First You Suffer, Then You Become Famous
I was listening to a podcast on fairy tales and as the narrator shared the backstory of Hans Christian Anderson, his quote to his Mum before he left to be an actor got me thinking.
“I’ll become famous! First you suffer cruelly, and then you become famous.”
Many times, I have read and heard that suffering makes you more creative. You need the pain to be artistic. More the suffering, better the work of art. Whether it be a painting or a song or a story. So, does grief make you a genius?
On her site, psychotherapist, Mihaela Ivan Holtz, presents it the other way around. That “life struggles, depression, anxiety, creativity, relationships, PTSD, and addictions" can be released through a creative outlet. Therefore, when you are sad, the process of immersing yourself in writing, singing, acting, painting is one way to find closure or at least numb the pain.
Hans Christen Andersen was born into poverty, his parents a shoemaker and a washerwoman. Then he lost his father when he was 11, who he was close to. By 14, he decided he wanted to be an actor but was unsuccessful.
However, luck was on his side when a Royal Theater director recognised his talent for stories and funded his education. But then he was bullied to the extent he had to finish his schooling with a private tutor.
Living in poverty then going on to be with the rich elite inspired The Little Mermaid. His struggle to fit in inspired The Ugly Duckling.
Just to test this out, let's pick some random famous people. Based on this theory, these people had some type of suffering in their life that may have sparked creativity. Let's see if it is true.
**Beethoven**: as a child, he was beaten by his abusive alcoholic father.
**Robin Williams**: bullied in school, was an introvert, and lonely because both his parents worked. Even as one of the greatest actors and comedians of our time, he battled with addiction and then depression and eventually gave in, taking his own life.
**Oprah Winfrey**: As a child, she'd been beaten bloody for little things, and was sexually assaulted at 14, got pregnant and thrown out of her house by her mother.
**Elon Musk**: He was an awkward child, and his father was emotionally abusive. He was also bullied and beaten up in school, once so bad that he landed in the hospital.
There are more famous people who had d Children who fought their demons and some into their adulthood. So I went in search of happy childhoods of famous and talented people. Still searching...
If you know of happy kids who grew up to be brilliant in their field, drop their names won't you? There's so much research on the power of stress to make us more creative but not enough of the opposite. Aiks!!
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Fact Source 1 * Fact Source 2 * Fact Source 3 http://www.vh1.com/news/239439/hollywood-celebrities-tragic-childhood/ https://www.thefamouspeople.com/profiles/robin-mclaurim-williams-2733.php https://www.businessinsider.com/elon-musks-childhood-was-excruciating-2015-5
When?!
When the news of the virus first hit headlines, I was in the midst of getting ready to go on a trip across the country as a volunteer for an international bicycle race, Le Tour De Langkawi.
It would cover 7 states, and had cyclists from all over the world. I was part of the Hotel and FnB Team and our job was to make sure the rooms for all cyclists and personnel was ready when they arrived, as well as rooms for the medical team, admin and bicycle storage.
The cyclist had strict diets and there were some Must-have's and some definite No's. Carbs before they start their race, nothing spicy, no fish with bones and nothing too exotic.
As the cyclists started arriving from all over the world, I saw what was to come but did not think much of it. Temperatures had to be taken, forms had to be filled and this made the process long and cumbersome, but I could walk from room to lobby without a mask.
And then, we find out that the next state for the 2nd leg would not allow the team from China in. So, on top of all the other challenges of getting it right, we had this new challenge to navigate.
That was in February 2020. And here we are, 16 months later with nothing to show for all the restrictions, SOPs and lockdowns.
We are in one right now with no definite date in sight. The markers are below 4k cases daily, ICU capacity at moderate levels and at least 10% of the population fully vaccinated (3.2M) for restrictions to be relaxed.
So many have lost jobs, shut down their businesses, pay cuts, no pay leave, struggles with online school, suicides, domestic violence.
Initially, I was good. It slowed down my very busy life. I learnt to cook more and got better at it. I liked having The Hubs around, I appreciated not being stuck in traffic while fetching and ferrying the kids from school and their activities.
