Today, I Felt Like A Wellspring of Emotions

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2 years ago
Topics: Emotions, Future, Plans, Personal, Blog, ...

While walking to the office this morning, I felt emotionally down and worried. I was thinking of many things: my responsibilities for my family, my career plans for the future, saving up for the wedding, the house my girlfriend and I are paying up, and other stuff. These things I rarely think about when I was younger, but now these things overwhelm me. 

As soon as I reached my table, I grabbed my pen and journal and begun writing down my thoughts: for emotional release, as a form of prayer, and so I'd remember how this particular day went. It was a rollercoaster of emotions as I jot down my heart's content.

Photo Credits: Unsplash.com

I realized as I reviewed what I wrote, that I am filled with envy and resentment. I resent that I am not as gifted and privileged as others. I resent that I have missed some opportunities in life in choosing things I thought would be a better option. I envy some people around me. Self-pity is slowly creeping in me. I felt devastated. If I can only afford to break down, I'd do so. The thing is, I'm already in the office and work comes before breakdown.

“There are no quick fixes. But, by taking action just a little bit every day, you will build up a powerful reservoir of confidence, self-esteem, and discipline.” - Scott Allan

But later this afternoon I decided not to be defined by my negative emotion. It's good to acknowledge that I have things to improve on myself and my current situation, and what I felt early this morning is an indicator that I need not settle - I have to challenge myself. Acknowledging my incapacities and my weaknesses is one thing, but to ruin how I view life is another. I am more than the problems and struggles I have as of the moment. 

So rather than sulk for what I don't have, I took an inventory of what I have. My mental checklist included: a non-toxic, flexible job and working environment; a supportive and encouraging church community; I have a blogsite I can maximize for potential earnings; I have friends who are willing to teach me soft skills like copywriting and editing; I have an ongoing project with an established publishing house; I have a couple of extra hours to do some side gigs or take few online courses; and a couple of other things and opportunities. At times, I measure blessings at their face value. As an accountant, I look at things through their monetary amount. But some things cannot be quantified. Some don't have price tags on them. What they have is the potential to make things work for me if only I widen my perspective.

There are no quick fixes nor shortcuts to success. If things can be fixed quickly, the quality may be compromised. Great things are achieved little by little, with hard work and perseverance. If things overwhelm you, it's not because you are small - but because you are aiming for something bigger than yourself. We don't aim for mediocrity. We aim for great and mighty things! 

If we can dream it, by faith, we can achieve it. 


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Hi, I am Marts! Aside from read.cash, I also run my blog - martsvalenzuela.com. I plan on growing my readership while learning to improve my craft and journey towards my passion to write and publish books that add value to people.

Carpe Diem!

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Comments

Boss, super feel :( Like I think I'm at the lowest season of my life right now and I wish I had the mental capacity to get out of it too... Things are overwhelming and I feel like nothing is moving :(

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2 years ago

huhu we'll get through this, sunshine! hope things will get better very soon so we can finally rest our weary hearts and minds.

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2 years ago

Aigoo.. So ikakasal kna? Grats in advance. Dami tlga iisipin lalo na ikaw ang lalaki.. Kya ayoko mag asawa, dami problimahin 🤣

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2 years ago

Hahaha soon! Hoping next year, when all things go well :) Kaya nga, medyo challenging talaga ang season na to hehe

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2 years ago

Grabe sir! Nakakatakot talaga maging adult. Haha ang dami iisipin. Pero kayang kaya mo yan!

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2 years ago

Hahaha! Saya sana mag-color color na lang ulit no. :p Kaya natin to!

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2 years ago