Goodbye, readStars! Until next time.
Date: June 4, 2022
Author: Sequoia
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It was a cycle of these two and I don't know how to move forward with nothing inside my heart and head no matter how hard I look and search. I felt like a kid lost in the middle of the Sahara desert bringing nothing with me but a half empty glass of water.
I mean, what can I do with this? This can't even quench the thirst that I am suffering and enduring from.
Lost.
Helpless.
Hopeless.
If I could describe my current situation right now, that would be those three. I've lost everything.
The passion. The creativity. The eagerness. The courage.
Where should I position myself now?
Now that I no longer have any skills to offer.
Talent to show.
And passion to carry within my heart.
Who am I?
I don't even know myself anymore.
Reminiscing the days on how writing made my heart race so fast.
I wanted to comfort myself by the words 'it is just a phase'.
But I know in my heart that it isn't.
The once so full of creativity brain became a home of spiders and surrounded by its webs.
I can't even comprehend a simple sentence just like before.
I don't know if I am just tired or burnout.
The only thing I am sure about is that, I've lost the old passionate me.
I wanted to cry so hard but no tears would come out from my two emotionless eyes.
Please bear with me for this another nonsense and dull article.
I wanted to express what I truly feel because if I won't, I will surely go insane.
Maybe I need a rest.
A rest from everything.
Will this be the end of my journey in here?
Should I stop this delusion that I am in right now?
No matter how hard I try, writing will never be for me and I guess, I have to accept that painful truth.
Right now, I am well aware how terrible my writing is.
I can't even stand reading this one.
As much as I wanted to keep going hoping that my writer part would suddenly come out, I know that I am just fooling myself and just like any other things...
I fail again, this time.
Please help me.
Should I continue?
Or saying goodbye is much better?
What path should I take?
Will I continue my journey or just turn back and go home?
I've gone through a lot.
But I no longer have any motivation to keep going.
Kahit ngayon lamang ako ay inyong hayaan.
Ilabas ang tinatago kung kahinaan.
Oo alam ko.
Parte ito ng pagiging isang manunulat.
Ngunit bakit unti-unting nawawalan ng buhay ang aking mga sulat.
Oo, totoo.
Ang layo ko na nga...
Pero ang layo ko parin...
Baka napepressure ka lang din sometimes sis..madalas ganyan din ako eh...pero push lang sis..okay lang naman magpahinga saglit , pero hindi tayo susuko..