But now I am done on so many levels. I have already eaten into my savings and beyond. The kids seem to be okay hanging out at home, but it's sad to see them just sitting or lying down most of the time when they used to be so active in sports and the performing arts. The Hubs who is in the production/performing arts business is barely hanging on by a thread.
I have read enough to know, that this is not going to go away completely. Just like the flu, we will just have to do the necessary to keep it at bay. I cannot wait for us to get back to a quality of life that's bearable, to begin with.
Who would have thought that going for a walk as a family would be out of the question in 2021? Who would have expected visiting a parent who lived 20km away would get you fined? Who would have thought seeing a smile in person would be rare? Ish!!!
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Code Switching
The world is closing in on us. It surely is becoming a smaller place, and now with the internet, and over half the world owning a mobile phone, with many willing to share their lives, experiencing another's world is accessible. We are becoming global citizens and sometimes we unintentionally adapt and adopt another's beliefs, thoughts and even accents.
This brings me to **Code** **Switching**. I had watched Singapore Social, which is a reality show of sorts, based in Singapore that was aired on Netflix. To be honest, you could tell the production was a kind of stunted compared to the other reality shows out there. No surprise though, Asians are a little more reserved about airing their dirty laundry.
https://goggler.my/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/41SSO-PROsdp_na_19_en.jpg
As I was googling about the cast and the show to find out a little bit more about them, I read comments and watched videos where the casts' accents were being called out and expectations on how they should sound. I found this a little uninformed as Singapore, just like my country Malaysia (we are neighbours by the way) are a multiracial, multicultural, multilingual country.
To break it down, and I will use myself as an example. Malaysia (and Singapore, as once upon a time we were together before the separation in 1965) was under British rule. So, there is British influence including the education system.
However, when it comes to TV and radio, it is the American culture that infiltrated homes. In that alone, there is a confluence of American and British.
English was seen as a language that was going to give you a leg up for success. My parents spoke to me in English, scolded me in my mother tongue. And this is quite common in my country. It is not something to be proud of per se, but many of us can't speak our mother tongue and sometimes even our national language as well as English. *We are told off by the older generation*.
In my family, there are a few of us who married foreigners and live in a foreign country, their accent is different, and if they were to come back to stay here, this is the accent they will bring home.
So, to have expectations of everyone sounding the same is strange especially if you live in this country. It is so mixed up here, you just never know what to expect. Even within the local languages, there are so many different dialects and accents, that sometimes even the locals don't get it.
Don't be surprised, if you overhear friends at the coffee shop, converse in a mash-up of languages. Words get mixed up and slip in very easily into sentences that make sense - to us. You can catch someone speaking in 4 languages in one sentence, and dare I say, you are not going to find this in any other country (*just here in Malaysia and probably Singapore*).
For example:
***"Annei! Satu teh-tarik! Ta Pau Please!"***
👉 **Annei!** is Big Brother in Tamil/Indian, which is one way to address staff at a restaurant.
👉 **Satu** means One in Malay, which is our National Language
👉 **Teh-Tarik** means Pulled Tea in Malay.
👉 **Ta Pau** means to pack/to go in Chinese
👉 **Please**... well you know this one - English.
So, if you ever make a trip here, be prepared to bump into locals who speak perfect English, in an accent, and be absolutely oblivious of it.
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The Book That Changed Me
In my teens, I found myself with questions I couldn't find the answers to. Not the science kind, but more the religious/spiritual kind. The more I asked of those in the know around me, the more non-answers I got that led me to more questions. I started to look for answers outside my inner circle.
This search continued into my adult life, and one day through a housemate heard about The Celestine Prophecy. Together we went to the bookstore but it was not in stock and we had to put in an order. Hmmm, I was sceptical and wasn't sure if I wanted to cough up money to confirm the order when I couldn't even flip through the pages before deciding. But I did.
Two weeks later, I received the book and got ready to read, not expecting anything really. I highlighted sentences, I dwelled on chapters and slowly but surely, there was a shift in me. The ideas and concepts tweaked my interest and I wanted to understand it more which led me to read more books on the subject.
A work of fiction published in 1993, written by James Redfield, it tells the story of one man's spiritual journey, as he finds his way to the Divine. He presents nine insights from an ancient manuscript discovered in Peru in 600BC.
