Relationship and Stress.

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2 years ago

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Relationships will stress you and that's the truth. As fun and interesting as being a relationship can be, it will stress you and that's why I always tell anyone who cares to listen to go with their heart and their head as well as to build their mental strength to handle things.

Ladies would always act like ladies and that's not an insult. I am saying that because they are extra sensitive and every little detail counts for them. As a guy, you can't say because something didn't bother you then you would assume that it won't bother her. It's a costly assumption to make because it only portrays the guy as insensitive.

Ladies are extra sensitive and of course, we have guys that are extra sensitive too and that's why I like being considerate, putting myself in other people's shoes and then based on how I've known the person, I can then see how the person might act.

There is no love without hate and you can't be in a relationship if you are worried about being hurt. Being in a relationship is also a risk because sometimes you don't know what you might get but I am happy because you can always choose your narrative by the kind of investment you make in that relationship and also by the amount of sacrifice you are willing to make and with who.

You can't be in a relationship and not get hurt. Your partner would hurt you whether deliberately (for some) or not deliberate, most times. If we know better we will do better and sometimes your partner genuinely didn't know and it doesn't mean they are being insensitive, it only means they just didn't know.

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You can fall in love with someone this minute and the next minute you are searching your heart to be sure if you still feel the same way especially after seeing some sides to them which you would never have known on the surface. We sometimes think we know everything about someone because of the sudden burst of emotions we feel. There would always be situations that would happen that would make you want to re-evaluate your position. There is a thin line indeed between love and hate so we have to be considerate.

There was this situation that came to mind and I can't help but laugh and also see that we are more sensitive than the other. My friend visited his girlfriend many years ago and decided to stay for a few extra days. He was free but the lady had to go to work and all. So, on this fateful day, my friend waited for her to come but traffic held her. She got home late and my friend was already feeling sleepy.

He attended to her and she complained of having a headache. He went to the kitchen, made noodles for her, boiled water for her to have her bathe. She was having her bathe when the noodles got ready. He served the noodles and he was on the bed, waiting for her to finish her bath when he slept off. She got back, ate the noodles, took her drugs and slept too.

She woke up the next day, angry that her boyfriend doesn't care as much as she would have liked because he slept off before she could get back. My friend was confused and told me. I couldn't help but laugh and I asked him what he did, he said he didn't do anything. She left for work after and that was the start of their crack which eventually led to their break up.

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Many people have broken up for something less and that's how a relationship can stress you and you see some unreasonable expectations as well as reasonable ones but you just have to get on with it and be convinced you are both meant for each other because that would make you go to any length for each other.

We all have expectations going into a relationship but we all make mistakes of thinking the other person should make us whole. You are not broken so you should strive to be better on your own and your partner is there to only help and guide you where necessary. We sometimes expect from our partners what we can't do for ourselves. In the story I shared above, the girl expected a guy that would do beyond the normal and this guy obviously expects someone that would appreciate little efforts and then forgive easily.

Before going into a relationship, we need to lay down our expectations for each other. We need to let them know what we expect and they should make us understand what they expect from us. Be honest with yourself and learn to let the person go when you know it's not something you can get through with. The issue is, most people choose their partner based on face value which makes it hard for them to let go when they should have and they end up losing the person to resentments.

Love can give you chaos sometimes and if you find the one for you, you can experience peace - not without its chaos but with more happy moments than bad patches. What's the point in being with someone that makes you walk on eggshells? You can know how deep your love is for someone, only in the moment of crisis but most people who claim they love, exit the stage just when the storm hits. When it comes to the matter of the heart, learn to do what's best for your heart and show consideration to one another.

Thank you for your time.

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2 years ago

Comments

In cherishing it isn't generally joy their is an aggravation to test the relationship.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Just as not all people on earth are the same, not all people on earth are the same. One person thinks differently, presents his love words in different ways. Just as not all people in the world are the same, not everyone is the same in this world. One person thinks differently, presents his love words in different ways. A person who tries to maintain a relationship and build a relationship in the same way that a relationship can happen

$ 0.02
2 years ago

That's so right...we are not the same so individual differences should be expected hence the stress...ability to adapt and understand this helps.

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2 years ago

No relationship means no stress. As bitter as it may sound, I support breakup since I experienced how stressful being in a relationship was. ~Manju

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Relationship is really stressful and I have to admit to that. Thanks for this, my friend.

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2 years ago

Very insightful. However whenever I see partners in a relationship break up for the flimsiest reason, i can't help but think that one of them is not longer interested or was using the other for some personal or selfish benefits. And now That he/she have gotten what they want,then they decided to call it off.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

I totally understand your point there... Most people are not sincere and stick to the tiniest of excuses to get out of it.

What's wrong? Your comment was muted. I guess someone muted you.

