Water Off The Duck's Back.

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1 year ago

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One thing I've been able to learn about life is that I need to grow a thick skin. Life is for the brave. Life is not for the faint-hearted and once you are, you get easily blown away. Life was designed to be easy but with the human factor, it cannot always remain so.

I've seen a lot of people complain about life and still, life would always stay the same. We can only effect the change we can because we are not responsible to fix every problem. A lot of people assume too many responsibilities thinking they have to fix every problem and when they assume that role they soon get discouraged and frustrated. They soon burn out and then so many caves in, in the process.

I can never fully understand life just as you cannot fully understand life. Just when you think you understand everything about life, life happens and that which you think you know would turn around to bite you in the end. One step at a time, one problem at a time. Assuming too many responsibilities on what to solve would always hurt you as humans.

A lot of people live their lives trying to please everyone. It's not your responsibility if others find you appealing or not because even at your best, those who won't find you appealing won't find you appealing. Break the sweat and shed the blood, your best still won't be enough for those who are placing demands on you.

Another category of people I have noticed about life is those who are trying to place a demand where they didn't sow. Imagine going into another person's field trying to claim the crops they have planted. How does that even work? Naturally, we would want to be there for those who showed themselves worthy of being there for us. Many people want you to cross the hurdle for them when they won't even jump the puddle for you. Value should be seen and rewarded accordingly. It's funny how so many people want you to do for them what they would never do for you even in their most convenient position. They place a demand where they have not sown or planted and they would always come short except they are dealing with another set of people who live their lives seeking other people's approval.

I don't live my life seeking other people's approval. After all is said and done, most things are said and not done. The worst anyone can do is to sly your reputation but sooner or later the truth would always come rushing to the surface. It might look like they are winning after putting you down but it's only a matter of time before they are seen for who they are.

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A lot of people have caged themselves into the bracket of what others would say or what they have said. Life would either bless you or bury you. It's not what others say about you that matters but what you say to yourself when everyone is done talking. As long as you have a clear conscience enough to sleep at night, whatever anyone says to slander you should be like water off the duck's back.

Water off the duck's back means whatever they throw at you won't go skin deep. It would be brushed off and you won't let it determine who you are or punish another unjustly for the fear of what others might say. Your good deeds, a lot of people would read meanings to it. It's natural because most people judge you based on the things they would do themselves. They see you help a lady, they think it's because you want to bed her...that's because that's what they would do if they were presented with the same opportunity or it might be because that's what they have been used to seeing around. So, why should you live your life in the reality of what others think? My reality is my reality, your reality is your reality. It doesn't mean I would always be right as long as I leave room for improvement, I am good to go.

Forget all the things they have said about you. If what they said is true, try and work on it. You don't need to try and impress others so they would see how you have changed. Learn to grow silently and be intentional about your growth. If what they are saying isn't true, why do you feel the need to feel bad over those people that their opinion doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things? I don't know how I am wired but I've stopped trying to live for the approval of others. Whatever you think of me, it's okay as long as I know what I think of myself.

I saw how my dad gave himself to others. I saw how a lot of people troop in to ask for help - family, friends, strangers and when he died, they didn't only keep their distance, I heard how a lot of them said they were not helped in any way so why should they grieve? That's humans for you and ever since then I've grown a thick skin and I know even at my best, those who would hate me would still hate me. My conscience, my intentions and my growth are all the things that matter to me so whatever anyone says is water off a duck's back.

The true beauty of humans is the ability to grow. We should never become like those who hurt us. A lot of people would stay off helping others just because they saw how their father was betrayed but we don't have to burn the bridges because someone found it worth spitting on it. It might be a closed road for that person but what about others whose lives depend on it? Help those you can help, be the best you can be to people without coercion but with the willingness of heart and whatever anyone says about you in the negative, let it be water off the duck's back.

Thank you for your time.

