@ZehraSky 1 December 2021

It'll all be worth it

Are you starting to doubt the journey you're taking? Almost in the verge of stopping? Are you regretting leaving? Do you still think about the what ifs? Dear, trust me, everything you're going through right now are worth it. From the pain to the struggle, everything has it's reason. Never think of going back again to place that used to be your hell. Be strong to stand with your choice. Never discredit your suffering to be where you at right now. You are almost there, almost to get better. Do not go back to a safe side that done nothing but breaks you. I actually broke down days ago. I felt overwhelmed for an unknown reason. I am grateful that I have work, but I felt tired. I am happy but I think there's something missing. I started to miss what I am before but I am thankful to who I am right now. These contradicting thoughts bombarded my mind like grenade. I kept hearing those voices and kept fighting back, until crying is my only option. Maybe it is a late reaction for my red days syndrome. I cried silently during work because I felt like quitting. I don't know why but this is the easiest work I had have but I don't feel that this is the right place that I'm looking at for growth. I am too scared to move forward because I felt that I might lose something I will never get back. I know I'm happy. I know I'm ok, I just don't know why do I missed the thought of being cared of. My vulnerability is starting to show its color again, but I can't be weak for I am the eldest on the family, I have to be strong. Lately, we've encountered problems that might trigger these thoughts that I have. Adding to that is, I no longer have time to be alone because my sibling started to live with me. I just want peace and time to think for myself and settle whatever's bugging me. I will never disregard how hard I fought just to be here, I won a lot of battle. I guess I just got carried away by how fast changing my work is right now. From its metrics down to schedule changes, made me felt tired of being controlled and can't do anything about it because they are my bosses. I am slowly adjusting to the change and good thing is I started to have a clear mind. I want to confide my problem to someone, but I don't think I'll ever grow if I still think of being dependent to someone whenever I faced a problem. I don't want to fall inlove out of vulnerability. So sorry to those I ghosted because I'm still trying to be the best version of myself. When I'm ready, I do not expect you to be there, but I want to tell you that I don't enter a relationship half assed, for the sake of both of us. You'll find the girl who can reciprocate the love you give. Not the person who still has issues on her own. To whomever there that is overthinking the same way I do. Those who can't even say it clear, I am with you. It's ok, where gonna get through this just like how we never thought we were before. It's ok to cry, to be sad and missed the past, eveything will be worth it. The best is yet to come. Keep fighting, brave soul. **Thank you for reading this article!** If you want to read some more articles of mine, I have monthly summaries here: ****October 2021 Articles Summary**** https://read.cash/@ZehraSky/october-2021-articles-summary-1293a999 ****September 2021 Articles Summary**** https://read.cash/@ZehraSky/september-2021-articles-summary-7febda16 ****August 2021 Articles Summary**** https://read.cash/@ZehraSky/august-2021-articles-summary-cb068f97 ****July 2021 Articles Summary**** https://read.cash/@ZehraSky/july-2021-articles-summary-fc106569 ****June 2021 Articles Summary**** https://read.cash/@ZehraSky/june-2021-articles-summary-baeb334f ****May 2021 Articles Summary**** https://read.cash/@ZehraSky/may-2021-articles-summary-5ba6d0c7 To show my appreciation for the support that I have been receiving, please accept a small gift I prepared for the first reader. https://branch.wallet.bitcoin.com/EtpSYd8pDlb