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2 years ago

Relationships are really stressful, most people won't know until they have gotten into one 😆. But that your friend's breakup story, I feel the issues has been accumulating for a while and the breakup isn't necessary because of him sleeping off, the girlfriend's heart isn't in the relationship anymore that's why any small issue will get her angry

$ 0.03
2 years ago

You hit the nail on the head. There were underlying issues and that was just a perfect excuse to jump the ship.

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2 years ago

In loving it is not always happiness their is a pain to test the relationship.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Every relationship with its unique test.

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2 years ago

Oh noh, your friend story is a bit funny, but I know it's also confusing on his side. Well girls are like that for sometimes, specially if we weren't feel okay, but somehow leading to it into break up won't happen to me, it's just a small amount of misunderstanding. If you really love the person you should widen up your understanding, patience,love and support. It's not all goes by you, the relationship must be between you and your partner, husband/wife,girl/boyfriend, be considerate too.

$ 0.05
2 years ago

Thank you so much. Exactly, when you are in a relationship, you have to widen your level of understanding, patience, love, support and even communication because it is no longer about you alone.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Relationship can really be draining. That's why I've no business with anything relationship for now. I don't even have the time

$ 0.02
2 years ago

It's good that you know yourself because it requires time and attention. Only get into it when you are ready.

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2 years ago

When you enter a relationship, expect both happiness and sadness. It is happy to be inlove with someone you love but there will always be pain. There is no perfect releationship. Love and be loved

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2 years ago

Love and be loved, indeed no relationship is perfect because it's a mixture of emotions.

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2 years ago

It's like saying that "You can test a woman's loyalty when a man had nothing and you can test a man's loyalty if he had everything". If you feel that his/her the right one for you don't leave that person.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

That's right...both of them lacked conviction which made it easy for them to leave each other.

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2 years ago

You are right when you saud that we need to lay down our expectations. That way, we could avoid conflicts and we can do what is expected of us.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Exactly...we need to lay down those expectations so as to know how best to forge ahead.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

All cards must be placed on the table before entering the relationship. We all had a life before that new relationship 😊

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Absolutely...we had a life before it and that's why we need to lay it all bare so we can understand and be understood.

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2 years ago

I guess communication is the key, aside from that maybe when love is not enough you can't understand your partner

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Communication is very important and how we communicate too.

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2 years ago

Wow you’ve really done a great job. My credit to you. At sometime relationship is really really stress. And I agree with all your points.

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2 years ago

Thank you so much, brother.

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2 years ago

The conviction matters the most in any relationship and that it why many relationship still remain even though there are troubles

$ 0.02
2 years ago

That's key... conviction. It would allow you hold on regardless...

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2 years ago

Yeah, people need to talk about what they want and how they like to be treated before being in a relationship

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Absolutely. It makes it easier for everyone.

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2 years ago

you have really spoken well, i think there should be more articles on how to handle stress in relationship to avoid difficulties and challenges in marriages

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2 years ago

Here is one... Thank you.

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2 years ago

Relationship is one of the experience that makes a man or a lady stronger because if you're in any relationship be ready to cry unless it's infatuation I could remember sometimes ago when I do check my girlfriend's WhatsApp messages hmmm I couldn't believe my eyes, after series of breakup I became stronger and decided in my mind who wants to stay should stay and who so ever wants to leave is free.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

🤣🤣🤣😂😂🤣 I can imagine. So sorry about that. Pain is part of love...

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2 years ago

There is proverb in my local area. There is love where is pain. You dig the pain and love will embrace you. Different people connected via love means different personalities collide. Definitely there will be misunderstanding and pain.

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2 years ago

Absolutely... different personalities which would need to be worked upon. Misunderstanding is bound to happen.

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2 years ago

Lol... Really funny stuff,,, but I guess you're right... They can be really stressful at times,,, but they are indeed also rewarding when they are right for you...

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2 years ago

Exactly my point.

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2 years ago

Only compromise can save the relationship. Even the wives of generals quarrel with their husbands. We are all not perfect, with our different personalities, let's just say "you even have to adapt to your partner."

$ 0.03
2 years ago

I always enjoy your valuable contributions. Absolutely, we have to adapt because we are all different with different exposures that has shaped us over the years.

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2 years ago

There's no doubt that misunderstanding would happen in a relationship,we just need to create trust in each other if we want the relationship to last longer.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Yes... Trust, communication and compromise would always help.

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2 years ago

When two people come together in a relationship, two cultures have been joined together and there is no doubt both won't have any argument because they can't fully understand each other until they give room for themselves to learn and study each other.

There would be chaos in relationship but with your patience and endurance, you will scale through.

Partners should learn to understand and appreciate each other no matter how little it is.

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2 years ago

KP has spoken so well... I am loving your wealth of experience 😂😂🤣🥰🥰😍

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2 years ago

🙈🙈

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2 years ago