"When it's hard"
Have you ever get tired to the point where you just want to escape from all that is around you?
Exhaustion, tiredness, burned out, depression, apathy and many more are feelings that you cannot just shake off. All are valid and important but what is causing it deeply rooted inside. Sometimes you feel grieving at an opportunity lost or failed and sometimes what is left fighting for you to wake up in the morning is the fact that you need to exist just because.
Life throws a lot of ups and downs, harvests and planting, dryness and rain. Seasons change so does those around you. It could be people, community or event. And even if you would like to stay, you are forced to move on, adapt and cope to the changes around. Staying around won't do any good. It would only make you stagnant. Stagnation will create discouragement and hopelessness that no pills can ever cure other than the hard pill to swallow which is moving on. To be only dreaming of something will not get us there but would only add to the level of insignifance.
SEASONS OF PLANTING
In this season sweat and blood are poured. You pave the hard ground to plant that seed you have wanted. To have a tree that would bring fruits of joy and success. If you are lucky enough, rain might help and help it grow. But as we know, not all seeds we've planted will grow. Some will die and some will take its time too slow. This is the time when its going to be hard to wait. This is the time where our patience is tested, hope is dimmed and it looks like nothing is happening. But even though the seed remains hidden under the soil surrounded with darkness where no sun can get to her, that seed is still growing, quietly spreading its roots to have a better foundation. How long will it take until grows, the answer is on the Hand who is growing it and nurturing it. Because in its perfect time, it will bloom and make its stand. You know, fruits are sweetest in its season and if picked to early before its due, it will be sour and nasty.
Our "One days"
We all longed for that one day when we don't need to worry anymore of whats around and we feel that contentment that life is giving us what we deserve. I hope that when we get there, it is exactly what we've worked hard for, cried a lot to and dreamt endlessly and if it is not then more than what we expect. Life is funny in its own humour. Sometimes, laughing at a situation might not be appropriate but all that is need. The family that has been given to us, are the people who makes us "us" but not necessarily will define us. We make our own path and imprints our own road. At the end of the day, we are most affected person of all the decision there is. Whether that result is good or bad, we will be affected because that is what life is all about.
Ending well
I just hope that one day when I am on my last ending breath looking at the waters, that I don't have any regrets and that I will be contented and fulfilled. I hope that I dont end up blaming someone because things didn't happen or because I pray that I wouldn't say to myself that I should have forgiven more, love more and approached life differently. All I want to say is that I did everything I want to do, wish to do and dreamt to be doing. Even if all didn't work out or happened atleast I tried and gave my best.
So I will end with this...whatever life brings, good or bad, sadness or joy, grief or celebration, just go through it knowing that everything is only for a season. We are all meant to hold on while moving on. Knowing whose hands I am on, gives me a great relief, confidence and hope that the road I am taking on has been carefully planned by the One who created me with love and passion.
"When Common Sense is Not Common"
A great leader is someone who is not just about skills and talent but also should be more on character and discipline. These attributes could be seen when they do the seemingly unimportant task so well and with the level of excellence it deserves.
I recently read a phrase the says "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power". This made me laugh as I know that I couldn't agree more.
Is common sense really common?
Well... I believe not! I believe that Common Sense is a product of your environment growing up. It only became common because some people whether your parents, tita's and tito's have taught you well. Through that, a previously foreign thought or lesson becomes common.
At this point, let us discover if you have these qualities and/or traits that a person with common sense should have.
1. Do you listen to instructions?
Have you had any experience wherein you ask someone to do something and he/she completely did the opposite? And the worst part is when her/his reasons started with 'I thought you said..."??? This could be really frustrating, not just on the person asking but also to the person being asked because he/she will have to do the task from the beginning. It is very important to listen to the instructions given then checking the instructions you heard if it is the same as what the other person communicated to you. Failing to ask for clarification will not only be frustrating but it would be a waste of time.
2. Are you staying focused ?
The key trait of being trusted is when you do the things you are supposed to do at the time you should be doing it with or without someone looking. Focus is a skill that can be learnt. If we were not taught by our parents then be happy and hopeful because this is a skill you can definitely learn. Being not able to focus will reflect on your poor performance and can be translated into laziness, lack of intelligence or respect. So stay focus!!
3. Do you take responsibilities?
Whenever a task has failed, do you take responsibilities on your part? Unfortunately for many, taking responsibilities of the failure could be very hard. This is maybe because of shame or fear of what the other person might think of you. But if you want to grow, taking responsibilities with your actions and results is a great mature quality that anyone should learn.
4. Do you acknowledge other people's contribution during success?
Sometimes when things are going the right way, we take all the credit. If someone is a good team player, he/she would understand how important it is to give credit where credit is due. Let us not be the person who points out a finger to somebody when things go nasty, but let us be pointing our fingers to those who made these successes possible. Acknowledge people, give credit to their work! In the end, you are all part of a team, one team-one win!
These are just some quick heart to heart check . Again, any of these can be learned and mastered.
Let us use common sense uncommonly to the most common situations.
Thank you for reading❤️
"The 4 Personality Types - Which one are you?"
We all have unique and amazing personalities! God made us fearfully and wonderfully as He said. I could just imagine how carefully and artistically God has made each one of us. Even identical twins would have something different and unique from each other.
My dad and my uncle are twins. They look the same when they were still young and when they've grown up, they don't look the same as much anymore. Although they agree on most of the things (I guess twins have that kind of thing) but they surely have different personalities. My uncle is more the quiet one and my dad is the loudest and animated one.
So for this article, I will tell you four personality types and let me know which one are you😁
THE "POWERFUL" CHOLERIC
They say that a person with this personality is a naturally born leader. When nobody wants to lead this person will have no problem in directing people.
NATURAL STRENGTHS:
Productive and gets the job done.
Sees the vision and do everything in his/her power to get the tasks done no matter what.
Naturally born leader
Outspoken and do not get easily intimidated.
WEAKNESS/TO IMPROVE
Uses strong feelings to manipulate and control others
Do not consider other people's feelings as long as the goal is achieved.
Could be very bossy and frank.
Can be authoritative and can be a dictator.