My pen doesn't bleed, it speaks. I am love's chemical content in human form and that's why I advise people to take a dose of "Olawalium" daily. 🙈

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1 year ago

Comments

Life is mysterious and Its problems/ issues can't be all solved, when we carry too much responsibilities on our heads having the mindsets that we're going to solve all the problems, we're just going to get harmed because life itself can not be fully understood. The way some people are, they can't move an inch for you but would expect you to move a mile for them, hmm! I call those kinds of people the "gold digger", they always want to get results from where they never put effort, they never had good intentions for you but will want to eat you to the depth , that's why we must not live our lives pleasing others. What matters most is the right words you say to yourself, and not the demoting words of others. In as much you have a conscious void of offence, you're good to good.

Sir, i remember in one of your Articles, how Dad helped some people but when he was no more, they said he never did anything to them. That's Human being oh! If you give the best Treasure on Earth to some people, they would still say you've done nothing. In conclusion, we should just help expecting our rewards from God the ultimate rewarder, whoever choose to be ingrate or say bad words at our back shouldn't matter to us. Thanks for this, Sir.

$ 0.05
1 year ago

Thank you so much, brother. God is the ultimate rewarder. Humans would always fail us with their actions and words. What we say to ourselves should matter more than what others say or think of us. With honesty about ourselves, we can know where to improve and when to just ignore others since what they are saying isn't true.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

I already had this realization. People would hate you because they hate you, and no matter what you do , what you did wouldn't be enough because they don't like you. We really can't force or please people to like us and so it would be better if we will appreciate our own efforts and don't bother about what other people may say. They can say what they wanna say, but I would do what I would love to do. Their words are like a water that indeed back off from the Ducks back as they don't mean anything for me now. My life, my choice and my rules. I don't care anymore, if they don't really like me for who I am.

$ 0.04
1 year ago

Our lives, our rules... I love that. We are to take responsibilities for our actions and whatever anyone thinks of us as long as we know who we are, it doesn't really matter.

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1 year ago

Yes! Exactly! I love this Mr Ola, in this life, we can't please everyone, those who would hate, would hate and those who would love, would love. Forcing them to like us or doing things to please others while displeasing ourselves is wrong.

A statement you wrote, really made me understand why some people do what they do: "people judge you based on the things they would do themselves." This is very true, This explains why my father had the audacity to actually call me names, I was deeply hurt though, I hate being called what I'm not, but then after reading this, especially that sentence, I've seen the reason why he did what he did. I'm actually calmer now.

We shouldn't care less about what others say or think, inasmuch as we're doing what's right for ourselves. So yeah! It's so going to be like water off the duck's back from now on.💃💖

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1 year ago

I'm so sorry he called you names. He should be building you up and not tear you down. As long as we keep doing what's right, we should care less about the opinion of others which they mostly say because they want to control us.

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1 year ago

Perhaps you cannot really please everybody even if you are living a life like a saint. But what matters most is living life in serenity without seeking the approval of others. If they like you, it would be okay, and if they do not like you, still it is very fine. For as long as you are not taking the flaws of others just to please them, then everything is alright. After all, water off the ducks would not go skin deep as inner peace dwells in your life.

$ 0.03
1 year ago

This is beautiful. You absolutely nailed this my friend. Wow. I love how you deeply understood this and your reply is just spot-on. Thanks a lot for this.

$ 0.02
1 year ago

You are most welcome my dear friend, Ola. Just my humble thoughts on your article, as I so love to read them always. I so love how you deeply think and write from the heart.

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1 year ago

I feel blessed and honoured to hear that and to have you here as well. Deeply appreciated dear. 🤗🤗🤗

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Less expectations less disappointments, life has a lot to offer, we shouldn't be settling for less, and bare minimimum, some humans are always wanted revenge to people who done them wrong, but yes there are still that let it go and the revenge they want is to not be the same person who done them wrong, and for them that's enough.

