How To Deal With Toxic Coworkers

I’m now much less of an asset to the company than I could be. I keep my head down and for self-preservation just do my work with little conversation with anyone. Yet the irony is this: in my self-preservation, I’m actually destroying myself. In bottling up my unexpressed feelings, I’m making myself sick emotionally and physically -  Gary Chapman

The joy of division of labour is when tasks are shared with love, peace and harmony. This is what makes up a healthy workplace, and the desire of everyone. Sometimes we are lucky to be in an environment filled with lively and good people that we could easily relate with while other times, it seems we are being made to pay the price of a sin we are yet to commit, so we are stuck with toxic people as colleagues in our offices.

Toxicity could range from physical to emotional attacks. All having the same goal of making you loss focus and passion for your job. They could go to extent of tarnishing our image before other colleagues and even our boss.

Their main goal  is to make you unhappy, dissatisfied and worried. Most times, will always trigger you into a fight which may not end well in your favour. It is really a fun thing, living in your house to get bullied at work. A lot of people have quitted their jobs because of this while others have shown to have decreased productivity levels.

Working with a toxic person, might hinder your growth rate, as you will be afraid to express what you feel. Since you are not sure of what they like or dislike. It often gets us into unnecessary problems, a toxic coworker is worst than a bad tyre and for growth, it is either they are changed or you are changed. You don't need such energy in your life as you might not make noticeable progress.

Have mapped out few steps on how we can work in the same environment with a toxic person, without much effect on our progress;

1) Know Your Limits: This is required from us, even when we don't work with toxic people. You don't have to be too available or a little bit too simple. A lot of people will tend to abuse such opportunity. Clearly, Noticed when we have a toxic colleague, who uses our simplicity to make demands way too bigger than could be solved. 

Let's assume, your job is to proof read mails, reply to them and tender reports to your boss. While your toxic coworker's duty was to summarise them, arrange and keep a monthly records. If out of your goodwill, you offer to help in handling his/her aspect of the job, be ready to work till the end. Such people feel entitled to everything including what they are paid for. 

That's why it is advisable, you keep a low profile and avoid going to do other people's task, as most times, you could perform such task perfectly and so end the praises of your employer. That could also trigger hatred among your colleagues. Learn to be focused on your task and yours alone.

2) Avoid Gossips: Funny how we are comfortable discussing about other people or enjoy discussions about other people. Such activities could expose us to unwarranted relationship and also tends to expose us to office bullies. You are not to mingle in office gist, while everyone is busy talking about their employer or colleague who is absent, do well to remain quiet, it could be a trap to lure you into trouble. They often forget about all that others said and reports yours to whoever was talked about. To avoid such issues, it's best you maintain a no listing profile excerpts it's on official matters.

Official matters shouldn't be discussed with toxic people, they could steal your ideas and get all the praise. Remember, all they ever want is to outshine you. 

Avoid giving too much information about yourself. It also curbs unnecessary attentions and tongue wagging. Nothing dreads human like realising they know, little about you. So keep a low profile, avoid gossips and be focused on your duties.

3) Don't Change For Them: You are amazing and peace loving so why do you want to adopt a lifestyle, you will later regret. The adage 'if you can't beat them, join them" shouldn't be employed in matters like this, you have to maintain your sanity and avoid being counted as one of them. 

The Bible talked about maintaining peace with all men, I will advice you take up such measure with your toxic colleague. No matter how many times, they will trouble you, overstep their boundaries, learn not to change. It confers dignity and self respect, if needs be for an action, it will be stated in the next point that follows.

4) React Appropriately: Your troublesome colleague tantrum could get to a point, where you are fed up and you just want to show the stuff you are made of. It's fine, we are all humans with emotions and so moments occur when it gets overflow. 

You don't have to fight them physically or exchange words with them. It is appropriate you report to the appropriate body. If you are working in a company, school, etc it is advisable you report such colleague to the disciplinary committee for queries. Though this could intensify their hostility, but it will create in them the awareness of being watched by the authority. Don't fight a toxic person, for they have nothing to lose but you have a lot to loss. Be wise when dealing with them.

5) Be Official Around Them: Being too open with such people could give them advantage to cause more damage to you, both physically, emotionally and otherwise. Avoid unnecessary conversations and learn to maintain closed-end questions. This helps curb being frustrated by such people in your daily task. 

Your questions should either require a "Yes or No" response. This avoids unnecessary lies and bitter expressions by them. Most of your conversation should be done through mails, it keeps track of their actions and words and it will help minimise attacks.

6) You Are Free To Quit: I know a lot of people don't wanna be painted as a coward, so they will want to stay. But of what use is your stay when you are being bullied everyday? You don't have to stay when it is at the expense of your sanity. No! You are wrong. 

If after taking necessary steps and it's still not yielding a better result, quit your job or apply for a transfer to another department. You don't need negativity when it comes to productivity.

Stay positive and have a blessed week ahead.

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