Beating the impossible.
Have you ever met a person that always thought of a bad situation before things happen? They often predict the worst and left a negative aura to their surrounding. Leaving others with worries, stress, depression, demotivation, and so on.
Well, predicting the worst before it happens is not a bad thing. It helps to prepare ourselves for the worst and also gives us time to find solutions before the moment arrives.
Everything in life can also be similar to cooking. If we add too many good ingredients to one pot, the meal will still taste bad because of the imbalance. That is why wise a chef measures their ingredients well. They did that to make sure they will have the same excellent taste they first created. Even if they want to improve their perfected dish, they will not immediately experiment on a bunch of ingredients. They will try one or only a few ingredients at a time. Sometimes they might not even change the ingredient but the way they cook it. This is what I thought they would do. I am not certain.
In life, I thought that things should also be in moderation. Not too much of negative prediction and not too less. Too much will create gloomy days, too little will create darkness.
Some words are only said as a way to express the level of the disturbance they feel inside of them. Some manage to encounter and some fail. Some of the failures to encounter end up in ending their life.
Each trouble has a way to solve but then if we are to drown inside of it, we will never be able to see any of the solutions.
Do not wait.
Don't wait for others to come and become our saviour. They may take a while to arrive. We must learn to save ourselves. You will find the difference between being independent and dependent when you are able to do so. There is no more restriction that causes our depression once we are able to be independent.
Do you think you are capable of being an independent person?
I once thought I cannot do so but I started small. I start with planning my life. It took me years to complete each of my plans but I am almost halfway through it now.
If you think that you cannot do it, then you will forever be unable to.
But...
If you give it a try even when you do not think that you will be successful...
You have already taken a step forward and you can slowly keep going starting with your first step. You might reach somewhere that can lead you to another few steps ahead in the future.
I am @heartbeat1515 and I wrote random thoughts that cross my mind.
Christians: It is a blessing.
I want to share a few stories that happened to me lately. Recently there too many people at my workplace are detected positive Covid-19 and they needed to be quarantined for 5 to 10 days at least. This brings to the lack of manpower in our whole system. We, the leftover that survives or escaped the infection needs to do a little bit of extra work to cover for them and hang on until everything subsides if it will subside.
If I tell you that it is not tiring, not stressful and not bordering me, I am lying. Every day, we need to be an extra alert, extra cautious and extra precaution. I wonder if all of that does help to prevent the infection.
Naturally, nobody can suppress human needs for freedom. Not everyone can stay at home and continue restricting themselves from doing the things they love such as travelling, recreation, hanging out with friends and family, sports, and a lot more. They deserve to do things that make them happy for the sake of a healthy mind.
What kills people more than a Covid can do?
Mental illness. This illness can make living people look dead or make a happy go lucky person die tomorrow. An unhealthy mind will kill people with or without a vaccine.
I have a patient that we managed to help to stand and transfer to a wheelchair. He is big and tall. It took all our strength to help him bit by bit every day. His daughter is smiling at his father progression in the process. She is one in a million caretaker. A very good one.
The patient is improving well but the day he is supposed to go home to her daughter, his condition changed. Deteriorated by day and not long after he is gone. It is sad for us. He is not here anymore but the memory of him and all the effort we gave him is still lingering in our hearts. I don't ever want to forget this kind and motivated patient.
That is one of the mental depressing causes that we need to face every day. Hopeless and disappointed. Sadness and fear. Will he or she make it? He or she is doing very well. Why? If we keep questioning, we will break down. We learned to let out our emotion at once, let it go and move on. Sounds cruel? It is a need because another patient is waiting for us. We can't give up easily.
Last week.
I was very upset with two of my patient that keep refusing to do their exercises. They have been refusing me for almost a week and I am only able to treat them once in that week.
This week.
I should remember not to be upset next time. Both of the patients are tested positive for Covid and I have to go for a test as required. Luckily my test came out negative and I can continue working.
Back to the tiring situation.
The leftover needs to keep on working on the double. Well, sounds frustrating? It is not.
It is a blessing.
The moment our status changed from 'suspected' to 'Fit work', we are blessed. Being able to keep working is a blessing because we are still safe from the virus. This is what I told my friends and I believe it.
Being rejected by the patients, being able to cover for the quarantined and being able to keep working, is a blessing.
Strong heart.
I changed some of my daily profile names to 'strong heart' as a reminder for myself.
To remind me that if I can't handle my feelings and mix emotion with work, I am going to break down.
I need to work professionally and be strong for those I treat. If I am weak, they will be worse.
It's not going to be easy but I believe I can do the best I can.
That is the only thing I can do.
You should too. Do best you can. We are not going to win this fight alone but we should be able to win this together. No matter who we are.
It is a must.
It was a lot more fun before. I do not know the reason I become more sensitive, grumpy, bad-tempered and most of the time unsatisfied with things that happen around me.
Sensitive.
I feel lonely in a crowd and I do not think that I am blending in with my colleagues anymore. In my thoughts, I just need to finish my work. I need to do every job description completed daily. If I do not do this I will be facing sarcastic words over and over again each month. Sometimes, those words are not meant for me but then it is said to everyone in general. Listening to those words over and over again creates a loop of memories in my head. Being extra sensitive also caused me to be a little grumpy.
Unsatisfied.
There is a lot of things that make me unsatisfied especially people that are older than me but acting more like a child compared to me.
It is extreme unsatisfactory feelings for me to face people like this. Probably because I am forced to grow up quick by my father. I am taught to be independent of the age of 16 years old. Perhaps that is an age that I should be independent but to depend on me to handle the elderly bank account, to build a house for them and to stop studying because someone needs to take care of my sick mother. I do sound like a bad child, don't I?
It's a pressure that I am not capable to withstand but still alive until this day. The elderly do not need to be elderly to be respected or taken as a role model.
If you are facing the same situation, try to list out the good things in them and focus on them. My father pays for my study even if he is not capable of giving me emotional support. He took an early pension to take care of my mother and younger sister, he stop smoking cigarettes and now, he sends me to work when I don't have a car.
I am self-taught to focus on the bright side and that is the reason I survive the pressure, which is one of the stressful events in my life.
Bright side.
Nothing going to push us down if do not allow it to happen to us. It is not going to be easy and definitely won't take a day to settle. It could take years of pain and struggle that nobody else can understand but ourselves.
The question is...
Do we want to give up on getting a good life because of the toxicity around us?
Is it them who decides for us?
There is a way out. A good way out that will benefit both parties. It just won't be coming tomorrow. We need to find it. Alone.
My new principal in life...
I need to be happy before I can make others happy. It is a must.
Strong heart.
May 1st, 2015.
It is the day I thought my life is getting better. It feels like having the freedom that I long thirst for. It is the day of my marriage.
