No Right or Wrong Way to Grieve.

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2 years ago
Topics: Life, Music, Memories, Blogging, Nigeria, ...

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Have you ever lost someone that you see something that reminds you of them every time? Have you ever been so close to tears no matter how hard you try to stop it from coming as you see reminders of how things used to be? I believe most of us have lost one or two people that meant the world to us but life happened and we were left clutching to their memories alone.

There were days you can't help but remember them because you are scared that if you don't, their memories might slip away from you. The painful thing about losing someone is that you can never forget their face for the last time you saw them. It is an image that can never leave you and you would never want anything or anyone to distort that figure you are desperately holding on to.

We have all been dealt a huge blow in life with the ones we have lost, at least, most people, if not all. We always see life from a different perspective when we lose someone. Nothing else matters and things get more value and for some, nothing else makes sense anymore. Many have lost themselves because of the person they lost while for some, they found themselves with the passage of a loved one. There is no right or wrong way to deal with grief and we hurt differently and heal differently too.

Most people want you to heal as fast as you can because they did. What worked for you can't work for me and healing is a process that cannot be skipped else you risk a lot which would be deferred to the future. We need to allow people to heal the way they can because most people still cannot get over the initial shock of losing someone they love and they can't help but lash out at others.

I've said many times that a lot of people go through a lot but we might not know it. Someone right beside you might be completely broken but you won't have a hint because we don't know what most people are dealing with underneath. A lot of people have lashed out unprovoked with a simple question and you begin to wonder if they are okay upstairs. Of course, they are okay but they sometimes act on impulse without thinking straight.

Have you ever spoken to someone and they end up saying something completely different to the line of discussion and yet they get angry at you for no reason? We really need to be tender with people and ask questions, if they are willing to open up. Most people want someone they can at least trust, so we have to make ourselves trusted. Some people just need someone to hear them out, they don't even need your material possessions.

This song always makes me remember my dad and it's the first song I download on my phone every time I change my phone. It gets me teary-eyed and I can't help it. There is just something about the song, the rendition, the lyrics, the tune and the emotions that came with it. There is this passion, this message and of course, the sincerity in the delivery of that song and you would understand where the artist was coming from if you have ever lost anyone so close to you.

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Title of Song: "Dance With My Father"
Artist: Luther Vandross.
Video Link: https://youtu.be/wmDxJrggie8

For fear of using content that isn't mine, I can't share the lyrics with you but I would love you to listen to it to feel the emotions as deeply as the artist felt. That song keeps dad's memory fresh in my head and it wasn't because he loved that song when he was alive, no, it was because I could relate to the artist regarding this song. When dad was alive, he loved: "When A Man Loves A Woman" and also a few of Westlife's songs but none of them brings me closer to him than this Luther Vandross' song.

I have different songs for each of the family members I have lost and the one that draws me closer to my late sister is "Seasons In The Sun" by West Life

Title: "Seasons In The Sun"
Artist: West Life.
Video Link: https://youtu.be/Xdv83MFJd7U

This always makes me remember my sister that passed away as far back as 1998. As young as we were then, I was the only one who share a room with her, being the youngest. She was warm, kind, tender, sweet, charming, cute and of course, gentle and quiet. I still have her image in my head despite being so young and this song would ever remain fresh in my head.

The song that draws me closer to my late mum happens to be Puff Daddy's song which he dedicated to Aaliyah due to the plane crash she suffered.

Title of Song: "I'll Be Missing You"
Artist: Puff Daddy feat. Faith Evans and 112.
Video Link: https://youtu.be/NKMtZm2YuBE

And lastly, this song makes me remember all of them together, in a flash. You know, when you can't pick one memory out but you are overwhelmed with emotions at the same time? That's the feeling I get when I listen to this song dedicated to the Fast and Furious guy; Paul Walker.

Title of Song: "See You Again"
Artist: Wiz Khalifa feat. Charlie Puth.
Video Link: https://youtu.be/RgKAFK5djSk

Have you ever lost a loved one? What draws you closer to them? The smell of others that was like theirs? Someone's voice? Their favourite movie? A particular song? I would love to know. It's okay not to be okay... We are humans after all... We bleed emotions.

Thank you for your time.

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2 years ago
Topics: Life, Music, Memories, Blogging, Nigeria, ...

