@Jento

Flowers... Recalling the article complaining about writing things like “flowers blooming and …”, I can’t help but commit another crime. Again! Sorry! ***Appreciation*** In the little garden, I spent most of my wee time, the flowers are blooming. Surprisingly one day, a butterfly visits us by. The other day, I find a dragon fly that visited. And there is an instance that my boy complained about a bug that hovered inside the living room and told him to watch out for that. The flowers are blooming, showing their appreciation of kissing the sun all day long. Together with few rains that visited recently, they are really happy. They are located on the roof deck as the apartment had one. Although there are some who were not very happy because they had sun burn, -burning their delicate leaves… My interest in flowers is not only the beauty it exude, it is how it conveys the promise of life in every way. Aside from the fact that I am a natural green thumb... I am fascinated for a lot of reasons like, it nourishes itself then produces flower and the flower dies. Then another one comes out, it dies again and another one popping out. Its fascinating to see the beauty as it fades and another one comes and dies. Amazing because I get to watch the process every time and although there is waiting time, but the joy of seeing another flower blooming is such joy that simply cannot be missed. Now, somebody asked “why the ornamentals”. Why not focus on vegetables or fruit, why ornamentals? Well… I didn't answer her but she terribly failed to know that flowers too are edible... ??? yes! And not just the flowers of the vegetables, but also the ornamentals - the decorative plants.  ***Benefits*** Flowers are simple but delicate. Thinking of the benefits I reap from sowing them, amongst are what I can think of: Aroma. We'll we already know this one, so let me skip, aroma therapy for stress relieving baths and the likes. For ambience, guess its lucrative but... its really nice! So if you have a garden, it wouldn't hurt to have a bunch everyday. Tea. Oh! this one I know is marigold. I learned in one of the groups I joined in FB that they're buying the flowers to be dried to be the main ingredient for making their tea. So... Repellent. Marigold, another one of its magnificence is that the odor it releases helps in repelling mosquitoes. This is especially helpful for us living in the tropics where mosquitoes abounds together with the citruses, mint, lemon grass and many more - for a possible dengue outbreak which we recently have. Edible, can be eaten. Aside from the squash flower as an ingredient for local stew, roses, some orchids, marigold, chive flowers, and many more to mention. Medicine. Hmmm, its said that gumamela flowers: as flavanoids and proanthocyanidins are antioxidants, antipyretic, analgesic, and spasmolytic https://drfarrahmd.com/2021/07/gumamela-hibiscus-as-alternative/ Well, this is just what I can think of right now aside from the fact that they invite insects, birds, bugs and the likes, keeping they cycle alive... will be adding a list later on, on another article. Purpose? Oh! I just round it up with the list... Moreover, I love seeing all the natural colors that blends in and that, I really can't imagine a life without them in the city where everything seemed cemented and only the looks of the building abounds?! Every wall rebounds the stress you feel all day long... This is something you can sit by and share something with a living thing. Until next time, thank u for the read! May 27,2022 Image: mine and pinterest

Pandemic, the changes it caused to our lives… This week, the weather is either too hot or too cold. In the morning, if its not raining, the sun is just too hot that any moment you will get drained and dehydrated and much worst, heat stroke. While in the evening, it is was so hot in the morning and suddenly rains, oh no! Pandemic is all too long to feel like we are living in a cage, whereby we are forced to stay at home without not much to do! Although, staying at home is a bit too much for many… Many of us already suffer unnecessary depression & loneliness because of the isolation, but we need to hold on more and find ourselves healthy ways to keep it together. Exploring other possibilities, exploring the unexplored world of carpentry where you can exhaust all the excess time and energy doing a project or two. Learning few trick for daily life, cooking, gardening and many indoor activities like painting, sculpting, engraving, writing, reading and many more this activities that you can choose from to help with all the excess time and energy. All those waiting time for covid lockdowns will not go into waste by learning new skill or two is not bad at all. Learning language too is a way to do it, depending on your interest. While, my interest remains in the best interests of my children… the very least productive way of killing time than sulk yourself, driving you further into depression. ***Daily regiment*** Every day, nothing really special comes to our day! Except for some awaiting moments in our life like we gathered ourselves sleeping in a single standard bed, wrapped together in each other’s embrace in a very very cold night! No one moves because our quilt is thin, good for humid country like ours. But there is just nights when the air is pretty cool, all the more if the sky decided to cry! Almost like a freezing temperature that kuya moves in to our room. It’s just so cold that the boys can’t help it but complain. While in the morning, the boys’ solution on heat is simply “don’t go out”, stay inside the house. Hiding themselves out from the scourging heat. ***Exploring*** Our daily activity has greatly changed since the pandemic and moving to the city. Although the city is big and has a lot of places to explore not just the mall but the guys are still not on for that. Right now, I am exposing kuya, touring him around the city so he will be able to roam around the city, by himself. Especially now he has come of the “exploring age”, it is best to teach him while he still goes around town with me. And by that time he will be invited to go around, he knows his way around. Part of it is educating him the ways and where to buy things like food, the fresh ones. There is actually part of the city that sells old parts, the obsolete parts that are no longer available @store. This is especially helpful if you were inclined in repairing old things, including motorcycle. I am contemplating of touring them to go on historic places to be familiar with history of the place, to appreciate the society he lives in. Which has actually has numbers to consider although hesitating because of the pandemic, while another threat is rising – dengue. Though, just locally but it will help us more if we were vigilant as the number of medical concerns is inclemently rising. ***Realization*** We shouldn’t think of the pandemic as a lock up but an opportunity to do things we were unable to do before. Its high time to explore more on those fields. Either enhancing further on our chosen fields or learning another skill or two. There are so many ways you can kill time with, you can actually choose to be productive that in a way when lockdown is no longer the fashion, you can give away or sell those you have created... Thank u for the read, 'till next time. May 25, 2022 Image: Pinterest