THE "POPULAR" SANGUINE
A person with this personality is usually the life of the party. The room lightens up whenever this person arrives. Likable by everyone and socially fun to be with.
STRENGTHS:
Extroverted and love being around with people.
Generally happy and high energy.
Optimistic and fun-loving
Compassionate and the "Forgive and Forget" person.
WEAKNESS / TO IMPROVE
Can easily be distracted.
Can be too loud and forgetful on where things are.
Disorganised and makes decision rashly.
THE "PERFECT" MELANCHOLY
This person is an introvert and can sometimes be reserved. This is not because there is nothing to say but because this person is mostly calculating every detailed steps to take when doing a task.
STRENGTHS:
Make and follow schedules religiously.
Always have steps in achieving his/her goals.
Pays attention to details so there will be no room for forgetting things.
WEAKNESS:
Perfectionist and ends up not getting things done.
Cannot function without a schedule or a calendar to follow
Caught up into too much details.
Moody and gets easily discourage.
THE "PEACEFUL" PHLEGMATIC
A person with this personality often are the peacemakers. They are okay if we go left or we go right. They are mostly chill and do their tasks according to their assignments.
STRENGTHS
They are very relaxed and flexible.
They can easily adapt in a situation and be okay about it.
They are very good at supporting others as they are very easy going.
Consistent on their mood and calm.
WEAKNESS
Procrastination is very big on them.
Slow, indecisive and could be lazy.
When conflicts arise, they will agree to avoid confrontation.
So there you go!! The Four Personality Types 😁
There are many kinds of Personality Tests out there so you can determine your personality types. This one is based on the four temperament theory. I chose this because it is easy to understand each of the personalities.
THINGS TO REMEMBER:
Knowing your personality types helps you understand yourself and others.
Your personality type is not an excuse for your bad behaviour and lack of productivity.
You are not only limited to one personality type although, one of these could be your highest.
I hope this helps a bit😁 I can not write everything here but I encourage you to take any personality test out there to give you an understanding of yourself and others. We can never compare ourselves to others for we are made uniquely and with great perfect details that only Him could do.
Thank you for reading❤️
When Helping Hurts!
There are many instances in life that our giving would be challenged by other people's need. But when does it happen when instead of helping others, we are actually hurting them instead?
Helping hurts when..
You are teaching the person to rely on you than encouraging him/her to stand on his/her own.
It hurts them more when you take their responsibilities away from them. Many of us Filipinos do this with our families. An example of this is paying for your brother's college tuition when you know he could find himself a job or a scholarship so he can afford going to school but he refuses to do so and chooses to use your money for parties after school too.
This is an example of when helping hurts for in the long run you are teaching this person to rely on you and not stand on his own. I am not saying to never help him especially when you have the capacity to do so however all I am saying is to teach him how to be independent for in the real world he will have to face it not with you but by himself.
Helping hurts when....
When you replace God on His responsibility as a PROVIDER.
Many times we want to be the hero, the hero that would save the day and relieve everyone from their stresses. There is nothing wrong with that for I believe in helping others when they need help. However, when you replace God's responsibilities by always providing for your families and friends even when you know that you will always be there first choice when they need something, then there should be a change.
Instead of always giving in to their need, why not ask God if He has another way in meeting their needs? Again, I am not trying to hinder people from giving, all I trying to say is maybe God is teaching them an important lesson during the time that they need something. Maybe He is teaching them to have more faith on Him on the things they desire OR to learn how to save so they dont end up always borrowing from you OR how to spend their money well so they wont need to rely on you everytime they need something.
If you always give in to everyone's need, make sure you did not become their GOD. Their ultimate provider should be Him. Do not take away the possible lifelong lessons that God may have been teaching them by being their first choice provider.
Helping hurts when...
It hurts when you leave a string attached when you help.
We, Filipinos are so guilty with this. We even have a saying for this 'Utang na Loob'. It's like a debt that you can never repay. When we help, we shouldn't think of that person as our investment and that one day she/he will help us in some way.
Parents also do this to their children. The parents send their kids to school and when the child graduates and find a job, they become a retirement fund for them. Children become their piggy banks. The children become oblige to repay the parents out of 'Utang na Loob' and not out from a generous heart anymore.
These are just some examples of when helping hurts more than really helping. It is always a challenge for the giver to know when to give and when to hold. If you are a generous person, give! But always give out of love and sincere heart, not of pressure or emotional manipulation.
Always give to help and not to hurt.
Thank you for reading❤️
"The Fun of Baby Sitting Foreign Kids"
One of the ways I would earn money before would be baby sitting children. I am able to do this because I worked at an NGO (Non Government Organization) which has quite few missionaries from different countries. Different days, different kids were assigned to me but mainly assigned to the these three.
There was a chinese girl whom I call "The Why Girl" as this girl never runs out of "why" questions to me. Another one was "The Little Boss" who is the commander of all the kids, very strong and very outspoken. Lastly, there was "Mr. Gentleman" who is loved by everyone so dearly.
The Chinese Girl "The Why Girl"
This Chinese girl was adopted by an american missionary couple from China and this couple used to do community works here in the Philippines. This beautiful Chinese girl was sweet and lovely as normal kids would be (sometimes). But this girl just never runs out of "Why" questions. These were some of her questions that made me laugh.
Why do moms only give milk and not juice?
Seriously this got me thinking too! Why don't they give juice instead of milk. There might be more flavours if so🤣
Why are you short?
Well, this girl compared my Filipino height to her american mama🤣 Girl, you can not argue with genes!
Then she saw my cleavage and ask...
So, when will mine grow? And does it crawl?
Child, what do you think of these, a pair of snails that would crawl out?🤣 and don't worry about those growing because I know for sure that yours will be bigger than mine🤣
Now, let's move on to the Australian kid "The Little Boss"
Australian Kid "The Little Boss"
This girl needs no prep talk or encouragement at all. She knows that she is pretty. She knows that she is tough and she knows that she can do all things through Christ who strengthens her🤣 But she is also just 5 years old.