The book came under heavy criticism, some branded it a New Age waste of time. They thought it far fetched, lacked conviction and uninspiring. However, for me, the story got me thinking and exploring. I began to read and question things in the universe and around me. The book made me grow as a person.
My thoughts, ideas and understanding of circumstances around me began to alter. I became more aware of people and situations. I began to see the strings that connected seemingly unrelated events. I started looking beyond my bubble. I got into the habit of allowing, giving space to more than what's on the surface. I questioned and was open to listening to answers that were unfamiliar.
I believed that everything was energy and I could manoeuvre and guide, the very thing that The Secret introduced to the world a few years later. It was our focus, belief and energy entwined that created outcomes and situations.
I started pulling back on the blame game and playing the victim. I took back my power and stopped giving that responsibility to another. On the other hand, when I played villain, I was able to catch myself.
Have I reached my inner peace? Just call me a work in progress. A journey as I make a conscious effort at being mindful of my thoughts and actions. I do drift away sometimes, but am able to catch myself. There's a calm knowing there's a bigger picture. It enables me to take a step back and look at what's really going on. If not immediately, in due time.
I would suggest this book to anyone who wants to expand the way you see the world. However, if you are religious in your given faith, you may not enjoy the book, as it will challenge what you believe. So, if you are in a good place, leave it be but if you are looking for some answers, perhaps it is here in this book, The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield.
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Keep Going (I Wrote This In The Dark)
No, it is not the lockdowns, it isn’t the fear of catching the virus or the fickleness of getting the vaccine. It's this feeling of an indefinite nothingness. The ever-moving finish line.
Losing my job before retirement age, kicked off a downward spiral. However, I didn’t notice it at first - caught up with taking care of Mum who was very sick. In fact, losing my job gave me the opportunity to be her primary caregiver. Shuttling between the kids and mum, I was lucky if I got two hours of sleep in a day. But once she grew her angel wings and flew off to frolic in the clouds - that's when I started to feel the drag.
After Mum left, there was a void in my life. She was such a big part of it, she was my rock, my voice of reason, my support. It was also tough to see her body and mind wither away. I had questions but the answers were not satisfactory. Maybe it takes great loss to bring up these questions - What's the meaning of life? Why are we here?
I started getting a little muddled in the head. It happened slow and steady, chipping away at my resolve. All the things I picked up from Mum and the way she lived her life - the never say die attitude she practised proudly... in fact, I wondered if it was that which took her away too soon?
Now with all the doom and gloom, pay cuts chipping away at savings, families locked in (at least we are together and my Dad's my neighbour), a constant reminder that the virus is going to get you, it really showcases how fragile Life really is.
How do you deal with this not knowing? And losing motivation and hope? I already have heard the faith and belief chants, I was even raised on it. However, I grapple for more. Not just a belief but more an acceptance. Of knowing, that all the curveballs are the way life works. I will have to manoeuvre as I go along, and just because I hit a bump, it's not the end of the journey. You just change gears and keep going.
So mum may not be here, but I still hear her voice loud and clear. Every time, I got a little shaky on intention, she'd just casually ask "Why cannot?" until I couldn't come up with a sane argument not to.
I do have fears and even resentment sometimes. I wonder why this or how that. But I have learnt to catch myself in time before I get caught in the quicksand of despair. I practice gratitude for all the things I already have to shake off that bad feeling. Sometimes it is a stretch because that negative dog can bark really loud, far louder than the positive one, but staying focused on what I want to hear helps. The worst thing to do is dwell on what I don’t want.
I have friends who I can lean on and talk an ear off, and I am grateful for that. Half the time, just talking about it helps me find the answers. The other half is when I write it out like right now and hear that voice "Why cannot?"
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Time: 10 minutes
Prompt: Keep Going
Who's Keeping Score?
A few years back, I had enrolled the kids in a Performing Arts workshop. As part of the Graduation ceremony, the kids had to perform what they had learnt. It was cuteness overload with the little ones performing synchronised dance moves and reciting nursery rhymes. The older ones had to perform short skits and monologues they had written. Those were more like truth bombs with teen angst thrown into the mix.