Relax! It's normal to be scared! Ahhh! The month has been depressing and like it or not, it feels like being stripped of bunchful of energy… the feeling that its all drained and there is nothing you can do but lazily stay in bed whole day! Sad and its unproductive. ****Events**** Economy is in decline affecting commodity prices… much less to say its just been months since we were hit by a catastrophe. Though things has been normalized but people can’t help but complain. Especially when petrol prices, an after math after Russia attacked Ukraine. Then we have the election, new administration… everything seems in a haze. Even crypto conversion rates are affected. BCH hits PHP9K the least, I saw this month or last… Frightening and really very depressing because can’t help it, it affects income especially when they look forward for extra income here @read.cash. There are even some few reads that are agitated, can be caused by some authors panicking. We really can’t help but worry because all prices are increasing while our source of income is diminishing because of monetary devaluation. The 3K conversion rate I used to have is only about 1.5K, it’s almost half if you think about it? Right? So I myself can’t help but be sad because I earned it. ****What to do?**** Situation like this always pops up especially when unexpected. Like witnessing the market crash in the US of 2008, and other seemingly market crashes around the world, is seemingly not something new. Ok, really can’t relate there because I don’t trade. So to relate, I’ll just sight my own financial crashes! Lolz. I just moved to a new place, unexpectedly. It was just months after the typhoon, normalizing takes time. Prices just normalize and now back increasing, has really left my pocket empty. What I do know is that, it’s normal to be angry because I will be forced to postpone projects and many things in this light but hey! “Tomorrow is another day” –from Scarlett O’hara of Gone with the Wind. Frustrating yes! but if we are to vent it, let’s do it positively. Why? Well of course, for the obvious reason. What do we gain in doing it negatively? It still go back to us, negatively… the more frustrated we become. The angrier we are! And if this continues for half a year? Oh! What happens to us then? Me? I don’t want to be sick so… I am in badly need of money, and I discovered there are a lot of online loans with sky-rocket interest rates and I did it for the time being. Why? Borrowing people money? Oh no! they sky rocket interest too and is not sure they’ll lend you. Too much investment, debt of gratitude, heartaches and time are some things better not wasted on money, so I decided to go for online loans instead. They won’t backfire unless you pay. No people telling you that “you owe me” especially in time of great need and approval is just 5 minutes away. Then make sure you pay in the given time. Lending money from people is like, no assurance and waiting time is like forever! So better not invest on it. Sad, that’s how it is and it will eventually feels like a trap in the future because of many reason… People like to brag and they will feel like they have the right to share, so you’ll end up in the chatter room for gossip mongers. And of course, you can’t expect them not to exaggerate! So, office reputation is doomed unless of course you love attention, but me, no thanks. Its just temporary, and have to make sure its really just for the time being. Which is why I am trying to be productive here, at least it augments! True! Lolz… then, reduced all expenses which is why I am grateful with our current residence because unlike before when my budget is really low, I panicked. Now, even if I just have pennies in my pocket, I don’t mind and I don’t worry! Honestly, not really feeling insecure you know. ****Realization!**** Its very normal to be scared, who is not? But, we all can choose our reactions. Either we do it healthily or unhealthily! However, I love this community… so, I am writing this to help out. My earnings is not as much as those prominent writers here, though I gained good experience staying here for 7 months. And I am writing this to express my gratitude and other purposes, sharing you that I am scared too! So… I would really love to hear from you! Share your thoughts so we can get through tough times together! Presenting mine… hope you’ll share yours! Thank you for the read, ‘till next time… see you around and God bless! May 23, 2022 image: mine/Pinterest

I'm taking my time this time, no more rash decisions! Mama died after 2 years of coma. It was sad. Guess, I am a bit caught up with it still. My immediate boss didn’t do anything, not even a condolence while our boss also did nothing even alms… I never got anything from this group but… anyway, I’m still glad of the good things we all have despite all this. But this is a resentment I couldn’t just lay off… perhaps it was the most obvious way of telling me they don’t like me at all. Although I am aware but at least courtesy, if there ever was! But, God bless them. (You really can’t take it off me as others were treated kindly when they have personal predicament going on.  The resentment is growing though I am not feeding it with anything. While it’s growing, my attitude towards work has deteriorated since then. It usually doesn’t but really now, I don’t want to make a hasty decision because I am wary. I’d like to take my time, though mama’s gone for a year now and unlike before I hastily went on my way and resigned. Now I am definitely able to define and find out the source of this resentment, then it stem out of how the treatment has been. I’ts sad, though ignored and I totally don’t mind, but the resentment really is growing.  Yet I don’t want to let it grow because it’s really hard to keep it up. I not good with emotions and diverting will be of no use because it’s only prolonging the agony further.  Finding out the source of the negative feeling is definitely not easy because it is not every time we are aware that those feelings were triggered until we come to a halt, pause for a while and examine. Many find it difficult to because as I already mention not every time we are aware those were triggered but sometimes we are already aware, but its just difficult to believe it was true. Many times we have resolved that it was not, but the truth is, its hard to accept it was. Now it all boils done again to our choices, because not everyone has the courage to face the truth and able to either let it go, start from scratch or move on. These are simple things to do but actually is something we always say “easier said than done”. Like me in my situation, if I quit, it may come cowardly of me and letting go is something hard because where else can I find a good job, earning good and eventually become a comfort zone. I have to let go of the “publishing a book plan”. Going out of my comfort zone is something I am very much unwilling but the unforeseen truth behind all the uncertainties presents a very good opportunity for taking a next stage in my life. Why? Taking this invitation to write here has come a long way and greatly improved from then day 1. 7 months, I have not perfected the skill. I am more confident to take my case 1 step further, no longer postponing the climb. Now, I am apt of taking all the necessary upgrade like exams, language licenses and many more… actually too eager when my meager pocket is overwhelm right now. To add up, I'm no longer lazy in thinking things over because I am writing. Lazy, that I have taken a lot of things for granted, instead, I am taking my time to really think things through. But, it present such good opportunity that relieves the frustration of having this resentment in my heart. In fact, despite the resentment... I am actually feeling good but the burden of resentment is still emanating.  I have games, books/novels/comics that entertains me together with my boys who plays with me. But at least at my professional level, my expertise in my chosen field, I have taken a notch forward while having this feeling. I do know this will be over soon, I am just passing through this stage again. Letting it out at least ease the burden and I am thankful for the site for giving me this opportunity.  Now, I want to know… We all have different ways of coping … You? How do cope up with this kind of feeling? If you would like to share, do comment below, I’d love to hear from you.  Thank u for the read, ‘till next time. May 20, 2022