She may be younger than others, but man she commands everyone like her own platoon and she is the commander! Surprisingly, everyone follows her too..I mean , except me ofcourse🤣 This girl would tell the other kids that this should happen and it would happen. This girl is so talented and crafty. I really believe she can be the next president🤣
I love this girl SO much! Her family has showed me and made me like their own and this girl has become my little sister. She may be strong and demanding to others but with me she is the 5 years old younger sibling that I love and care so much.
And the last one..
Australian Kid "Mr. Gentleman"
I have never ever met any child at the age of 8 years old that would debrief me on my how my day went😅 Mr. Gentleman would always find time to come to me and the same questions would be asked from me. Here are some of his questions.
How's your day so far?
How are you doing?
Do you like your job?
What did you learn today?
Do you miss what you did before?
I mean, these are just few of his questions. I call him Mr Gentleman too because this kid knows his etiquette like opening doors for the ladies, letting the ladies go first at dinner, and preferring ladies before him. Remember, he was just 8 years old😄
Oh I miss these kids SO SO MUCH!! I've fallen in love with each of them. They were energetic and rambunctious for sure but these kids have caught my heart❤️ I love them like my little siblings.
Thank you for reading❤️
"Struggles of Being Single"
"Wait until you get married and you can see how hard it is than being single"
Looking at my married friends I can never deny that things aren't always easy-peasy for them especially the ones with babies. The sleepless nights, the unending tantrum of their kids, and the expensive diapers and clothing. So with that, YES life can be hard for those who are married.
However, it doesn't also mean that singles like me do not have struggles anymore. As a single person, I also have burdens and heavy responsibilities as well that I face every 'single' day. You got the ring right?🤣
Paying Bills For The Entire Family
Yes we are single with no kids and a husband to attain to HOWEVER, we have siblings who we send to schools, we have parents to buy medicine for, and we have the entire household who are expecting us to pay for the family's needs. Needs like water bills, electric bills and even wifi. And if you're "lucky enough", you will be paying for your family's home credit too after they ordered that new refrigerator🤣
No One To Share Your Personal Financial Needs with
Ofcourse when I was a still a kid, all financial problems are careof my parents. But now that I am an adult, I get to pay for everything that I need and want. From my boarding house to my daily food, medicine when I get sick, hospitalisation for check ups, transportation to work and my water and electric bills. Living independently, these are things I couldn't ask my parents anymore . So yes, I have to work so I can survive too😁
No One To Check If I'm Okay or Not
I guess when you have a husband to come home to, you will have someone to debrief on how your day was. Someone I can sit in the couch with while I lean on his shoulders, savoring every sip of a glass of wine. Someone who would wipe my tears if I am having a bad day at work, someone who would say 'I'm here' and 'It is going be okay'. Someone I can laugh with and someone who would challenge my thoughts. Above all, someone I could pray with and would help me grow my relationship with God.
People Keep On Asking When Will I Get Married
Whenever I go to any of my relatives birthday, I would never miss out on being ask of when I will be getting married. Phew! If couldn't count anymore of how many times I was told to have a baby already. With these kinds of question I've learned to just smile, pause, remind my self not to be affected while saying 'In God's perfect time'❤️ Though there are times I would reply and say 'I have the same question too'🤣 What I just don't like is when others view my singleness as a lack and incompetent, like I've been left behind. But again I've learned not be affected so I don't get pressured with these easily.
All of these, I just have to say that even if I am single right now, I am just blessed to have really good friends to share this season with. Being single, I've learned to be independent and learn that being single is really okay. Watching Netflix movies and preaching sermons on Youtube have become somewhat my lifeline other than my friends.
So to everyone who is concerned of my singleness, I appreciate the concern but please know these❤️
🚩I am single but I really have good friends
**🚩 I am single but I have mentors, leaders and spiritual parents to check on me and challenge me to become the best version of myself.**
**🚩I am single, but I am happy and I am contented too. I enjoy my today and hope for a better tomorrow.**
**🚩I am single but I still have hope and trust that God has prepared something amazing for me.**
Thank you for reading❤️
"My Friend Got Engaged and I am Still Single?"
Late afternoon I saw a man holding a beautiful bouquet of flowers and a nicely packaged cake. At first I thought someone must be having his/her birthday for this person to turn up looking smart and handsome. It looks like this person has prepared well for this visit.
For few seconds I couldn't recognize this man until he mentioned my name while waving his hands at me. He was my good friend's boyfriend.
I've known this man for atleast 3 months now. He was introduced to me by my friend on her birthday, the same day they also went official. Fast forward to 3 months, he is now outside our gate with a big bouquet of well-selected flowers wearing his new bought smart-looking polo shirt.
Since I was the only person who knew him more, I greeted him and brought him to his beloved girlfriend. Her girlfriend (my good friend) was in the office with the other staff and wasn't expecting him at all. I opened the door first and check if she was there and then he followed.
By this time, all of the staff were already screaming out of "kilig" and excitement when they saw the bouquet of flowers and the packaged moist chocolate-caramel cake. Everyone couldn't stop the teasing while witnessing this romantic gestures that this guy did.
When the guy asked her to open the box of cake, there it wrote, "Will you marry me?". By this time everyone was teasing and screaming, especially the ladies🤣. The office got louder and louder. Then, with nervous big smile gathering all his confidence, this man got down on one knee and ask the question,
'Will you marry me?'
To which she replied,
'Yes'❤️
❤️REFLECTION❤️
Witnessing the love story of my friend was breathtaking! I am honestly happy for her for she deserves to be cherished. Her long wait is over and she did it well! She is getting married!!!
Events like this sometimes make wonder like 'What would I feel if someone will finally ask me the same question? Would I be so sure to say 'yes' or would I hesitate and say 'no'? I wonder how exciting would it be to finally have someone to call my Fiance`?
Eventhough I dream of this to happen to me one day, I also would just like to enjoy my season of being single. I am in no way trying to cover anything for I know deep inside I appreciate the season I have right now. Though the waiting feels soooo long and I am still single, I trust and believe that God has already written the love story that is only for me❤️
Thank you for reading❤️
"How I Overcome My Fear of Ghosts"
As we know, Filipinos have a lot of beliefs with regards to the different types of ghost. Some are too funny and some are not so child-friendly. Allow me to quickly mention some of those that I know and what I believe they are.
