Parenting

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Written by
2 years ago

I got the idea to write about after reading an article by ARTicLEE. I have read stories about children turning out a certain way because of how they were neglected by their parents while they were growing up. I am not an expert at parenting or raising a child, but I am still going to write about it anyway.

I never really understood how important and delicate parenting and childhood is until I had to do some research for a group assignment 3 years ago, in my sophomore year in the university. You see, I remember being grumpy about the topic my group had been given at the time because we were supposed to write extensively and give a presentation on the said topic.

While doing my research to come up with something substantial that I can compile and do a presentation on, I came across a lot of things involved in parenting and psychology of child development (Paiget's stages of development and Erikson’s stages of psychosocial development).

Reading all these things was an eye opener for me, and it is sad to say that a lot of people don’t know these things. Of course these are just theories, and theories like this are not necessarily universal. What I mean is: people can be oblivious of these things and still raise their kids the way they can and yet do excellently well. The only flaw in this rating is that a parent is often judged based on how their children turn out.

What I am trying to say is that one can have no moral values and that does not necessarily mean their parents have done a terrible job, it could be a conscious decision of said child to ignore all the morals his or her parent(s) have tried to instill in him. And of course, it can be the other way around too, a person might have moral values and be good and it may not necessarily be because of good parenting, but a conscious decision by the child to tow a just and right path.

Parents, especially rich parents have often made the mistake of neglecting their children. Of course, the reason usually is because they spend a lot of time away from home, either travelling on business trips, or working long hours. Usually in cases like this, the rich parents employ the services of house helps, nannies or babysitters to take care of their child(ren) in their absence.

While I don’t condemn this act, I will fault it if for no other reason, for the mere fact that you have created a problem by putting a middleperson between you and your child(ren). This middleperson often is the one who serve as the link between a parents and their children. Thus, creating unfavourable grounds for parent-child bonding.

The first step to good parenting I’d say is a good parent-child relationship. How can a child open up about his/her life to a parent who is like a stranger? How can you as a parent instill good value into a child with whom you don’t have a good relationship with? By no means am I saying parents shouldn’t work to provide a better life for their family, but is it wise to do so at the expense of the same family you want to provide for?

I have heard stories of children who come from a rich family blame their parents for how they turn out, simply because they were never there when they needed a parent, you would also hear these rich kids talk about how their parents only splash money at everything. It isn’t about giving them all the money in the world. Sometimes, it is the little love and being there when they need you. A simply pat on the back to say that I am here, a hug, a smile for reassurance, it is these little things that makes the biggest difference.

I have said at the beginning of this article that I am not an expert at parenting, neither do I have it all figured out. I am not even a parent yet, neither am I married even, but I don’t know what the future holds, and this is merely how I feel about parenting. I feel family has a big role to play in the society, as it is the basic unit of the society, and to effect real change in the society, we have to start from the family.

Thank You For Reading 🖤🖤

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Written by
2 years ago

Comments

HAHA as a parent I never think my child as a child always. Maybe when she grow more I think she is more matured than me, she's a smart girl. I sometimes treat her as a best friend not my daughter, so funny that sometime she called me "Mama" and the same time "ate" . I want to grow her a parent and God fearing one. So I tried my whole best to do my part.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

It is good to hear that. I know your efforts won't be in vain

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2 years ago

In my own understanding, I think most parent do not have an idea of the psychology of children and the theories involved in taking care of a child and best understanding him or her. Looking at Erikson´s psychosocial development, they are well illustrated in the stages of child´s development and how best they can be dealt with in a manner of parenting.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

That's quite true and if one was to follow the stages one after the other, they might achieve good results. Like I said, the problem with social theories is that they are not exactly the same for every individual

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2 years ago

Yeah parenting a child takes time and resources which will either make or break the child depending on how you go about it. Other things influencing the outvoming of parenting a child are the child's personality and the society

$ 0.02
2 years ago

absolutely correct, I agree with what you have said

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2 years ago

It all begins at home, reinforced by the society and the environment where children grow up. I am no parent either so I have not much to say :)

$ 0.02
2 years ago

hehehe. i have no doubt about you, I am sure you and FarmBoy will make good parents

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2 years ago

Parents do their job in parenting while the kids also do their job in growing up right and both sides have to fulfil their ends. If a parent is mostly absent, the child might not be able to grow in the right path and there are children who still go bad despite having good and present parents

$ 0.01
2 years ago

i agree, there are many ways it can turn out, irrespective of the circumstances

$ 0.00
2 years ago

The society are quick to blame the parents whenever a child turns out wayward but sometimes, the society are also part of the problem. Some children are trained well by their parents and behave correctly at home but as soon as they are exposed to the society, they bring out their dark side

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Yes, that's true. But what is strong is strong and if your values are strong, it shouldn't be trumped easily

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2 years ago

Parenting is really a serious responsibility of the parents especially the mother.. Forming child's character is very essential but when this child grew up, they will have their own choices.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Very true Jen, when they become adults, they can make their own choices

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2 years ago

Yes, and parents should not be blame on how they behave because they have their own decisions to follow or not the teaching of their parents

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2 years ago

Agreed, but parents too have their role to guide them in the right path

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2 years ago

Yes, forming the child character is in the hands of the parents

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2 years ago

I agree with everything you said, especially the need for a good relationship between parents and their children so that they become good children.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Thank you Lara

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2 years ago

Yup in some cases where parents live away from children, they are used as a third wheel. And children are far more intelligent than what we think. They catch and pick things more in thier childhood than in adulthood and noticing all the missed love and care creates a bad mindest for them. It's best not to produce a baby when you can't give much time to them.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Very much agree with your input

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Parents play the integral or crucial part as their children grow older. During their childhood stage, age 1-5, the parents should be present in teaching values despite of many works to do. The children could feel that they are important. We don't entrust all our responsibilities to our nannies. That would become our failure.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

I agree. Parents should be there for their children especially at that tender age

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2 years ago

Sometimes, the problem with the relationship between parents and children are actually done by parents. Yes all they want is to give their children a better future and I can't blame them, but they forgot that their children also needs them, their attention which they neglected the most. Children silently fight for their battle alone as none of their parents are present to listen and comfort them. I'm actually sad as I am also a parent. I also want to give my son a better future and I'm worried that I might not be on his side once he needed me the most, but I wish it won't happen.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

It is okay to feel that way. It is good that you are thinking about it, it simply means that you'll find a way out of the dilemma, I believe you will

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2 years ago

And such parents leave their children to be raised by a maid. While children needs their parents and their love, not a money.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

True, children need love

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2 years ago

Parents are supposed to show intimacy to their child. Parents should really express how much they care and love for their children. In that way, children will feel that they are valued, loved, and appreciated.

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2 years ago

Very true, they need to feel love to know how to love too

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I don't think it's a good idea to have children when you're not ready for them because taking care of your children should even be much more stress than your daily work

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2 years ago

I agree that we should only have kids when we are ready. And true, parenting can be tedious

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2 years ago

Yeah, that's how it's meant to be. I'm glad we're on the same page at this

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2 years ago

If only we can choose who should be allowed to have kids :D We may not be parents yet but we have been kids once. While there is no rule in parenting, there is a general sense of treating kids right with kindness and love and all that and not all about material things and money.

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2 years ago

I agree, children have inquisitive minds and ask a lot of questions. Parents should establish a good relationship with their children, so they can be the ones these questions are directed to, thus, answering them as best as they can.

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2 years ago

You are right with your findings. Parents need to spend quality time with their children.

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2 years ago

Thank you for coming by, I appreciate your input

$ 0.00
2 years ago