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It's Never a News That We Want to Hear

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Avatar for tired_momma
Written by   747
1 month ago

The death of someone even of someone we don't personally know is never news that we want to hear. I know the pain. I know how deepest condolences will not help ease the pain the grieving heart feels. How words of consolation will not be able to console the bereaved. And no time can heal the wound and moving on seems to take a lifetime.

Yesterday while on the road with my husband, his best friend called. He answers the call (hands-free) as the phone is connected to the car. Duncan asks first if he is driving. He sounds different, we can sense there is something wrong.

I told my husband to pull over the car so he can talk to him. We were thinking it's something to do with his Mom.

His Mom

Let me tell you first about this. He is living with his Mom. He does everything like cooking, washing and cleaning. Only washing her Mom he cannot do. He has another sibling Pauline just him and her. Their Dad died a long time ago before my father in law. They were friends too.

Recently, the mother was diagnosed with dementia. He's having a hard time. And it's getting worst. She acts like a child. She doesn't recognize his son and sometimes she thought she's her dad. Sometimes she thought he's a burglar and keep hitting him. She breaking all the biscuits in the house and scattered them everywhere. She gets paper and burns them inside the house.

Every time he goes to the garage to finish some work, neighbours will phone him as his Mom is breaking the windows and banging the door. Sometimes she's okay. Sometimes she recognized her as her son. But the one she never forgot is her daughter Pauline. She keeps looking for her. But Pauline never visit her Mother for 4 years now, even though she just lives not far away from them.

Duncan already phoned the doctor. Phoned because you can't easily see a doctor nowadays. And the thing is there are not many options but to put him in a home that he doesn't want to do. So he decided he will go to see his sister and ask her if she can visit their mother.

The Call

Duncan calls to tell my husband that her sister is dead. Pauline is dead. He went to her house to see if her sister can visit their Mom but what she saw was her house with no life.

She saw from the outside window that her sister was lying on the floor. He calls 999 as he cannot break in into the house. She's dead and nobody knows how long she's been dead. She is living alone. She is single and she's just 57.

That's shocked us. But how much more Duncan felt. Not the news he needs this time when he needs her and their mother needs them the most. Now she is left alone with her Mom.

And how sad it is that her mother will never know and understand that her daughter is dead? Should someone be thankful that at least she will not feel the pain of losing a child and of burying her?

He is waiting for the autopsy. While looking after his Mom he has to make arrangements for the funeral. Our family sends our condolences and that we are with him in this tough time.

Another one

Tonight we received bad news about Alex that he passed away. He is the owner of the field, the one who let us use the field and ride the bike. He doesn't even plough that field so my husband can keep riding his bike in there. He and my husband are the only two left that was born here at Castle Lane. He owns many of the lands all around Comber. He is always nice to our family.

He is a very likable and hardworking man. He works hard every day going to the fields. We just saw him the other day waving at us on his tractor. And we heard the news this morning that he was brought to the hospital and didn't expect tonight's news that he passed away. We are saddened by this.

Now we have two funerals to attend.

Thank you for reading.

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Written by   747
1 month ago
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Comments

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Life is unpredictable. I remember my student during my practicum who was very friendly and kind. He always waves at me every time he sees me. Just 2 weeks ago we met along the road and he said "Hi ma'am" to me with a smile, I smiled back to him and I feel so happy that he still remembers me. And unfortunately, that same day, he died. I can't believe what just happened. It breaks my heart knowing that he was gone so early.

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1 month ago

Ouch! Grabe naman yun. 😭

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1 month ago

So sorry for the loss, pls be strong...

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1 month ago

Nakakalungkot Naman po😔😔.Condolences po for his family..Kung nasaan man ngayon si Pauline and Alex,I hope na kasama Niya na po si god..

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1 month ago

Salamat at sana nga.

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1 month ago

Welcome po sis..

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1 month ago

It is always sad to hear this news. Even if they are not known to some of us, the empathy we feel for the relatives of the deceased is something that is unmatched by any other feeling of solidarity. My condolences to you and your family.