I have a strong reason to live away from my parents and I no longer have to see or hear the nightmare in my consciousness.
It needs a strong heart to face that daily and that is the reason I am grateful for my younger sister. She has wiped away the darkness from my life.
March 5th, 2018
The birth of my daughter, my firstborn child. It feels like I own everything that I wanted all my life.
A chance to prove that I can give her the life of my dream. A chance to prove to myself that I am wrong. A chance to let my father know that he already has a good life. He can stop complaining, blaming others and live with sympathy for the rest of his life.
The truth is, I do not know my purpose or intention with all the feelings buried in my heart and thoughts rooting from my brain.
The year 2020.
It is a disaster worldwide. A virus called the 'Corona' or Covid19 is spreading and killing people. As far as I am seeing, that virus makes the living people dead though they are alive.
Dying is better than living but living life is better than dead. Do you know what I am saying?
Sympathy - loss
Empathy - history
Kindness - fear
Gratefulness - hatred
Nobody knows the difference between reality and virtual. Virtual becomes reality.
All of that needs a strong heart to continues humanity. Let the strong overpower the powerless because **just like martingales layering in trading, it is often a big raise before the big drop.** So it is the other way around.
The time will come, we no longer have to force ourselves to stay strong. Be patient, follow the flow and stay alive. Being alive means breathing and living every day like it is going to be our last breath soon.
Appreciation of life is much worthy than taking every day as the worst day in living. Heaven is probably unreachable but hell is something that we created ourselves. Perhaps we can do something about that.
Setting me free.
Some said that we are only using 10% of our brain function in our entire life. If that is true, I am wondering about the surprise if 100% of our brain function is activated.
Even with only 10% of the workload of the brain, some already has a hard life to get through. Each day our brain is used to fix most of the problems we are facing. Some problems are solved within a day and some are dragged for days without a solution.
Sometimes it felt like drowning without a hero.
Well, do not wait for others to become our heroes. We ought to be a hero for ourselves. We learn to discipline ourselves and set our goals. We do not let ourselves make excuses for our laziness.
A friend said to me, "laziness cannot be an excuse" and she is right. I have let myself be controlled by my laziness. Each time I am lazy I will always blame my tiredness. It causes a lot of my work to become unfinished.
I set a few goals earlier this year and I started with disciplining myself. I tell myself that no matter what the reason, I must clear all my checklist for the day and I did.
It made my stressful day a bit lighter and though the resting time is limited, I am happier. Life is better when we are happy. I use some of my time to learn about trading and hopefully, I can get a grip on a better income.
It's going to be a long year but each achievement made it worth the effort and sacrifice.
Being able to be more organized is like setting myself free from all the burdens I felt before.
The arrival of that moment in life.
I believe all of us is waiting for something good to happen in our life before we exhale our last breath. Whether it is a life without debt, a good relationship with family members, some trusted friends or a lot more than this.
A long wait causes the initiation of giving up and giving up leads nowhere.
**Will, that awaited moment arrive in time?**
**When will it be?**
**How long do I need to wait?**
Above might be the questions we will be asking ourselves. The answer is not certain but will it be worth waiting for that certain moment?
What do you think?
I think it will be worth it if we work it out instead of sitting quietly doing nothing at all.
For example, if we want to have a better life without debts start paying and stop owing. It might be difficult to do so because of inadequate sources of living. If we cannot afford to pay then we should stop owing. We should start finding solutions to balance expenses and clearing debts.
Another example, if we want to build a house but we do not have the budget, we could try to find a few sources of income within our capabilities. It will be years of emotional torture and hard labour but will it be worth it, in the end, is up to us.
The moment it arrived.
I was hoping to have a manageable work routine this year of 2022 and I have been able to do it up until now. I am hoping to keep it up and be happy throughout the years.
This is the start of my manageable life and I intend to continue living like this. It is less stressful and a little bit happier.
I can say that I am more energetic when I am happier with my works. I still need a lot of catching up to do. Life is good the moment I can control my routine. I need to keep up this discipline within me and I believe that I will have a great year now and after this.
Let us make 2022 the starting of our best year and more to come. Good luck everyone.
The year starts again.
It is January 1st, 2022.
I wrote a letter to myself around one to two months ago and I just finished reading it. It's going to be a new start again.
Another year to get through for my occupation year-end marks requirements, my daughter is going to be 4 years old in March, my house has become much more comfortable to live in and everything went well according to plan.
Perhaps I can aim to get a car this year. I paid off most of my debts excluding the bank's loans. I learned to budget my expenses.
My aim this year.
To write one article per day.
To make sure I have no unfinished work in the office. To be an efficient worker not for the credit but my pleasure.
To spend more time with my daughter.
Perhaps to lose some weight and be healthier.
No more lending money from others.
No more empty wallets before the next payday.
Perhaps I can start saving crypto again.
My life. To celebrate.
7 years of marriage plus 2 years together with my husband. It's 9 years of being with him.
3 years being a mother.
Almost 11 years working.
32 years alive.
I found two great friends through cryptocurrency.
I have a lot of good friends around.
There are more than I can write in this article. Life is to celebrate and mistakes are to learn from.
A letter for myself on 1st of January 2022
Dear future me,
Today should be the new year of 2022. I hope you are reading this right on time. I want to remind you of your achievements back in 2021.
Before that I want you to remember that you are not performing well in 2021. I believe you know that you can do way much better than last year. Tiredness, disappointment, heartaches, anger, truth revealed...
16 years ago, your whole family is kicked out of the house that you have been living your whole life. You never know the reason for that but now you know. I will not say it here because I know even though you are forgetful, you will not forget about this one.
Now the one that kicks you out is having trouble and your family ask you to take back the land that should belong to your mother, I wonder if you still have the same decision now.
You can just let go, you know. You have your own life to settle before the golden years come.
You manage to get a new bed, an automatic washing machine, a house and a life that you dream of. Your next target is a car, a complete house and savings. Your daughter is going to school soon. You will be needing a lot of money for that.
I know you well and I believe you will be able to overcome any obstacle that will be in your way. It is not going to be too long before you can have a proper rest and live peacefully without worries.
You are blessed with good friends near and far. You are strong and you can be better.
Learn to be quiet, be in your world. Let go of things that are not related to you. You will be much better this way. Have a try and let me know how it goes, alright?
See you again soon dear me. Wish to meet a better you.
Sign me in 2021.
Dear diary #1
24th October 2021
Since Covid-19
Things have been a lot busy during the pandemic. Tiredness causes laziness and the craving to have more rest time though I do have some of it. I am grateful that a colleague can take my on call this week so I can have two days at home. I will be replacing him next week.
