Selfish Thoughts

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Avatar for Sequoia
2 years ago
Date: September 4,2021
Author: Sequoia

"Life is not a race. Goals are attainable when the time is right. Effort and time are the best sacrifices you can offer to achieve the desires of your heart and plans in your mind. However, don't overly push yourself. Too much of everything isn't good for you. Breath and take it easy. Trust the process. Everything will surely fall into their proper places when their perfect time comes. Above all, always remember to prioritize your happiness and peace. Don't be pressured by your surroundings, you aren't a pressure cooker."

Those were the unedited and exact words that the person in the mirror have said to me. I can't stop myself but to shed a tear while looking at my reflection. That girl is right. I've been so hard to myself this past few weeks. And that led me to have a very stressful face.

The words that she uttered surely creates a great awakening deep inside my whole being. Once again, I look at myself in the mirror. Big and black eyebags, frizzy hair, oily face, dry lips and zits all over my round and small face.

It's been a while now since I last stared at myself intensely. I haven't notice that behind this smiling lips, is heart that's been broken into pieces.

Yes, I laugh. I smile. I can even throw some jokes unto you. But all those things were not true. I made them up to cover what is really going on inside of my heart. This is me, your pretentious tree.

________________________

Woooaaah! Wait a minute. That was a quite depressing intro. Isn't it?

Maybe some of you are curious about where is that all coming from? The dramas and the melancholic words. Well, to tell you honestly? I don't even know. Maybe I just reached my limitations and my heart couldn't take it anymore. That's why, it explodes.

Speaking of explosion, what was the first thing that comes to your mind when you are hear this word?

Destruction?

Violence?

Bomb?

Those were the common description that we commonly hear when we talk about explosion. And most of the time, it always brought fear and weariness to those people who hear it.

But did you know that explosion doesn't just happens on the outside world? It can happen to us. Within us. We are all like a bomb and can explode anytime. Sometimes, it takes just a snap.

Just like a balloon that is full of air, we humans are also filled of different emotions.

Emotions that we choose to hide because we thought that it will just eventually go away. However, things work very different inside of us. The more we suppress what we feel, the more it grows. And when we finally reach our limitation, that is the moment that we will explode.

That is the reason why it is very important for us to deal with our emotions and not just neglect it. Vent it out. You can cry it out. You are allowed to be mad. You can be sad. There's no reason for you to hide those things because it's all normal. You are a human and you have emotions. Find someone that you trusted and tell her everything you want and feel.

________________________

I've gone too far already. That is actually not my topic but my finger just love to work on its own. Anyways, this just all started this afternoon.

I am stressed and stuck between withdrawing my earnings or just leave it alone.

Well, leaving it alone means we also have nothing to eat and to pay for our bills. So obviously, I was left no choice but to withdraw it and say goodbye to my 1BCH goal before this year ends.

Thinking about it makes me wanna cry a river already. I always wanted to accumulate a 1BCH before this year ends but our financial lackness will never let me achieve it. Just great.

And the worst part is, as I do my budget plan, I have discovered that there will be left nothing for myself. As in nothing. Nada! Zero balance. My earnings will just be spend to our foods, bills and other important things. I am not even sure if I can buy my rejuvinating set after I withdraw it.

I am not complaining. Definitely not. But I just can't stop to pity myself. I mean isn't it unfair? How come that I can't even buy something for myself out of own money?

I really envy those people who can use their money for themselves.

Anyways, I just want to let this out because I really felt like I am about to explode and just leave my responsibilities. But I just can't do that. My family is the reason why I am striving hard in life. I will always prioritize them more than my own self.

I know that my time will come :).

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2 years ago

Comments

Aww you're so sweet po, I can feel that you really love your family. Btw, explosion can really happen to us, I already experienced that. And in finding someone we can trust, it's God. 😊 We can trust Him, He is true to his words and He never break His promises. ❤️

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2 years ago

Amen to this.

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2 years ago

Hold on still sis. God will surely make a way for you to go through the day and the years to come. He will provide for you. Don't think too much abour holding 1BCH because God will reward you with something great.

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2 years ago

Ameen! Our labor in the Lord will be invain.