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1 month ago

Thank you Gertu. It's just not nice to receive this kind of news, 3 this week.

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1 month ago

That shows again how unpredictable life can be and why we must live every day like its the last

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1 month ago

Exactly. While on the road, that's what's going into my head. You'll never really know so make the most of your present. Thank you PV!

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1 month ago

Sorry for the loss, may the soul of the departed rest in perfect peace.

I know how it feels, it is inevitable and I pray we don't experience such by Gods grace

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1 month ago

Amen. We know that it will happen but we still hope and pray that it won't.

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1 month ago

I'm so sorry for the loss, it breaks one's heart to hear the death of a close person

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1 month ago

Yes, it is Abhay. Thank you.

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1 month ago

Ramdam na ramdam ko sis kung gaano mawalan ng mga minamahal😭.Doon sa part na kung paano nila masasabi sa mother na wala na si Pauline parang yong feeling ko nong nakaraang weeks na hindi ko alam kung paano sabihin sa mama ko na wala na kapatid niya...Condelences po sa family ng namatayan..And for Pauline and Alex rest in peace..Sana kasama na nila si Papa Jesus..

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1 month ago

Salamat sis. Sa totoo lang awang awa ako kay Duncan. Parang pasan nya daigdig this time. Salamat Sis.

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1 month ago

Sa ngayon po sis mas kailangan niya po kayo..Isang kaibigan na magbibigay sa kanya ng lakas ng loob para harapin ang pagsubok na dumaan sa kanya ngayon..Mahirap man pero kailangan niyang tanggapin..Pero alam ko po sa ngayon na hindi yan basta-basta matatanggap kasi sariwa pa po...Ang kailangan niya po ngayon ay pagdamay...

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1 month ago

Only the word death is enough to create sadness. I was expecting that you might be talking about the mother's death,but it was Pauline,this must be shocking for her family. Feeling also sad for Alex...he was such a generous person. My condolences to the family.

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1 month ago

Yes. That's the twist we didn't expect. Thank you dear.

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1 month ago

My condolences to the bereaved family po. Napakasakit naman po yung kay Duncan. Sana po makayanan niya lahat ng nangyari.

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1 month ago

Yes bhe. Andito sya kanina. Parang di pa rin sya makapaniwala. Waiting pa sa autopsy. Nagsabay sabay. Naaawa din kami sa kanya.

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1 month ago

This is hard to take. Wow. Not the kind of sight he would want to see on such a visit. That must be heartbreaking. I am so sorry momma because from the sound of it, he is a close friend of the family and how is your husband holding up too? This is hard to take...because he is left alone now with a burial to plan and a mother to take care of...

Autopsy should reveal the cause of death and I sincerely hope it's nothing foul with it.

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1 month ago

Napaka-unpredictable talaga nang buhay Ma'am.. Minsan nga yung iba, tulog lang, pero kinabukasan wala na pala.

Kaya nga sabi nila, "Live Life to the Fullest." Pero hindi naman ibig sabihin nun, lahat ng luho eh, gagawin mo na. Yung kumbaga ba, sikapin mo na mabuhay in a way na magiging role model ka sa ibang tao..

Condolences po for his family .😔 Mahirap man tanggapin ang katotohanan, pero si God lang ang may alam nang lahat..😇

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1 month ago

That's so sad sis, maybe that's why your husband's mom keep on looking her daughter. Maybe she sense something is wrong. I feel sorry for your mother in law.

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1 month ago

Madam..naiyak namn ako dun sa situation ng may ina na may dementia.. Ang hirap nun sobra... Tapus nawalan pa ng kapatid.. I just wrote about death yesterday, and here I am reading about literal death... May they rest in peace...

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1 month ago

It really is never easy to hear news like this. But it is a part of the cycle of our life here on earth. We can only extend our condolences and prayers to those who are left. And hope that they would go through these tough times.