I have always enjoyed the time I can spend alone doing nothing. I guess I love this kind of moment in my life though I do enjoy some gatherings too. Only with people, I am familiar with.
The budget is still an issue but then I manage to close one of my debts last month. I will be working hard to close all of them so that I can feel free. Free from the stress of having debts.
I manage to buy a new bed and sleeping is more comfortable now. My daughter is growing up well and brilliant. We have been protected from the Covid 19 infection until now and I hope this keeps up.
Should I aim to lose weight? To be healthy. To make my body lighter so that I can be more active.
Perhaps just the belly fats?
Christmas is coming soon and I hope to be able to give a decent give to everyone this year though it might be a cheap one because that is all I can afford. I don't want to see anybody going home empty-handed this year after our Christmas celebration in the office.
Well, it is only 2 more months until next year. It will be better next year. Hope and efforts work well together for me this year. Hopefully, it will be too next year.
Midnight Fairy
*Darkness brighten by the street lamps,*
*The moon and stars look like multiple chandeliers hanging on the night sky,*
*The air is cold,*
*The streets are silent.*
*No other footsteps other than ours,*
*As we walk by the streets to the unknown,*
*I can hear your breathing,*
*I can see your gentle smile.*
*The touch of your hand warmth my souls,*
*I will follow you where ever you might go.*
*At the end of the roads,*
*I saw another set of lights,*
*Other than the street’s lamps,*
*Other than the moonlight,*
*Other than the light of millions of stars.*
*You continue to walk,*
*As I follow you close behind.*
*We took a turn at the end and there it is,*
*Right in front of us,*
*A magical door with the colour of a rainbow.*
*You stop and you took my hands,*
*We look into each other eyes,*
*And I fell into your embrace.*
*The moment lasts for a while,*
*Until you let me go,*
*Tears flowing through my cheeks,*
*As you said goodbye.*
*It’s my birthday,*
*I know this moment will come,*
*I turn into a woman and I can no longer meet you,*
*Goodbye Peter,*
*My midnight fairy.*
Smile in pain
Laughter burst into the air,
A big smile carve on her lips,
Her brown-tinted eyes are sparkling like a diamond.
That pretty face cover it all,
No one else can see the sword stabbing her heart.
No one else can see the tears she covered with her smile.
There are no explanations or the excruciating pain she felt inside,
There are no words that can be used to express her definition of pain,
It does not matter anymore because now she realized that she is in no place to speak.
She has tried to stand strong as much as she can,
Holding on so she won't let another fall with her.
An explanation will no longer be of use,
Silent will be the only treatment,
For the no longer bearable pain in her heart
Drawing on the wall.
I came home one day and this is drawn on the wall of the bedroom. I guess my husband become extremely bored and spent his free time drawing this. This has become my daughter favourite wall.
I tried to do the same thing but I am not a good painter. I end up making scribbles on the wall.
Can you see the cat face drawn?
I spontaneously asked my daughter, "Is this a cat?" And she answered me, "No mommy. Try again."
I burst into laughter. I am not good at drawing but I am happy that the next day I asked her, she can recognise the cat. I can almost have a conversation with her. Even though her speech is still partly a mumble but now she has more words in her vocabulary. I doubt that she fully understands the words she is saying but at least now I have a friend to talk to at home.
The sunrise that I can see every morning reminds me of every blessing that I have in my life. My daughter is one of them and the most precious one. She wipes away my tears and strengthens the glue of my broken hearts.
It has been tiring lately causing lesser time to write furthermore reading but I am elated that I can have a little bit of time to write today(14.09.2021). I wrote bit by bit with every free time I got and this is what I end up with.
Time is precious. 5 minutes of resting is also golden nowadays during work hours.
One out of ten.
***If one person out of ten is thinking differently than the other nine who have the same opinion, that one person is wrong.***
What do you think of the sentence above?
Sometimes, it can be the other way around. That one person can be right and the other nine can be wrong. Let's not use the word right or wrong.
Each of us has the right to choose for ourselves. The risks, maybe regret and heartache too will be on our shoulders. That can be the after-effects of personal decisions but if the decision made include a community then we will also be accepting accusations or blame for making the wrong decision.
The best option is to follow the community choice regardless of our own opinions. Whatever that is on our mind will be unimportant and trash if we go against the community. It is quite stressful to fight for things that we are not even half sure about the truth behind. Which truth? Is also undefined.
Being able to choose freely is considered as being lucky. Not given option is often said as bad luck. What if options are given but the end result are the same?
There will be a time that we will be given the option to choose with our hands tied behind our backs. It will feel like standing in a room with no escape will the wall moving closer and closer to us. It might feel like drowning and waiting to die because we cannot swim. It is suffocating because there is no way out.
**What can we do?**
Hold on. Hold on as long as we can, as long as we are allowed to. Perhaps in that closed room, if we look up, there might be a rope that we can climb and get out from the roof. Perhaps while we are drowning, someone might come to save us.
**What happens if we cannot hold on any longer?**
There will be no other option than to give in and continue living with hopes that there will be no regrets in the future. Well, it is a devastating solution but then having regret will teach us a lot of things. We will be stronger next time to stand for our opinion or perhaps it will teach us not to be stubborn.
No matter where we end to, we can just call it fate. If it is heartbreaking, learn to let it go. If it ends happily, learn to be grateful.
You are free to choose.
It is what others often say, but it will come with a long explanation with advice that goes differently from your way of thinking. What would you do in this situation?
The best option for me is to listen and try to do a minimum talking back as possible. Listening can give me more information. Perhaps it could help me to make better decisions. There is no harm to listen to another opinion because, in the end, the decision will be our own.
If we are wrong we take the blame and if we are right then we can be relieved.
Everyone deserves to make their own choices but nobody can make perfect choices. There will be room for flaws and regrets. Most importantly, each choice is made personally so that we will not end up blaming others.
The phrase, 'you are free to choose' is not entirely true because most of us are bound to rules and regulations. It does not matter whether it is our principles, other people or those who are superior to us.
The only thing that we have before we make a decision is time. We are given time and we should appreciate it by thinking thoroughly about every decision we make.
The choice we make is not always the best for us or for the people we care about, therefore, it is alright to listen to others opinions.
It is alright to cry but do not forget to stand back on your feet and continue on this journey we call life. It is possibly impossible to not have a stressful moment or one that might lead to depression but, that also depends on our decision about it.
Whether we choose to let our self sank to the bottom or to override it, all depends on our decision.
It is not easy. It will never be easy. Can you imagine all the good things that might happen if we manage to overcome the state of making a decision?
Will it be good things or other?
I am not sure about the things going on in my mind while writing this article, but if you can dig into my thoughts, I would like to read your comments below.
Ease of mind
It was quite a frustrating day. Things seem to be more complicated day by day. It was easy for some people but it is not that easy for me.
