 articles everyday but now I can't able to do it because of my phone but i'm trying okay? Because I don't like to ruined my Grind.

What I am planning to do in the year of 2022?

Renting Boarding House

My cousin have her own boarding house that supposed to be our house before but me and my Sister declained the offer of our boarding house because we can't do the things that we usually do because our Aunt and Uncle are just our neighbor. But since now, that my Cousin is just living alone on her room because they are the one who rented it, I decided to move there but in a different room. I will grab the opportunity if there are some tenant that will abandoned the room and rent it. Because of the reason that, I am planning to...

Learn to Live independent

You know, we are not staying young forever. We need to learn a lot of things. One of my plan before when I graduated to SHS is I will start to become independent. I will learn how to do the things that aduly always do. One of what I am lack of is can't do the things that my parents can. Cooking is really hard for me and I am not good at it, that's why I also plan to learn on my own how to cook for myself, how to manage my Money and savings... Like that. Another reason why I want to do that is because what if I will get married right? I can't serve my husband very well because I can't cook. I want to do it here actually but I'm afraid that they will not like the taste of what I am cooking so, I promise to myself that once I can live independent, I will go back here and help them what I learned while I am living alone.

Of course, Finding work is also one of my plans after I graduated SHS. I decided to just find a job before so that i can able to help my Mom because when I will study college, a lot of money can be spend, a lot of years to wait before I can help her. So I just decided to find work and when the time that I found a job together with my Classmate before to Mcdo near to our Market, my Mom declained it and my Grandparents too because I am still young at that time and they are worried to me and then the COVID comes to our country that's why I am still here and staying at our house.

I planned to find work even if whatever that job is as long as it is decent and i will not do any illegal things. I plan to find work because I would like to add another extra income so I can easy build our house in the end of that year of the 2022.

Conclusion...

That plans that i made for the year of 2022 is possible to do that if, I can really do it. I mean they are not easy to do and I need my parents approval first so that they will not worried to me. I am now 21 years old and turning 22 next year and I hope that they will allow me to do the things that I want because right now I'm not happy and satisfied because i'm just staying at home even if I am earning here. I want to learn too and workhard more.

If I am just rich, I will not become problematic to my future. But since I am born to a simple family, I need to work hard and learn from my own. Because I don't like to live being depends to my Parents. I don't like to be chained inside the cage because I like to spread my own wings and fly slowly so I am hoping that I can able to do that things next year.

How about you? What are your plans for next year?

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