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Autism - how I work around it.. I have come across the articles written by @valo and really am interested with his articles especially the ones under "neurodivergence". I am actually one. shhh, don't tell anyone, they don't have an idea only my highschool best bud knows. *Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) is* ***a developmental disability caused by differences in the brain****. People with ASD often have problems with social communication and interaction, and restricted or repetitive behaviors or interests. People with ASD may also have different ways of learning, moving, or paying attention.* https://www.google.com/search?q=autism+syndrome&rlz=1C1GCEU_enPH989PH989&ei=ZCOGYpj_MsmZr7wP3qKAoAs&ved=0ahUKEwiYwcXMtOv3AhXJzIsBHV4RALQQ4dUDCA4&uact=5&oq=autism+syndrome&gs_lcp=Cgdnd3Mtd2l6EAMyBQgAEIAEMgYIABAeEAcyBQgAEIAEMgYIABAeEAcyBggAEB4QBzIGCAAQHhAHMgYIABAeEAcyBggAEB4QBzIFCAAQgAQyBggAEB4QBzoICAAQsAMQkQI6DggAEIAEELEDEIMBELADOgsIABCABBCxAxCwAzoHCAAQsAMQQzoICAAQgAQQsAM6CggAEOQCELADGAE6EAguENQCEMgDELADEJECGAI6BAgAEA06BggAEB4QDUoECEEYAUoECEYYAVCrAVj7EWCJFmgAcAB4AIABuwGIAYEDkgEDMS4ymAEAoAECoAEByAESwAEB2gEGCAEQARgJ2gEGCAIQARgI&sclient=gws-wiz I heard people complain about my repetitive ways – its really annoying and bother-some. Like in an event when one is hurt, its like repeating everything that is done is like “injuring the injured”. Yes, I am aware not about that and I really don’t know how to say it, but “SORRY”… REALLY!!! All those years when I was not aware, or perhaps I was aware but still was not able to control. Guess I was labelled like this because of my condition. Though, I have always known but I really can’t help but feel outcast. Yes, an outcast.. because I don’t have obvious speech impairment, because it is hidden in my inability to spell well. My focus, is really short that I have problems finishing a project. My mom really criticize me for that but I always set it aside. I stumble a lot, I don’t like the crowd and spend a lot of time alone, while my hands and legs are not well coordinate so I easily fell on stairs. I’m not easily confused when it comes to feelings because I only stick to happy, sad, sorrow, resentment, anger, envy, excitement, like and dislike while all others are set aside. If it’s not anything I mentioned, I’m not really into it. Most of the time, I fail to reciprocate feelings because it’s hard for me to understand if not spoken directly. We all shift gear at any point but most of the time I’m in neutral gear because emotions to me are in extreme which makes me resilient to the point of obsession. Sharing something with me is like if you want to get the message through, say it directly or I will not understand. So, I’m not really into dramatic movies and even find comedy at times bad, so I am more into action movies. While cooking and gardening is a source of excitement. Despite the locomotor deficit, I am still able to dance but not in a crowd because I cannot concentrate when there is a large crowd. Hmmm… looking back. I think this was why I was really having a hard time finding a job because if I have a different way of expressing my thoughts, rather not normal. Hmf(sigh) but I was glad to be able to. Adjusting is hard since I am very reluctant to change. If change should be done, it should be gradual so my wiring can accept and cope. Like ADHD and other neurodivergent people, suffering such a condition is something but people must understand and let us explore because we can be functional in a society. We may be deficit in many ways but definitely we can be functional, like what I am. We have specific intelligence and skill-set that makes us all the more unique. There are actually many of us are genius which make us highly subjected to envy but really we only want a very simple life. And even if we were that, we lack the social adherence that normal people do. The further we are pushed back from the society because of our inability to jive in, the more we are actually pushed to our interests that will lead to obsession. Yes, we may be clumsy in your eyes which is embarrassing but hey! Its really not our fault, we are actually trying our best to overcome it. Like any normal people trying to cope with their deficits, we too are trying hard. Its just that our case are usually extreme which makes it more obvious to a keen eye! Lets not do this, labelling and hurting each other because this is not going to do us any good. Though we are a bit difficult to understand, leave us alone for a time and well bounce back, just don't push or punish us for being different. Thank u for the read, till next time. May 19, 2022 Image: Pinterest

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City lights – urban life! The busy streets and the rustling roads, and the city lights that brightens the evening – an urban life. I wouldn’t say it’s a promising life. But generally, it’s promising for some, success for some too but may be doom a bunch of few who lost track of goodness and aliveness of the night. I have been living in back in the city for about a year now and going my 2nd together with my boys. I have concerns which seems to out-weight the pros but in the end, to put it bluntly there is what I call “urban stress”. The city offers a lot of opportunity especially on career growth. While suburban life offers the most solace and tranquil living… Urban life offer a variety of chances and opportunity, plenty to choose from. From tranquil living to the most exotic adventure one can ever dream off, you name it and you can have it. Of course it entirely depends how you pursue, whether it be career success, love-life or dreams in life, it all depends on you. While the promises remains, there are actually a lot of pitfalls, because you will never know that you are lured into some kind of a trap or be mislead to believe something not true. Deception is always at hand because there just so many things in this world that is too good to be true. The fallacies that were meant to lure you into thinking something beautiful, exciting and vibrant only to know in the end that all is wasted including your own health. Our ignorance and innocence sometimes leads to bad choices because of lack of experience and knowledge that will actually lead into a lot of uncertainties and tests. Testing everything you have, even the very core of you. Especially when you mingle with friends that lures you to venture something new and don’t know. Like the vast schemes that is readily available in the market today. Business ventures that presents very lucrative opportunity but lacks the experience, leads to a lot of spending and investing wholeheartedly expecting a return of investment and ended up being “scammed”. The ones that takes your trust and dumps you when it is over, leaving you in great suffering and mishap. Night life can be very entertaining and exciting, meeting new friends and fun, without knowing the diseases they carry with them as it doesn’t seem to show or manifest during the introduction. Without good tact and vigilance, you will definitely end up sick – like those who never expected to get HIV/AIDs/STD and many others. On the other hand, some are raped because they were drugged and others sold or imprisoned, sold to be slaves and who knows when and if they can ever escape. When life throws something your way, unequipped , making you unable to see through and be overwhelmed with surprises... out of this could get out of hand and really tangles much trouble. In the end, render you hopeless and depress that even death presents a more rational logic than face it heads on. Taking away everything that you hold dear. While on the other hand, with tact and vigilance... Success can be achieved with due diligence, patience and hard work... as nothing is successfully done in an instant. Because if it were, Einstein would have developed his equation in a day - wouldn't he? While others chose to live a simple life, like what I prefer the most. Right now, I'm not in a limbo of what I prefer. I do know what I want... my only concern is passing these, my knowledge to my boys as they are still growing and I know they will stay and will definitely encounter a lot of what I just written. I can only hope to impart so much to them, to guide them in their choices and hopefully... will arrive home safety as all mothers pray for! Thank you for the read, 'till next time! May 18, 2022 Images: Pinterest

