How far can you go when you are helping a friend?

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3 years ago
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Topics: Personal Blog, Experiences

It's really in our nature that we tend to help our friends when they needed a hand but how far can you go through? How patient are you and what are the reasons why friendship can be ruined in one snap?

I have friends who help me financially and one of them is my friend Mariang Rosas also known as immaryandmerry. We've been friends since senior high school and the pandesal that worth 2 pesos or $0.04 had a big impact on our friendship. Her simple food treats, her advices and many more but she loves to make fun of me, she's a bully president :) and giving and helping each other makes us happy. When we had a social experiment we also had a chance to meet amazing persons that even they are the who need a hand, they didn't even blink twice just to help us. Generosity is within us. I guess. You have reasons or not, when you are willing to help, you will help.

I can say that I am a good friend indeed. I mean, when you need me, as long as I can, I will help in a way that I can. I already shared before the generosity within me where I shared how I easily trust a person. Even though we really don't know each other in person and we just met online. I always ask myself cause they always said that I am so stupid when I am helping but is it really my fault that I trust a person or is it their fault that they hurt me. Let me tell a short story about my two friends, one is my friend for almost 6 years now and the other one is a virtual friend of mine for 2 months.

Let us call her Dana not her real name, we became friends when I was a 15-year-old kid who started to work at a very young age. Of course, she knows how hard I struggle in life and she is there when I needed someone to talk to. Fast forward we became friends and I know she's not rich but she act like one to be fitted on what they call "high class students " in short I can describe her as a social climber because she has iphobe but doesn't have money for internet connection, she have fancy clothes but never ever had enough money to buy essentials, she have a rich boyfriend which make her uhm nvm. So she borrowed some money on me but it's been a year yet she can't pay me. I mean it's understandable because they are poor too, I just need an explanation about what happened. She didn't even bother to reply on my messages and now it's already 2 years. I don't know what to say, is it really my fault? that I trusted her but just because of the money she wasn't able to pay, she also forget what are friends are for. I always saw her post on her social media accounts and act like she doesn't have something to be resolved.

The next person is a guy a who happened that I met on noise.cash. He's a good guy and he had a baby who needs milk. So, as a good friend, whe he ask for money, I didn't think twice and helped him. You know I learned to give to someone not because I have something to give but because I know the exact feeling to have nothing and it really drained me. I was crying for my school allowances, school uniforms, books and even personal needs. Having nothing, I know the exact feeling so my heart easily melted when someone is saying that they don't have any at all. Based on my observations, he indeed helped a lot of users back then but the thing is when the greediness hit him up, he lose everything and even his hard earned money. It's been a month when he asked me but after that I never seen him online. That's the sad thing, he also got scammed and I do not know if he can still pay me or not but still wishing for the health of his baby. I just wanted to say that all I need is simple explanation and I am willing to accept whatever you can give, just tell me how it went. I just need some explanation that you didn't lied to me, that all of your reasons are true because if not, is it really my fault that I trusted the one that I called as a friend?

I also have one friend who borrowed a $100 to me. She knows I have some since I just get my scholarship allowance back then, she needed money because her money was taken away by her mother, it is supposed to be for her selling activity but they used the money for emergency purposes. That time, I also needed my money to buy a new phone for online class but she needed it the most. Sad thing when I got to know that she leave their house with her sister, I don't know what happened next when her mother visited me looking for her. She promised me that she will pay me when we get our allowance again so I said yes cause why not? She is my friend and she needs help. Fortunately, she was able to pay me and I am so happy for her when she decided to go back to her home with her family. At the end, she visited me and hugged me so tight and saying how thankful she is to havd me. Oh well, I wish to leave with her but the planned didn't happen since she go back to her family. I am just so happy that I was able to help her.

They also know that I suffer financially and they are lucky enough that their parents are supporting them. I just don't get it but why does it feel that I was the one whois begging? Why do I feel shy when I was the one an explanation. Why is it me who feel scared to talk about it. Why do I feel that they willbe angry if I reminded them with their debt. Am I the one who ask for a help? Why because of money, I lose my friends. Why they are ignoring me? Is it really my fault?

Author's Note:

Article #82 (July 27, 2021)

Hi! Thank you for reading my article today! I really appreciate your visit and if you have any violent reactions, feel free to write them down in the comment section. Again, Thank you for dropping by.

In case you want to be connected with my life, you can also find me in the following social media account that I have.


