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The Love I Never Had

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Avatar for charmingcherry08
Written by   288
2 months ago

Letting go was the most challenging part, especially when you had nothing to hold on to in the first place. I have another story to tell, and this one is about a heartache I endured years ago. It is about the love I never had and felt from a man. Though this happened years ago, I still want to consider sharing it here since the story was interesting. What are we waiting for? Let me get it started.


We were high school classmates, and we are in our 10th grade when we finally felt the spark. No, I was just the one who thought it first. It started when we are with our friends, and we played “truth or dare.” The bottle pointed at me, and I chose dare. Someone dared me to kiss one guy in the circle, and I did not think twice about kissing the guy, then I felt the spark. Later on, we never talked about that kiss since we are still young to take that as a big deal.

When we graduated from high school, we started talking in the first months of the next academic year. We are so comfortable, and I know that he and I had a thing. He did not confess anything to me nor say he loves me. I admit that I did love him first. You cannot blame me because he is a sweet boy back then. We stopped our thing without even verifying what it was because I saw him with another girl.

One day, I am with my friends, and I saw him holding an umbrella for a girl. I felt a deep cut in my chest, and I stopped talking to him. I walked away without any word, explanation, and even question. I do not want to make myself look like a fool, so I did not ask him.

Years passed, and I had a relationship with someone. And I basically forget about him.

We were turning 1st-year college when destiny hit us once again. It was funny that we lived in the same boarding house, which is too challenging for me. Even with the years that passed, I can feel how my feelings began to grow. I see him every day, eat with him, and he was a jerk for showing motives to me.

He showed me the same affection and care. I do not know why I felt butterflies while staring at his eyes. I know that it was love before, and I am confused because I am in a relationship with someone during that time.

I tried to ask myself why and how did it happen. We are not talking for years, but my feelings are still there. One night, we had a drink, and he asked me if we could talk. I said yes, and we talked about ourselves. I asked him about the girl I saw, and he explained everything to me.

He cannot reach me out before and felt confused why I stopped talking to him. And he chose to leave to me, he said. I saw that he has feelings for me too, but he keeps on holding it. He told me how much he missed me, but it was too late. Then, I realized he was afraid of commitment, and he is not ready for it. It was not the right time for us.

There was a moment when he looked at me with too much longingness, and I asked him why. I needed to hear that he loves me, but he never gave that. I never heard him say those words, but his actions are definitely saying it. I cannot just assume, and I needed assurance.

He left nothing but confusion before. Then I stopped waiting for his words and decided to walk on my path. I walked away with a lot of questions, but I learned how to handle them.

Maybe he loved me too, but I never had to experience that. Now, we are good friends, and we sometimes joke around about our past. I always describe him as my “Great Love,” even if we never had an official relationship. He is not my ex, but the experience he brought to me and the undying love for him proved it. He is my great love, but I never had it from him.

End of Article


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Date Published: August 4, 2021

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Written by   288
2 months ago
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Comments

My artikol din akong ganito Ang title hehe. Ganon tlga siguro , may mga one great love tyo na Hindi Naman natin makakatuluyan.

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User's avatar Yen
2 months ago

Opo, ate. Ganyan yung na-realize ko lately. We all have that one great love we never had. Hehe. It was painful that time, pero kapag naiisip ko nga, blessing in disguise siya. Kasi it contributed to my better self.

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2 months ago

Masakit, but maybe it was for the best. Good friends na naman kayo ngayon, and as I see it, you're both happier. Who knows? In your next life, you will be perfect for each other, just at the right time.

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2 months ago

I don't think I'll dream for that. Kasi I'm happy with my relationship right now na eh. Wala na akong hihilingin. It was too painful before but I'm proud that I get through it alone, without asking him the questions I longed to be answered. Sometimes those moments are blessing in disguise to make you a better version of yourself. ♥️

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2 months ago

Ang hirap ng ganyan, my gosh! Kaya minsan, need ng mga babae to speak up, be strong, asked what we needed to hear para magkaalaman na at di umasa sa wala.

I think the guy is like what you said, takot sa commitment. Or pwede din na baka takot sya na masira friendship nyo or pwede din na pinaglalaruan ka nya. Anyways, whatever it is, at least happy ka with your love ngayon..

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2 months ago

Opo ate. I was full of questions before too. Sobrang dami kong tanong sa sarili ko at gustong itanong sa kanya pero I chose to keep quiet. Buti nalang nga masaya na ako ngayon, and we remained as friends which is good for the both of us.

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2 months ago

Buti na lang kasi king hindi, andame mong "Sana Pala".. By the way app ba yun duplichecker na gamit mo beh?

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2 months ago

Hindi ate. Puro site po yang tatlo na gamit ko.

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2 months ago

Ah okay beh, salamat..

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2 months ago

Welcome ate. ♥️

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2 months ago

Ano yan pinaasa ka lang haha, nubayan sad nmn

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2 months ago

Oo ate. Haha. Nakakainis nga po.

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2 months ago