The start of December is a very busy affair for me. I barely have time to breathe let alone spend time doing things I like. Between my responsibilities as a daughter and student, I am so beat.
Last December 2, we are officially sworn into office as student leaders. After that I had to take a quiz. Then I needed to do more activities.
I thought I could rest for a bit yesterday but we had a webinar about what is expected of us as student leaders. This webinar lasted from 8:00AM to past 5:30PM. My day did not end there, I attended another class until 6:30PM.
As soon as I hit the bed last night, I was asleep. I only woke up at 12:00AM since I could hear my sisters moving around as they eat puto bumbong. I ate as well then slept again.
Thankfully, I managed to sleep in for a bit. I got out of bed at 9:00am instead of the usual 6:30AM. I needed to attend another webinar today. This time it is about PLC programming. It is an informative webinar and will definitely be helpful in my course.
Then I did more activities. From 15 activites, they are finally down to 3. I am making progress slowly but surely haha. The finals is about to come so I needed to do this since I do not want to encounter any problems.
I am actually just so drained the past few days that I just wanna sleep all day but I know I can't do that. It is frustrating because I know that the semester is about to end yet I have no energy to even feel excitement. I just really want it all to end.
The days are blurring into one another and I find it hard to distinguish when one starts and ends. These days I feel like I have been living deadline to deadline. Granted that I pass most of my activities ahead of time, but still I feel drained.
No matter how well I try to manage my time, it does not seem enough HAHA. I just feel like I should do more.
I sometimes find myself imagining a world where I did not choose this course. Maybe I would still be tired but maybe I will find it satisfying.
Well honestly, I like some parts of my course but I also hate a lot of it. I wish I could say that I am happy and that I feel fulfilled when I do things related to my course but I am not.
I am happiest when I use my hands to create. I feel more like myself when I hold a crochet hook and yarn not when I am holding a pen and ruler. Paint brushes call more to me than calculators.
If I had known that I will feel this way, I would have been more honest with myself before I made the decision to study this course.
The only saving grace of these draining weeks is my partner being so understanding. I remember yesterday, I left him on read and then I fell asleep. But he understood it so I was able to rest without facing an angry partner. I am just thankful that I still have someone who cheers me on even as I struggle.
Thank you for reading this article!
If you want to read some more articles of mine, I have monthly summaries here:
September 2021 Articles Summary
To show my appreciation for the support that I have been receiving, please accept a small gift I prepared for the first reader.
Woahh that's a lot. You really have a productive days though it drained your energy too bad.