Everyone started their writing journey in different ways. Some started theirs right here at this very platform, trying to earn some BCH to help with their needs. Some maybe started at noise.cash then found themselves here. There are some who are already writers but never found a place to share their works. Some have tried writing in multiple places. Some started writing with the purpose of earning from it, and there are some who just want to write for the sake of writing, without worrying about the strict and confusing rules of the language.
Thank you to my wonderful sponsors.No matter where we started, each one of us has a specific reason for why we took the first step. But sometimes we forget about the reason why we still continue to move forward. Is it still the same reason as the one when we started? Or did it change as time passes? Did the reasons multiply? Or did you scrap some reasons that no longer apply to your current situation?
Personally, I started writing a few years ago. Most times it was just some poem that is not required academically here and there. But after a while I would get tired of doing it and stop.
It wasn't until Grade 10 that I started to turn to writing to chase the demons away. The demons I am referring to are of course not literal, but they still feel very real to me.
I almost failed that battle, and almost gave in but thankfully I managed to move forward. Since then, writing has been my refuge, my safe haven.
When I started a writing blog on Tumblr back in 2017, I started it with no expectations of anything. I just wanted a place to dump all my thoughts in. I mostly write poems, since it is easier for me. I felt happy when users started to notice me.
However, it was not until I received the comment, "thank you for having the words for the feelings I have" that I started to feel like a "real" poet back then. Being told that I was able to put into words what someone else's was experiencing made everything around me stop.
That was then I knew why I will continue on writing. I will write for that one person. No, not the specific one that told me that before. But for anyone who might need words for their emotions. I will write for someone who needed the words to feel understood and seen.
Even if just one person felt something when they read my words, then I already consider my efforts worth it.
Even if it's just one who felt like someone understand them, then I succeeded.
Even if it's just one person who will feel motivated or encouraged, then I have done well.
As time passed, I actually started to forget about this feeling. The feeling of seeing words as powerful. Hard times made me forget a part of myself that I promised not to.
But over time, I am slowly digging back pieces of myself that I buried long ago. It's the same kind of feeling when you clean your room after a long time and you started to find things that you thought were lost long ago. That nostalgic feeling accompanied by an inexplicable sense of wonder.
That is what I felt when I remember why. Sure, I write to share my thoughts. I write to share what I experience. But I do that in hopes that someone will relate to it.
I think that many times, we believe ourselves to be in a battle that no experienced before, but seeing some words that resonate with us makes us relieved in a way. Maybe that is why many of us gets attached to certain songs that speak to us.
I cannot, of course, go back to the way I have been writing before. When I wrote those words, I was in a dark place that I felt like I will never overcome it. So I wrote about it.
However, by now I do not have much urge to share those words anymore. I fear that sharing one will lead me to share more of it. And I might stumble and fall down that rabbit hole again.
I guess I just do not want to focus more on my certain feelings that made me start writing in the first place. I remember that in Tumblr, we were just struggling kids trying to keep each other alive even as we all just want to drown.
It made me feel like I have a place I belonged to. But now, instead of being a part of the drowning kids, I want to be some sort of figure that I only wished to see or hear about back then.
A living proof of the phrase, "it gets better". When I was stuck in a dark place, that words were just something I scoffed at. But now, I realized that things do get better with time.
Of course, problems still arise. Better does not necessarrily guarantee a life free of problems, but the problems will seem smaller even if they are about big life decisions.
Of course, there are times that I also stumble and find myself back into that dark place again. But now, I know that I can get out of that place and that there are things out there for me. It will be incredibly hard to remember, which means that you need to be able to remind yourself about the good times.
I found that writing helps me with that but it could be anything for you. Maybe plants, or some paintings, or taking photographs. Just try to make sure you have something to go back to. Something like an anchor so thay you do not get swept up by the waves.
An anchor is not meant to slow us down or drag us to the ocean floor. It's there to make sure that we can do not get swept up by larger waves that might have led us to the middle of no where. Sp think carefully abot what you choose as an anchor.
Closing words
I wrote this in the morning of the 29th of September 2021 but I know I will not be able to publish it until October so I am just taking notes of it haha.
10.04.21
I am not going to lie, I did not re-read this article but guess what? I am still going to publish it anyway HAHA.
10.8.21
Okay, I lied. I did not publish it immediately HAHA. But only because I got busy with something else.
Right now, I missed a few days of publishing so I am going through my drafts to publish the ones that are ready to be published haha.
Thank you for reading this article!
If you want to read some more articles of mine, I have monthly summaries here:
September 2021 Articles Summary
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Hilig ko na talaga mag sulat dati pa student palang ako pero puro tula lang ang aking ginagawa, kaya sobrang laking tulong din sakin nitong readcash dahil natuto ako mag sulat ng mga stories ,mahirap siya pero kakayanin haha . Sa pagsusulat dyan kasi natin nailalabasan ang ating mga saloobin kaya nag eenjoy tayo :) minsan lang sa sobrang maraming pumapasok naiiba ang kwento haha