Rigid fathers
I don't know about other climes but in my parts of the world, it's almost certain that in every household, the children fear their father more than their mother and that's if they were ever afraid of their mother.
A typical african child somewhat look up to his father as a second god. Even though a child might adores his father, there's this special reverence and awe he accords to him.
Sometimes it depends on the upbringing, Me and my dad could talk and laugh for hours as if we were agemates. There was a day a friend from school came over to our house and found me and dad in a hot debate. She was was so shocked that she kept looking on, with mouth agape as if she was staring at magic. When we were eventually left alone, she said that she was disappointed in me for behaving in such a disrespectful manner towards my father.
Well, I only smiled at her and replied that my dad never believed in inspiring fear into the hearts of his children. He saw us more like his friends and confidantes rather than his children. It was my turn to be shocked when she told me that she always addresses her father with "Sir", whenever she wants to speak to him. I saw this as more of a General/corporal association than a father/child relationship. .. I guess I was among the lucky few.
Maybe it's a cultural thing, most African dads do not publicly display affection towards their children, even if they love them to death. No doubt, a father would openly show his love for his five year old son and would site on him in public . But it always appear as if the older a child grows( especially a male ) , the more emotionally detached he would be from his father even when there's a mutual love and respect between the two.
As a matter of fact, apart from the movies, I have never seen where a father had embraced his grown up son, not even at an airport terminal. Its always the mother and the sisters doing all the hugging. An handshake is about closest thing a grown up son would get from his father while he bows down a little in an attempt of showing respect. Our mothers always have a thousand hugs to give since a mother's embrace always renews the exceeding love and devotion that both mother and child share.
And when the closeness between mother and son becomes too much, the father might start getting uncomfortable and would begin to blame the mother for the child's misbehavior in the future. So, it is always preferabletl that a father should always handle his children with strictness, discipline and sometimes, a heavy hand lest they become "spoilt" by the too much emotional attachment from the mom. If not, his son might grow up into a "weak man" in the future.
I believe this mentality is also common to some other cultures . I have read interviews about some world famous businessmen and celebrities who admitted that their fathers indirectly instilled in them the aggressive determination and discipline to chase their dreams even though they were not in the best relationship with their fathers.
A growing child can't afford portray disobedience in front of his dad. A responsible father rarely barks at his children, but when he does, you'd know that there's alot of serious trouble coming your way pretty soon. Infact when an African dad sneezes, the whole house trembles . But a mother could continue to scream at her kids all day and they would happily continue to fool around.
You could apologize to your mom after deliberately doing something silly and still be certain that Mom would forgive you immediately. She always does, so long as she's still alive to remember those days she have carried you inside her for nine months and breastfed you for two years.
And as life would have it, the sacrifices of a mother are much more appreciated even though pops sacrificed as much if not more. Maybe because a mother always bunch up with the children all day. Hence her love, care and labors are more manifest than that of the father who is not always seen at home. Hence in old age, mothers are more celebrated than fathers by to their children. This I have observed in my clime.
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Thanks fir reading.💖💖
Some fathers are just so strict at their children even though they love them but will not want to show it. Some believes that they are instilling courage to the child while some fathers won´t even have an iota of love at all. My mom have hugged me many times while I only kneel to greet dad but now, the way we chat is always fun and interesting since Mom died.