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Staying afloat while on depression. I got involved in crypto without actually knowing what it’s all about. Honestly, I was really attracted to it because the coins had value and there were faucets that you can actually collect and redeem. Over the years it has grown and still have no good idea on its history but here I am, faithfully collecting. Local/national election is done and not yet concluded and everybody seems to be loud about the market crushing when in fact the market has actually reached its peak during pandemic and has gradually decline since last year. Only recently we are feeling the impact of the decline, most especially this year on Russia’s attack on Ukraine has been a prominent event that causes the rise of petrol prices and a lot of changes from that event, -domino effect. Escalated furthermore locally as the majority voted for the son of “the most corrupt” government recorded on our history. Hmmmm… actually it’s not just the economy who is suffering depression. I too, this has been here for a while. It really has nothing to do about the pandemic but rather I reached the point in my life that I needed change. And for 3 years now, we are undergoing change and it’s sad because it’s depressing, all the changes. The waiting seems too long and my patience is not a very reliable thing to hold on to, so I am actually glad that I have a mini garden and writing thing to do while I have to summon a lot of energy , for the waiting. Another cause I believe is my work space, my job, my bread and butter which is giving me a difficult time because I am already at the point where I have to fight myself to go out from home and work. While everything seems in recess, from market to money even to personal encounters.. I’m never good at waiting as stated above, so I am actually grateful to be on read.cash because it helped kill time. I develop overtime instead of laying idly at one corner waiting for the day to come. @ read.cash, I am able to gauge myself which is why I am saying have developed . It’s not easy but i will definitely grow in time, granted of course I practice. While I am waiting , I decided to work on this opportunity to compose myself good articles and find out how the bot works. Which I am aiming to crack to be able to showcase something more profound, a short cut in learning content writing since I don’t have a background. And enrolling for a course is futile because I don’t have spare funds for it. It’ll be a little research to make and eventually make my own “how to do it tip(s)”. While figuring it out, I can also make more notes as I planned to pursue teaching English, the basics and how to further to advance. While the “project: book publishing” is still in the air, I might as well start to compose until I would know the direction, the content. A way of being productive while waiting for the depression to be over, market and personal. As the market is actually growing gloomier as the week ends, somehow my spending is curtailed as my cash flow is restricted and have to use credit. Unfortunately the credit available is not honored, so I am forced to do with what I have. I really aim to collect good quantity of coins so I am hesitant to use the coins I have gathered so far. I want to prepare this period to collect all the coins while the market is declining and wait to convert until the market is up. So far, I am able to delay the conversion for about a month already though I don’t know how long I can hold on. I am already frugal, but with all the depression coming in and out, down to my pocket… I am more forced to stop spending despite the supply being low. I am thankful for the previous months that I was able to stock some supplies but right now I am running out. I mean food supplies. The boys are still good and really nice that they too are jiving in. And this makes me happy at least. These are some I know I'm doing fine during this time. taking depression to heart won't do me good, so I decided for an aversion while waiting. You? anything you do under the same circumstance? Thank u for the read, God bless! May 17, 2022 Image: pinterest

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Write to your heart's content Learn From Other Writers @frdchckn Ok! Got this from above and... I am a user of this forum and honestly, writing here is fun. Really depends on the writer's perspective...With this I’d like to explore the mind set from my own perspective. I’m here for 7 months and glad to only have 55 subscribers only, I don’t know how’d I be if this numbers were to multiply. The goal is to simply explore writing and I was really enjoying it because no one knows me here, literally. So, when I write anything here, its to my heart’s content. Especially the oldest ones… and true to as it was, I am satisfied and until one day, rusty visited and there goes the smile on my face. I got his attention.  When I got his attention, I ultimately wanted more and took me a while but eventually learn and still learning to tune in with his types of articles.Then I understood a little of the contents he prefers, not really he prefers but somewhat the criteria he had set. It’s simple and manageable. But at most times, my writing were really rebellious. Tried different mixes and combining some formulae, I just positive responses which made me truly say, wow, content writing is truly something. We all have favorite topics that we love to explore and talk about. The anonymity here is just something that I really needed to proceed and enjoy writing and grow. I’ve learned the relationship of words, not just about the writer and audience which by the way, with a growing audience makes me all the more conscious with what I write. I never liked the crowd, not because I’m shy, but rather the odd wiring in my head. Many times I really shy away from the crowd and even those who referred me here, never really knew who me here is because I never revealed. Writing to my heart’s content is something I’ve been meaning to do since because I was not able to gauge my writing skills, if I ever had one. My grammar is ok, we were trained and it’s already at the subconscious level that it became part of my involuntary skills. Spelling is weird which is why I am using word for correction and I am short with vocabulary. I have submitted articles to be publish on a newspaper but all were never published, unfortunately. I was never given the floor, not even that small. And here, I get to write and publish it without any hesitation. Writing is something I am now exploring, 7 months is short as there are so many to explore. Reading about content writing online has some plus but most of the good reads are in dollars which I don’t have the budget. So, I have resolve to write and study the effects. So I now have my own criteria on how to write things. I also a unique learning ways that it’s hard for me to understand ordinary teaching methods, so it’ll be futile for me to take those classes and in the end learned nothing. Writing may seem easy to many but the truth to it is that I takes a lot of thinking skills to even tell a tale. To write vivid and picturesque scenes are quite exhausting, especially when its done in very thorough details. Vocabulary too is a must have, else the picturesque article will come short of the vivid imagery that lives in your thoughts. Connecting one scene to another, as it is really hard to put together the concept and work on it. Writing is putting in words the movie in your mind. Presenting it to the audience in a way the writer is able to, be it in a poem, short story, articles, comic skits, comedy or novels. There’s a lot to choose from depending on the writers interest. Many good writers never really expected an audience because all they ever wanted is just to express their thoughts that’s weighing down and been a burden up there… sometimes we have to take it all out from our mind to be able to think properly again, which is why many would say they’re stuck, lack the inspiration to write… Some of these are just this. I’m afraid some may even write for the purpose of just writing because if they don’t, it’ll drive them crazy. Although today’s era has a lot of opportunity for those who don’t have the skills and talent, as in the past, it was overtly a display of either talent or power. For the mediocre ones, they get a lot of help from word, and now grammarly and other apps that makes it convenient for them. Really but… writing really starts from the thought then fluently comes out and be read, as expressly written… like this one! Thank u for the read, ‘til next time. May 13, 2022 Image: Pinterest