👻 The Famous "White Lady"
Ever since I was a child, I am so terrified of what they called the "White Lady". Supposedly this lady floats, wears white and her face is white. I guess that is why she is called White Lady? 😅 She looks like the spotlight is always lighting up her face. I remember being so afraid of her that I would run so fast, no looking back trying to get home to our house after being at my cousin's house watching Filipino series.
👻 The Giant "Kapre"
This guy supposedly lives in Balete or big trees. He is huge and smokes. He has a loud voice and to be honest I do not know what He does. I still wonder why on a tree and why smoke right? Huge guy with huge smoke would probably kill the tree hmmm🤔
👻 The Half-Bodied "Manananggal"
They say she is a whole person possessed by a demon and can split herself leaving her waist down on the ground while her upper body flies and look for a pregnant woman to devour her baby. Wow, that is beyond creepy and kind of funny if you think about it.
👻 The Little "Nuno Sa Punso"
Apparently, these are the tiny people like I would describe as Smurfs? They live inside a bloated soil and they say I should always pay respect to them. Well back at my hometown where I grew up, we kind have the same looking soil. As a child I was told to pay respect and never offend them. I remember everytime I would pass it, I would say Hi or Hello. I even remember trying to talk to them. I guess they became my invisible friends?😅Until one time, a strong rain happened and made the bloated soil collapse. I was hoping to finally meet them but to my surprise I didn't see the little "Nuno sa Punso" but the tiny termites all trying to put their house back together🤣
I am writing this not to bring out fear to anyone but to inspire and empower those who are so terrified by these. I used to be one. Even as an adult, I was still really afraid of it. Little teasing from friends and sharing of stories like these would give me goosebumps and adds more fear in me. BUT I AM PROUD TO SAY THAT I HAVE OVERCOME MY FEAR ON THESE 'CREATURES'. How????
🔥Everytime I get scared with things like these, I would pray. I would pray that God will give me the strength and the courage to believe that these things could not touch me or hurt me. I would pray that God will give me peace instead of fear.
🔥I memorized Bible verses that are related to overcoming fear. So when I feel fear, I would declare and say those verses out loud. Suddenly, the feeling of fear is gone, true story!!
🔥I choose not to watch horror movies anymore. I now know that doing so will only create a gateway for fear to come in again and trap me. So I refuse to leave any doors open to this. I choose what my eyes would or should see for I know visual self would remember it all ❤️
🔥I avoid listening to ghost stories and jokes. I know myself so well that if I indulge myself on listening to peoples' stories and jokes about this, then fear would try to come in again. So there are times when I had to remove myself subtly from the group whenever they start talking about these things. I choose what I should hear and take in for it doesn't take long until my brain plays on it❤️
🔥 I always remind myself that I am a child of God and that greater is God who is in me than them. Understanding this gives me a solid confidence that I do not fear easily and there is no need to fear these things for HE is with me and in me.❤️
SO yes ladies and gentlemen, overcoming fear from these 'creatures' is POSSIBLE. For God did NOT give us the spirit of fear but of LOVE and SOUND MIND.
ReadCash friends, tell me WHAT ARE YOU SO AFRAID OF? I would love to hear from you too!!!😅
Thank you for reading❤️
"From Baby Sitter to House Cleaner to Office Assistant to Camp Director"
I've been working for an NGO for atleast 13 years now. My role has been always shifting and changing depending on what is needed to be done. I started as a baby sitter baby sitting missionaries' kids of different nationalities. I then became a house cleaner cleaning rooms, CRs, washing laundry, eventually promoted to work in the office and finally became a Camp Director.
BABY SITTING FOREIGN KIDS
It was hard. I was still young. I didn't know what to do. The kids were too rambunctious and too cheeky. Some of them hides from me. I had to chase them, feed them and bathe them. The most difficult part is to talk to them in English!! Yup, nosebleed indeed! My English was limited. I ran out of English! I only have many 'yes' 'no' and 'maybe'. Yes, it was exhausting because I also wasn't used to it. But I needed the money, so I did what I had to. But for months that I have been with them, I finally knew how to tame those little dinosaurs. Slowly, respect is built and they are learning my boundaries. I began to love them and truly cared for them. They were so energetic and they also make mistakes but hey, they are kids! ofcourse they will! Even us adults make the worst ones. But my love for those kids grew like they've become my little brothers and sisters. Whenever I put them to bed and read them stories, I always feel loved by these kids. They would usually ask me to stay until they've finally fallen asleep. Little did I know, these kids already captured my heart.
LESSON: 1. Whatever you give your attention to, you will develop an affection. 2. You gotta do what you gotta do to make ends meet. As long as you are doing what is right and you didn't compromise then you are good.
HOUSEKEEPING/ HOUSE CLEANER
Then I got promoted from baby sitting to housekeeping/cleaning. They needed extra hands to clean the big white house. There were 3 big rooms and 2 smaller rooms, a dining hall, a lounge area, a spacious kitchen and an office area. And yes I had to clean them all with my good friend, Mrs Mj. We would do laundry together, and then proceed to cleaning the house. I usually would be assigned to be cleaning the CRs. Phew! That was challenging! Not because of the eeky yucky things but because I was feeling ashamed of my job. I felt insecure and inferior. I felt like I was the lowest for being assigned to clean the CRs. But there was a time when I was cleaning one of the dirty yucky toilet bowls and I remember murmuring to God why I ended up doing what I was doing. Suddenly I felt like God wanted me to go through that because He wants to teach me that my identity is not attached to my job or position or role. My identity is only found in Him. I am a child of God, the Most High!
LESSON: 1. Trust God in the process. 2. Be humble. 3. Cleaning CRs is never the lowest form of job.
OFFICE ASSISTANT:
When I was finally promoted to the admin office, one of my responsibilities is to make PowerPoints. I love having a computer, and being asked to do something by using the computer. The only thing is that I was asked to do a PowerPoint presentation which I really didn't know how. My ignorance with computers was amusing. I was so nervous, asked my myself 'where do I click on this screen? I panicked, I got confused and I can feel that my confidence is slowly fading...but before it did, Mr Youtube has saved my day. I search it and Youtube it. And Voila! My first PowerPoint was beautiful and colorful. There were more designs that writings🤣
LESSON: You can learn anything you set your heart and mind into.
