How I stopped being emotional

“Your emotions are the slaves to your thoughts, and you are the slave to your emotions.”

Elizabeth Gilber

We have different types of emotion, among them is anger. Everyone is prone to getting angry over something, they are just on levels. There are some, whose anger could destroy things. There are some, whose anger could make them not forgive forever, and there are some, whose anger could make them feel emotional and tears would start dropping from their eyes.

Among all of these, I am in the last category and it's been long I have been wanting to control myself when I feel angered. Though, when I am angry, I quickly end it so it doesn't turn into hatred for me or make me start to judge people, and think of the bad sides of them than the good side. If you would notice, that when you are angry with a person, you will begin to think negatively about him or her, and think of the bad sides rather than the good side of them.

I have been emotional right from childhood and whenever something hurt or angers me, I would start crying, and to make it worse, if you ask me about it, the tears would start first even before I utter a word. I know this isn't good for me especially when I am now grown up.

When I watch movies that are so emotional, I would cry and imagine the movie is real. Whereas, those who made the movie already finished and left, and I am the one stressing myself over a fictional movie.

Something happened to me last Saturday and this same emotion happened, but I instantly found a solution to it, and it might help you too if you feel the same way as me.

Trust me, these techniques would work for everyone if you are ready, because to me, I feel, being too emotional shouldn't be necessary at some point else, people might take you for a weak fellow.

A friend called and asked when I would be returning which I told her, on Sunday. She saw it as an opportunity to help her get something from her Uncle who lives in the state. She pleaded with me to help her bring it along. I asked her if the stuff isn't heavy or much. I won't be able to help her because I was considering my luggage too.

She said it's just a small stuff and I agreed to help her since she stays in the same compound with me. She gave my contact to her Uncle and we communicated where I would come to collect the stuff from him.

To cut the long story short, I took a bike to the place, a far city in the state. When I arrived there, I saw the stuff was so heavy and I couldn't turn back again, but I collected it, and to make the matter worse, this man couldn't give me transport fare back. I thought my friend already discussed things with him because she can't expect me to pay for what belonged to her.

As the bike man turned back, I started thinking different things in my mind. I became angered. Not because the man didn't give me the money, but the fact that my friend said the stuff isn't a heavy one. How does she expect me to carry this with my luggage? This, and different questions were in my mind as the bike man kept moving.

At that point, I knew if someone should ask me what was wrong, I will cry. The tears were already planning to drop from my eyes because the thought of how to carry everything in my journey was all over me. I was sad, angered, pissed off and frustrated. These were the emotions all over my face.

When I got home, my Aunt saw me and asked what was wrong. I wanted to speak out, but the tears that were already swelled on my face dropped down and I went inside.

I wanted to call my friend, but I knew my state of mind then. I might end up transferring all my aggression to her. I chatted her but wasn't online. I expressed myself through the chat and made her know I was so hurt and I never expected that.

I went to sleep and placed my phone in “Do not disturb” mode as I do not need any distraction, as I might say what I do not want to say.

This technique helped me stop my anger and calmed me down, because when I woke up, It was as if nothing happened. I saw missed calls and it was from my friend. I knew she had read the message I sent on WhatsApp. When I called her back, I only calmly expressed myself and didn't end in misunderstanding, but we laughed over it and that was the end.

Do you understand what happened in this scenario?

Yes, I was angry, I felt emotional about the whole issue, and for me not to take a wrong decision, for me not to keep thinking about the bad side of my friend, and for me not to transfer my aggression to others or say what I ought not to say, I had to sleep and calmed myself down as this helped me return to my normal state when I woke up.

I addressed the situation in a relief way as it also helped me too not to disgrace myself when talking to her. This is through allowing myself quiet time by sleeping.

There are other ways you can manage your emotions other than this, and they are;

• Walk away from the situation

• Decide if the person deliberately hurt you

• Refrain from taking any decisions at that moment

• Relax your facial expression

• You have to breathe before responding.

I hope with this, you will be able to confront and manage your emotions anytime.

Thanks for reading.

Image by Elyas from Unsplash

[August 09, 2022] (No 221 articles for the year)