The Way Some People Think.

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2 years ago

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When it comes to a relationship, you don’t have to go into it when you are not ready. In a relationship, you have to give as much as you take if you want to keep your relevance.

If you are the type, that wants to always receive and never give anything back, then the relationship is not for you...yet. You can’t love without giving and as long as you are not offering better value then it is a matter of time before that relationship hits the rock.

So many people have a weird idea of what a relationship should be all about. To some, they always have to be at the receiving end which doesn't make for a healthy relationship because let's face it, we are all humans and even the best of heads can get tired sometimes.

I came across a story on Twitter many years ago and as usual, it was shocking. She said she accepted the proposal from his boyfriend and they are now engaged. She said her boyfriend, now fiancée has been driving a particular car for 4 years and in all honesty, the driver’s seat is bad. I saw it too and it was an eyesore. She said she told him to change the car but the guy said all he has money for right now is for their wedding and not for a new car.

The guy is working; he is loving and okay, according to the lady. She said she once told him to at least buy a seat cover for the seat with the hole but he said he only has money for the wedding and the car or seat cover can come later. She went on about how she is always ashamed when they both go out together in that car and how she sometimes doesn’t want to leave the car or be identified with this man.

Her dilemma is she is thinking of returning the guy’s proposal ring if he is not willing to fix the car seat or buy a new car. She said she is a Corp member and she is tired of the embarrassment the car seat is causing anytime they go out. Some people won't stop to amaze me.

When I read her tweet, I was just shaking my head. This is a lady that will sit back and watch her husband do everything because she has been conditioned to think "Guys should do everything." According to her, the guy is okay and her dream guy, and yet she can’t go out of the way for him and buy the seat cover for the car out of her allowance??? I am sure the guy can afford a seat cover, but there are some tiny details guys can overlook sometimes. I was praying that she would return the ring because she is doing the guy a huge favour.

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I don’t understand what some people think. You want to spend the rest of your life with someone and you don’t deem such a person worthy of a sacrifice of your monthly allowance, to fix a car you are both using? She is a leech and she has a weird idea of what a relationship entails. This is clearly the type of lady that would sit back and wait for her husband to come before she can fix something in the house or prepare food, in case the money transfer fails. Ask her what she does with her money and you will see most are on needless things. I don't appreciate those who can't use their discretion.

You can’t leave everything to your partner to do and that goes both ways because there are some guys too who feel only a lady can do certain things. If he is not worthy of your monthly allowance, then he shouldn’t be worth marrying, it is as simple as that.

Another story I came across on Twitter was about a guy who proposed to a lady and the lady put senses into his head. I love strong women like that. This lady actually gave him some tough love even though some might feel the guy was disgraced.

The guy proposed and the lady told him to stand up. She told him, "You don’t have a job, a house, a car, and can’t even pay to make my hair or yours and you are proposing?" She dragged him up, gave the ring back to him and she held him while they left the scene. Other ladies would have probably left the guy kneeling on the spot and left but not this lady. She left the scene with him which points out one thing; she likes him and she wants him to do better. She obviously didn’t say she won’t marry him, she desire better, with him.

A lot of people need to understand that a relationship or marriage is not all about what we see it to be. There are a lot of details underneath which with patience and dedication, you would understand. You need to be ready financially, socially, sexually, morally, mentally and even physically.

We need to understand what a relationship is all about before dabbling into it. Maybe this is why we have more broken relationships and divorces in the first place. Once the foundation is faulty, the building can never stand. Fix it and be humble enough to learn while playing your part.

Thank you for your time.