CAMP DIRECTOR
Then I was assigned and promoted to become the Camp Director. I've been Camp Directing for 10 years now. I've ran both Youth camps and kids camps. This job is one of my favorites. Being a Camp Director has given me joy to provide a safe place for youth and children to play and have fun while learning the valuable and important lessons in life. Being a Camp Director, one of my responsibilities is to make sure that schedules and camps are run well leaving no space for a lot of unforseen events. It is my job to make sure that the participants will have an amazing time and hoping they've learnt something that is of value and apply it in their personal lives. My favorite part of this job is running games for it is this time that I see tears combined with sweat and triumphant celebrations.
LESSON: Life is about timing and season, so learn to know your season and fully brace it. I started as a Camp Director at the age of 20. This means no age, gender or status can dictate what you can do and achieve.
These are just some of the work I have experienced. Each one has taught me many great lessons in life. I wouldn't trade my experiences for anything else for it made me stronger, determined, humble and grateful. I only shared this to inspire and not to boast for it was only through God and His mercy and grace that I am able to be where I am today❤️
May we all appreciate our own little success and process!
Thank you for reading❤️
"Is Being In-Love Not Enough?"
They say marriage is a holy matrimony uniting a man and a woman with pronounced vows infront of the people you love and loves you but above all infront of the Almighty God.
But how can a happily married couple such as Jason and Moira ended up in an unfortunate, heart-breaking separation when they were once so in love with each other? And why are many so affected by their heartbreak as if everyone became their close relatives or friends?
To answer this is to realize that their relationship was an epitome of a love story we all would have wanted to have. They made us believe that there is forever and that it is possible to do it right without any compromise. And because of their break up, we are now confronted of the possibility that if a beautiful story like theirs shattered into pieces then maybe ours can be too.
Jason has admitted that he had been unfaithful to Moira. His bestfriend, his confider and the love of his life. I know many asked HOW COULD HE DO THAT TO HER? To the woman whom he cherished and loved so dearly? And how could a Godly loving man make those poor choices? Was it just a sudden mistake that he never intended to happen? Or was it intentional and Jason is really as guilty as others claimed?
I guess this is not a question anymore of Christianity or belief. This is beyond that. This is about the little choices and compromises Jason has chosen long way before. I honestly believe that such poor action and decision didn't come in a day but only a result of pre-meditated thoughts he always had ever since.
Many even considered their relationship as Godly and done right. We fell in-love with them as they have inspired us to hope that in love there is fulfilled joy. Now that this happened, we feel dismayed and we feel threatened as this could possibly be us. However, one thing I know for sure that loving is not all about the feelings we have for someone for we know feelings change and betray, and they are only indicators of what is going on inside our hearts. But love is not just about 'falling in love' but 'keeping the love' you've fell into. We are able to do this when we fully understand the importance of the daily decision we choose or make, either small or big in order to keep the vows, the promises and the covenant we both said to one another. So I don't think being inlove is enough for feelings come and go, staying in love and choosing to love are the real challenge and a choice we make every single day.
I leave you with some of the lyrics from the song **'Slow Fade'** by Casting Crown;
It's a slow fade
When you give yourself away
It's a slow fade
When black and white have turned to grey
And thoughts invade, choices made
A price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
The journey from your mind to your hands
Is shorter than you're thinking
Be careful if you think you stand
You just might be sinking
https://youtu.be/QASREBVDsLk
To end this, I just wana say that I don't agree with cheating. In cheating there is no 'because' or 'but', there is only an obvious result of poor actions done in small steps of compromise and unresolved issues of the heart. In no way I am adding myself to the list of people who already made their judgment on Jason.
I also just have to say that 'Temptation is NOT a sin', it becomes one when we act on it. However with situations like Jason and Moira, this reminds me of what Jesus said to the people who stoned the woman who committed adultery,
"Let him who has not sinned be the first one to throw a stone at her.”
I have made many mistakes in life as well so I choose not to throw stones at any body, including Jason. We may not focus too much on the sins of others but instead learn from their mistakes so we may not fall into the same trap. Atleast, that is what the smart and the wise would do.
Thank you for reading❤️
"Falling Forward"
I am the kind of person who likes to be active. I usually crave for adrenaline and mostly has FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) of any thing that is FUN! However, physical fitness has been a challenge for me lately.
A year ago I was 5 kilos lighter. Back then I would be exercising most afternoons. I would go for a run, go for a walk, hit the leg-raise equipment and I would even do the HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training). I was FIT! I get dizzy at times for pushing myself too much but I did it. I hit my goal of slimming down and losing weight. I was happy and proud of myself.
Then something happend to me that I suddenly lost the desire to be physically active. I gained weight and I was slowly fading into being apathetic on things. I felt bring indifferent and just the overall BLAAH! I LOST HOPE ON MY DREAMS. I would feel down most of the time and as a result I messed up so good that led me to making more unwise decisions in life. I got disappointed and I just didn't care and love myself already. I know it didn't just happen overnight as those were results of some of my compromised decisions in life. However, most of it is from my own self-disappointments.
During those moments, there were 3 things that really helped me overcome whatever I was feeling that time.
TALKING TO MY TRUSTED FRIEND: When all I wanted to do is hide and host a pity party for myself, my friend reached out to me. Although at the beginning I wasn't really much for talking but my friend knew that I would eventually do. She was there to listened and sometimes a crying shoulder too. She didn't try and solve my problems but instead sympathize with me and my situation. AND I LOVE HER FOR THAT!
JOURNALLING
I am never into journalling however I find myself doing it a lot whenever I am going through something that is hard. Writing all the things that are running inside my head aids my issues on anxiety. The looping thoughts that I couldn't stop seem to slow down whenever I write about it. It feels like a therapy for my broken soul. Whenever I write, I try to be as honest as I could with my feelings and emotions. After I did, there is an instant sigh and relief brought by it. Straight away I feel and see that I am not as messed up as I thought I would be.
