She taught me a lesson

Cars
I never liked cars. Cars make me feel sick and they do not smell nice. Dogs make the car feel smell worse too. If I sit at the back the dogs sit behind me. Why do dogs always smell out of their mouth? Monty does and Soot too although Soot likes driving around. My mother takes him with her once in a while if she visits clients. He stays in the car and watches. He is big and black and barks at strangers. Perhaps he makes her feel safe? He likes her so he isn't my dog. He only was at the time I was sick and had to stay in bed. I think it was measles but I am not sure. Perhaps it was rubella or scarlet fever.
Today I am on my way to my granny. I think it was long ago I wrote to her and she wrote to me. We are only pen-pals if she stays in hospital not if she is back home. I saved her letter and read them so I remember what she tells me and hope she is fine.
Do you know what is weird? If she writes to me she's a different person than when I visit her with my parents. She hardly speaks with me and it's boring to just sit and have nothing to do. I never know what the grownups are talking about so I took a book with me. My uncle's comics I only read if I stay with her during the holidays. The comics are from my favourite uncle but he no longer lives with her. He is married now too. He has nice eyes and a soft voice never speaks much. He was in the army just like my dad and granddad but now he no longer is. I watched the houses and trees passing by till I fell asleep. I heard my mothers voice. She doesn't want me to sleep in the car. I have to sit straight up. The seatbelts hurt me and I feel sick and thirsty but eating and drinking are not allowed in the car either. No sleeping, no eating, no drinking, no vomiting, no talking...

Wednesday
May 26, 2021


Cats
Auntie, the one who tells me about the three piglets, has cats. She has two but I forgot their names. One is black and the other has a lot of hair and a flat face. Because his face is flat he cannot eat out of a bowl. She told me that is not right. The breeder did it. I don't know who the breeder is I just know she can walk with them on a leash. Once as she visited us I could let them out. They came along just like our dogs but I think it's weird. I never saw someone let his cat out only dogs. Once I did saw a lady letting a goat out with her dogs. They all walked on the sidewalk. The white goat followed the dogs and was the biggest.

At times the cats stay on grandmother's ceiling. If I stay with her I go over there to feed them. Our dogs go to someone if my parents leave abroad. If Auntie leaves the cats to go to grandmother. She doesn't like them but doesn't say no. Auntie has a boyfriend now and perhaps they will get married. I am not sure but I think this will be if he finished his study. Auntie works she is a teacher. My mother works too because my dad does not and we always need money. I don't know how much money but I think it's a lot because my mother always talks about money. My parents fight about it, grandpa gave her money as he was still alive and my socks are darned because we have no money to buy new ones. If you cannot buy socks you cannot buy a cat. At the pet shop, they sell cats and dogs but our dogs are not sold at a shop. My mother knows the people where our dogs are born. Monty is a hunting dog but my parents don't hunt and I don't think Monty can't. He is gentle and scared of bad weather.

Thursday
May 27, 2021


Coffee
I watched commercials about coffee on television. Van Nelle and Douwe Egberts. I like the 'Van Nelle' commercial about laughing people on a boat. It's the kind of boat Etta has. She lives on it too. She can not sail away with it, it's for living only.
I never drink coffee. Coffee is for grown-ups. They drink a cup at 10 a.m. and one cup at 7 p.m. My grandmother grinds the beans. She has no coffee machine. She uses a coffee filter and the ground coffee goes into it. Next, she pours tiny bits of boiled water and makes whipped frothy warm milk. Some of her cups are 'Royal Albert' too just like we have at home.
Granny has a coffee machine and buys bottles of coffee milk. I have no idea what coffee milk is but it's not the same as the milk I drink. If people drank coffee they smell different too just like smokers and the dogs. They don't smell nice.  I don't like to kiss people especially not if they smell. Grownups smell. All the different smells make me dizzy. Cigarettes are the worst and next comes my mother and number three are her petticoats if I iron them. No! They are number one. The smell is the same as hers only a hundred times stronger.

Friday
May 28, 2021


Camp
It was cleaning the house and after that walking again. I don't know where we have been but like I said I do not like cars and my feet always hurt. Each time I have blisters and my toes keep hurting. Busses are cars too. How come no one cares how I feel? Am I the only one feeling sick in a car?
Gymnastics will have a summer camp. I am still not good at it and will never be but I go to that camp. I am not sure if that will be fun. The bullies will go too and I don't want to sleep in a tent with them. On the other hand, I have no choice and my mother is a bully too. So it's one big bully or a bunch of tiny bullies. All yelling, scratching, pulling my hair and hating me.

Saturday
May 29, 2021

Cramps
I frequently have cramps. They are in my belly and toe. Those in my toe are different from my tummy but both are painful and continue for hours. If in my toe it goes to my foot and next to my leg. I try to ignore it but it's hard because it hurts.

Sunday
May 30, 2021


Careful
I didn't come to writing last week. I have to be careful. My mother has a terrible mood and keeps following me and checking me out. She sneaks up on me and searches for something to punish me with. She always finds something and if she will make me do the same thing over and over again for hours. She never tells my dad or does it if he is around. If he is home she lets him beat me. The housekeeper knows unless she is blind and deaf but she is not. She drives a moped and can read the booklet my mother wrote about how to clean the house. I watched her and know she doesn't do it the way my mother wants it but I am not going to tell it. It will make my mother mad and after she scolded at the housekeeper she will make me do it and hits me with the whip or dog's chain again.
The weather looks nice outside. If I turn around in my bef and sit on my knees I can look behind the curtain outside the window. The dogs are outside and have more fun than me. They walk through the garden and Monty searches for the tulip bulbs. He likes to eat them. I am not going to tell that to my mother either. I see if I can close the holes he dug without her noticing it.  Not today but tomorrow if she takes the chains away. If I don't do it she will punish me too. Everything that happens here, goes wrong is a good reason for her to teach me a lesson. That's what she says: I teach you a lesson. I don't know what lesson but it's a lesson.

I thought about it. I think the lesson is that animals have a better life than me.

Sunday
June 6, 2021

A kid's diary

It isn't gold for real
https://read.cash/@wakeupkitty/it-int-gold-for-real-9ed1fe16

God doesn't want you to be happy
https://read.cash/@wakeupkitty/god-doesnt-want-you-to-be-happy-045edf7c

I don't hate Monday's
https://read.cash/@wakeupkitty/i-dont-hate-mondays-ad9f6dc1

She made me count thrums
https://read.cash/@wakeupkitty/she-made-me-count-thrums-af67cf7c

#kittywu #diary #childhood