The Birth Month of an Introvert

March 01, 2019
March 01, 2022

The feeling of being in your world like you had all the time, to lie down, listen to music, read books, be in the comfort of your room with the smell of the fabrics of your bed..ahhh heaven!

This was what always came to mind if finding free time that is mostly exaggerated.

Just from the setting of date you can tell that my head is a mess right now, lol!
I actually didn't plan to write something today since I started watching Episode 4 of "Thirty-Nine" (k-drama addict is present everywhere!!) but I was struck by a certain scene in which they spoke about "Life is short" that made me think of something to write.

Most of the people who knows me way back till now will always call me a "loner", well not virtually. I always talk and laugh normally online or even crack jokes. Whenever someone ask where is my favorite place in the world, I would immediately say "my room". I am not a nerd or anything for I don't really study much. I often read manga, fiction, romance and the sort. I only got a few friends, well I am not of the choosy one but they are.

Before, I was always nervous whenever I am with new people, during high school I almost plead not to stand up in front of my classmates during reporting, I am a commoner yet some still hates me since I don't talk much. There was even a time I was being laughed at but not to the point that I was being bullied, it was just a misunderstanding. The teacher let's me skip the class not because I was not prepared for the spot test but because I already took the same test paper for the training session. But still I was embarrass for they were laughing at me. They apologized on the next subject though. I am not into presentations but for the sake of academic that I had to do it. Looking back, I think of myself as a pathetic one and also funny. Imagining those moments where I cringed over skirts makes me laugh hard.

Now that I am working and was assigned in the purchasing and the human resources, I need to step aside and hide some of my traits in order to comply on my work. Practically speaking, I need to fill in the need to talk to people in order to stay in my job. Calling people and the need to ask for discounts needs a lot of strength and more patience and also gratitude whenever they agreed. Talking to the employees regarding salaries or simply making conversations with other staff are the ones I am still practicing up to now. I still can't manage to strike a conversation outside work so whenever I talk it's mostly connected to work, ugh so lame.

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shout out to gagi @LucyStephanieSeller for the sponsorship renewal...di na kita naka chicka ah..busy much sa work..

MARCH started today and it will be days before I turn a whole new calendar phase (30) as they always say. And since I will be turning evading another year so I set up a personal goal and I do hope I can get to even check some of them by the end of February next year.

Travel

As an indoor person I always envy people traveling places but when it comes to me doing it I back out instantly. Aside from being nauseous during long travels, I just want to stay cozy at home and watch movies or read a book. So traveling can be a sort of great accomplishment to me if I can do it once and for all.

Read some Percy Jackson's series sets

I admit, this author first released his book way back 2005 and then the next and the next but I never dared read even once on any of those. The reason is I don't want to be obsessed with it like I was with Harry Potter until now. I was still obsessed with the Quidditch Game and the Snitch. So this time I'll be doing it, I'll be reading some of his series. For those who already saw the movie please no spoilers for I'll be reading the book before watching the movie.

Re-decorate my room for a change

Well, my room as of the moment is sort of look like a studio with many pictures plastered on it. So I want to re decorate it and will eventually but a new book shelves for my books. I saw some wallpapers in one of our suppliers and I love the texture of it. I will surely buy one later this year and I would prefer black rather than light colors. Will also buy a double deck bed for me and my son since he's quite a pain in the neck when he complains about our bed right now.

Be myself again

Out of all the things I want to do, this seems to be the only one I can't manage to do so for years. I am not blaming the motherhood or the responsibilities. But ever since I started working to support my son, I became much more of an over thinker, I always thought of negative things that might happen to my family when I can't go on working.

I remember what Vice Ganda said in one of It's showtimes episodes " You are working to support your family and to provide for them all their needs. You need to be strong all the time to give them the help that they need. Then there will come a time that you're tired and you want someone to take care of you too but you remembered that those you have helped already need to provide for their own families too"

I am not complaining and I am not expecting but I want to smile brightly again. Heh!

These are one of the things I badly want to do this year and I am hoping to fulfill even just one of those at least.

Just like I wrote earlier, "Life is short" so I want to live by each day contented and fulfilled. I hope so.

I hope this month will be good to me this time. And I am praying and claiming for it.

To my ever supportive sponsors and friends, thank you for always believing even though I always doubt myself more and more. Thank you.

@mommykim