KEEPING GOD AS MY COMFORTER
No matter how deep I have fallen into or far I ran away from Him, I always have this sense of security inside of me that HE will never let go of me. I am not abusing His love but somewhat inside it felt like an assurance. An assurance that I will always keep Him as part of me no matter what life brings. I may fail Him many times but His grace and loving kindness will always lead me to His heart. So whenever I feel lonely, disappointed and messy, He becomes my solid rock and my sweetest comforter. I know that with HIM I am safe, loved and cared for.
So whenever you are discourage my friend, always know that GOD is for you and not against you. You will get through this! If you fall, fall forward!
Thank you for reading❤️
"Do You Feel Like A Failure?"
I got my bachelor's degree six years ago with flying colors. I was second honor out of all the graduates that year. I was so proud of myself because despite being a working student I still managed to excel in my class and every effort paid off when I got my diploma. My dream of being able to give a speech infront of my batch mates happened. Graduating and getting a degree brought pride and honor to my family.
Six years have passed and now I have a stable job. I am beyond grateful and blessed that even through pandemic I still have a job to sustain myself. I feel like I'm in that right place and I fit well with everyone.
But something happend two weeks ago when I was leading an event. The CHAIR coordinator of all the heads of the student affairs in Davao City asked me this exact words, "Miss J, do you have letters after your name that I may put it in the description?" At first I was clueless of what she was asking. Inside of me I asked "what letters is she referring to? My middle name initial or my nickname?" So I pause for a while and really thought about it deeply. Then all of the sudden I understood what she meant! When I finally got what she asked of me, I suddenly felt like a sting in my heart. My insecurity was waving and suddenly I felt like I shrunk. This lady was asking me if I have any other academic title like if I am an LPT (License Professional Teacher) or I have MAed (Masters of Arts in Education).
This SHOOK me. It was not long until I was having a pity party for myself. I felt small and unaccomplished. I instantaneously forgot the flyings colors and the medals awarded to me when I graduated. The hardship I rendered and the grades that cost me sleep in college didn't seem to matter anymore.
Since then, I was bothered by my academic status. My self-confidence went down and the voices of failures became louder. Questions were looping in my head and it seems like it is not stopping. "AM I STUCK AND LEFT-BEHIND? AM I A FAILURE? Questions I asked myself. So one by one I took time and asked God for His truth in my life.
"AM I STUCK AND LEFT-BEHIND?"
Well I don't think so. I believe that I am on my perfect timeline right now. This job is for me for this season. I am growing personally and for years I have been honing my skills and building my self-confidence. I mean that's gotta be an accomplishment right? I've realized that some improvements or successes aren't based on how much you earn, some are based on the happiness you get from your friends and family or from the love you have for your job. Success could mean being able to impact others. Others might look like they've soared higher than you and it would be hard to compete with them but I now realize that my path and my season are different from everyone. I am just on my OWN PERFECT TIMELINE. I not racing or competing, I am just simply walking. Walking every step of the way, taking one day at a time. So, "AM I STUCK AND LEFT-BEHIND?" The answer is "NO, I AM NOT".
"AM I A FAILURE?"
This was strong for me after that lady asked me the question. It felt real to me and I almost believe that I was. I guess it felt true because I know I also have dreams that are still dreams. Unconsciously I have deep down disappointments of myself and my situation. I've been waiting for it to come to pass for years but somehow it still hasn't happened. However, as I meditate more on this I have understood that my plans may have not taken place yet but this doesn't mean it's a failure OR I am a failure. Even if I haven't seen even a glimpse of my dreams coming through, I just gotta believe that what HE promised is true.
So going back to the person who asked me if I have letters after my name...with a smile, confidence and contentment I answered, "No Ma'am, just my complete name and my job title." After that I gave myself a big confident smile and said to myself, "I AM NOT STUCK, I AM NOT LEFT-BEHIND, I'M OKAY AND I AM NOT A FAILURE".🥰
"Do You Have CORRUPT Friends?"
Two weeks ago, I went for a minor climb with my friends in South Cotabato. We climbed this mountain called Mount Parker and the hike going up was a long 4-hour assault. My knees almost touches my chin as we battled our way up towards this beautiful view, the peak of Mount Parker. When we reached the victory we saw the majestic crater lake of Mount Parker called Lake Holon. Lake Holon means PORTAL TO HEAVEN and I couldn't agree more. Indeed it was like a new world hidden to preserve its splendor and beauty! Peaceful, serene but its personality is as bold as the calm deep waters. Looking from above, the view was just beyond description.
As I was enjoying the scenery, I also noticed how my friends who I went hiking with were taking photos. They were so happy taking selfies, groufies and solos. Someone even dared to do a dangerous jumpshot. All of the sudden, I had this epiphany! I realized that I wouldn't probably enjoy this beautiful view as much if I am not in the same company.
The same idea is something I can relate to when choosing circle of friends. Sometimes we forget how important it is to be wise in choosing the people who will be influencing us. Some friends will be there at our greatest moments BUT will they be there too in our darkest? And did you know some are also meant to be LET GO?
They say that 'IF YOU LIE DOWN WITH DOGS YOU'LL WAKE UP WITH FLEAS' and I couldn't agree more for I believe that whoever you are with will definitely impact or influence you in some way or form. When we hang out with bad company, it corrupts our good character and lowers our moral. Eventually, you develop a palate on THINGS YOU DISLIKED. The thing YOU'VE PROMISED never to do it now becomes 'I'LL THINK ABOUT IT'. Black turns gray and SUDDENLY you crumbled in a day.
I'm not saying that we should look for perfection for we will never find it. I am in no way teaching anyone to be the judge of someone's character for I myself is also guilty of it. All I'm trying to put on the table here is the REALIZATION of how important it is to remember that GOOD COMPANY IGNITES GOOD CHARACTER, same as BAD COMPANY CORRUPTS GOOD CHARACTER.
People around us have different roles in our life. It is US WHO DECIDE what they'll going to be for us and how much we allow them to influence us. I just hope that we CHOOSE WISELY who we lie down with, for the same spirit will be inflected and will definitely influenced.
