Sometimes We Don't Have To Ask For It.

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There are some things beyond our control just as we have things within our control. For some situations, there is absolutely nothing else you can do about it than to deal with it and for others, it boils down to our choice to prevent them or avoid them. Whatever life throws our way we always have a choice and that's the truth. It doesn't have to be between two great choices but still, we have a choice.

This world is a wicked place but still, we see those enjoying life to the fullest and they would tell you differently. What am I saying? We have two worlds in this life; the good and the bad. When things go well, we feel on top of the world and happy but when things don't go right, we think we are the only one in the world facing hardship like no one else.

Have you ever lost a loved one? How did you feel? You would wish the world can stop momentarily for a moment just to take notice of your hurt and the pain that comes with it. You want the whole world to gaze and look in your direction to offer some sympathy as though that would magically make everything okay. We crave attention amidst our grief and wish the world can take a moment just to acknowledge our pain.

It's okay if we focus on ourselves at that moment because no one can understand the pain of losing someone except they have been there before. When we lost dad and then later mum, I wish the world would take a moment to notice and acknowledge it. I wanted sympathy, I wanted pity but even with the ones that came, it didn't make the pain any easier. It was at that moment I knew that I am the one with the choice on how to respond to any situation that happens whether I asked for that situation or not. I wanted that focus yet I forgot at that moment that people die daily and still, the world didn't stop for them, so why should it stop for me?

I learnt a lot in those moments of grief and everyone moves on quickly...why won't they? They have a life to live, they have families to get back to, they have history to create and happiness to disperse, so why should they wallow in sadness when the best part of their lives are still yet to be lived? I noticed also that being pitied can get you too comfortable. There were times I didn't even want to do anything because it was easy to grieve and that's the moment you can be excused for losing focus and not doing much with your life since everyone would give you an excuse that makes sense, "He just lost his father." "He is still healing." "Be nice, didn't you hear what happened to his dad?" "They have no support, what else do you want them to do?" Etc...

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Other people make excuses for you and you feel too comfortable that you just don't want to do anything but being pitied is like a ground that is not fertile because nothing meaningful ever grows there. It would get to a point where they would stop making excuses for you and start attacking you because it has gotten old. You would start hearing, "He is not serious. He doesn't know what to do with his life." "Is he the only one to lose his dad?" "I know of a child (even if they don't know) that lost both parents and he is now a medical doctor, so what's his excuse?" Etc...

The thing is, people move on quickly and there is no time for anyone to stay pitied for long. There are bills to pay, responsibilities piling up, life to be lived...no one has time to stay down for long because before you know it, your age starts counting and life starts passing you by.

There are things we can't control that would happen to us in life. It would knock us down, drag us to filth, ridicule us and make us lose focus but we always have a choice to make, whether to wallow in it or keep moving with life. It's not easy, God knows I know it isn't easy because I have been there. I was so close to my dad but I had no issues with my mum. When dad passed away, I tried to make up for the time with mum to get to know her more than I've used to. You know, trying to pour the love on her and when we were bonding and hitting it off, she also left the earth. It was easier for me to just make a mess out of life at that time because it would make sense to everyone but I knew I had a choice to make.

I didn't want it, yes, but it has happened, so I just have to get on with it and make a fine tune with the broken strings that life has given my guitar. I'm still making the tunes and it's making sense because I have those who dance to it...life can be beautiful again...maybe not as we would have wanted but it doesn't have to be worse either.

We don't have to ask for problems before they come but when they come we have to seek ways to be better; using that situation to our advantage. It's never easy but it's either we stay down or move on. If we keep staying under with the world's mounting issues, when are we ever going to get anything done? Take as much time as you can to heal before you move on but never live in denial of your pains or troubles and let the end goal always be to make you better and not bitter.

Thank you for your time.

My pen doesn't bleed, it speaks. I am love's chemical content in human form and that's why I advise people to take a dose of "Olawalium" daily. 🙈

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