It kills me

13 31
Date: June 04, 2022
Author: JustMaryel

I don't have a topic as my brain is overloaded with something and my head spins again unstopped, maybe because of radiation. That is why I really need to rest my eyes for a while. I don't want to abuse it again and again. Thanks kuya @ARTicLEE for saving my Saturday with your article.


What would I truly regret not doing if I died tonight?

Giving myself a peace of mind and what I truly deserve. I will not go deeper but lately something really bothers me which I constantly question myself and put doubts on. Overthinking a lot is not good but I can't control it and I even thought I died days ago because of some reason. I thank God that he didn't take my breath.If I died I wanted it in a peaceful and painless way.

What advice has someone in my family given and that I have taken just in time?

Mama's advice is to give when I have something to give. Her generosity influenced me and I witnessed it several times. When someone is in need and she can lend something she always gives and when someone can't pay because of circumstances she understands and says " I know the feeling of nothing". I always take this advice because the more we give, the more God will bless us.

What would I do if my biggest fear came true?

I'm very vocal about how afraid I would be if I lost Mama, even though it is a reality. When the time comes my biggest fear will come true. It will be the time of my devastation but I can't do something about it because it is part of human life but I wish for more years for Mama so I can spoil her like she did to us. When times come, I can't accept it right away but slowly I need to accept and be independent of my own.

Have I done something recently that I could be proud of?

Giving myself an award and for surviving those days I think I couldn't make it. I am proud of myself for fighting those battles of life that no one knows how hard to survive. I was at my end point but I chose to crawl and push myself harder to survive because no one can get me out there but myself alone. I need to be stronger than I could, which I am proud of.

What would I do with my remaining days, if I only had a year left to live?

I'll do whatever I can, including travel, family bonding and give myself the best as I can. Each day my goal is to put a smile on my face together with my loved ones so that they cherish the memories we build together.

Why am I afraid of being true to myself when others are around?

Afraid to be judged by them that is why I set boundaries and limit myself doing things as part of my introvert personality. I'm hesitant showing myself when people are not so close with me but when we are close enough and I am comfortable then I will show myself genuinely.

What do I really want from life?

Simply live a simple life where peace and love unite us. I don't need an extravagant life. All I need is a responsible and faithful husband and children whom I can call mine.

What aspect of my personality still needs improvement?

Appreciate myself, cheering myself, trusting myself, nurturing myself and loving myself. I gave what others wanted but I couldn't give it to myself. So, this time I need myself.


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Lead image is mine edited in Canva.

JustMaryel sending you Loveā¤

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Comments

Maybe I will regret that I didn't had a chance to leave my parents with a comfortable life. Yun ang pagsisisihan ko kapag mamamatay na ako. Yung hindi ko nai-provide yung deserve nilang buhay before I die.

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1 year ago

Ang sakit lang makita na wala tayong nagawa sa status sa buhay na mapaangat.

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1 year ago

If maybe our age could be guessed for the last day of life on earth maybe I would do all good to everyone and no longer seek worldly life because time can no longer be held back.

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1 year ago

Be good and do good so people will remember us in good way.

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1 year ago

Murag peace of mind ang wala nako Karon ayy permi diay kay grabe ang financial problem jud ye ayy

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1 year ago

Laban lang jud ta makaya raning tananšŸ˜Š

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1 year ago

Awiehhh surviving this life is really hard but you made jt mare. Tuloy mo lang yan. Basta if need nang rest then give it to yourself okke.

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1 year ago

Pwede magpahinga pero bawal ang sumuko kasi talo ang sumusuko.

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1 year ago

Be positive and your life would be so calm and happy. Stay positive I think is blessing. Don't focus on fear try to overcome your big fear. Dreams can come true with fear. Be fearless make good decisions, take risks and enjoy each moment of your life.

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1 year ago

Thank you for you words that really enlight me.

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1 year ago

You are very welcome mate.

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1 year ago

I was at my end point but I chose to crawl and push myself harder to survive because no one can get me out there but myself alone.

And that is admirable. We all have our own battles but to know that you are doing what it takes to go on, that is appreciable. May you have be given more strength to overcome. God is good!

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1 year ago

Yung tipong alam ko gagawin ko kaso hindi magfunction katawan. It seems impossible pero kinakaya dahil nadin sa tulong ng read.cash kay malalaman ko na may mas pa pala at kinaya nila.

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1 year ago