Thank you for reading❤️
My "UNWANTED GUIDE" at Mt Apo: Tallest Mt. in the Philippines!!!
I have always been the kind of person who likes adventure. I am no swimmer but I love jumping off a cliff towards the cold water of the ocean. All I need is a lifejacket or a friend waiting for me down below. I love climbing high trees but I am AFRAID of heights! I love the view from above but looking down gives me shivers inside. My favorite is riding my bike on a challenging trail but I fear SO MUCH that I may fall. Yes, I love extreme adventures but I am also insecure at the same time.
I am challenged whenever I see someone conquers their fear. I always think to myself, can I also do it just like how they presented it? Am I brave enough to face it OR will I chicken out when I get there? So imagine my face when I was asked to climb the tallest mountain of the Philippines, Mount Apo. Ofcourse as expected my logical brain said 'NO THANK YOU!
Regardless of how, something in me wants to try. What if I could really do it and what if I would just try? Will I regret if I didn't? but what if I also die? The confusion in my head is at war but there is no winner or loser, there was only I. Time to decide, so with a big YES of faith I will gonna try!
The first day started as early as 2am. When we got to the meeting area it was already the crack of dawn. Suddenly I felt something weird. Like something is wanting to get out of me. It was then when I said "REALLY NOW? YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING WITH ME".
How lucky am I to have my period on the first day of hike. My "intrusive, unwelcome, and unwanted guide" has decided to stay. For the next 3 days I have no choice but to sway, for I know that the bush will save my day. So off we went and started to climb, going with me is the perfectly timely monthly period guide of mine🤣.
Along the hike, I would find a place to hide. To clean myself while giving my guide a ride. It was gross, it was yuck but I can not go back. I suddenly had a buddy along the hike.
This guide is so emotional and wanting to be felt. So demanding and controlling as to when I should rest and sit. So when I was traversing I felt my stomach hurts, I think this guide was just too excited. I had no choice but to go on and the conquering of my fear has suddenly become more known. As the mountain gets steeper and with heavy backpacks on, I climb the first part with a loud groan. I thought it was just fear that I had to overcome, but it was also the pain that my "unwanted guide" has done. I still couldn't believe that out of all the days I was free, this "unwelcomed guide" suddenly wanted to go up in Mt. Apo WITH ME!!
So imagine me being out in the middle of nowhere enjoying the nature's glory and somehow this 'UNWANTED GUIDE' also wants to see the beauty🤣
Thank you for reading❤️
"The Struggle of My Nocturnal Friend"
School year 2021-2022 is FINALLY ENDING!!! As for my friend, she now has to be enrolled for summer. Some college students I know are already planning for vacation while on the other hand my friend is stressing out for another set of classes she will take during summer vacation to catch up with her other subjects.
My friend was never been a morning person. Not that I think of her lowly but I just think that people are wired differently when it comes to effectivity. So going back to my graveyard friend, they say early bird catches worm but she said she isn't a bird and she doesn't like worms🤣. She is a NOCTURNAL OWL that keeps busy at night. Her brain cells starts to power up at 10pm and expires at 5am. Her breakfast is at lunch and her lunch is at dinner. While everyone is already busy ticking off their checklists on their clipboard, she is sound asleep on her comfy bed snuggled up in a fetal position. She SLEEPS BETTER THAN A BABY for a baby wakes up every two hours.
She's the kind of person that prepares everything at night just to avoid waking up early in the morning. I personally think that is smart and wise, however when situations ask her to be ready in the morning just like when she needed to go to school today to enroll for summer, her BODY IS AWAKE but her SPIRIT is still ASLEEP.
This morning, she forced herself to get up. Good thing she already had a shower lastnight so she can use that morning shower time for more sleeping in. I mean that is only 5 minutes but for someone like my friend that is like an HOUR.
So off she go and went to her school. It was a hot sunny day outside so sweats are drippin'. The jeepney was full and tight as people also are heading for their job. When she got there, the line for enrolment was long so she had to wait. Half-awake she persevered, determine to get herself enrolled even if she's wide awake but asleep.
Finally the moment of truth and it was her turn. She thought all of her hardwork of waking up early would finally paid off. As she presented her documents the school admission ask of her school ID, for what she gave her was wrong and it was her QR ID. Coldness was felt on her face as she remembered that she forgot to secure her school ID first. She was left standing there like she couldn't believe it. There was nothing to present to this lady so off she go and went home instead.
She got home and told me what had happened. She was TIRED and FRUSTRATED about all that went. I felt pity on her for I know waking up early was never her thing. But in the end we LAUGHED about it thinking what could have the school staff thinking when she handed not her school ID but her QR CODE for scanning🤣.
All that to say, I love my friend and I celebrate her uniqueness!!!
Thank you for reading❤️
"You Trigger Me!"
I would always consider friendship as a wonderful gift from God. The number of close friends I have is a tangible visible blessing enough that I consider myself favored.
As the years passed, there is this friend I have that I love so dearly but triggers me uniquely and deeply. This friend is someone I can cry on or laugh with but also fight with. It's funny how I can have all of those with this friend. Then there was one time when we had a serious disagreement on things and oh dear, we FOUGHT! The loud shouting words escalated and harsh comments were thrown back and forth. We were both right and we were both wrong but no one wants to admit our own fault. Her face turned red and my ears are smoking hot like I was cooking something. It was only when we both chose to walk away that made my 100 miles per hour pumping heart slowed down.
SWEAT AND TEARS fell on my cheek. It was first because of anger and the feeling of not being understood or listened to. But anger was quickly turned into regrets, regretting the things I have said that should not have been said to my dear friend. We both hurt each other and I am responsible for the pain I have caused her. I couldn't believe I went below the belt. I gave her an uppercut harsh comments. I pierced her with my cutting words. Now I am on the edge of losing one of my dearest friends.
How did I get there? Why lashing out to her came quickly that I didn't notice and cared for her anymore? I have never been this mad. I have never been this rude. I have never imagined that those words would come out from my own mouth. I was shock about the fight but I was more surprised and scared of my reaction. Surely it was more than what it looked like.