Relationship, it’s bilateral. Relationship: *noun* the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected. the way in which two or more people or groups regard and behave toward each other. https://www.google.com/search?q=relationship&rlz=1C1GCEU_enPH989PH989&oq=relat&aqs=chrome.1.69i57j0i433i512l5j69i61l2.2455j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF- https://www.google.com/search?q=relationship&rlz=1C1GCEU_enPH989PH989&oq=relat&aqs=chrome.1.69i57j0i433i512l5j69i61l2.2455j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8 Relationship, no matter how we look at it… it can never be unilateral because it is an interaction between things or people. Its inspiring to hear stories people tell about how they find each other in this vast world. How their worlds collided in the midst of trouble! Finding out the story behind the fairy tale and that how it started. Its like, knowing the untold story of that “old house” down the corner we pass by everyday going to work or school. It fascinates me to know the details of the story, whether it be old or new. As fascinating as it is already, it gives the mind the wander of how their world begun and can’t wait to tell the world their story. Not as fascinating as how I saw it, but wanderfully written in a language we all can understand. Ohhhhh! Love! Truly magnificent it is. The undying love stories of all time, written by Shakespeare in his sonnets, short stories of Edgar Allan Poe, on the painting of Michaelangelo, or poems by John Smith. Stories immortalized by these men through their works, each craft unique to one another but the impact and the stories it tells still holds true to this very generations. Although, one’s inclination may differ but, those are stories they were telling. At home, we have a very simplified relationship. My sons and I, simplified it because I am a single mom and rearing both children… simplified in the sense where they are build up in a way I am, following genetic make-up and as they grow, train them. Build them up in a way acceptable to us.. where they bring our culture out there, where our story is made known. Known to that heart that most care though only to a few. Share the moments together, trying to appreciate every minute that counts. As time goes on and passes by, I can only imagine so much and work on all of it, little by little. Strengthening the bond that only family can succumb to its profoundness. Oh! That would be lovely! Giving my all, without hesitation will be the greatest gift that I can offer to my boys for I know I will fade… as I really have nothing else to lose or gain… the only true gain I get out of this is fulfillment and out of it comes the bitter-sweet taste of happiness. The fun, joy and sorrow shared all throughout the journey is just so much to bear alone, so sharing it with them makes it all worthwhile. Not a perfectly made home but is something they can be proud of and not be ashamed. Simplicity is all I can offer them because it’s the only thing I can afford provided that im the only one supporting them. I want my relationship with my boys be simple as possible but something they’d be doing with their own family soon, as they will have one. Or I’d like them to be able to have the same with their friends, something they can treasure for a lifetime. And of course, mix it with trust that they will be trustworthy to the people that surrounds them. After all, trust and respect are some of the keys for a successful relationship. Communication too, shouldn’t be disregarded for it plays a vital role in bridging the gap between two people. In its essence, brings forth clarity and truth to many shadows we all are subjected to, every day. Addresses concerns and issues, helps in rearing understanding and finding solutions to any anxiety that threatens the relationship. All in all, holding a relationship is tough. Whether it be just family or friends or loved ones. It has key ingredients to make it work and somehow it should be nourished and culture, for getting it together is something while success is another thing. Surviving it, is extraordinary. Thank u for the read. May 11, 2022 image:pinterest

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Mother’s day: Mom knows best until… Hmmmm… Celebrating is only a way of commemorating… The days we had spent a lot of years together. That every year gone by, is totally exceptional That celebrating is a way of “thanking each other for another year!”. I carried you in my womb for 9 months… And we shared a lot together, even dined the same food… That some and many we liked, while there are some you hated. Puked it off my mouth, without hesitation. Yes, we shared a lot including the things you most dislike. The songs we so liked, you listened as I sing along… I played with the dishes you wished and longed to taste for yourself… Especially on weekends, as you so loved the treats!   Then I carried you in my arms as I welcomed you to our world… A world that will be yours as you grow… For years, we enjoyed each other’s hugs…And kisses, as I become obsessed with you day by day! While you cling and hold my arms tightly as we explored the world. You grew, little by little each year! And it pleases me to know and teach you little things… The things that will allow and equip you more as the years to come. Forming your character first, then everything follows.   Reading was… a very bad challenge for both of us. But when you learned, oh! How happy and wonderful it was… For you never stopped to learn and has greatly improved. Improved in ways I could not imagine, and even advanced beyond my expectations… I do not claim to possess profound knowledge of the world… But what I can assure is… I am only teaching you the things I think will equip you as you grow older. And during this time, do bear with me and go along for I assure it is for your well-being…   You will grow… you won’t be forever hiding in my arms forever. But as you hid in my arms, I will assure you safety. We will together face and fight together the monsters that lived under the bed… And at the end of the day, we will surely conquer it. And you grow… you’ve gone the boy’s right of passage… We were clueless, but we got out alright. It was more fun as each day we spent wandering when it will end Until the day, it was ok!   You are still growing and so much to explore! I can only wish to impart everything before our time ends… For the world is too vast and equipping you is a task we all mothers have to endure… For there is the need to equip you, else we failed at the task entrusted to us. Our main task as moms, is to ensure… That you will be molded with character of morals and decency… Equipping you to the best possible man we ought you can be.. That by when your time comes, the world will be amazed of the young man that you will become…   We mold u with knowledge, courage and bravery… Live under undaunted principles and not live in fear! Teach you how to bear with the world and conquer your fear… Hoping that in the future you will navigate through storms and weather it. While this is what we hoped for… You have your choice if to bear and learn… Definitely, you have a say on all these… For this is just we mothers can hope for!   Only just what we envisioned you to be… Not something that you should fear… For this is your life and yours to live… While we retire and live… in the older days to come…   This is what we hoped for you… To have the best possible future… While our strength has faded as the years gone by… Teaching you all these as you grow is a strength we could do to support you in your journey!   As we softly fade into our little world… Our body ageing in the passage of time… Will softly embrace you in our arms… That you once find solace and safety, in the years not so long gone by… May 9, 2022 Image: Pinterest