Some said that God has given you the help but you refused, why do you keep on praying?
Some said are you going to wait until the worst comes true before you can make up your mind?
I am not. There is something I am willing to wait for but I am not sure the length of this wait.
I came home today, 14th August 2021 and I sat on our mini resting zone with my little family. The above picture is the view we are watching until it got dark.
I am glad to have this relaxing view at home. Thanks to the effort of my dear husband. It took him months to do all of this alone. This is all done with his strength alone, without the use of any machine.
I edited the picture a bit using the adobe express application on my Vivo smartphone.
Both of them are trying to set a modified fish rod with the hope to catch some fish for a meal. Got a little one just now and he is still fishing.
The two ladies in the house are now resting on the bed for there are too many mosquitoes outside.
This is how the place looks like before he cleans it. There were times he almost gives up because of tiredness. He needs to look after our daughter while I am at works and he did all the works hours before dark after I get home.
There were times he will sleep half of the day and continue working in the evening. All his hard work are now paying off.
It is not as easy but I am glad he did not give up. I am lucky to have him. Our stories are not as beautiful as the romance movies, but I am grateful to have him as my partner and husband.
Hopefully, our daughter will only see the beauty in our relationship and be blessed with a good husband in her future.
Christians: Pushed to the limit.
How much is my limit?
I thought that I have passed by all my limitations a long time ago. My patience and inner strength. It turns out that with every obstacle and burden that I felt, it becomes slightly stronger.
If I said...
If I said that I never felt like I am better dead than alive, I am lying to you.
If I said that I never tried to kill myself, I am lying to you.
If I said that my heart is as tough as a diamond that is difficult to break, I am lying to you.
Things changed.
I thought before that God has forsaken me because of all the choices I made in my life.
I married a divorced man and our marriage is not blessed in the church like the other Christian. Perhaps we have a chance but then I gave up trying. I am tired of the rules made by man. I am tired of explaining myself.
Did I regret marrying this man?
Perhaps I did once in a while at the moment of our wars but then after it passed, everything turns out to be alright once again.
Why?
He makes me fall in love with him one and over again every day.
It is not that he did it purposely but I just felt it that way.
I fall in love with...
The way he works himself out to clean the surrounding of your house.
His capability of providing us food out of nowhere.
His way of treating our daughter.
His silent whenever he felt trouble. (He is never a good talker especially when he is trying to express his feelings or things that trouble him. He is the worst from the worst 😂)
His stupidity in being kind. This sometimes becomes the source of our fight too.
People said that love is blind but I think that love does not need eyes to see. I think that love just needs some logic to survive.
If we cannot live with the person why bother to express our love?
If we are not willing to sacrifice for the sake of being together, why bother to be a couple?
If we are not to accept his/her family as our own, why bother saying yes to a marriage proposal?
If we can see only the weaknesses, why bother trying to develop a love connection that barely holding on?
If we want to be with a person because we feel like we own him/her, what is the meaning of love?
If you think that all of the above is an easy task to go through, how long can you stay with the thoughts?
My personal opinion.
It is not whether we can live with the person or not but whether we can create a living space that applies to both.
It is not whether we can make a sacrifice or not but whether we can compromise with each other.
It is not whether we can accept the family or not but whether we can understand his/her situation clearly and be able to be a great supporter that will protect a family bond, especially the two of us.
It is not that we do not want to see the weakness but rather if we can turn weaknesses into strengths.
A person is not a thing to own but to be respected their decisions, can we negotiate and end up with a new option that favors both.
It is not how long we can hold the same thoughts but rather are we capable to overcome negativity? Are we able to stand on our own after a hard fall? Are we strong enough for all of the possible outcomes that might be?
Strengths are developed with a strong will.
The will to survive, have a better life, provide for the children, and not have regrets. Life is never easy and nobody said so. Even the wealthiest man and happiest moment on the earth is sure to have their bad moments.
The differences will be the choices we make. Give up or move on with life?
As for me...
I always believe that God has a plan for me. I do not know what it is but I am sure that God always provides for me.
I put my life on faith in God even though in the eyes of man, I am not even showing life as a Christian.
If the whole world is thinking the other way than me and someday I might not be able to hold on to the choice I made, I still believe that it is God who leads my way.
This kind of article might sound dramatic or unreal but I am grateful that you read until this part. I just want to pour out feelings that I cannot describe in detail because I am afraid that I cannot hold them in any longer.
I want to scream, I want to burst into tears whenever I want to without being questioned. It's just that it might hurt others therefore I do not dare to do it because I know it will hurt me back.
I do not plan to give up and I will stand strong until everything comes clear for me.
If you are planning to give up on something while you are reading this, please don't. Exclusion if you are planning to kill someone or rob a bank 😅😅
Let us wait a little bit longer. Who knows what tomorrow might bring?
Perspective.
The perspective of a person mind is not something that can be easily altered other than by the individual themselves. There are two kinds of perspectives that I often encounter in my daily life. One is based on logical reasons and the other is for own benefits.
Logical reasons.
In my opinion, this kind of person is trying to avoid regret in their life. They will think of a thousand endings for every choice that they have.
*If I take this...*
*If I take the other one...*
*What if I refuse both?*
*What if I choose the other instead of this one?*
*Perhaps it would be better if I wait.*
*Perhaps there are other solutions other than this.*
**Have you ever regretted your decision?**
A lot of people asked me these two questions before I married my husband.
*Are you sure you want to marry him?*
*Would you not regret it?*
I might have regretted some of my decisions but marrying him is not one of them. I usually set my mind to think another way.
*"If I did not make this choice, I might not get the chance to have a beautiful baby girl".*
I have an amazing daughter. A perfect mirror of myself. She is the reason I have a strong will to succeed and bravely to take any daring decision. I will do my best to make sure that I will not have any regret in the future for every decision I make. If I have a second thought in the future I will probably start to regret it.
Personal Benefits.
The number of people who is willing to help others without expecting anything in return is countable. Deep inside us, there is always a desire to make sure we will not be lost.
This type of people mostly those who have a strong principle. They probably tend to ignore other needs if that can help them to achieve their desires or needs. It would be hard to change their mind once they made a decision.
Taking care of ourselves.
I need to be in a better condition if I want to be capable of helping others financially. Some might say that I am greedy without knowing that I am struggling financially. Nobody knows us better than ourselves.
We should not let other perspectives influence our own. We are wise in our own special way. It is alright to listen to other opinions before we can make a decision of our own. It is not an easy task but it is doable.
The number goes up.
Body aches, tiredness, inadequate sleep, overwork, unfinished tasks, unsatisfied feelings, unrealized dreams and chaotic mind thinking. All of these leads to demotivation in my daily life. I have spent time watching movies and playing games to clear up my mind. Plus, the number of people infected by the Corona Virus is spiking instead of reducing or at least maintaining after the vaccination. It is adding up to the tension in my daily life.
