To all the girls I loved before

Wherever you go, whatever you do, just stay there. I will not be here waiting. Why should I? Are you my parcel in Shopee?

See I have been to a lot of troubles when it comes to dating. You can say it too if you happen to read about my Tinder dates. I think I had two other dates untold and might write about them one of these days. I don't know but I am not just so unlucky with dating before. I am open to any suggestions, if there's any.

I think I dated more than 10 girls already since I was in High School. This generation of mine is full of curiosity which led me to exploring. I regret what I did before and if I could go back to make it up to them, I still wouldn't because I don't want to stuck myself in the situation I am done with. They must thank me too because if I stay with one of them, that someone will have a bad fortune just as I am. Lol kidding! But yeah, I am not lying when I said, it's more than 10. My batch mates before would always bet on who's going to have more girlfriends and I joined in but I do regret it now. I was just a kid then, neo kiddilets. 🤣 And I did not took relationships seriously during those days. I started becoming serious in it when I entered college.

Now, I am planning to write an open letter to all the girls I loved before. And I also think of inviting my ex who likes to send me long messages for she can surely write an article and the one who likes to eat since she can write food blogs as per @Jher0122's advice. Lol. I am writing this since I can't message them one by one. I just hope this can reach them in whatever ways the universe will give.

To all the girls I loved before:

I am sorry! Sorry is not enough. I know. If sorry is really acceptable at all times, why do we still have laws? But what can I do? I'm just a young boy, trapped in an man's body. Pursuing you was not my intention, it was just out of my mind's imagination. Imagination that I might felt love when I was with you. My friends are the one to be blamed for they called me lame because I don't have girlfriends for fame. Yes, for fame.

I am sorry if I let you pay during our dinner dates. I shouldn't do that in every dates. You ate a lot and got messy too but I did not wipe away that mess just like what movies do. I am just to shy to use my hand towards your face because I haven't washed them. I also want you to learn how to take care of yourself and not be messy when you eat because it's not always all the time you have someone with you at the table. I want you to be independent.

You should have let me explain in times you got angry, non-stop because, girl, you're just angry for nothing. You should have believed me when I say I was sleeping for I really am. You should have believed me when I said I will charge my phone for I really am. If only my mom let me, I will allow you to rent that one vacant room in our house so you can see that I am telling the truth. Over thinking sometimes, kills a relationship. And that's what happened to us. RIP relationship.

I am also sorry for those times you got angry only because I forgot our monthsary. Was it really necessary? Forgive me if I did not greet you those times. It's better to forget monthsaries than to forget you. You wouldn't like it.

Thank you for all the dates we made memorable. I enjoyed those times when you said you got butterflies when we're together so I hugged you but then you just shrugged and told me you're hungry. And so I brought you to the nearest drugstore, I mean restaurant. I am so happy with those days we held each other's hand but then the day came when you found out the truth about me. That I was just betting on you and you are so angry because I did not told you so you can bet on yourself too. Seriously?

To all the girls I loved before, I have so much to say but I will just keep this simple.

I am sorry.

Thank you.

I hope I'll never see you again because I know you wish the same too.

Sincerely, but not yours,

John

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