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Plants, the subtle benefits!   I’ve been away for days because there really is a lot of organizing to do! What a pity, I am already exhausted. Philippines is tropically located near the equator, experiencing only hot and summer weather, with monsoon rains that can last about a week or two. Currently, we are sizzling hot as the sun scourges us with its heat unforgivingly… like its highly adorable to indulge, drenching ourselves on the coolness of the sea during weekends. I can’t imagine the little joy it brings, the refreshing and soothing effects on the skin. However, in as much as I’d like to but it’s pretty exhausting coming from a trip for a very short weekend, not to mention work that follows the day after. Plants always amazes me. And our land is gifted with such diversity that disappointing to know that many forests are now converted into subdivisions and villages, or converted for agriculture. As forestry provides protection for water reservoir -in return a source of water distributed into the metropolis, it provides homage of different species of plants and animals, some endangered, others are flourishing. The birds, amphibians, insects, boars and different plants species. In general, the fauna and flora, altogether contributes to the great ecosystem it builds. Trees provides a great sources of protection as its heights reaches meters high above, shading the earth below, allowing moist to thrive and water to dissipate while its branches serves as homage for either the birds, insects, et al… oh! The epiphytes would love this the most, while the moist encourages for mosses to thrive deep below while you can explore the floor, full of the captivating beauty of the fungi that grow, just all around. I cannot imagine the wander it brings to anyone who explores these depths. Plants indeed are truly amazing, are they not? Despite their immobility, they thrive and reaches other lands with the help of insects, birds and other animals that migrates from one land to another, bringing with them pollens that pollinates other plants. And then, cross pollinates bringing in new species as a new delight. As migration happens, comes flourishing new lands, as those pollens they have with them create brand new plants bringing in life that will soon abound. Wind too, contributes so much as there are a lot of spices of pollens, so light that they are swept away as the wind blows… the ones that triggers asthma attacks like mine, allergic to pollens. How unfortunate? True to its purpose, they only not give this delights, but provides vast array of nutritious food and supplies, none other. The herbs, serves its aroma with blends of healing flavors. Mint provides menthol flavors and effects soothing the very core of our throat, quenching the thirst. Rosemary, releases strong pungent odor that repels mosquitoes which abounds the tropics scaring away malaria and dengue – a must to have in my garden. Lemon-grass and ginger, too drives away mosquitoes and highly good for anyone suffering high blood pressure. And… funny how it seems, they seem to absorb stress away! Oh, yes! All the more reason to be glad the shift has finally ended and happily go home. Now hospitals spends and make efforts for gardens to be part of their architectural designs. It’s not everybody appreciates them. Many actually take them for granted since, they are seen, just around any corner. Look and there in one corner some thrived, while another one up ahead. I plant because I love having them around, my companions in the days old and new. Not knowing the benefits it brings of having them around as I soon discovered it. You, you have any plant stories? Do share. Thank you for the time, ‘till next time. May 8, 2022 Image: Pinterest

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How much can we afford to lose! Inspired by The painful grip of mental health problems by @valo. https://read.cash/@valo/the-painful-grip-of-mental-health-problems-720042d9 Reality bites… It’s not every day the sun shines because the rain comes too! Sometimes, stormy weather or just too sizzling hot summer. So, that’s the reality of our world. While us, our reality also is like that. Not every day we get to enjoy a lively day, sometimes very busy, and most often too tired to enjoy the weekend. Sometimes, sulking makes us feel good or better, other days we are just filled with so much enthusiasm that no one can match our almost drunken mood. There are many times our mood is not a choice but at the end of the day, it will become a choice because the consequences in life will be all too compounding if left undecided. Like, our lazy mood. It’s a bodily dictate and if it went all the way from one weekend to a month then to a quarter to year, its most likely to close doors of opportunity that only comes in once in a lifetime. It is so because we will never know our fortune in the future, next month, year and a decade after. We may miss chances of a lifetime is we let it go its way. Then comes priorities, we have to look into our priorities then assess. So even if we feel like being lazy, we really don’t have much choice but to shove it away because we cannot afford! On the other hand, there are few people with excessive luck that they can actually afford closing doors. But, only too few… to equate it, its actually the reason why there are only bunch of rich people vs the poor. So, by this you already have the idea. Not many can afford missing one bit of opportunity that’s why they have to shove off slackness and be in the best possible mood. Mama had years of depression until she decided to shove it away. Why? The feeling lingers that more you pamper it. She discovered that the more she submits to her fears, the more it haunts her. The more cripple she was and the more… unhappy she becomes. One day she decided to shove it off, she regained little by little her confidence. Oh! mental breakdown? It was all a "breakdown". And she was happy because with all that, she was able to send her children to college and graduate. She was not alone though, but still she made efforts of not embracing it but face it. I have my share too… the articles “I wanna write my sadness away!” and “Aggrieved” are articles/poems I made because my heart is sulking, just recently though I had some in the past. I am not even aware of their existence until it was revealed to me. To satisfy the “sulking heart”, it demands a paradigm shift and another one that I must take because this heart will not settle in unless it is done. And I still have so much to do, like I have to make and publish a book. Then write all the articles I need and notes to prepare for the shift and I am nowhere near it. It’s not all the time we make “excuses” sometime we are *****compelled***** because the feeling is triggered and we are held hostage until that feeling is satisfied with the “provided” resolution. That’s why many are crippled and cannot do anything but linger on. As I thought of lingering on this feeling, it is bothering me and the boys are getting uncomfortable. They are silently complaining but they see it that “momy is just tired” so they let me be, as they put their faith in me to resolve “this” in my time. https://read.cash/@Jento/i-wanna-write-my-sadness-away-62734566 https://read.cash/@Jento/aggrieved-ce314eb8 We all have to face it all in our time but the bottomline is, “how much can we afford” to delay? Me, my answer is simple… I cannot, I have boys to feed and a house to manage – we single mom really don’t have much option. We really can’t help it but… go on! Thank u for the read, til next time. May 2, 2022 Image: pinterest