**Why does the number is worsening?**
This question keeps on running in my mind. Some said that vaccination prevents us from being infected. Does it? I do not dare to make a statement about this. Wearing a face mask for the whole time does not work too well if the mask is not frequently changed. I thought that I might end up suffocated with my own breath due to the lack of oxygen. I missed being able to breathe in fresh air just like we used to.
In my opinion, avoiding seeing others when it is not necessary is more effective than all the others. The only problem is that we are intelligent creatures. We are capable of making a ton of excuses to get out of the house. Our excuses are perfect. Buying groceries and going to work. As for buying groceries, we do not need to do it daily. We can do it once a week or twice a month. Going to work is easier. We go to work, finished our job and go straight back home.
The important thing we need to do is to be organized. I still remembered a year ago when the virus first came into our life. The increase in the number of the infected is not this much. At first, everybody is willing to and able to stay at home without being forced. Now, everyone wants to get out. Not for essential needs but for the purpose of leisure.
***"I miss the beach"***
***"I miss hanging out with my friends"***
Well, me too. I miss all those moments too. I missed the freedom to move around. I am tired of the need to be extra careful outside. I am tired of looking at increasing numbers every day. It is stressful, annoying and tiring. I am not angry. I just want you to know that you are not alone.
I want to get back to the old days. I know you want that too. We live day by day and a lot of thing changes. Previously, it would be only small changes a day but this virus gave us a big surprise. We are capable of surviving and adapting to changes.
**Are we defeated by Corona Virus?**
**Are we incapable of accepting the changes made by this virus?**
Remember a year ago, at the time we are still afraid of the virus. That fear kept us safe. The number is not as worst as now.
**Did I think wrongly?**
Our stubbornness and egoistic personality prevent us to cooperate. We all have our own thoughts and nobody is wrong. Each of us wants to survive. Survival mode can make anyone do anything.
***Which will be our choice?***
***Giving up after two years of survival mode or we move on and accept our new reality?***
Life is never easy but we can choose to make it lighter and easier to run until the day of our death. Well if we want to have a quicker death, it is easier nowadays. Just go around, be infected and slowly die. Perhaps, it will not be called a suicide.
Just remember one thing before doing this. The first person to die might not be us. It could be the person we love most while we survive. It will all be our own fault.
***Would that be nice to live with guilt or ending the precious life that our mother struggles to give birth to?***
Undecided
All provided,
All prepared,
The only thing to do is to say the word,
Yes!
But then...
The heart and the mind goes a different way,
Leaving the soul idle,
Stuck in between,
Being undecided.
Day by day,
Things go the same.
More and more,
Heavier the thoughts.
Unable to express,
Unable to decide,
Unable to face the consequences of a decision.
Will, there be someone,
Who can carry it away?
Will, there be something else,
Other than this option?
Undecided,
I am still undecided,
The only thing I am sure of is that I have my reasoning.
Each of us has a reason for the things we decided.
Some thoughts that if one agree and the others should agree too. In my opinion, each of us deserves to decide base on our own principal. There are decisions that are easy to make and there are some that put us into a hell of headaches.
It is not easy to stand on our principal especially if the decision we need to make include everyone else. It depends on whether the things we stand for are worth the fight. If it is worth the fight, why give up on it?
A decision needs to be made carefully without the influence of others to prevent worse complications later. Especially, if anything goes wrong. Who will the blame be pinpoint to later? A decision made on our own will only pinpoint the guilt to ourselves.
Guilt is for sure a bad feeling. A perfect demotivation to oneself and might lead to a worse case but the guilt felt because of our wrongdoing to ourselves is better than the guilt felt for our wrongdoing to others. Generally, both are still awful but then something is always better than the other.
*What if the decision you make because of other influences goes wrong?*
*What if it did not go as good as the other has experienced?*
*What if you decided to follow their advice?*
This is what the poetry I wrote above base on. What if?
The act of love.
Love is often described as a beautiful act. It is still unexplainable regardless of the experiences or knowledge we have. Love can be explained in a lot of sentences but it never existed with just one explainataion.
*Love is kind.*
*Love is patient.*
*Love is empathy.*
*Love is pure.*
*Love is honest.*
Is it?
In real life, it is not as perfect as in the movies. Love is not always kind when it wants to protect. It can be fierce, anger or annoying. If a mother saw her four-year-old son climbing a tree, she will be angry and scold her son. Most of us, I think. The truth is, it is not that we are angry with our son. Love gave us the strength to protect and turn us into a protective mode.
Love can also be scary. Some people do what they do in the name of love without realizing that they are doing it for the sake of their benefit. Well, who does not want to reward themselves with good fortune right?
Then the phrase 'Give and take' existed or in my opinion, providing for each other. If we learn to provide and complete each other dreams that would be the greatest love of all. Frankly, it is almost impossible just like the existence of a couple that never got into a fight.
Love can be scary.
Why would it? Is love not the most beautiful act of all?
Too much love will turn into an obsession, leading the real feeling of love into a nightmare.
I believe that most of us have seen or read about suicidal cases that happened because of heartbreak. Suddenly the world turns dark and they have no more will to live. Do they only love that person that breaks their heart and not the other people who care about them?
*Love can kill.*
*Love is blind.*
Is this the situation where those two phrases come from? In the end, the people left behind end up blaming and hating each other.
Is that the purpose of suicide? I think the best action of all is to prove to the person that we can have a good life even without them. There is no other great thing than being alive because we will have a lot of chances to do a lot of things while we are alive. Why did I say so? Mainly because I do not know what will happen after death. Religiously and in beliefs there might be some explanation but I would like to be in general.
The act of love can be in any form. Perhaps it is not always a happy ending but still, the love existed. Love is meant to be given and not to be asked from.
To love others, learn to love yourself first.
To be love, learn to be understandable and compromised.
To stay in love, learn to accept each other weaknesses, throw away ego and self-improvement. (If we cannot change ourselves then why be with that person?/ If that person is not willing to change for us, why do we force to keep the relationship?)
Both parties deserve to be happy.
Sometimes with love, we need to learn to let go. Love is the hardest act of all. That is the reality for me.
Christians: A good meal.
**Do you often hear other complaints about the food they are eating?**
For example:
Would it be nice if there is... to eat with this?
Is this all the food for our dinner?
This does not taste nice. (It is still edible though)
All of the above are common and I have to admit that sometimes, I do the same.
As a cook, we want to provide the best food taste we can serve to others. In the process of creation, we might have wasted a lot of good food just to create a perfect taste. In the anime I watched, they practice, but it never shows where all the food went to after. (Yumeirro Pattisiere)
Some anime(Shokugeki no soma) shows that even food scrap as they call it can be turned into a decent meal.