One of the monologues hit hard. An original titled "Who's Keeping Score?"
The first line was "I got 5A's and 1B and Mum says what did you get the B for?"
FACT - Asian parenting includes sky-high expectations. Just as the parents bend backwards to give the kids all tools to win the race, they expect the kids to cross that finish line, not only first but break some records along the way.
I may be exaggerating, or perhaps not. Maybe things have mellowed down some with modern-day parenting, but it still exists in variations and levels.
Here, academics are super important and above anything else. For those who can afford it, their children are sent to International schools that cost an arm and a leg. Those on the borderline of money will sacrifice accordingly for the best education possible.
And if all else fails and their kids have to succumb to the failings of national schools and uninspired teachers, then it is tuition after school to make up for the missing pieces. And to add to that, bring in the workbooks, for there is no such thing as too much study time.
Of course, by now we know that academics alone isn't going to cut it. , so extracurricular activities are squeezed in, especially sports. Anything to add the Wow-Factor to Uni applications to put the child 3 steps ahead of everyone else.
The sad part is, not all kids can cope. There are just one too many stories of kids, unable to handle the pressure, giving in to it in the worst possible way. Kids who take their lives as young as 12 because that first "big" exam looming at the end of the year is just too much. Or if the results of said exams are not the straight A's expected. Depression amongst the young is on high alert at schools.
For the last couple of years, the education ministry has been trying to make the system holistic in its approach. But when they introduced it, teachers, parents and students couldn't see the good in it.
How will they be assessed now? What were they thinking about getting rid of exams in primary school? How will the kids know their progress? How will parents be able to help the kids reach "their" goals?
A couple of years back, we were told that students will not be segregated according to their achievements. Parents were up in arms during report card day. Students were crying, unable to understand how all their hard work of achieving straight A's still put them in the "lowest" class? And all of this in primary school. Even before they are officially teens.
Things were still a work in progress and then the lockdowns happened. Right now things are awry, and quite a few exams had been cancelled. What will happen when things go back to normal? Will they be able to have a syllabus that is encompassing more than just academics moving forward? Will the teachers be prepared? Will the parents be accepting and ready to encourage a generation that is currently in limbo? Will the students excel to be more rounded adults?
What about me? Of course, I want to equip my children with all I can. Times are tough and I would love for them to have the extra tools to combat life and I do my best to give them the best within my capacity. Have I asked them about that one "B"? I have - after the celebrations of the A's. Not aggressively, but in subtle ways to find out if there was anything I could have done to help. If there's anything they could have done to achieve it.
I do not expect straight A's but I won't lie, the Mummy peer pressure can be tough. I do catch myself when I feel myself spiralling down the rabbit hole of achievements and focus on encouraging them to do their best and supporting them through their not-so-bests.... Sometimes it can be frustrating, but most times I give thanks to the somewhat decent teens under my roof :D
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Prompt: Who's Keeping Score
Time: 10 minutes
Between Covid & Blood Clot
I am sitting here a little stunned but mostly incredulous.
With the Astra Zeneca vaccine brouhaha, countries either banning or putting it on hold, people in my country were shocked that the gov was going ahead and bringing it in anyways. Well, at first...
**Oh, what deal did he make?**
**He must be pocketing a lot of money from it?**
**It is all political!**
When it was shelved the nation let out a sigh of relief. We didn't have to choose between covid and blood clot anymore.
A few days later, there was an Opt-In for AZ announcement. Surely, no one would be interested right? But when registration started, boom, within 4 hours, slots were gone.
Wait! What?! There were people not afraid of AZ? There were people willing to take the chance? The blood clot possibility did not scare the bejeebers out of them?
I know friends, close friends who signed up. They along with local celebrities and public figures started posting social media updates. They brought their viewers along with them to experience the vaccine journey, took pictures and videos to share, gave tips and advice for those going in after them.
Then there was talk of another batch to be released for round two of Opt-In. This time it was split into two by age. First for those over 60 and three days later, under 60.
Dad wanted in as he had missed his first appointment earlier in the month. Also, with his siblings signing up and taking their shots, he didn't want to wait for the callback (after his miss of the first appointment for Pfizer). We had another chat about AZ, I explained everything I knew of it and then with him wanting to go ahead anyways, helped sign him up 4 hours after registration opened. It was a breeze.