My 1st day on Cinnamon powder! Weather has consistently been very unpredictable. Several days on cold font, chill run your spine or nerves as the gust of the wind passes by, -some strong and there a few short blows. Raining all day and night. It’s nice to have a nice weather on a cold night… that sends us off dozing in seconds.  Another weekend and another week, bringing in a new flavor – sizzling hot summer. Again, days with all sun and no wind by the day. While at night, enjoying the scenery that the moon is providing as the Lenten days was ending. Big bright full moons at night, while by the day, scourging sun… sending us humidity beyond compare, that going outside in just a few minutes makes you feel like everything is… that I don’t have to wonder why my boys never went out during the day. All these causes a lot of immuno problems most especially skin, my wounds developed infections and severely damaged my skin. Worst, it’s at time we have to move and everything was really upsy turvy. Lack of rest, exhausted from lifting weights with no help, and I had to go back to get the rest of the things until finally it was over! Oh! I am not yet done, cleaning the new place, re-organizing, is a bit exhausting too. Redo laundry since our clothes are all soaked and dirtied as the weather didn’t cooperate. Really, an exhausting month and causes my immuno problems that manifested on my asthma and dermatitis. Lazy to go see a doctor I am lucky I was able to buy antibiotics and took it for a week. And the wounds heal. I am relieved but asthma is still within reach. Re-organizing helps me reorient with all the things I have. Actually I’m pissed because I lost a lot of things because the former landlord took them away but anyway, I left it in the Lord’s hand – Karma. But I cannot let that distract me for I have a lot of recuperating to do and reorganizing. Planning what to do with a roof deck, I am now looking through what can be done because the apartment has 2 benches and a double deck, and I have to place them properly for good usage. Then I found a pack of cinnamon powder where I used to use it for a facial mask with the turmeric powder until I was no longer doing the mask. Search the internet for its usage, ah!!! I was happy to know I could use it on dishes with several benefits. It says that I can put some on beverage, and I tried it on my coffee this morning… lolz, put some cinnamon powder on it and tastes a bit different since cinnamon really has a strong taste that my black coffee no longer taste like black coffee but taste more like of a “coffee-with-choco” on it?!!! It is a good blend. 1st cup as I arrived from work, made some dishes for the children to eat. Read a novel and after cooking for lunch, took my 2nd cup –again with cinnamon powder on top. Oh! I immediately feel dizzy and light-headed almost like I was having a headache. I am still not sleepy so I played ML and it finally made my eyes drooping. Light-headed and drooping eyes, finally went to sleep. I have a good sleep though and after sleeping, light-headedness disappeared and general condition of my body seemed ok or good. Later on the evening when I shower, noticed that slight pain is manifesting on the crest of my right thigh. Indicating something swollen when I didn’t have this earlier in the morning. Since I’m working tonight, my nerves are feeling a bit shaky. Though by now, my eyes are drooping as always. I am actually feeling the effects of cinnamon circulating my veins and I’m not sure if this is detoxifying or something bad, but this is the initial bodily reaction. I’m noting this as to remind me, allowing me to make adjustments and compare it with other regiments I have tried. Realizing that Cinnamon is truly a powerhouse and 1tbsp is too much to take in a day. Reading the benefit and side-effects on the net, I was expecting both. I have no intentions of being killed in the process that why I making a note on this. Next time, perhaps Monday or Wednesday, I need my body to recuperate 1st before doing this again, -on smaller dozes on my coffee. While parsley has anemic and diuretic effect, cinnamon destroys the liver in such a short notice. So, I should have it on smaller dozes. I just use the supermarket cinnamon, the cheap one so I should be using the recommended dosage in the day if I intent to use it daily. Right now, I am sipping water with lemon in it, for further detox. Though lemon is like vit c, that just find it’s way out through urine, I’m not sure Cinnamon. So, I’d wait for days before retaking it. There are uses of herbs that are truly easily available and so much cheaper than dietary supplements, choosing the right one according to needs. And way safer than those commercially made available. And is readily available right at your pantry or kitchen. Like garlic, ginger, lemon grass, onions, -all these are easily available and daily cooking materials that you can live without. And can be further made easily available if you take one step further by planting them. Hmmm, next is… eyeing on rosemary. I want to learn how I can effectively use it. Having it around the house as a plant already has a number of benefits, it’s aroma actually drives mosquitoes away and it smell fresh, making the air around the house nice. You? What’s your preference? If you have a list of herbs to try, hope your list gives the best of everything. Thank u for reading and God bless. May 1, 2022 Image: Pinterest

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Life's Lesson: Everything has a reason, -a purpose… they say! Me… I grow up fighting… from things I need to want, to keeping people at my side. It’s not because I want to but rather… 2nd born, I never felt that I was welcomed. Starting from the womb, my mom had troubles. Crossing that troubled waters was hard for her. She had a hard time during my time despite of course I wasn’t giving her any difficulty. Bottom line was they had their problems, mainly financial and my dad was unsympathetic while my mom was drowned into post partum. I am not sure how and when I started fighting. My mom said that even at her womb, I have this wild reaction when somebody messes with her and cause trouble. Based on her narration, during infancy, I rarely demanded anything nor cried out loud – so her life was really easy with me that time. Guess, truly indeed a purpose? I was given to her at that time when she needed someone the most. To fight with her when spirits were down. I was the child that came about at that time when she’s at the breaking point. Easy to handle and could be resilient to anything she was dealing of. That was the purpose she had me in her time. And for all time, yes, our journey together thru the end… I grow that way, though I wasn’t looking for affection but human as we are we look forward for connection. I… became who I am, fighting for just about anything I have in life. Never giving up even if and no matter what. I always give it a fight. So I am used to fighting my way in and out. So when my husband died without me knowing he was already ill, they all said “it’s all for a reason”, - a purpose… at that time, I couldn’t relate. I have always negated that reasons they gave me because for the first time I was not allowed to fight. A decade after, I have finally come to a point of understanding. The reasons behind his immediate death, that I was not allowed to react that time but watch and witness him die. That I was watching him die right in front of my eyes, never noticed anything nearing death. I was just made to accept it all, -his death. No room to question it or grieve, just accept –automatically without questions. I would have moved heavens and earth just to have him another day! I never actually thought that this day will come, to finally have my answers! Oh! Not that I was thrilled with excitement but rather its most awkward… why? He plucked him off my life with no reason at all because he gave us our joy! And if he was alive, an overlapping discipline would confuse my joy all the more. He gave me all the reason in the world to enable me to shape my joy into someone he wanted him to be. Not as saintly all throughout but mold him into a MAN my husband was not. Not perfect but near or close to someone ideal. Equipping him, rearing him into a “MAN OF THE HOUSE” his father was not. Knowing how to manage his resources for himself and look out for his brother whenever I go out to work. Keeping the house, especially his brother, safe and sound. Overlooking his brother’s education and his as well. Our journey was never easy, it was a struggle but somehow it made our bond stronger. We went thru storms, together… and together we calm those storms, else we waited it through, together. We learned together, perhaps there were mishaps but we went all through it together. Thankfully, he knows money matters now and able to make his own budget. Should God take me away today, I am confident that he can manage it through, even with his brother. I can trust him with what I can leave them that I know in my heart he will make sure his brother graduates college and him as well. Even with great effort, I know in my heart he will, make sure of it. Now we are facing a new challenge and telling him that our finances are very much affected with my youngest sister’s financial difficulty… he could only sigh and willingly adjust. Having all these, it is way easier. Simple and easy, living through the difficulty of times and not complain. Each day we are learning, learning to cherish each other and appreciate what we have together, is something I am looking forward off. Yes, I have “what ifs”. But the answers doesn’t weigh much as it was before. Yes, he will be alive and with us. Hubby can see him through times but his ways of disciplining, will totally alter our joy’s current temperament. And this is actually the answer that satisfies to my question “why?”. I’m not dumbfounded but rather at awe! I would never had imagined. This just the main reason why hubby was plucked out of my life. Had God given me the chance to plea, pray and reason, I wouldn’t achieve this goal. Indeed, there is a reason as to why the changes in our lives. A greater reason for those “forcible” change, especially when no reason is suitable that time of change. You, anything similar? Wanna share mine, so anyone would read and undergo such change, he will find something worth noting and wait until the reason will serve itself, -in time. Thank u and God bless. April 30, 2022 Image: Pinterest