We threw a lot of food into our garbage bin and yet there are still people who live with hunger or die of starvation.
I was planning to do Intermittent fasting...
I said to myself that I need to do a bit of fasting because I have gained a lot of weight recently since I stuff myself with a lot of cakes in June. There was a lot of birthday in June at our workplace and there is cake to eat every week.
I planned to start fasting on the 1st of July but then I believe that I always have a lot of blessings in my life. Some of the friends in my office bought me breakfast, lunch and tea break snacks.
Above is one of the snacks I have been stuffing myself with. I end up failing to start the intermittent fasting I planned to but then probably God bless with food and I decided to appreciate it.
Some people are struggling to get food and some does not even have any food to eat for the day. Some people need to be picky regarding the food they eat due to health conditions like allergies, skin problems, bowel intolerance and many more. This is understandable including those who want to control their food intake due to obesity and healthy Body mass index(BMI) maintenance.
The question is...
Why buy a lot of food if you are not going to eat it?
In the end, all the extra food is going into the garbage bin. Instead of the bin, it would be better if we buy just enough, stop wasting and give it to others including strays cats or dogs.
A good meal is a meal that prevents us from starvation. A meal that we can share and a meal that feeds the soul is the best of all.
Lesson
***Do you like being lectured?*** I do not think that anyone likes being lectured, especially regarding things that are opposite to their principal in life.
In other words, lectured can also be called a reminder. We are keep being reminded so that we will be able to remember our lesson and used it to improve our quality of life. We listen to a lesson once and we can only use 1% of it for our benefit. We listen to it a few more times and we will be able to use 10% for improving our quality of life. For the other 89%, it will depend on our choice, action, efforts and will.
***What if the lesson keeps being pushed onto us several times a day or being mention repetitively in one session of a lesson?***
I thought that we might develop rejection and our mind automatically blocked our ability to interpret the lesson given. In addition, if we have another personal problem or interest during the time that the lesson is given, it will even cause our ears to be deaf to the lesson. It is what they called daydreaming I guess. Losing focus before a lesson started is the same as not having a lesson, but then the root of all those daydreaming should be solved first.
**The causes of daydreaming can be because of** an internal problem personally or outside influences and getting lectured because of those daydreaming will not be helping to improve focus. This is probably the biggest problem a teacher can have during teaching.
**Listening but not listening.**
Some people are used to be lectured therefore they can listen but they probably did not interpret it. It could probably because they feel that it is not the solution, the feeling of being unfairly judge or the inability to accept, especially if they feel being forced to adapt.
**Compromised.**
A gift and take attitude. It is a good attitude but then it still needs to be fair for both parties. No matter how obedient or how good a person is, we are still humans with weaknesses. We can break and later we will eventually die. Everyone needs to achieve a satisfying state once in a while, wanting to be fairly judged, wanting to live with ease, not being compared to other and having purposes in life while need to blend in with society.
In the end,
Lessons were mean to be learned through experiences and not to be forced onto. That is the reason why sometimes experiences can beat theories. It takes time, passion and compassion to fall, heal, learn and improve after every lesson. There is no lesson that can be learned in a day and there is no lesson that can be learned without being hurt physically, mentally or emotionally.
Daily walk.
Workdays are a part of my life. Some said that work is our second home. Sometimes, it is but there is the time it does not feel like home at all.
Though it felt like that sometimes, it is important to make each day wonderful as it can be for the sake of mental health.
The inability to go through multiple or sudden changes will affect the qualities of work. I have been there. Being be motivated is the worst thing to be in a workplace. It causes a lot of undone jobs.
Going up to level 10 is my new routine. The lift sometimes functions well, sometimes it is broken or being lockdown for the use of the Covid-19 ward.
Going up is troublesome because using the lift is not like it was before.
A lift that can hold more than four people are only allowed to operate with four people at a time. It already feels tiring waiting for turns and it is annoying when someone directly goes in once the lift is open without concerning those who are currently waiting for turns.
Reaching level 10 the view is refreshing.
The view is amazing. The cloud changes every day and it lessens the tiredness I felt. It is going to rain soon but still, the cloud looks mesmerizing for me.
The view in the ward stays the same. More empty than it was before. Ot looks cleaner and more arrangeable compare to before though.
It is time to repeat yesterday and make it become another beautiful memory.
If my muscles can talk.
These few days were very tiring with continuous work from 8 in the morning until 5 in the evening. Now, I have a few more minutes before going home and at last, I can write something. I want to express my tiredness through a poem and I hope all those who are as tired as me or even more will enjoy reading it.
*Waking up in the morning is not as refreshing as the ads on television,*
*The air feels cold making me want to stay longer in bed,*
*The warmth of the blanket preventing my body to get up and prepare.*
*Preparing for work again?*
*Yes, again.*
*My brain and my muscles are debating,*
*Both are stubborn with their own opinion.*
*You need money,*
*You got to pay your debt,*
*You got to feed your child,*
*You will be scolded if you are late.*
*That is all my brain can say.*
*If my muscle can say the same,*
*How good it will be.*
*I can continue to work without worry.*
*Enough, enough, enough*
*Say my muscle to my brain.*
*I am not a mechanical item that can be substituted with anything.*
*I will wear and tear and no longer can you make me work.*
*Will you be able to handle all the consequences?*
*Shh... said my brain,*
*I am thinking.*
*Yes, yes you need to rest but you still need to work.*
*There is nothing more I can do for you other than managing your time of use.*
If my muscle can talk and my brain will listen...
There it is. I feel much better and I still have 3 minutes to pack my bag and went off home from work.
Dark days.
**Curation Duo program #3 has long started and this time it is for the community SYT: Creative Smartphone Photography.**
When I first started the curation duo I was excited to read, promote and comment on each entry until one of my comments suddenly detected as spam. I thought maybe because I wrote or commented too fast or perhaps I offended someone. If I did I sincerely apologise for what I did wrong. Do let me know my mistake so that I will not repeat it.
I slow down on read. cash and stay on noise. cash. I was hoping that by doing this my account can get back to the way it was.
Read. cash was not the way it used to be but still, I want to keep writing here too. Since the spammers come in and become prominent, everything change. It is normal to read and leave a comment after that but then giving comments nowadays needs extra precaution. One of my comment that was detected as spam is when I replied to all the comment in one of my article in one go, ending up with the 6th comment detected as spam.
I was too happy replying to all the comments and that one notification kills my happiness in one shot. It is frustrating and sad but it doesn't stop me especially when one of my articles manage to get around $30 and suddenly after the spam notification it becomes lesser. It is not that I am blaming the system but I just want to let out the frustration in a good way to lessen my disappointments.
