The Aftermath of The Momster ME : GUILT

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Avatar for Khing14
Written by
2 years ago
In community: Parenting(c55d)
Topics: Motherhood, Parenting

Time check! 1:04 AM..It's Saturday already! Fourth day of December, 2021. I can't sleep yet so I took my phone and started typing some words and this topic suddenly sparked!

Admittedly, I have a very short temper when it comes to my kids. I believe stress and lack of sleep is the major factor. But I don't have a choice. It's like at the moment, I am trapped on those situation.

Working from home while taking care of my three kids is really exhausting sometimes. I don't have anyone to talk to aside from my husband of what I currently feel or about what I am going through.

There were times that my husband is listening willingly to my rants about our set-up and about my stress level. But there are also times that he is opposing all of it!. And during those times that my husband couldn't understand me and don't want to listen to me anymore, I really felt so alone. I don't have someone to talk to, I don't have someone to release what I really felt inside. Despite all those hardships, I still need to compose myself whenever I face my work. And that brings additional pressure to me whenever I am into that situation.

Main factor that triggers my Momster side:

There are lots of times that I am in a call when suddenly my eldest son and daughter do some commotions. They often fight. They fight over our television's remote control, they fight about the food, they fight about everything!.. and so as my youngest son. Both my son sometimes or I think I would rather say often times have quarrel with my only daughter...I am not sure why as well.

Most of the times, those commotions between my kids triggers my Momster to come out. I don't like it to be honest!. I cannot even imagine the aftermath guilt that I am feeling inside. I don't like to yell at them, I don't like to screw them, I don't like to spank them. But, I just can't help it!.. I am a very short tempered mom!.

One time I overheard from my son's online class, his teacher asked them:

"Who amongst you have feelings that you are not the favorite of your mom and dad?".

Guess what? My eldest son raised his hand..So his teacher asked him, why do you think you are not favorite?

And then my son answered "Kasi po palagi ako ang inuutusan saka ang unang pinapagalitan"..

I felt so guilty when I heard that. I know it's not his fault being the eldest, but he is the one who should adjust against his siblings because he is more mature than them. He knows what is right and what is wrong already.

After their lesson, I tried to explain to him the reason why do we always ask him to fix their bed, wash the dishes and mop the floor. Why not his youngest brother or his younger sister?...

We tried to explain the reason why we wanted him to learn the basic house chores. So that when he grows up, whenever he goes, whether we (his parents) are around or not, atleast he knows what to do and how to deal with the situation is

We also tried to explain that being the eldest, it is his main responsibility help us to take care of our house. It is his main responsibility to help us take care of his siblings when we are busy with house chores. And that eventually, when his sister and his youngest brother came to the right age, we will also teach whatever we taught him to both of them.

In fact, we already started it with his younger sister (currently 7 years of age)

Every after meal, we ask my eldest son to wash the dishes and then at the same time, we also ask our daughter to sweep the floor so that my eldest son wouldn't feel that we are unfair to him.

I know some of you is already judging my parenting style or technique now.

I know that it is not right to always yell at my kids. Like I said, I knew it, but I just can't help it most of the time because my patience is very short!.

But I am trying!..I am trying to be calm at all times.

Sometimes, I manage to remain calm but there are times that I just can't control it and it just suddenly burst to my kids.

And I felt so sorry about it. The aftermath of allowing the momster me to come out is always the GUILT inside of me.

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Avatar for Khing14
Written by
2 years ago
In community: Parenting(c55d)
Topics: Motherhood, Parenting

Comments

I believe na iba iba po talaga ng parenting ways yung mga parents po. Hindi madali maging isang parent , kaya don't mind other people's opinion po. You know your children and yourself better. Do what you think is the best for your kids po

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User's avatar Sequoia
2 years ago

Thank you sis..alam mo naman, merong mga judger pa din..hehehe

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User's avatar Khing14
2 years ago

Ako jud tita dile pajud ko ka relate ani no pero as an adult naajud pd koy nabantayan. It is okay na pagalitan, dile patumanan and sometimes pugngan sila sa ilang gusto no kay basin ma spoiled sila and they will gain no respect from the parents because they feel like what i want will be given. Hahhaha maong naay uban bata saupan kayko oi, pero kay love manlagi hahahah bsan ni ugbo na ang kaspa ug muhilak si baby hahahah pangitaan nasad paagi arun muhunong. Pero maaju jud na kasaban hahah bsan makaingon silag dile love in the future they will understand naman.

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User's avatar Lovelyfaith
2 years ago

Yes sis..it's for their own good din naman..

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User's avatar Khing14
2 years ago

Mao lgi

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User's avatar Lovelyfaith
2 years ago

Parenting is a very difficult task and I believe parents know what's good for their children. No parent wants to tolerate bad behaviors among children so it's just normal to discipline them. There might be differences in handling the child, the important thing here is that the child will grow responsible and very much respectful.

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User's avatar Fyangzee24
2 years ago

Indeed..we as parents wants them all the best..

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User's avatar Khing14
2 years ago

Each child should be responsible not the eldest only. If you let the eldest do your job you should reward him for that too. If you treat him different reward him different. He deserves that. We discipline dogs not children.