My pen doesn't bleed, it speaks. I am love's chemical content in human form and that's why I advise people to take a dose of "Olawalium" daily. 🙈

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2 years ago

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The first woman is just a shame to women. You seem to know a lot of these Mr. Ola. It looks like today's world has been very much corrupted already. She is truly the definition of selfish. A car seat should not cost much anyhow. If it bothers her then she should be the one that changes it. Her fiancé had been living with that car seat with no problem. It is just aesthetics at the end of the day.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

Thank you so much for this. Indeed, if it bothers her that much she should have changed it. She obviously doesn't want to use her money for him and yet he wants him to keep lavishing on her. She's selfish and I question her motive in that relationship. It's really annoying to say the least.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

It is a form of abuse really. Women should not force men to buy things. And women can also earn and contribute.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Thank you for this. I don't understand how some feel so entitled. They feel they are lesser humans and I don't think they understand their worth.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

The foundation in any relationship should definitely be strong only then you can grow together by accepting and forgiving each other. If one keeps finding faults on the other there is no reason in continuing the relationship.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Some people are experts when it comes to finding faults. It shows they are not fully vested into that relationship.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Indeed, you have to give as much as you take if you want to keep a good relationship.

The first lady could buy him cover, but she only wanted to the take part, whereas the second yes she wanted both but she could do that while accepting his proposal.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

The first lady isn't serious and she has a weird understanding of what a relationship should be about. The second lady is more reasonable. She really wanted to help the guy.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Yes it is but the lady in second case could do that while giving accepting the proposal, I guess.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Accepting the proposal means you have few months to marry. The guy is nowhere near ready for that marriage.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I got your point, but all I wanted to say that the lady could accept the proposal with the condition to overcome mentioned above... 😂

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Nah... That's like playing with fire. You don't smell what you don't want to eat. The pressure would be much and the guy might feel relaxed.

Ideally, accepting a proposal means you have 3 months to wedding or 4 months.... Except the guy wants to perform a magic then he should have done that before now 😂🤣. There is no point accepting a ring only to wear it for a year or more.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Except the guy wants to perform a magic then he should have done that before now 😂🤣.

Agree to this point. I could now say you are right. Actually I'm younger and still have been learning about my life, actually not about life as I don't have spare time from study to learn about life... LOL

I'm really grateful

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Hahaha don't worry, life's lessons are progressive and as we go through life we live and learn. Thank you for being here, dear. I really appreciate it.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Some woman really think that way, I mean they don't like or want to share their money because for them it's a guy's responsibility. The woman in the first story is kind of selfish and if I were a man I wouldn't marry a woman that has an attitude like that. Because for sure one day she will turn her back from me. I do believe that if we love the person we will help, we will support, it should be mutual. If the other person can do sacrifices for the relationship, then the other one should be the same. The relationship won't work if only one is working for its betterment.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

Thank you so much. She's indeed selfish. She feels the guy should do everything and wouldn't help in her own little way. I wish the guy didn't marry her too or at least I hope she has changed after the banter she received on Twitter for her indiscretion and selfishness.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

The lady could have helped the guy buy a new car seat. It’s always give and take. Hot and cold. Respect and understanding comes along with love and loyalty. Me and my love have not tied the knot yet. I left my job a month ago and he is working full time. Basically, I got nothing to contribute anymore but I make up. I wake up at 3 or 4am to prepare his meals for the day. I clean and wash our clothes and in the afternoon before he comes home i always make sure that we have hot water in our thermo water container so he can have coffee when he arrives. It’s the small things that I do to make him comfortable when he gets home. That’s give and take.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

God bless you and God bless your heart. You are making up for it and that's because you have consideration. He would appreciate those things and would gladly cross the hurdles for you. It's about being thoughtful and you are. The other lady isn't thoughtful at all and it's sad.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

First lady the classis mistake of it's all about me. Cares too much about what others think based on physical objects rather than what's in front of her.

Second lady good for her and him. Guy has a chance to re-look at himself and be better man to take care of future responsibility. Lady can wait and see if he is willing to make these changes not only for her but for himself. Sometimes faults can be fixed in people!!

$ 0.03
2 years ago

I agree...faults can be fixed in people and we are to help one another because we all have our blind side. I'm glad the second lady was reasonable enough even though the first lady isn't a serious one and I hope the backlash she gets from her tweet would make her fix her fault and do better with her fiancée.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

We have the same thinking, why not buy for a seat cover? OH common! I am not a type lady that won't hesitate to spend some penny for my lover. Opss not that like a "sugar mama"😂. It is just ,.love is a two way process, it's give and take.. Hehe, i can even pay for our meal sometimes😆

$ 0.03
2 years ago

Love is a two way street my dear and I love women who can use their discretion.

