Right Time to Get Married

Dear Prof,

My name is Rachel and I just turned 22 years of age. My boyfriend and I were talking about our future plans yesterday and we opened up about our ideal wedding date.

He wanted it to be when we're both at least 25, and I said that I think I could push for when I'm 30. I know that it may be late for social standards but I still want to enjoy my life as I am and not someone else's wife.

My simple question is this: who do you think is right amongst us? What do you think is the best age to marry?

Yours sincerely,

Rachel

My Dear Rachel,

Thank you for that wonderful question but you may have been asking the wrong person here. Sure, I'm a widower and I loved my wife very dearly, I still do, but I certainly don't believe in marriage.

Marriage is not a matter of the heart, it's a matter of contract. Love, commitment, and loyalty are all that matter when it comes to a relationship and not the papers. Although I was married, I thought that marriages are nothing but a business contract, a merger that binds two individuals and their properties together. It's nothing more.

Marriage and love are very different from each other. And it is important to know which is which.

Although I don't believe in it, I understand the social standards surrounding that union. And now that you are asking me when it is best to marry, I would not be able to give you an exact number, I could not even give you a specific range. On the other hand, I will not also give you a vague answer such as "you'll know when you know", or that "you will feel it in you when it's time." No. Nothing like that.

Instead, let me give you this. You can look at yourself and weigh yourself against the following criteria:

• You are able to provide for yourself

• You are independent

• You can be happy alone

• You can buy what you want without the help of anyone

• You have a stable job

• You are ready to leave behind your youth

If you can honestly say that you are all of those, then you are there. You can marry.

Now, if you are going to ask me when you can be ready for love, then the short answer is, you can never be ready. You don't know when you will feel deeply for a person, you don't know when you will fall. And fall hard.

Some people fall for the very first time they interact, and others slowly develop the affection. And in some cases, they will never find out what love is all about.

Marriage is the least of your problems. As long as there is love, understanding, commitment, and loyalty, that piece of paper can just go to hell.

Hey yo!

And after some time, another installment from the professor. If you are new here, this article is part of the ongoing series "Letters of the Heart" wherein people could send their questions or letters about love, relationships, and any matters relating to the heart and the professor would respond with his reaction or answer to the sender.

You can see and read all the previous letters by going to this article: Letters of the Heart.

So what do you think about this topic? Do you agree with the professor or not? I would love to read your comments, suggestions, and violent reactions down below.

As for me, I would like to be married. Honestly though, I thought by now I would have been married, but as life would have it, things don't usually go according to plan.

I appreciate you visiting here again and until we read again...

Cheers!!!

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Series    : Letters of the Heart
Episode   : 019
Title     : Right Time to Get Married
Published : 08-Jan-2022
Author :  © RB