I Will Change Myself For Myself
I did; actually, I always did. I changed for some reason. I knew that what I am now wasn't me from the past. There was a time when I didn't want to be like myself of yesterday. But not always, like a tiger once freed from nature and brought to a cage. The wild instinct is still un there; even well trained and well behaved, something will trigger the lion to roar and become aggressive and cruel. It's not that all the time I am good; often, I am evil. Why should I hide it? Then everyone was surprised without any expectations? I changed; I always did.
In the beginning, I wanted to say sorry for most of my thought from the month-long was too many negatives; how could I write happy reviews if I am not. Sometimes I just hide things by making fictitious thoughts instead. That's nature so let it might be moved along.
Do you know why I am afraid to be in a relationship right now? Because I was worried that the tiger I mentioned would break its chains one day, the animal would come outside and attack someone. This is reality; I do not belong to the good boy you could encounter; I was the worst back then. I am selfish and arrogant, and more than ever, I was messed up. Just that I changed, maybe or kind of like that.
Yesterday things became messed up, and someone added the tension. I hate to be blamed for the record; who wanted it. That's what triggered me to open the cage of the wild lion. When someone accused me not think if I was the one or if I must be to be blamed. You never knew me, that for sure. Even people who knew me well, I never think they genuinely one. I liked to hide things; that was the thing that hadn't changed.
The thing was just colliding in my head last night; I can't focus on something. Instead, I just freshened things out in the middle of the stars. The night was so cozy, though I am thankful that the mood of the skies gives me comfort. Bring my noise-cancellation earphone, but the sound is the highest, and just listen to music instead. That was relaxing; the tiger inside me slept for some time. I continue just swinging the cradle under the mango tree, riding for mosquitoes won't bite me.
I am not alone; I will never be alone. Tons of dogs are sleeping and resting beside me. One of them also jumps up to mine. This is the one that I love; I don't feel alone when my dogs are around. That's the feeling some never had.
Does Really Praying Help?
While relaxing, I was focused on one picture on social media.
The picture was too deep. I am not against religion, but sometimes common thinking leads to more than the easy act, isn't it?. This captured my attention; just looking at the pictures tells a story that I think we could really relate to. The story is about reality in a simple illustration.
I often heard a lot of this; sometimes, they have been said to be. "Pray," they all said. But sometimes it's not what we need. Don't judge me by opening this unto you guys. Imagine someone confesses that they had an emotional problem and the answer is "Pray for it," but the fact is that we always do that; it feels like others weren't hearing the prayers; instead of saying, "Just pray," why not help them by what they need?.
Sometimes I understand others not looking for a topic similar to this one; others might judge them as Atheist. I am not an atheist nor have a problem with them; it is just an issue I would like to cover up a picture of.
Our pastor knows the answer; I remember this one had been answered by him.
Have you seen the issue? Sometimes we don't know what was they need, or we don't understand what much need to give? A religious man will say, "Brother, pray for it," but the actual and cared man says, "Brother, have this." It's a manner of understanding the real problem and not too much giving too many scripted answers. I believed not all issues had the solution that is praying".
I hope you get what I am saying; this question wasn't wrong or contemplating others' beliefs; this topic was all about enhancing what we believed.
We cant help them by just saying "Pray for it" or offering words of exhortation. Let's also look for what they really need at the moment.
I never advised someone to just pray if they are in need. I often told them to pray if they have someone to talk to or to trust. In terms of physical needs, I never even think that I can get good points in heaven if I lend some help. I just act willingly on my own without even thinking anything or having second thoughts about it.