Hahaha the sugar mama part made me laugh. Come and be my sugar mama 😂🤣😂

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Haha of course as it should be.

Lol, cause I hate others notion that when your spending money to your lover some branded you as sugar mama😂. Haler, it shouldn't be like that... We are now in modern era..

Wait, I will placed a bet in lottery who.knows I might win. Then I can be😅

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Hahahaha you don't need lottery to be my sugar mummy... Hive earnings are enough. I am a simple and modest guy. I don't charge much 🤣😂🤣🤣

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Haha, not that high maintenance? Hbd will do? Lol

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Absolutely...not that high maintenance and HBD would be perfect.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

haha or let us just reverse, be my Sugar papa, oh haha

$ 0.00
2 years ago

😂😂🤣😂🤣 you don't want to spend on me. Okay, let's reverse... Let me be your sugar daddy... That means I will do with you the things sugar daddies do... Let's goooooo

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Hahhaha OMg😂

$ 0.00
2 years ago

🙈🙈🙈🙈

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Girls and leaving everything to their men is just not good

$ 0.01
2 years ago

It's terrible and I don't really appreciate it too.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Personally, when people enter in a relationship a woman shouldn't think that a man will treat her like a Queen if she can't even treat her like a King. It's give and take, it's more on understanding.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

God bless you. You hold him like a pinch of salt and you expect him to carry you like a bag of rice. It doesn't work that way at all.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Poor couples don't even have the maturity to understand their partners and expecting love and gifts. That first example is hilarious and I think she would have been trolled badly, lol as that tweet deserves.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

I banked on her being trolled so well because her reason doesn't make sense at all. I hope the guy didn't marry her though. He dodged a bullet if he didn't.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Some people choose to stay in the relationship because of material things or wealth that they can get from their partners. marriage is sacred, and you made a promise not only to the people around you but also to God. In a relationship even in richer and in poorer you will be as one.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Most people are in it for material gains and it's shocking to see them normalize this.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I think relationship is all about care and love from both side, and I think it's upto ladies most of the time with their support and love a guy can achieve many things, well dear Ola I have published my article in which I have shared my few poems you promised me to read my poems once I will publish them, I mentioned you there I hope you gonna read them, getting your presence in my article would be great reward and honour for me. hope to see you.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Love and care should be from both sides and I am happy to read this from you.

Oh really? I would definitely read the post, don't worry and thanks for tagging me in it. It makes it easier.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Even before you brought up the idea of her buying the seat cover, I was thinking of it too because I see nothing bad in her buying the seat cover if truly she does not like the way the seat looks.

I am sure she has never bought anything for a guy before😅. Werey😅😅

$ 0.03
2 years ago

😂😂🤣🤣😂🤣 I am so sure she is used to getting things. It's common sense...she can buy it and see how appreciative that guy would be. That girl needs a hard reset with banter.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Every relationship has more life when both partner cooperate with each other. If someone can afford a cover seat then must buy it for at least his/her partner.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

I wonder why she didn't buy it and yet she was moaning about how bad the car seat is. She's just unserious.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

The guy isn't working, how could he afford a proposal ring? 😅😅😅 The first lady isn't sensible. I believe she would be the type of lady to always wait for daddy to drop “owo obe” so they can eat.

The guy might intentionally not buy the car seat but trying to see if she would be wise to do that for him. At least he is marrying you, why not take the step to do something worth it?

Some ladies would think being in a relationship means the guy should be responsible for everything. Then, some guys sef..... Does he want to suffer the lady after they marry? Cuz I don't get it 😂😂😂

$ 0.03
2 years ago

That second guy made me laugh so hard because he can afford a ring and yet he can't start a business or use the same help he used in getting the ring to get a job. I'm glad that lady put him in his place while helping him.

As for the first lady enh... I have no words again for her. She's a joke for a lady. It's disappointing.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Replace the car with a kid. Some people will only love the partner and not the kid/s. There is a saying here that when you marry someone, you marry the entire family.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

This lady thinks different. She can't even help with car seat. She would wreck the guy all because she has a kid for him later in the future with demands.

$ 0.00
2 years ago