But when they opened registration for the under 60, there was chaos. First, it was announced registration would open at noon on 26th May. Then on the day, it was reannounced registration will start at 12.15.
The Hubs wanted to sign up and was on standby. In fact, he wanted in the first time around but did not expect slots to be grabbed within 4 hours and by the time he came home to ask me if I would be ok with it, it was over.
He sat at the kitchen table and tried to get in on the action. Went through different stages on the app with it hanging or getting kicked out. Then he'd start again and did that for over an hour until he was slapped with a **no-more-slots!** Out of luck again...
After that, it was announced, that there will be no more opt-ins and the remaining AZ will now be included with the rest of the vaccines in our NIP (National Covid-19 Immunisation Programme).
Now, that I've told you how the acceptance of the AZ went down in my country, let me tell you about the people I personally know who, through all my conversations kept saying **No to AZ**. Ok, one in particular.
The theories and news that she had read. Then her doctor friends and family members had said this and that. I will not repeat the things I was told because surely now that she had gone ahead and registered for the opt-in, it is redundant.
I was amused that she was so excited that she managed to get a slot. Apparently, she had been on stand-by and kept refreshing the page until she got through. Even lunch was shelved for it. After getting through, she tells me that it was like striking a lottery.
*Huh!! Wait! Weren't you the same person who was convinced that you were going to wait? You wanted others to take theirs first so you can see how it plays out. You were prepared to not travel for the next three years if it came to that. That you were shocked that our country was going ahead with the AZ even after all they knew about the blood clots. Your "trusted sources" have told you that there are better ones coming and you will wait till year-end if need be.*
*The last time we talked which was just a couple of days back, you were like NOT Me. And now you are celebrating like you won the lottery?! That flipped fast!!*
Oh well. I am happy for her. Maybe her trusted sources had come back with more information... who knows. I did not ask, because apart from putting her on the defensive, it didn't really serve a purpose. It's done.
I did want to let it off my chest though, and I know she isn't on any crypto social media platforms. I do want to keep her as my bestie :D Besides, she isn't the only one who flip-flopped. There were so many who were against it and then did a 180°.
FOMO is real. Watching their friends and celebrities sharing their experience on Social Media got them. It even makes me wonder if there was some sort of a plan coz they had IG friendly spots in the centre. And if it was orchestrated to help those who were still shifty and negative to crossover... well done.
Currently, I am waiting to be informed of my slot as and when via NIP. I am okay with waiting and let it take its course. Here's to families who live in different counties, states, districts(as of now) meeting. Video Calls are all good, but nothing like clinking glasses for a real toast, pinching food from each other's plate for a taste, nowhere close to the warmth of a real hug.
So, where are you at with the vaccine? Either way, I'd like to know because where's the fun if I am not feeding my Libran fickleness ;p
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Dazed & Confused
I am just an old dog learning new tricks here. I am still finding my way around the communities and their expectations. Of course, I started with the Freewriting Community, as freewriting is something I am somewhat familiar with.
Ok, I thought I was familiar but not too sure anymore. I have been told point blank that the last post submitted to the Freewriting community is not a freewrite.
Being inspired by some canes I had seen earlier, I set the timer, typed, then fixed typo and grammar and then posted. The post was rejected though. Checking the rules, I guess it could be because I did not use one word for the title. Perhaps instead of going with The Magic Wand That Turns Naughty Kids To Good, I should have just gone with "Cane" or "Magic Wand". That could have been mistake number 1.
Going through the community though, I do see more than one word titles and some posts that add to my confusion.
I am not sure why I got the "Text written in bold is not accepted". Is that a generic comment or directed at my post because I can't see anything in bold. Am I missing something?
Anyways, it is a shame because that post was a freewrite. Or at least, my understanding of it. Which is to type what comes to mind against the timer. Though true, I did mess up with the title. So, I accept. My bad.
I am now wondering, does this post go under Freewriting? I am not even sure anymore. But I am going to try posting it there anyways, in the hopes of getting some answers.
So let me apologise upfront if I am being a pain and also say thank you, for taking the time to read.
