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It has been 21 days now since my mother in law passed away and I am not joking, it still feels unreal. I have always known her to be full of energy and expending herself for others and I still find it shocking that she is gone, just like that. She is an example of a good mother.
I lost my mother in 2009 just after I finished my service year and it hurts so much to watch her leave while I was helpless to do anything about it. I was closer to my dad more when he was alive but when dad passed away, the connection between my late mum and I was instant and I felt that's life's way of telling me I have a second chance to do it all over again. It wasn't because she was a bad mother, never, in fact, she was one of the most selfless mothers you can ever find on earth. It was nothing against her to be close to dad more than her, it's just how it happened and with dad's passing, it opened up another opportunity for me to get closer to her.
I can remember when she left the earth, her words of advice and encouragement ring in my ears even to date. She told me how proud she was anytime I lead the house fellowship because I always explain in detail and she has heard that everyone prefers it when I lead it. It was hard to see her struggle for breath and I couldn't do anything about it just at the end of my fellowship that day. If tears could bring people back, she would have been here again right now.
So, losing my mother in law that I have come to accept as my mother was another shocker for me because this was life's way of making me have another present mother figure in my life. She was an encourager, a lover, a prayer warrior and she was huge on sacrifice. She had insight ain't situations as she would give you a different angle to things. She was all for peace and she died unwavering on that path. She was the best mother in law you could ever wish for and I enjoyed all her support.
It was hard not having her around and to think she still asked me in August that she wanted to get a passport and would want to know where I did mine because she was getting herself ready to visit her son who got married that same August. My brother in law and his newly wedded wife travelled to the UK and she was already making plans to visit them after some months. She even withdrew most of her savings which she got as pension to assist them and that was the kind of selfless life she lived - a life worth living.
Writing about her keeps her alive in my heart and even talking about her is as though she never left even though for the sake of English I had to refer to her in past tense and it's still very strange though.
Her first son just left Nigeria with his family just a few days ago too, also to the UK and she was instrumental too in the whole process and the money involved to assist them the little way she can. This is why I said she had foresight because she expended herself and used all her money for her children so they can at least get that head start in life. It's hard to take in that she just passed away like that and in that fashion. I wish it was different but then I had no power to change anything of such. It's God's department and I respect His decisions.
Here are some of the pictures I recently got from the Burial:
Most people came not to mourn but to celebrate her life and that was encouraging. The testimonies of lives she touched as evident by those who trooped out to speak glowingly about her wasn't surprising because that was the life she lived and it was evident to all.
Short Poem For My Mother In Law:
You are gone from amongst us but you left a vacuum
Vacuum that can never be filled because you were different
Different in every way and by every standard
Standard that you have set so high as it seems unattainable
Unattainable achievement is a phrase used not for everyone but special people
People who lived their lives serving others without expecting anything in return
Return to us, mama, I would love to wake up from this bad dream
Dream of your demise which shattered our hearts
Hearts that you have touched with your selfless acts of kindness
Kindness for all and sundry - deserving and undeserving
Undeserving to us but to you, it's deserving because you never hold a grudge
We love you mama and your clothes are still lying around my apartment
Amazing people like you don't die because they leave trails of themselves everywhere by the virtue of the lives that they have touched by impacts and good works. You didn't die so we won't weep. How can you die when you are still in our hearts? You left the earth still in service of love which is why you can never be forgotten. September 26th would forever remain in our hearts.
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