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2 years ago

Its okay sis, you are right it’s ok to not be okay at some point in our life. We aren’t perfect because we are only human. We commit mistakes from time to time and we can’t undo what we’ve done wrong, but that is not the end of the world, we can still change it and learned something from it. Regarding your savings don’t worry God will give it back much more than you would imagine😊

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2 years ago

Amen! Thanks for dropping by sis.

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2 years ago

you’re welcome sis, I enjoyed reading your article😊

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2 years ago

Ofcourse dear your time will come at right time. Just need to be patience for now. Sometimes in our life some problem will come but if we believe that we can face it then definitely we can solve it. We Should always remember that GOD is always with us dear sis.

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2 years ago

Amen! The Lord is with us.

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2 years ago

Explosion? The first thing that comes to mind was two people having the besy time of their life both panting from their loving loving. And when they reach the peak, boooom. Bwahauahayaya.

Sorry ma, pinapatawa lang kita. And seriously, you are too young to stress yourself too much. You say that comforting words to your face pero nagchichill kana talaga ngsyon? Or you're still trying too hard? May narinig akong line sa My Roommate is A Gumiho na ganito "when you like something a lot, you'll be led in that direction." So for sure, lahat ng nais mo maaachive mo din. Pero kalma, wag masyadong magmadali. Bagalan mo lang muna, tapos saka ka lumarga ulit 💪💝💙

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Ateee rufffaaaa ahahaha. Juskoo ibang explosion ata yun ateee hahahaha. Opooo. Noted ateee. Thank you for making me laugh 🤗

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2 years ago

We're exactly on the same spot sis. You've said some things I threw into myself just earlier this morning. Our responsibilities sometimes stress us out. I'm aiming for 1bch too but always failed to keep my earnings due to family needs. Laban lang jud ta ani sis. Fighting !

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2 years ago

Laban rajud ta sisss

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2 years ago

Like you I have to hold everything up for myself. We have to think more for the well-being of our family. Keep doing what you can and God will provide the rest. Keep the faith.

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2 years ago

Ameen! God will do the rest

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2 years ago

You are not alone, you always have God. Just do your duty, your being responsible person will be rewarded soon in his will.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Amen!

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2 years ago

Laban lng po, okay lng po yan at least naka tulong po kayo sa pamilya nyo 😊wag mawalan ng pag asa 😊 kaya mo po yan fight lng po, pakatatag po kayo, manalig po tayo kay god 😇 laban lng kaya mo yan ikw pa po ba, strong lng po lageh . I know ur situation napag daanan ka din po yan, ito lng masasabi ko laban lng po 😊❤ god bless

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2 years ago

Amen! I will choose to entrust this to God.

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2 years ago

Fight lang Sis and always love yourself 😊 kaya mo yan wag mo pabayaan sarili mo. Mahirap nga yan pero ikaw magpapatlo? Hehe Strong lng lagi.

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2 years ago

Salaamaat sa encouragement mars

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2 years ago

There are times that we must become selfish to ourselves but don't forget to reward yourself ..don't be too hard on yourself...gaya sakin ngayon..yung iniipon ko na pang 1bch .diko talaga ginagastos...kasi pag may emergency may huhugutin..Magiging ok din ang lahat just believe that it will 😊

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2 years ago

Haaayys salamat haaaa. Jusko kinakawawa ko na amsyado yung sarili ko

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2 years ago

We don't want others to know what we knew. Just like an adage that says ' it is good to teach a child how to fish rather than giving him fish all the time'

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2 years ago

They've been working for a very long time for me. And i guess, they deserve the best.

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2 years ago

Everyone's time comes with selfish thoughts. Hope you are okay now. Just try to remember good vibes of you and you feel better. Hope your time will come soon but I must say you are doing a good job still. So, just keep going on don't look backward.

Have a good night mate.

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2 years ago

Thank youuu for your time in reading this one.

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2 years ago

We all are having some fights inside us and when the limitations reached we explode into tears.I am sad to hear that you were dreaming to collect 1BCH before this years end but now you have to fulfil basic needs with that money but I am glad your first priority is your family.So,dont worry dear,I am sure oneday you would be able to fulfil your dream.