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1 month ago

Wow this is really tragedic, Duncan needs friends to stand by him so he too won't try to attempt suicide after thinking of everything over. And for his mom I pray God heals her divinely so she won't one harm her own son

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1 month ago

Masakit ang ganito, pero ganun ang buhay eh hiram lamang. Kaya kung oras mo na talaga ay iyon na iyon. Tanggapin nalang kahit masakit hindi atin ang ating buhay.

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1 month ago

My deepest condolences to your husband's family and the family of the owner of the field. Don't worry, they are in good hands now, smiling beside God above.

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1 month ago

57 years of living in this world is too early too die. I'm sad for what happen, sorry for your loss. Life really is unpredictable so we should choose how we want to enjoy our lives

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1 month ago

That how life unpredictable are, btw sorry for the loss

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1 month ago

am sorry for this sad news... condolences to the bereaved families!

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1 month ago

I'm sorry for what happened maam. This is so sad. I felt pain reading about this. I don't want to hear also a news about death. It breaks my heart.🥺💔

My deepest condolences ma'am and to the bereaved families.🥺

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1 month ago

Yes basta death ansakit as dibdib kahit narinig mo lang kasi nakakarelate tayo sa pain of losing someone.

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1 month ago

That's a sad new to receive on the same day I pray you don't receive such bad new again because but will definitely change someone's mood

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1 month ago

Yes I know after hearing that news, my husband and I were speechless were like frozen. But we experience the worst and it never feels good to hear such.

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1 month ago

It can never be sweet for human hearing

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1 month ago

This is so sad to hear. Accept my sincere condolences.

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1 month ago

Ummmmh. So sorry for the loss. Some things are sometimes inevitable. We can't query God, we can only send our condolences to the deceased family.

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1 month ago

Yes, death is inevitable and death comes without notice. Thank you Queen.

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1 month ago

We do not know when our lives will end, we will all see the bitter surprise of life one day. Life is a story, and the end of life is the end of the story. There is nothing we can do but be sad.

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1 month ago

Yes. Death is inevitable. We just wish and hope that it will not be so soon.

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1 month ago

Oh my, that's just 😥 pakiabot nalang ng Pakikiramay ko mada. Kahit pa di kamag anak yan, basta kaibigan masakit yan, sobra 😥

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1 month ago

Salamat Ruffa.

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1 month ago

Damn! This was really painful and i was shocked that it was his sister that died. Death is nwevr something we plan for and although we all know we will die someday, it's still a shock when it happens. Condolences to Duncan and also to the rest of you

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1 month ago

Yes, we were shocked as well. We didn't see that coming. I guess that's the way it is. Death keeps surprising us whether we are ready or not.

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1 month ago

Ang hirap malaman meron nawawal kahit hindi man natin kaano ano lalo na kapag naging bahagi na sila ng ating buhay, condolence to the family

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1 month ago

Yes kahit nga young nababasa lang natin nakakarelate pa rin tayo sa pighati nila diba?

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1 month ago

Tama ka jan sissy, ang sakit talaga mawalan ng mahal sa buhay maging kakilala lang ito

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1 month ago

Oh my. Deaths are everywhere in our town too. What's happening? Well, we don't know until when we are going to live so for us who are still alive, let us renew ourselves and be prepared all time. I feel sad for what happened

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1 month ago

Yes. We all know we will die one day but we hope that day doesn't come.

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1 month ago

Yup, that doesn't come as of the moment

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1 month ago

Sorry about the sad news😔. I wonder how Duncan is going to cope . May the lord almighty comfort him and help him with his mum. Tell dad that he shouldn't be sad over the sad News. All will be well.

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1 month ago

He was here earlier on. We give our condolences. He's trying his best that's what we can see. Thank you dear.

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1 month ago

We never wants to hear the news of death when this is the reality of our life that we have to die sooner or later. I've lost my mom in 2015 so I've seen the cruel death very closely. The grief is for lifetime.

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1 month ago

We never forget how it feels and still feels the pain.

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1 month ago