Water Off The Duck's Back.
One thing I've been able to learn about life is that I need to grow a thick skin. Life is for the brave. Life is not for the faint-hearted and once you are, you get easily blown away. Life was designed to be easy but with the human factor, it cannot always remain so.
I've seen a lot of people complain about life and still, life would always stay the same. We can only effect the change we can because we are not responsible to fix every problem. A lot of people assume too many responsibilities thinking they have to fix every problem and when they assume that role they soon get discouraged and frustrated. They soon burn out and then so many caves in, in the process.
I can never fully understand life just as you cannot fully understand life. Just when you think you understand everything about life, life happens and that which you think you know would turn around to bite you in the end. One step at a time, one problem at a time. Assuming too many responsibilities on what to solve would always hurt you as humans.
A lot of people live their lives trying to please everyone. It's not your responsibility if others find you appealing or not because even at your best, those who won't find you appealing won't find you appealing. Break the sweat and shed the blood, your best still won't be enough for those who are placing demands on you.
Another category of people I have noticed about life is those who are trying to place a demand where they didn't sow. Imagine going into another person's field trying to claim the crops they have planted. How does that even work? Naturally, we would want to be there for those who showed themselves worthy of being there for us. Many people want you to cross the hurdle for them when they won't even jump the puddle for you. Value should be seen and rewarded accordingly. It's funny how so many people want you to do for them what they would never do for you even in their most convenient position. They place a demand where they have not sown or planted and they would always come short except they are dealing with another set of people who live their lives seeking other people's approval.
I don't live my life seeking other people's approval. After all is said and done, most things are said and not done. The worst anyone can do is to sly your reputation but sooner or later the truth would always come rushing to the surface. It might look like they are winning after putting you down but it's only a matter of time before they are seen for who they are.
A lot of people have caged themselves into the bracket of what others would say or what they have said. Life would either bless you or bury you. It's not what others say about you that matters but what you say to yourself when everyone is done talking. As long as you have a clear conscience enough to sleep at night, whatever anyone says to slander you should be like water off the duck's back.
Water off the duck's back means whatever they throw at you won't go skin deep. It would be brushed off and you won't let it determine who you are or punish another unjustly for the fear of what others might say. Your good deeds, a lot of people would read meanings to it. It's natural because most people judge you based on the things they would do themselves. They see you help a lady, they think it's because you want to bed her...that's because that's what they would do if they were presented with the same opportunity or it might be because that's what they have been used to seeing around. So, why should you live your life in the reality of what others think? My reality is my reality, your reality is your reality. It doesn't mean I would always be right as long as I leave room for improvement, I am good to go.
Forget all the things they have said about you. If what they said is true, try and work on it. You don't need to try and impress others so they would see how you have changed. Learn to grow silently and be intentional about your growth. If what they are saying isn't true, why do you feel the need to feel bad over those people that their opinion doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things? I don't know how I am wired but I've stopped trying to live for the approval of others. Whatever you think of me, it's okay as long as I know what I think of myself.
I saw how my dad gave himself to others. I saw how a lot of people troop in to ask for help - family, friends, strangers and when he died, they didn't only keep their distance, I heard how a lot of them said they were not helped in any way so why should they grieve? That's humans for you and ever since then I've grown a thick skin and I know even at my best, those who would hate me would still hate me. My conscience, my intentions and my growth are all the things that matter to me so whatever anyone says is water off a duck's back.
The true beauty of humans is the ability to grow. We should never become like those who hurt us. A lot of people would stay off helping others just because they saw how their father was betrayed but we don't have to burn the bridges because someone found it worth spitting on it. It might be a closed road for that person but what about others whose lives depend on it? Help those you can help, be the best you can be to people without coercion but with the willingness of heart and whatever anyone says about you in the negative, let it be water off the duck's back.
Thank you for your time.
My pen doesn't bleed, it speaks. I am love's chemical content in human form and that's why I advise people to take a dose of "Olawalium" daily. 🙈
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Life is mysterious and Its problems/ issues can't be all solved, when we carry too much responsibilities on our heads having the mindsets that we're going to solve all the problems, we're just going to get harmed because life itself can not be fully understood. The way some people are, they can't move an inch for you but would expect you to move a mile for them, hmm! I call those kinds of people the "gold digger", they always want to get results from where they never put effort, they never had good intentions for you but will want to eat you to the depth , that's why we must not live our lives pleasing others. What matters most is the right words you say to yourself, and not the demoting words of others. In as much you have a conscious void of offence, you're good to good.
Sir, i remember in one of your Articles, how Dad helped some people but when he was no more, they said he never did anything to them. That's Human being oh! If you give the best Treasure on Earth to some people, they would still say you've done nothing. In conclusion, we should just help expecting our rewards from God the ultimate rewarder, whoever choose to be ingrate or say bad words at our back shouldn't matter to us. Thanks for this, Sir.