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2 years ago

Aww. Hopefully. Thank you so much for the comfort.

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2 years ago

When we allow our emotions to overflow with negative currents, we will certainly experience an emotional explosion.

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2 years ago

Yeaaah and its not good.

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2 years ago

okay lang na mars, same sad ta hehe. Pero okay rana oy, mabawi rana nimo dayun for sure :) Ato lang hunahunaon nga naka tabang tas ato family bisag ginagmay lang :>

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2 years ago

Gani mars. Laban rata drea nga side.

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2 years ago

Everything has its moment and life is today, not tomorrow. Let go of what you cannot control and what you can handle is to be happy today with what you have and what you can live with. Life makes its way. When you think things will not happen something happens and everything flows. Give yourself time and you will see that everything will turn out better than you have planned.

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2 years ago

You are right gertu. Thank you for this reminder.

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2 years ago

Magtira ka lang para sayo kahit pa konti konti, I feel you kasi ganyan nga pakiramdam nang mama ko at papa ko. Kaya mo yan, wag ubusin lahat magtira para sa sarili mo :)) you can still earn slowly, don't obligate yourself too much to hold if you really need it.

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2 years ago

Yes mars. Salamat sa advice and time ha.

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2 years ago

Hirap talaga malagay sa sitwasyon na ganyan, Yung may gusto kang gawin para sa sarilio pero di mo magawa because you also know your priorities. Pero advice lang, magtira ka rin kahit kunti para sa sarili mo. Hindi pagiging selfish Yun kaase deserve mo rin Yun. Kapit lang, alam kong maaabot mo rin yang 1BCH goal mo soon 🤗🤗

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2 years ago

Oo. I will surley do that. Thann you

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2 years ago

Being able to get by using your earnings here is good I think, rather than trying to find where to get them. If you really want to hodl some BCH, then maybe leave some in a separate wallet. Say $5 each month? It may seem small but it will grow in time.

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2 years ago

Tama po kayu. Minsan kasi, pinepressure ki din sarili ko hays

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2 years ago

Dear, I know who you are and what you are. I'm happy that you shared your feelings. Hiding emotions & feelings not only creates pressure on mind but also bad for health. So it’s better that you shared. Oh...by the way, you know me. I'm Arn49

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2 years ago

Hello Arn49. This is yournew account?

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2 years ago

Yes mam. It is my new account.

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2 years ago

We have to do what we have to do. You can't hodl BCH if you need to use it and you will get some more soon.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Hopefully. Thank you Dafty's Friend.

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2 years ago

I will give you an idea, maybe not use every last dime you earn on your family and actually keep something for youself, like a little side saving... that way, you are not selfish towards your family and also loving yourself... think abt it

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2 years ago

Copy that. I am gonna save some for myself.

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2 years ago

very good.... please learn from me.. I have put others always in front of me when it came to taking decisions and I learned extremely hard way that YOUR HAPPINESS IS YOUR PRIORITY.. please act before it's late, you need to have a security for your life :)

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2 years ago

Hays same mare no choice dahil kailangan silang unahin, pero parang hindi rin nila nakikita na nahihirapan rin tayo and i hate that. 🤧 Keep going lang mare at nag Tira kana para sa sarili mo dahil walang makakagawa non kondj ikaw lang. Minsna kailangan mk rin maging selfish para sa sarili mo at walang masama don dahil pinag hirapan mo yon lahat.

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2 years ago

True mars. Pero sa ngayon, sila muna :)

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2 years ago

I also felt that way, mamshy. Because of family needs, I can barely buy something for my own kasi nga meron kelangan unahin.

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2 years ago

Oo nga mars eh. Pero laban lang parin tayo.

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2 years ago

I have exploded a few times in my life and it really hurts. Yes we have to deal with our emotions, maybe we should not be afraid to let it out and show. If we hide it, then it will pile up deep within us and after a while there will be "no more room" for them and just explode. If we can and willing to show our positive emotions why not show the negative ones too. I am sure everybody has at least one true friend, who would listen and understand us. So talk about it and don't hide it. It might help.

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2 years ago

I will surely apply this advice of yours. Thank you so much for your time.

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2 years ago