I am hoping to get some answers because I do like freewriting. It allows my mind to go places that overthinking does not make space for. I love the freedom it gives to an idea or thought, taking me to places that I had forgotten, and sometimes didn't even know existed.
Let's hope this old dog gets a better idea of expectations so she can be part of this community.
The first time, I posted here on read.cash I got two thumbs down. That time I ran for the hills, licking my wounds. Ok, I am being dramatic or maybe not. It did take me two months to step back in.
This time I am staying so I can understand things better of how things work here. If any of you can help me wrap my head around the best way to do this, I would appreciate it.
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The Magic Wand
I walked into a shop and saw a stack of "rotans" hanging by a shelf!! The magic wand - the cane. I can say I have been on both ends of this infamous disciplinary tool.
The one I remember most from childhood is the day I overstayed at my neighbours'. My parents kept calling out to me over and over. It was getting late, it was time to go home - according to my parents, not me!
So I continued to play and pretended I couldn't hear them.
The neighbour's house close enough for me to hear them and if I peeked through planks that make up the wall, see them too. When I saw Dad coming over with the cane swinging by his side, I knew it was time to make my great escape. To where I don't know, but I wasn't going to be a sitting duck. I ran.
He ran! We went around my neighbour's house a couple of times. Then I lost him. My run slowed down to a jog and then a walk, looking back, looking forward. Where could he be? I could not hear his footsteps anymore and he had stopped calling out to me to stop running.
When I came around to the next corner, I saw Mum standing by the kitchen door asking me to come back. That should have been my cue to go back, but nope. I asked her if Dad was around the next corner. She was standing in a spot where she could see both sides of the house. The one I was at and the one I wanted to step around to. She shook her head and as soon as I took a step to round the corner, whack.
Mum lied!!!
I still find that story hilarious and love sharing it during the family get together. I mean, did I really think I was going to outrun and outwit my Dad.? Besides, what was the plan? I did have to go home eventually and would still have gotten a beating for giving them the run-around.
You might be wondering if I ever used the cane on my kids? But I'd say the walls and furniture got the brunt of it. All I needed to do was to whip it out, when the words didn't work. That's the first part, then I'd start the countdown and like a magic wand, it gets things done. And if they moved too slow I just whack the wall. That sound did the trick.
I once had a conversation with a Dutch colleague, and he told me that he spanked his kids when they deserved it. I was surprised, as I thought it was more an Asian thing and it was recent like 10 years ago. He then tells me that he did not believe in new-age parenting unless his kids were also reading the books and know how to "behave" accordingly haha.
I do find the balance between new-age parenting with sprinkles of old-school. Rest assured, no kids were harmed-harmed....
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My 2nd First Time
Let me come clean right off the bat! This is not my first post here on read.cash. I posted once before about 2 months ago.
I was excited. I thought I would be able to infiltrate and make friends - wait! I already had a few here. It should be easy enough right? What more - I have ideas, thoughts and experience to share, I like writing fiction and short stories. I have an interesting enough life. Surely, there must be some one or two who'd find my posts interesting enough.
I did not expect immediate success. I have been around the block long enough to know that things take time. But I sure as hell did not expect two thumbs down within hours of posting.
Don't give me tips, don't give me thumbs up - I get that. But thumbs down? So, with my tail between my legs, I deleted the post and trotted away quietly with a bruised ego.
I'd swing by once in a blue moon when someone shared their post on noise.cash. I'd read, comment, upvote and scoot off. Until the last time, I dropped a comment, I was marked as a spammer, with the comment hidden.
Woah!! I have been called many things in my life, but a spammer - huh!!! I had to fix this. My guess is, it happens when you are inactive? Maybe you know for sure why, and can tell me.
Anyways, time heals all wounds they say. So I am gingerly stepping back in. Except now, I think I'll stick it out through the thumbs down if it so comes to that... but can it please not come to that? 🙃
*Lead image: Photo by* ***Darwis Alwan*** *from* ***Pexels*** https://www.pexels.com/@darwisalwan?utm_content=attributionCopyText&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=pexels https://www.pexels.com/photo/sunset-1454769/?utm_content=attributionCopyText&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=pexels
@sh33la