Comments

Songs are such powerful reminder, may it be to sad or to happy memories. I lost a lot of loved ones, humans and animals who will stay forever in my heart. Each one of them was unique. One of the greatest remind me songs I remember is "Another Day in Paradise" it was a very special and very sad moment, wich forever is connected with this song. came over @dreemport

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2 years ago

I know that song, Phil Collins. Lovely song as well. That's true, they will forever stay with us. Thanks a lot and I am glad to have you here.

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2 years ago

I am sorry for your losses. We have all at one time or another lost someone or several important people. I lost my father almost 20 years ago and he was one of the most important people in my life. And not a day goes by that I don't remember something about him that makes me smile and miss him.

Came here via Dreemport

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2 years ago

That's so true...we would always have reminders of them regardless of how many years has gone by. So sorry about your dad too. Our loved ones stays forever in our hearts.

I'm happy to have you here.

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2 years ago

Reading this just made me so emotional, remembered when I lost my uncle I was leaving with, he had only two kids that are grown up who lost their mom at a tender age, the way they cried that day, I couldn't hold my tears, he was a good man and was a father figure to me too... I really miss him now. The good things he does for us, he has always been there for us

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2 years ago

It's always hard to take. No one can ever predict how they'd act in moments of grief.

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2 years ago

I'm also sorry for all your lost, I don't know if saying sorry would comfort you, but I wish you happiness🙁😫

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2 years ago

Thank you, brother. Deeply appreciated.

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2 years ago

Dude, this is the second post I read tonight that reminds me that my father is no longer with us, (I don't know if it's a sign) this was the first post https://read.cash/@Jelena/in-the-nest-34fb5da6 and as I commented in that publication: https://read.cash/@Jelena/in-the-nest-34fb5da6#comment-702f5c44 I lost my father 4 months ago and it has not been easy to face that reality, I dream of him almost every day, visiting his house reminds me of him and it is impossible for me to enter his room, we had almost the same tastes and we shared our favorite dishes, so now eating them reminds me of my father and not I can't help but cry, I've stopped eating a lot of them. It also happens to me with movies since we were fans of action movies and we would meet to watch them together. I can no longer see them without crying, in short, my life without him is no longer the same, I know that I have to overcome it and get ahead for my children and my mother who need me, but it has not been easy, thanks for sharing this wonderful article friend God bless you, greetings.

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2 years ago

I am deeply sorry for your loss. It's never easy and I can relate to what you said. When I visit my dad's room then too, I feel my head rising and goosebumps all over me. It's never easy and like you said, we have to keep moving ahead for the sake of those who need us.

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2 years ago

I also can relate. It is very difficult. When we lose someone we loved so much, life changes in a second. We stay standing still and try hard to go back but we are expected to go forward.

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2 years ago

Absolutely, life stands still and a lot changes.

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2 years ago

You're right my friend,this really get me emotional,I lost some people I really love,and just three days ago I lost a grandpa,not really related but he's like a grandpa to me. The person I missed most is my uncle, he's a baker and a good one, most times I sit and think about him, because he is the nicest human being that ever understand me,he will bake bread and bring it to our house in his bike,his bread is always hot and delicious. I'll stop here before I get too emotional

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2 years ago

I am deeply sorry about that. It's not an easy thing to lose someone who matter. Keep being strong, please.

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2 years ago

Same here friend. We just have to let go of some things in our mind,we can't allow what happened to others in the past affect our own present. Happy new week...

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2 years ago

Happy new week to you too. ❣️

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2 years ago

Music really makes us remember either someone we love or memories from the past. So my mood would vary depends on the song I am listening. The only person I lost as of now that was so close with my heart was my bestfriend. We are too close to point people thought we are in a relationshio. He was a soldier and it really hurts to the point I didnt attend his burial. I only visited his grave after 5 years. I remember him everytime I heard the song " "warrior is the child"

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2 years ago

I am so sorry dear and that must be painful. The deep connection your forged can never be erased. I would have to listen to that song too.

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2 years ago

😥😥 This make me to remember my lovely mum. How can I survive without her but thanks to God who is been there for I and my Siblings. It was a painful exit and a day has never pass without me thinking about her warm affection.

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2 years ago

I am so sorry about that. Keep being strong. It's one of those things. Her memory can never fade.