As I began to reflect, I asked myself how on earth I turned into a 'MONSTER FRIEND'? What made me feel so bad that I would forget who I was talking to and the relationship I have with this person?
Then all of a sudden, I am struck by a memory from my childhood. I remember being a child and listening to how my dad yelled at my mom. His voice escalated and my dad's words became like knives cutting into my poor mother's soul. I saw my mother's tears as she wiped it with her shirt. I couldn't bear it anymore so at the top of my lungs I screamed 'STOP HURTING MY MOM!'.
Remembering this made me more regretful of what I have said and did to my dearest friend. DID I BECOME LIKE MY ANGRY DAD? Didn't I promise that I will never be like him? But then I have a life changing realization.
I WAS TRIGGERED! Not because of the disagreement I had with my friend but because I saw something in my friend that reminded me of my angry dad. I saw a character that reflected like my dad to which I made a vow never to be like him. You see, I was never angry with my friend but I was triggered and angry with my dad.
Unprocessed painful memories, well-kept bitterness and grudges, no matter how hard you keep it all down it would always surface and smell. As my mentor says, 'TRIGGERS ARE OPPORTUNITIES TO GROW' but I also quoted, unresolved triggers will only rot and it will poison. The only sad thing is that whoever holds unforgiveness and bitterness also drinks its poison.
Hope you won't do the same mistake I have done because it did cost me a good friend.
Thank you for reading!
"Are Your Friends Healthy For You???"
It has become my hobby to climb mountains and explore the hidden treasures of the virgin forests. It gives me thrill every time I step into new trails that look like nobody has gone there yet. The sound of the birds and the loud gushing waterfall are just the perfect concoction for my kind of serenity. Indeed, nothing compares to nature and what it has to offer.
But going into these adventures I was never alone. I am always with my older brother, his friends that are now my friends, my bestfriend and few close friends. They have become like another outlet for me and a great company to be with. Whenever we hike together, endless stories come out and there is usually a lead story-teller. It is amazing that we usually start with snacks and almost eating them all at the beginning of the trail. Then teasing and laughter burst out from each others opinions and responses. But as we walk towards the depth of the forest our conversation becomes deep and more meaningful. It seems like the trail has every station for every kind of conversation you will be having with the person. Then suddenly, you noticed you are already sharing your dreams with each other. You are starting to affirm and ignite each other's vision and hopes. All of the sudden, you didn't notice the trail's difficulty so much.
Bombarded at work's busyness and pressures, climbing mountains and discovering waterfalls with my friends have become my lifeline. It is like a way out for me to force myself to focus on different things and somewhat forget the burdens. They say this is mental health but I would call it 'wholeness recharge'.
I have been climbing mountains for almost two years now and I have realized that yes the beauty of the mountains is beyond compare and the relaxing cold waterfall is just perfect for my sore muscles after a long trek, however, I have to admit that it was whom I was with that makes it worth enduring.
Whether climbing the highest mountain or going into the depth of the jungle to find that beautiful waterfall, I wouldn't probably enjoy the whole experience if I am not in the same group as I am with today. I've realized that even in the hardest trail that we climbed, it was with them that I find strength and joy despite the sweat and tears running down.
Therefore, choose wisely my friend who your circle or friends would be for they will uplift you or pull you down in your hardest moment in life. These people makes your effort worth it or forget it. These would be the one to say go big or go home.
As for me, I will choose to be surrounded with chill & relax people, happy people, forgiving people and most of all non-judgemental people. I know that this is very unrealistic in this broken world but as much as I can, I will choose to spend time with them more than wallowing on my sorrows and past regrets with people who only pulls me down even deeper.
So when you find one of these, keep them and treasure them. They might be your lifeline in the end.
"Disappointment Hurts, But Self-Disappointment Kills"
Have you ever wonder when will you taste the sweetness of your own personal breakthroughs? Glancing on social media, scrolling down, one by one looking at your friends successes and the 'look-a-like' achievements has put a smile on your face but unconsciously dents something inside your heart. Looking at their shiny bling, expensive branded cars and the dream house that only belonged to your dreams and imaginations seemed like were packaged only to their favor and terms. Every tap on their photos and click of likes and hearts, is like seeds of insecurities and discouragements planted and thriving inside your disappointed heart. When will it be your turn to share your stories of success and victories? How long will it take before the light shed in the darkness you've been fighting against but now has become a safe hiding? You are now left to wonder, is there really light at the end of this tunnel? Or the train has already passed and no longer you will be able to wander? The disappointment has hurt you but self-disappointment is killing you and what is most disheartening is that it feels like you are falling even deeper into its ambush.
As hard as it is to explicitly express the things above, obviously I do have my own share of self-disappointment. My dreams were high and I followed every step they told me. Listened to wise counsel and devoted myself to growing and learning. Still, I feel disappointed. Disappointed because I feel disappointed on things I thought would be different. I know by now that we were never promised an easy life for life itself is defined with colours but not all colours are bright, some are there to define a fine portrait of art which is the gray and the black.
To add to this self-pity confession, disappointment as we know allies with grief and pain. Disappointment hurts however self-disappoint can kill someone's soul. It permeates like a poison that slowly kill your joy and passion. It is like an arrow that pierce and rip hopes and dreams apart. It is an unimaginable weighty feeling that others can not easily discern. It can be disguised with a 'happy contented life' but from deep within screams loudly for help.
Life has peaks and valleys but both are still sceneries. Both has to be ventured and both should be explored. Sometimes we cause those valleys in our life because of some 'unfortunate' decisions we make, however some our presented uninvited by life itself. Regardless of how, we may not yet see the best spectacle of what life can offer and we've been shivering trying to hold on to our ground waiting for it to come, I only hope that we may never lose the instinct to position ourselves to see the different angle and view of life.
We may have lost our grit and hope on things because it didn't result to how we first invision it to be, nevertheless let us choose to live life by allowing ourselves to feel today and be thankful of possible tomorrows. This may mean taking one step infront of the other, but as long as we are moving towards the 'uncertain' tomorrow, that is exactly enough for what you need for today..and who knows, tomorrow might bring its own glimpse of light.
@LadyThinkerBell-2023
