Date: September 4,2021
Author: Sequoia"Life is not a race. Goals are attainable when the time is right. Effort and time are the best sacrifices you can offer to achieve the desires of your heart and plans in your mind. However, don't overly push yourself. Too much of everything isn't good for you. Breath and take it easy. Trust the process. Everything will surely fall into their proper places when their perfect time comes. Above all, always remember to prioritize your happiness and peace. Don't be pressured by your surroundings, you aren't a pressure cooker."
Those were the unedited and exact words that the person in the mirror have said to me. I can't stop myself but to shed a tear while looking at my reflection. That girl is right. I've been so hard to myself this past few weeks. And that led me to have a very stressful face.
The words that she uttered surely creates a great awakening deep inside my whole being. Once again, I look at myself in the mirror. Big and black eyebags, frizzy hair, oily face, dry lips and zits all over my round and small face.
It's been a while now since I last stared at myself intensely. I haven't notice that behind this smiling lips, is heart that's been broken into pieces.
Yes, I laugh. I smile. I can even throw some jokes unto you. But all those things were not true. I made them up to cover what is really going on inside of my heart. This is me, your pretentious tree.
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Woooaaah! Wait a minute. That was a quite depressing intro. Isn't it?
Maybe some of you are curious about where is that all coming from? The dramas and the melancholic words. Well, to tell you honestly? I don't even know. Maybe I just reached my limitations and my heart couldn't take it anymore. That's why, it explodes.
Speaking of explosion, what was the first thing that comes to your mind when you are hear this word?
Destruction?
Violence?
Bomb?
Those were the common description that we commonly hear when we talk about explosion. And most of the time, it always brought fear and weariness to those people who hear it.
But did you know that explosion doesn't just happens on the outside world? It can happen to us. Within us. We are all like a bomb and can explode anytime. Sometimes, it takes just a snap.
Just like a balloon that is full of air, we humans are also filled of different emotions.
Emotions that we choose to hide because we thought that it will just eventually go away. However, things work very different inside of us. The more we suppress what we feel, the more it grows. And when we finally reach our limitation, that is the moment that we will explode.
That is the reason why it is very important for us to deal with our emotions and not just neglect it. Vent it out. You can cry it out. You are allowed to be mad. You can be sad. There's no reason for you to hide those things because it's all normal. You are a human and you have emotions. Find someone that you trusted and tell her everything you want and feel.
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I've gone too far already. That is actually not my topic but my finger just love to work on its own. Anyways, this just all started this afternoon.
I am stressed and stuck between withdrawing my earnings or just leave it alone.
Well, leaving it alone means we also have nothing to eat and to pay for our bills. So obviously, I was left no choice but to withdraw it and say goodbye to my 1BCH goal before this year ends.
Thinking about it makes me wanna cry a river already. I always wanted to accumulate a 1BCH before this year ends but our financial lackness will never let me achieve it. Just great.
And the worst part is, as I do my budget plan, I have discovered that there will be left nothing for myself. As in nothing. Nada! Zero balance. My earnings will just be spend to our foods, bills and other important things. I am not even sure if I can buy my rejuvinating set after I withdraw it.
I am not complaining. Definitely not. But I just can't stop to pity myself. I mean isn't it unfair? How come that I can't even buy something for myself out of own money?
I really envy those people who can use their money for themselves.
Anyways, I just want to let this out because I really felt like I am about to explode and just leave my responsibilities. But I just can't do that. My family is the reason why I am striving hard in life. I will always prioritize them more than my own self.
I know that my time will come :).
Aww you're so sweet po, I can feel that you really love your family. Btw, explosion can really happen to us, I already experienced that. And in finding someone we can trust, it's God. 😊 We can trust Him, He is true to his words and He never break His promises. ❤️