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2 years ago

Reading this made me busted in tears I remembered my grandmother and my friends who died last year it really a hurt pain to bear . May their souls rest in perfect peace 🙏🙏🙏

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2 years ago

It's always painful and never easy to bear. Keep her close in your memory.

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2 years ago

"See you again" still remains a legendary song and whenever I listen to it, I remember friends and relatives I have lost over the years. You have lost some really close family members and I can't imagine the pain you feel everytime you remember them, but it's a great thing that you still have them in memory. May their souls continue to rest in perfect peace

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2 years ago

Thank you so much, brother. Yes, that song is amazing.

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2 years ago

So sorry for your loses. I pray the souls of your dearly departed ones continue to rest and serve as as source unlimited inspiration and faith as you continue to aspire for greater heights in life.... I remember her by taking a long look at her picture almost every night before I go to bed . And just as you said, thinking about them regularly tends to bring back those beautifu memories that ought to be with you forever.

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2 years ago

Thank you so much dear. Deeply appreciated. Yes, we always remember our time with them in our alone moments.

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2 years ago

You are already doing great. I'm very sure you'd make them very proud 😁

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2 years ago

Thank you.

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2 years ago

Losing someone you dearly love is the hardest. I don't know how can I handle the situation and start moving on. And you're right, no one can tell you to stop thinking about it and just move forward. Because we have different types and spans of healing processes. We might have moved on from them but the memories will stay forever and will never be erased.

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2 years ago

Yes, their memories stay with us. We can't escape it. We would always see things that reminds us of them.

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2 years ago

There are people in our lives that no matter how much we try to forget them and try to move on, they will always be there; in the rain, in the sunshine, in our hearts. It doesn't matter if they are gone, they live forever in us. It is very painful that we have to go on with our lives without these people, but then we have no thee option, at least let's be thankful for the memories they left us.

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2 years ago

That's right. We have no option but we can be thankful for the opportunity of having them when we did.

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2 years ago

All the songs hits different when you are yearning for someone, we humans have different ways how we grieve and mourn for someone, and it should be respected by everyone because we are not all in the same page, we just need to find a way that can make us solely be able to find peace and acceptance again.

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2 years ago

Peace and acceptance... This is beautiful. Thanks for that.

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2 years ago

Healing? We can make it in different way.

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2 years ago

We heal differently.

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2 years ago

I'm also editing mine but not yet published and its about my father also. What you wrote really describes me a bit, as I've told that I have no siblings either how life may you think I have, well it doesn't matter I'm happy now but its true from what you said we can't be that happy one if we regret the memories that we've been together in that person. Maybe we loose them but after those tears will always be smile. I loved reading it

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2 years ago

Thank you and I can't wait to read yours too.

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2 years ago

I already publish it I hope you can visit If you had time. Thank you

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2 years ago

Alright. I will. Thanks.

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2 years ago

I lost my uncle 3 years ago, he was a sweet, loving, gentle soul, he had the kindest of heart and my soul crashed when I heard of his demise, I'm someone who hardly feel especially when it comes to pain but I felt his so deeply I cried very hard, I still have those traitorous tears on my face most times my heart remembers him. Have lost other close relatives but his death really touched me, maybe because he was truly a family to me, even when we were apart for so many years before his death, I still cared ,even after his death. He left his wife and children and I pray, so help me God that I do right by them.

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2 years ago

I can imagine... The pain hits differently because there is something about them. I pray God helps those he left behind.

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2 years ago

Yes, the pain hits differently!.. Amen as I pray too.

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2 years ago

🤗

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2 years ago

This was just so beautiful and respectful of everyone's grief. You're correct, we're each individual and we each heal differently and we can't expect everything that worked for us to work for someone else and we have to respect that. I lost my dad suddenly when I was just coming of age, and when he passed, I felt like a ship without mooring. I was just so lost. That's a very long time ago now and that wound still has not healed. Of course, I have learned to live with it, but it's still there so that if I reach for him, I feel an emptiness in the space he used to occupy. For me, your Luther Vandross selection is perfect. Thanks for this.

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2 years ago

It would always be there...that pain...that grief... We just have to keep living regardless.

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2 years ago

Incredible text full of truth! I usually say that not all of us have the same way of transforming pain into something worthwhile

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2 years ago

You nailed it and that's the truth.

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2 years ago