I wish to be able to comment freely but then the spammer might come back worst than before. I guess I just need to face reality and accept the changes gradually.
I took this picture before I went home from on-call yesterday and edited it. I was hoping to edit it to look like a dark alley but my expectations go beyond my ability.
It ends up becoming like this.
Do you notice the door at the end with light seen from the other side. This is my current feeling about read.cash since my comment detected as spam.
I do not have the motivation after that one notification but I did not give up on writing here. I believe that somewhere in my journey here, I will find a door that leads me out from the darkness. I made a mistake once and I am not hoping to repeat the same regret.
**Curation Duo #3 will still go until I get my pace again. Feel free to send submissions. One article a day.**
Here is the original announcement. https://read.cash/@heartbeat1515/curation-duo-3-photography-quote-13acf8a6
Similarities: Different but almost the same.
@JonicaBradley is giving the challenge to write about **similarities** for the previous week but I still would like to write about it. She once meets a 125 years old woman in Laos and that is pretty amazing in my opinion. I never met one before but I did meet a person who almost reached the age of 100.
Read here for the original announcement. https://read.cash/@JonicaBradley/writing-prompt-3-similarities-7685d152
There is a proverb in the Malay language saying, 'Rambut sama hitam tetapi hati lain-lain'.
In general, it means, even though we have the same colour of hair, it does not mean that our heart feels the same. As for direct translation, 'Hair equally black but different heart'.
Human, in general, are the same species as Homo Sapiens. Though we are all human, our judgement, opinion, like and dislike varies individually.
For examples, an identical twin. They might look the same physically but their personality could be different. One can be someone who spends time in a library studying most of the time and the other can be spending their time with outdoors activity. One can dream to be a doctor and another wish to be a professional coach. Their similarity is that they both have a dream.
Human is different individuals and each is special in their way but somehow there are a few similarities in my opinion.
**Firstly, we are born to die and none of us knows exactly the day that we die.**
The interesting things about life are that it can end anytime but somehow we can choose to live longer or end it quickly. To live longer we can try to eliminate the possibility of early death such as poor health. It will be different if we are born with a congenital disease but we still can choose whether to live to our fullest or to waste time and regret later.
For example, smoking can lead to bad health and probably it will reduce our life span. Therefore we should avoid it but still, some decide to continue because of the pleasure. It is their decision.
**Secondly, we have the will to survive.**
Everyone will work hard to get a better living. Perhaps there is a few that does not have the will to survive but then there will be someone that will help them to survive.
**Thirdly, the will to lend a hand whenever it is possible.**
It is included those who are often considered as doing small things like bringing a stray cat home and giving it a home. In that cat eyes, that person is its saviour.
**To protect ourselves.**
Contrary to the things we said or do, even though we said we do not care, I believe that each of us has our protective measure regarding our feelings and comfortability. Each of us wishes for the best thing to happen to ourselves. Nobody wants to get hurt.
We will tend to do things that make us feel safe. We will get away from things that make us hurt. Don't you?
To all those currently reading this article.
Currently, we are all alive. That is one of our similarity inside this platform. We all come here with the hope to get something.
Some wish for an income, to have extra money, to invest and personal needs. We might have different purposes but it does not vary much.
**Less than we realize.**
Despite our differences, we are almost the same. The same human that wants to live a better life. The same human that cannot run away from troubles. The same human that can decide all of it by ourselves.
This is only a burst of personal opinion. This is a similarity in my opinion.
Curation Duo #3: photography quote.
**Curation Duo #3** started and this time it is for the community **SYT: Creative Smartphones Photography (9cd6)** https://read.cash/c/syt-creative-smartphones-photography-9cd6
Mention me and @wakeupkitty in your article so that we will not miss reading yours.
Tell us some stories or quotes following the theme given below.
If you followed the first two curations, you will know that we appreciate the good quality content, starting with taking care of spelling and grammar. Included, healthy commenting.
Only one submission a day if you wish to submit daily. Please, do not spam us.
Read each other. If you cannot find each other, I have included all link in my curation duo mention article. If I miss some, let me know.
Here are the community rules.
`Mention the phone model or you could use your phone watermark.`
Requirements.
`Send your Introduction to the community` Introduce Yourself(c32c)`: recommended.` https://read.cash/c/introduce-yourself-c32c
`Layout: presentable (easy to read, especially focus)`
`Grammar and punctuation count.`
`English only.`
`Process of creation or tell us your story using photography.`
Themes for this week.
Express your photography.
For every picture, you took using your smartphone I believe there is a story or a reason behind it. For this week of curation duo, I would like to read about the story behind your picture and seeing your creativity with that photo you took.
This view is captured nearby my house and I can only see the Kinabalu Mountain clearly at this time of the day. Around in the morning if it is not raining or too cloudy.
This is how it looks after I edited it using the adobe photoshop express application from Google Play Store.
Mount Kinabalu is one of the tallest mountains and it looks tiny in this photo. That is my inspiration for writing this quote.
I do not have a closer view or a better view compared to my other friend but I am still happy to be able to capture this photo not far from my house. I can still see the mountain from my window but to capture a better shot I need to walk a bit farther away.
It is worth the morning walk.
Sometimes, I feel that I have worked a lot with a very little bit of progression only and this quote gave me the strength to carry on. I keep on having faith that if I do my best now, I will have the life I wished for in the future.
Heartbeat1515 random read #18
I have not been reading a lot of other articles other than the submission to Curation Duo #1 for my previous random read. Since I already decided to separate the mention, I can focus on one at a time.
Christians: How I Came To Salvation written by @buckeyebkd https://read.cash/@buckeyebkd/christians-how-i-came-to-salvation-06368175
This is written for the community SST: Christians, therefore if you are not a christian and want to skip it, it is alright. This is quite a refreshing read for me. The author is sharing the reason for his journey to becoming a Christian.
10 simple way to find happiness in your life written by @hassanj https://read.cash/@hassanj/10-simple-ways-to-find-happiness-in-your-life-86392825
He wrote about things that I can conclude as building more positivity in life. Perhaps this article can help some of you to change your perspective about happiness in general.
I am responsible for my sleepless nights written by @Raah_hi https://read.cash/@Raah_hi/i-am-responsible-for-my-sleepless-nights-8fe53456
I am more of the 'D' type of person when I am unable to sleep. I often let my thoughts control me and it keeps me thinking all night. I will end up getting sleepy the next day. This author has some ideas on how to solve the problem, perhaps I will give it a try. Being active is not too hard I think. It is easy to make my physical tired but the challenge for me would be to make my mind tired. I am glad to have read.cash and a few others where I can pour out my thoughts.