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User's avatar wakeupkitty
2 years ago

Respetoay rajod mamsh sa atong pamaagi sa pagdesiplina kay lain2 man ta. Waman joy perfect na parenting

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User's avatar Marinov
2 years ago

Yeah... correct ka sis...

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User's avatar Khing14
2 years ago

though nakaka awa naman talaga yung bata kapag feel niya na palagi nalang siya, pero mas okay na yun na sa murang edad pa lang may alam na sa gawaing bahay at may diseplina. Later on maiintindihan rin naman nila lahat yon

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User's avatar Jinifer
2 years ago

Korek sis..pagtanda nya marerealize din siguro nya kung bakit..

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User's avatar Khing14
2 years ago

I feel you mommy. Stress everyday huhu

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User's avatar Yen
2 years ago

Sabi mo pa sis...

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User's avatar Khing14
2 years ago

eto dn ung isa sa aabangan ko kapag lumaki na si bb ko. hindi ko tuloy maimagine kung anong pangaral gagawin ko sa anak ko kung sakali. hahha

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User's avatar Micontingsabit
2 years ago

Naku sis goodluck..hehehe..ang hirap talaga magsaway din minsan

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User's avatar Khing14
2 years ago

Sana di sya mana saken na makulit at matigas ulo nung bata pa hahahaha

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User's avatar Micontingsabit
2 years ago

Ahaha..ganern..

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User's avatar Khing14
2 years ago

Confirm, parenting is really not for me. I mean, di ko tu keri sasabog ako if ever baka makapanakit ako ng bata aguy naman. Momster level 10001 ang labas ko if ever may usok usok pa sa ilong.

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User's avatar Ruffa
2 years ago

Ou sis .kailangan talaga mahaba ang pasensya..kaso wala ako nun..

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User's avatar Khing14
2 years ago

I can relate. I sometimes yell at my son, he is 22 months old now. But I make sure I always hug him and make him kiliti after just to make him smile. He throws tantrum Lang if di makapanood ng fave cartoon sa YouTube.

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User's avatar itravelRox
2 years ago

Relate with my youngest son..he throws a lot of tantrums actually.. he cries when he cannot get what he wants

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User's avatar Khing14
2 years ago

lisod am-amon oi. haha

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User's avatar itravelRox
2 years ago

Even me being just tita feel the same to you sis. Lalo na pag iiwan Ang mga Bata sa bahay. Sometimes being the tita Kasi mas nacocontrol ko sila at mas nakikinig sila sakin Kasi takot sila sakin kaya sila ate minsan nagpapatulong. Pagpinapagalitan ko sila naguigilty ako pagkatapos.. minsan nagsosorry nalng ako at eniexplain sa kanila kung bakit ako nagalit at Sana maintindihan nila at Hindi na Gawin ulit Ang ikinagagalit ko. Ang hirap na pakiusapan Ng mga Bata ngayun sis ibang iba na sa generation natin nuon.

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User's avatar ThisisGrace21
2 years ago

Wow..sana all may kalatid na pwede sumaklolo..hehe..

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User's avatar Khing14
2 years ago

Akala siguro yung kids natin di natin sila mahal kasi pinapagalitan sila pero hindi nila alam para naman sa kanila para maging marunong sa gawaing bahay din.

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User's avatar uelsy_daile
2 years ago

Feeling ko nga ganun ang naiisip nung panganay ko sis..grade 6 na sya ..lumalaki na kaya need na nya matuto

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User's avatar Khing14
2 years ago

Kailangan yan sis, sa akin maliit pa kasi 3 years old pa lang pero balang araw ganyan din gagawin ko.

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User's avatar uelsy_daile
2 years ago

Korek sis..ayaw ko din lumaki na walang alam sa gawaing bahay

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User's avatar Khing14
2 years ago

Each child should do tasks, house chorus. You can not let the eldest do everything because he's more mature. You are the mature one and being tired is no excuse. You took those children they are your responsibility just like all the work they give you. Sounds like me you let the eldest do your job. You could reward him for that! If he is more mature he should have more rights too! Ask for his opinion, reward him with money or extra treats and let him decide after a certain hour what to watch on television. I understand why your eldest feels he is not liked by you and he's right. You do find it normal he does your job and you let the others have the fun because they are too little. When will you stop saying this? My 2 year old son carries the laundry, helps cleaning, lifts heavy bags and is proud if I compliment him. Make a schedule of who does what. Reward those who do a good job and make a time table for the telly. It's not difficult and it saves you fights between your children.

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User's avatar wakeupkitty
2 years ago

This is a great idea!..I will try to reward them everytime they do house chores then..Until they get used of doing it without being asked

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User's avatar Khing14
2 years ago

That's the idea. You have to make a habit out it. Compliments help but you can also make a schedule and draw a sun or smiley behind the tasks done. Ten smileys stand for a reward: tv, quality time, a treat, going out or...

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User's avatar wakeupkitty
2 years ago

Got it!..thank you

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User's avatar Khing14
2 years ago
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