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You look at the blueprint, the expected outcome, you have this miniature - in your head and maybe physically - of how it would come out and you see it as really good so you set your heart on it?
Every morning you are excited to do your part. Every single thing about it. and then midway....
*a phone alarm rings aloud on the bedside table*
Patrick moans annoyed as he tried to roll off the bed.
And rolled off the bed he did and on the wooden floor with his blanket as well.
"What day is it?"
He reached for the blaring phone on the bedside table only to realize he rolled off the wrong side of the bed. He groaned. He closed his eyes for a moment counted four seconds, forgot how "four seconds" applies, decides to stand up, roll on the bed to the other side, grabbed the phone on the table to turn off the noisy alarm. He then raised his arms up like those American Ninja Warriors finishing their course. Still with arms up, he faced the invisible cheering audience while screaming "yeah".
Coming back to his senses, he gives himself good soft slaps on each side of his face to "wake" himself a bit.
He looks at his phone for the time. It says, "7:19 am". He's got enough time.
He then proceeded with his routine of washing up, prepping his breakfast of poached egg, toast and five strips of bacon. He normally just cooks three but for today, he is spoiling himself with five.
He was out the door by 8:30, and was in front of his office building by 8:45. He looked up at the skyscraper. He took a deep breath and allowed himself to be amused at how the exterior of the building reflects the blue clear sky and the clouds that roll by.
Looking up at it, the noise of the traffic gets muffled and is replaced by a Mozart piece. He loves looking up the building. His gaze lands on the window of his office. Then realizes he has to move because he has a full day ahead.
He landed on this dream project he's been eyeing since he got in to the company. He looked up their projects and saw this one as his thing. They have been working on it for three months now. It was not easy. But sleeping it off seems to work so far and next day is another day to build that dream outcome. So with excited gait, he moved forward and got into the building.
Two hours after, he was running his hand through his disheveled hair. He is sweating profusely even though the office temp is cold. He jumps at the mere sound of a phone nearby he jumps or his heart starts pounding in his chest. At the sight of his boss coming out of the conference room, everything goes in slow motion, everything is on mute except for the thump of his heart and his heavy breathing. Everything goes back to normal when his boss goes past his table.
What is happening?
He paced the floor after he saw his boss clock out. Something in him is no longer excited about the whole thing. Is it him? The project? His colleagues? The boss? The direction?
Next day, his day looked like a rerun of yesterday.
Ever been like Patrick?
Sometimes in life, we see one WHOLE THING and see that it is beautiful. But what we do not see, zooming in, to get to that "beauty", a lot of hard work and toughening up is required.
Maybe when times get weird when working on something and you lose sight of the beauty of what you are working on, maybe we need to step back a bit. Some hard work is necessary to get to that big picture. Maybe stepping back will bring you back to that drive or to the realization if it is worth it even. Maybe after stepping back and giving yourself some time, you can revaluate if you can still be part of that whole thing or if it has affected you enough to realize, the direction is nowhere near where you want to be anyway ... or after all.