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Written by
3 years ago
In community: Open For All(cc80)
Topics: Personal Blog, Experiences

Comments

You're really a good friend. Can we be friends too? Hahaha

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User's avatar gojosatoru11
3 years ago

Ako dati masyado din akong mabait sa mga naging kaibigan ko hanggang sa nagkaroon ako ng kaibigan na Pera lang ang habol kaya kinaibigan niya ako. Pero sakin wala lang yon kasi atleast nakatulong ako sakanya hanggang ngayon hindi manlang siya nangangamusta tapos bigla bigla magchachat mangungutang lang minsan magchachat loadan ko daw. Kaya simula non sinasabi ko malang palagi wala na akong pera kase sobra na siya makapag uto sakin. Marami pa naman akong kaibigan na totoo kaya hinayaan ko na siya

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User's avatar Caroline17
3 years ago

Napakagenerous kasi but there's nothing wrong with that. Sila naman ang mali pero next time ingat ha. (Coming from me na ganyan din ang kinahahantungan lol) pero ayon, mag ingat tayo. It's okay to be kind, to be generous and to be all that good pero hindi kasi lahat nakakabuti for us. It's not being selfish, it's more on protecting ourselves and the friendship we have with them.

Napaisip tuloy ako, ang dami ko din pautang e tapos rich naman siya kuno tapos di na nagbayad. Or nalimot na totally? Haha. Ayon nag move on na nga lang ako.

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User's avatar immaryandmerry
3 years ago

Nakakarelate ako dito. As in Yung mga kaklase ko nung 4th year, barkada nila yung pinaka mayaman saamin. So ayon parang kapag babarkada ka talaga ng mayaman makikigaya kana din sakanila kahit walang wala naman talaga. Meron din akong kaibigan na nagpasama saakin doon sa bayan. Ang sabi niya sakin, sama lang magpapakulay siyang buhok niya and then nung time na kainan na namin, kumuha lang ako ng baso saglit kasi wala kaming baso and then nung pauwi na di niya sinabi sakin na uuwi siya sa kabilang bayan. Nagulat ako kasi nagsakay siya ng bus namamaalam pa nga tapos din aako nakapag salita nung umandar na ung sinasakyan niya. Then, uuwi na dapat ako. Tinignan ko yung wallet ko wala na yung 200 ko don. As in pati pagkain niya ako yung nagbayad. May pang kulay siya ng buhok nya, wala siyang pangbayad ng pagkain. 🤦🏻‍♀️ Eto pa masaklap, nalaman ko nalang na tinangay niya ung sweldo ng mga kasama niya na nagturo ng sayaw. Kahig di naman siya inassign na mag turo, nakituro siya. Tapos ganon pa gagawin niya sa mga kasama niya. Nalaman nalang din namin na nasa Rizal siya 😂 nung sinisingil via palawan wala daw palawan doon HAHAHAHA

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User's avatar ExpertWritter
3 years ago

You have a good heart. I hope that God will protect that heart of yours from being taken advantage of. Do guard it with diligence. "Proverbs 4:23 - Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life." - New Living Translation

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User's avatar Just1dood
3 years ago

'Di ko pa na-try magpahiram sa mga friends ko kasi alam din nila na hirapa ko noon. Ngayon pwede na siguro, pero dahil nadala na ako sa kakapahiram sa mga kapatid ni Mama na di naman nagbabalik kahit minsan? Pipiliin ko na lang pahihiramin ko. Ang hirap kasi kapag pera na pinag-uusapan eh. Okay lang sana kung minsan pero maraming beses? Ay no no. Di naman pagiging madamot 'to hano? 😅

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User's avatar imanagrcltrst
3 years ago

In my opinion, lending ur money to someone possess a great risk. Kasi tulad nung una, maliban sa di nya nabayaran yung utang, nawala pa friendship nyo. I guess sa sobrang hiya nya sayo, di ka na nya pinansin pa? Siguro wala syang mukhang maiharap dahil sa inutang nya. Pero I guess it depends on the person pa rin naman.

There's nothing wrong with u. Kung tutuusin yung mga taong lumapit sayo ang may problema. Sila ung problematic

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User's avatar kli4d
3 years ago

I salute you sis of your generosity. You're such a kindhearted to your friends even they didn't pay you back, God from the above is always seeing with your kindness and he will bless you more.🙏❤️

God bless you sis...🙏❤️

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User's avatar JRamona20
3 years ago

Hay nako bully president nga haha. Bully ako sa comment section sa nc ah. Sumasakit na tuhod ko sakako "po" haha. Masarap ang feeling kapag nakatulog ka yun na lng isipin mo. May mga tao talaga na pag about sa utang ang hirap mag bayad. Hahaha relate ako dyan. Kya ayun di na talaga nabayaran at inisip ko na lng na atleast nakatulog ako sa kanya kahit kapos din ako.