Respect: Give and You will Receive written by @noisytoothie https://read.cash/@noisytoothie/respect-give-and-you-will-receive-71024c48
I have the same opinion as to her. In my opinion, respect is something that we earn instead of asking someone for it. It is something I learned in my earlier days but then as I grow into an adult and start working, respect is something that is a must give to someone who has a higher rank or older than us. Regarding the older part, I agree with but sometimes when I see an adult behaving worst than a child it is unavoidable to be a little bit irritated. The values of respect that I have known before does not apply to the community I know now but if that is how the world is going to go now, I will just follow the flow and eventually it will become a normal routine or attitude for me.
Death: Is this something to be afraid of? written by @noisytoothie https://read.cash/@noisytoothie/death-is-this-something-to-be-afraid-of-6fe8d85f
What do you think of the title? I once tried to kill myself a few times before because I cannot cope with the stressful surrounding but then I come to the realization the day I got married. I am not yet ready to die. I have a lot more things to settle, to make sure that those I leave behind will not suffer after I am gone. At least they will not suffer for the things I am not able to settle during my life. Well, of course, this is my plan but it is God that decides how long I will live. He already failed my suicide before, I believe He will let me accomplish the things I need to do before giving an end to the breath he once gave me. I do not know about the afterlife but I do have a lot of perception in my own mind. Have a read on what the author wrote about this.
HERACLITUS and the ideas of his time @written by @cesarandresdp https://read.cash/@cesarandresdp/heraclitus-and-the-ideas-of-his-time-e22e453f
I need to re-read this one again for my weakness is to keep my focus on reading a long article at a time. Perhaps if you could read this with me it'll help me a lot. Leave your comment on this article(not here) and I will read it there.
Most of the reading is from my moderation queue and I guess I read two articles from the same author too. I hope you enjoy reading and please help me with the last mention. I would like to know what you think about it. Thank you in advance.
Curation Duo List of mention #1
I am going to divide the random read curation and curation duo mention into two different articles because I felt that my previous random read was a bit messy. It is also for it to be easier for me and @wakeupkitty to find the submission. If we missed you, just let us know in the comment below and if you have extra time to read, do give a visit to the other submission.
Now is currently Curation Duo #2 for the community SST: Christians.
@wakeupkitty
Christian & Restrictions (The original announcement) https://read.cash/@wakeupkitty/christians-restrictions-6a172e49
She has a different view regarding the Christian way of living and I do not blame her. She has experiences different childhood and reading from her always give me a wake-up call in reviewing my own life as a Christian. Some said, being born as a Christian does not make one a Christian. In my opinion, Christian is attitude and she is my good samaritan.
Christians & Plagues https://read.cash/@wakeupkitty/christians-plagues-7017de4c
Plagues have existed long before and so it said too in the Bible. She reminded me of that. Praying alone will not be enough to be safe. We need to work it out ourselves too. Sunday is no longer a resting day for me because when I need the money, Sunday will be a working day for me too. If I do not work then the kitchen will be empty. In the bible, it said that God has completed all his work on the sixth day and He rested on the seventh day. If it is counted as a day of works and waiting for my work to be completed, then I can only rest after I pension which is the age of 60. If I am still alive at that time.
@heartbeat1515
Christians: Restriction and Blessings https://read.cash/@heartbeat1515/christians-restriction-and-blessings-4dc849f5
Just a little bit about my previous journey to work and the way God works miracles for me.
Christians: Somewhere inside. https://read.cash/@heartbeat1515/christians-somewhere-inside-bc2a324d
Faith in God still exists somewhere inside of me because I refuse to give up.
@Olasquare
Christians: Restriction and Blessings https://read.cash/@Olasquare/christians-restrictions-and-blessings-25cba89f
Those who work in the bank also have difficult days to go through in these days of the pandemic. This author is sharing his experiences regarding the goals to accomplish his job and being a human. God sent him an Angel too as I also have been sent an Angel. It is a refreshing story for me.
We did not get many submissions this time except for our own. Perhaps it is not easy for everyone to write for this community. I am going to announce the **Curation Duo #3 for the community Share Some Thoughts after this.**
Christians: Somewhere inside.
**Curation Duo #2** has started and you can read the announcement by @wakeupkitty. https://read.cash/@wakeupkitty/christians-restrictions-6a172e49
It has been a while since I pray or go to church. I used to think that it is a must-do activity for a christian. It does not mean that I do not pray at all. It just that I no longer show others that I pray. What is praying? I do not believe that there is a definite answer to this question.
I talk to God. I think I do. I never did hear a reply as in hearing someone else speaking but I can always see the answer I need. Every time I prayed the replies will be shown to me instead of waiting to hear an answer. Sometimes, action is more meaningful than words therefore I learn to observe more on my surrounding in silences.
So it is during this pandemic. The era of Covid-19. Living in the territory of Mr and Mrs Corona.
I can see their smiles and listen to their laughter while they are in the crowd but then when they are on their own, the true feelings arise. There that I realized that I am not the only one in troubles. Those who often laugh also have their own problem and when it is unbearable they tend to express it with anger or a rude attitude. I cannot blame them for I, myself have been doing the same.
I taught myself to have more empathy but it is not an easy task to perform compared to just typing it here. Towards God, I also need to learn to be empathetic. The world is full of people and everyone has their own prayer and God must have been busy reviewing all of them.
I am glad that I still have my job at least, compare to the other. God knows for how long I can keep my work. They said that if we work for the government we are secured but recently, I realize that it is not the total truth. There is a possibility to be fired if we are not able to keep up to the standard. When the economy drops down and there is not much budget to pay for the salaries, the amount of unemployed graduate will be increasing. Requirements for employment changed to cope with the economical problem.
During this pandemic, a lot has lost their job and lucky for us here, the government tried their best to help. Thank God for pouring kindness into the heart of the government. It might not be much but at least there is something rather than nothing. Other than that will be on our own efforts.
Some are grateful and some are complaining. That is human nature and it is unavoidable. As for me, I am grateful to have known read.cash other than the previous platform that I known before. Earning BCH here has been a great help to me during this pandemic. Furthermore, writing has always helped me to keep me sane during stressful days.
These days of the pandemic has shown me the true meaning of Good Samaritan, learn to be considerate and furthermore, learning to be more of myself.
Some people prefer to be independent and some are totally dependant. I cannot force those who want to be independent to work the way I do because what I have now is all the things that I gained through experiences and they can never feel the same as I do. As for those who are dependant, the only thing that can be done is to guide them slowly until they are capable of standing on their own feet.
Someone said to me before, ***If you want to feed someone a fish, you can give him some. Plus, teach him how to fish on his own so whenever you are not around, they still can survive.***
All submission will be compiled in one single article after I read them all.
@heartbeat1515
