It's the human thing to do that we beat ourselves up so much after failed attempts. It's okay to feel down when things didn't go the way we wanted. We live in a world where others highlight our mistakes more than our achievements so that's why it's easier for most people to quickly amplify their problems and failings so it wouldn't hurt as much when others "drag" them.
Have you watched the movie, "8 Miles" which Eminem featured in? That was exactly how he won the battle of words with the Street Fight when he already highlighted all his issues which left his opponent with nothing to abuse him with. We sometimes unconsciously do that too because we want a soft landing.
It's okay to push yourself to reach certain heights and sometimes it goes our way and oftentimes it won't. We need to stop seeing failure as "I am not good enough" and change our mentality to seeing failure as "Now, I know another way not to do it". Life won't always go the way we want and that's the truth.
I've asked many girls out and they turned me down for whatever reasons best known to them and that's fine. There would be ladies that would turn you down and there would be others that would give anything just to be with you and that's just life. Now, there would be things that would go your way and oftentimes there would be others that won't go your way. Beating yourself up about it won't make you see other things that have been screaming for your attention. Sometimes, failure makes us see what we shouldn't be doing and what we should be doing, depending on the situation.
I have seen people who failed at something and kept at it till they reached their desired goals and I have seen those who failed and changed direction because they knew that wasn't meant for them and they channelled their energy into something better and they hit the ground running. It's okay to admit to your weakness and admitting to it is not a sign of weakness but strength because you would know what should be getting your attention and what shouldn't.
It's natural for us to count our costs and even our losses but learn not to beat yourself too much on what didn't work. Let it drive you to be objective on what you truly want. See it like a speed bump that wasn't designed to stop you permanently but temporarily. Take each defeat and the lessons that come with it one at a time. Stop keeping your life on hold and beating yourself up over things you have no control over. Save your energy for the things you still have control over.
Beating yourself up won't change anything anyway except you take steps towards overturning what went wrong. Holding back won't hold back your struggles but only actions can truly count. I know we love fixing what's not broken and that's human nature because we like to see problems in things. We stay fixated on the problem that we forget that we are to seek a way out. Someone said, "If you are the one seeing the problem others can't see, then it's a call for you to be the one to fix it, either directly or indirectly."
You are not a failure and you are not as broken as you think. Even a dead clock is right about twice a day, so all hope is not lost on you but it depends on what you are going to do about it. Back in the day when I used to listen to rap songs and this particular song got me and I think it was a song by Obie Trice when he said "What are you going to do when sh*t hits the fan? Are you going to stand and fight like a man? Would you be as hard as you said you are or you are going to run and get your bodyguards?" What we say and do when defeat stares at us in the face matters a lot.
Failing is a sign that you are human after all because life has its way of calling us back to order and then humbling us. When we seem to be going in a particular direction life has its way of reminding us to slow down or give us redirection. I always tell people to make sure they push themselves and not live based on past achievements because there are new things to be achieved and in the same breath I would always tell others to not allow defeat to hold them back. Is there someone who hasn't failed at something before? Anyone?
Don't allow anything to break your spirit because the moment your spirit is crushed, there is little that others can do to inspire you. No one can help you but yourself and that's the truth. Never allow anything or anyone to break your spirit because that's who you are and you don't have to be a secondary character in your life's story, you have to take charge.
How do you receive your answers if you are not broken sometimes? We tend to receive the answers we seek even in our broken stage and only then can we see clearly as well and not be blinded by the euphoria of the achievements we have. You are not terrible you just need to change your view of things.
We can't skip the process in life because for most people failing is the process they have to go through so they can understand fully the quality of their dreams. Every stage in life is a learning curve, even the failures we encounter along the way. A lot of people have failed and lost the courage to get back up which allowed them to lose their focus, self-esteem and hunger. So many dreams have been terminated because some people decided they have had enough and the world has been robbed of the beauty they could have brought.
The things we go through should make us better. It's not easy but nothing in life is ever easy. See failure as one of life's processes you have to pass through before attaining your desired goal.
Thank you for your time.
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This was needed because I was feeling a bit down recently.