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User's avatar Marvinskie
3 years ago

Helping others can give us alam mo yun di ko maexplain pero i think it's happiness. haha. kasi naniniwala ako na it's better to give than to receive. Though sometimes sa sobrang bait mo yung iba naman abusado. I have a friend too na humiram though 500 lang naman then nung siningil ko kasi need ko wala mang binigay hanggang ngayon kaya pinabayan ko na lang but I said to myself last na yun. haha. We're still friend pa din naman pero parang may gap na after nun. hehe

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User's avatar Gracee
3 years ago

I saw how generous you are, we've been team up one time to help a friend of mine. We've manage to earn enough money for her even though I knew that you sacrifice a day of earning for her but its good to help right. We have the same attitude, I also giving money to my friend who need it the most even though I have nothing, Im just thinking that his situation is worst than mine. I didn't count it as a debt but a help. And now I have no money, can I borrow some?. haha

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User's avatar Codename_Chikakiku
3 years ago

Naiinis ako sa mama ko na ayaw umamin ng pagkakamali at para naman kasing inabuso ni mama kabaitan ng tita ko kaya nagtampo. Naiinis ako sa kanilang dalawa. Yung mama ko, ang hilig magpasabay tapos yung tita ko, pakialamera. Anyhow, kami na lang nagadjust

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User's avatar kingofreview
3 years ago

Hmmm, diko pa naranasan na mautangan gawa ng wala namang akong maipapautang kaya wala rin akong ma-say. Pero sa kay Mommy, base lang sa nakikita ko kay mommy, walang hiya yon ee. Saka dahilan nya, bat sya mahihiya ee siya itong inutangan. Kaya ayon, ipapaalala nya talaga kahit ilang beses para naman mawala na ung kapal ng mukha nong nangutang sa kanya at ng magbayad na.

Sayo naman, masyado ka kasing mabait, mapag tiwala. Well, if friend naman talaga syempre magtitiwala tayo dun, even me. Nagtiwala tayo kasi friends, ngayon pag sinira nila ung trust natin, sila na ang may kasalanan non. Never again na makakaulit. Pero agree ako na sana manlang magbigay ng kahit isang rason lang why walang bayadan na nagaganap. Aguyy buti nalang wala akong friend dito kaya walang mangungutang sakin.

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User's avatar Ruffa
3 years ago

Helpers are life givers, at times without someone helping you, you can't achieve your goal

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User's avatar adereign
3 years ago

Helping others should be in a way that you will not be hurt. You can't claim to be helping someone at the detriment of your life.

If a friend comes to me to borrow something, I don't do beyond my power. I only give whatever I feel I can let go of.

So, even if they don't return I won't be hurt.

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User's avatar QueenRay
3 years ago

I'm not hurt when I helped them, I am hurt because our friendship is gone just because of that.

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User's avatar carisdaneym2
3 years ago

True, friendship should not be lost as a result of this.

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User's avatar QueenRay
3 years ago

Yan ang mahirap kapag masyado tayong mabait. Inaabuso ng iba yung kabaitan natin eh. Hindi naman masama mangutang basta marunong lang magbayad. Pinaghirapan din natin yung pera na inutang nila. Pero ipasaDiyos na lang natin sis. Ang Diyos na ang bahala sa kanila.

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User's avatar Yzza0625
3 years ago

Helping other people is in our nature but there's an extent to it. Help as you want but also save for the rainy days. It is never your fault to trust them, they are just ungrateful for the kindness you've done to them. I don't lend money to other people because I don't want to remind them that they owe me money. They'll pay if they want to.

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User's avatar WanderingMedStudent
3 years ago

Oh .. Reading this reminded me of someone who owes me last month. LOL. I almost forgot. She said she'll pay me when her Gcash works properly. until now, no hi, nor ho. 😂 It was just a small amount though.. compared to yours.

Same here, gurl.. I am the one who's shy to collect them payments, hahaha! Idk why! 😂

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User's avatar Ellehcim
3 years ago

Hahaha same I really don't know why pero nakakahiya talaga maningil tapos ang sama pa ng tingin sayo😂

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User's avatar carisdaneym2
3 years ago

True! Haynaku..

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User's avatar Ellehcim
3 years ago

Ganun tlga mga tao. Kpg mangungutang mababait .kpg sisingilin sla pa galit. Dahil sa mga ganung tao. Nalugi lending business ni papa.. Kya ako nsa abroad ngayon.
Kya hndi na tlga ako nagtitiwala sa mga taong mangungutang kht kilala ko pa.. Kapal muks kc kpg sisingilin. Yung tipong prang ikaw pa may utang.. Lol

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User's avatar Jane
3 years ago

Ayun haha iniisip ko nalang sana nakatulong iyon sa kanila. Masarap sana ulam nila😂

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User's avatar carisdaneym2
3 years ago
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