$ 0.02
1 year ago

Thank you my friend, for sharing your input. I always enjoy reading from you.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

I have seen a lot of people who assume so many responsibilities that they end up breaking in the long run and not that am saying they should not ooh, because them doing and taking those responsibilities made them better in themselves and made them stronger too but something is missing in there lives, for us living in Nigeria here to me I will say you said it better take one responsibility at a time because that frustration of taking so many responsibilities, life is just full of surprises when you think you are done, boom 💣 it hits you back with more responsibilities, so I think and say it again Take it easy, have fun, take one step and one responsibility at a time

$ 0.04
1 year ago

Absolutely. This nation will frustrate you and people would always want to put you down. We just have to do what's best for ourselves and grow that thick skin

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1 year ago

Those who think reaping where they didn't sow are just so funny.... Life will still be life no matter what, thinking what people will think or their words toward you shouldn't make one start seeking unnecessary validation. The beauty of human is truly the ability to grow because no one will help, therefore one has to grow a tough skin go beat the harsh reality of life.

$ 0.03
1 year ago

The realities of life are always harsh and humans are the most unreliable there is. If we keep listening to everything and everyone, we would always feel down.

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1 year ago

Unreliable and will bring one down with their snake like tongue when one look up to them for validation. Toughening one's skin and learning in every possible way while growing makes the harsh reality of life a knockout.

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1 year ago

I absolutely subscribe to that. We have to grow it. It won't be easy but we have to try.

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1 year ago

As a sensitive type, I can't help but get affected by other people's opinion about me. But I'm trying not to listen to them everytime.

$ 0.02
1 year ago

I understand the sensitive part because things get to us more than each other. There comes a time we have to learn how to grow a thick skin else people would intentionally say what they don't mean just to put us down.

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1 year ago

No matter how people hurt me I don't think about revenge

$ 0.01
1 year ago

That's a level of maturity and I admire that.

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1 year ago

I'd always tell people that do good because you want to and not because you want to please anyone. Whatever reason for it, people will twist it however they can, and would you rather they are right about you or wrong about you? Sometimes also, people will simply want to take advantage of your kindness and come for favours because you can't say NO to them.

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1 year ago

Humans would always take advantage. I still spoke with a friend today that I had to tell to grow a tough skin because people would rip her to the bones and still, they won't have her back.

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1 year ago

When demands increased from our expectations it produces imbalance condition. We should expect less from people and think about what need to us. A good motivational writing brother.

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1 year ago

It's indeed an imbalance when we try to place a demand from where we never planted.

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1 year ago

Exactly we should not demand more than we deserved. We should run smoothly till our success shoats with true facts. We should ignore the things what others thinks about us. We should remove bad things and improve good things that are benefacial to us. We can't limit to ourselves just because someone thinks bad about us. A barking dog is doing its job so it didn't need we stop for it.

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1 year ago

Hahaha this is beautiful. A barking dog doesn't need to stop because he is doing his job...it's left to us to pay attention or choose to ignore.

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1 year ago

For me ignore is best option 😉. I can't take pain into my ass due to its rude behavior.

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1 year ago

Hahahaha I like that and I respect that.

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1 year ago

There's no amount of things we will do to people that they will get satisfy, if you help them today and they appreciate you at the moment. When they needs help from you again another and you can't meet up to them, they can easily forget the ones you helped them in the past days,.. do what ever you want to do to people it's just like someone pouring water on the duck's back it will just shake those waters away and go it's way.

$ 0.03
1 year ago

That's the ways of humans. We are quick to forget.

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1 year ago

That is exactly human for us..

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1 year ago

This is the reason we need to grow that thick skin.

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1 year ago

Life has a choice and we're going to make it. That's what we called existentialism.

$ 0.01
1 year ago

That's right. We have a choice to make.

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1 year ago

People will always have something to say, if we do good or bad, sometimes they talk sense while sometimes they talk like their mouth is not connected to their brain before speaking, at the end of the day, we only got ourselves and not what people say, cause the people won't be around to help sort out the bills.

$ 0.03
1 year ago

😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣😂 I felt that...hahaha. We are responsible for ourselves.

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1 year ago

That's what I aim for, living my life without giving two cents on other people's unsolicited opinions, I love this

$ 0.02
1 year ago

That's the way to go...that's how to live.

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1 year ago

If we begin to care about all the things we see and experience, we might end up having no time for growth

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1 year ago

I love that and that's the truth...we won't have time for growth.

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1 year ago