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Aggrieved Screaming is all I could think to let you out of my chest… Oh! why must I feel aggrieved? I had a good cry this afternoon and it had relieved the stress that my heart had bored for months now… Never had it occurred, that it’s the source of this unwarranted feeling of the “aggrieved”. Hmmm… the year ended with such intensity, and had started as well. From our home to work, everything was filled up with intensity over things… The surroundings that filled the scene with such horror that only one can wander how long must this be… We survived it though. We can only help each other, and be each other’s comfort… but, cruelty in the midst of chaos is so much to bear… for we are only human who can only bear so much in a given time. Thou healing commends in the passage of time, but… sometimes, it becomes a forbearance that one can only endure only for a while.   While our cup is empty for the moment… Each time it is filled and will overflow… Many times it overflow, in it, disgust and resentment… And for the time it is suppress for one can only hold on to hope, hope it may finally be gone in its own volition… But no… the hope we placed in our hearts for it to be gone tomorrow… Crushes and suppresses the zest in life we hoped to live by… For many times it lives to linger for a while and choice was not meant to be given but to accept the fate. Thus bitterness slowly grows in the heart that in time will know despair.   I want to scream… scream to the top of lungs and let all my grievances go! It pains my heart all this time and pierced it thru without knowing it was there. I was lingering on the thought that I was ok and good but there is a bitter taste of despair lurking in the middle of my chest… Couldn’t figure out why such bitterness? What’s the despair is for? I thought I am missing a friend or a stranger, -my stalker… But no, I am not missing them… I am not lonely. Then suddenly an event last night made me realize, the cause of such bitterness! Until I let it out, scream it out loud to someone who listens.   Yes, truly magnificent. The gift of a good listener… It does chase our blues away! But still, there is so much… This despair is not as simple outcry! It means supplication which I am still not prepared to do such. For the last time this happened, a great change commenced! For months now, I have been screaming and looking forward for a change… I’ve been doing a lot but it doesn’t seem enough, -a paradigm shift could only satisfy! Wow! At this age… such a change is uncalled for! Why? Because I fear it so much? For I love my “comfort zone” than change…   Oh no! My comfort zone is already upsy turvy… my comfort zone is almost non-existent. Only change is at hand and the only remedy for such a turbulent event! Oh why! Why now? When I really thought to be docile and subtle for the rest of my life. I haven’t really prepared anything for months but only looked forward for this to rest and be gone! But, how my heart is restless! For such cruelty really pierced the heart so much… My gentle and kind heart cannot settle in unless, the conditions are met… Change! Else, we’ll go restless forever!   Oh! how inconvenient! Look what you’ve done. Because of your cruelty and pride! Things must change! Unwelcome as it is, but it’s the only remedy… April 29, 2022 Image: pinterest

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I wanna write my sadness away!  A long weekend has passed and there is something that my heart wails, and I don’t know what it is. Its almost like a familiar feeling of emptiness and longingness… that I’d hope will stop as my little holidays ends. But lo, it lingers… its almost like the wailing has been there for quite some time now and shows up, unexpectedly. Why? Why you have to show up on time when I finally thought everything is all done with! I wanted to shake it off but I cant The more I wanted it out, the more it shows An uncomfortable feeling of emptiness, that I cannot help but deny the loneliness! Lo, you have been away for so long and never that I never thought you’d passed by again! Such a nuisance! I really just wanted life to go on and not wail… why must you come out of nowhere? I don’t even know why must I wail? Is it because I just lost a friend or I have lost him? Or something else? Yes, truly you existed in my life before I met hubby. And truly the longing was there… To be loved, cherished and to share life with… it has been so long, I would have never thought you’re there again! Unexpectedly, you are here and my world is not welcoming you but still… you are here and there is really nothing I can do now. Its an uncomfortable feeling that I have lost something very important. If it was a friend or a lover? It is something I can only long and could not control.. I can only pray that you be over soon. The soonest, the better. I really cannot afford a detour as inconvenient as now! Yet, you represent a good change in life. Like you were before. Unfortunately, I cannot help but deny your existence! U came again at some point when I thought you no longer exist. But now you persist, making your existence known.   Truly... You were never gone! And it only seemed you dissipated when you were satisfied… Healed, so you retreated somewhere in the recess of my mind until something triggers you. And here you are again, almost like a clown that pops off like a joke without humor! You are all over my body and I am held hostage and cannot breathe! Nor move… You are a very bad contradiction of my current state that turns off half of the buttons… And you have successfully convinced every cell of my body to do as you bid… Oh, for crying out loud! Why? Why, must I go down this road again! Heavy and dark, dreary and weary! Cold and heavy! Like nothing is there but the darkness of the mood.   Nothing earnest but the silence that creeps every time you feel like gnawing. Turning the mood off and challenging the very core existence of happiness! Oh why! A misery that I have known for long time, resurfaces… Haunting… daunting! Crippling and threatening when suppressed!   I only meant to be free from all these worries and yet you resurfaced! What good does it bring to us if let i let you linger more it was deemed to! Letting you chase the feelings that are bound to last forever! Losing myself into these unconquerable dreams! A taste of another defeat. However, I do not fear you! Yet the more you linger, the more emptiness grow. Like nothing else abounds these days except the dreariness of this timeline! Everything becomes a hollow, empty and nothing. And all efforts to happiness were crushed in a single instance.   I longed for this to be over! That my heart will rest and no longer linger In despair, no longer wailing for something unknown But rejoices in life as it passes by! April 28, 2022 Image: pinterest

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Equality, is actually fighting over an equal opportunity. It’s heart-warming reading "Let Men be Men" @Pearlkel . I would totally agree on his what he stated that men and women cannot be equal and that nothing in life will make them equal. Man is truly created superior in every way than to woman, most especially manifested on physical strength. https://read.cash/@Pearlkel/let-men-be-men-18078660 However, women’s fight is never really about equality in rights. While its pretty obvious that man is truly great however, women too would like to have an equal opportunity… opportunity to grow in strength, knowledge, work and many more… it wasn’t really about the puny thought that we want equal rights… it was all about given the “equal opportunity”. In history, women were reduced to as low as a “property of men”, many are referred to as slaves to a point of… you know what I mean… Everything women did, needs permission from a “man”. We cannot make decisions of our own, we need approval from the “man of the house” before we were allowed or we could proceed. That way, it was crippling any women, don’t you think? It was a movement way back then when women were actually pleading with men to entrust them to make decisions of our own. That we might not be subjected to any man’s approval. Like, we could be someone we can be, by allowing us education like men do. Allowing us to go to decent school since women’s education were somehow limited to household works, sewing, laundry and very minor jobs. Like we can travel somewhere afar without any permission from “the man of the house”, like our fathers – as we were often reprimanded. We were fighting for “freedom to make our own choice”. Like, we were fighting to make our own decision when regards to “whom we marry” and not be dictated or be conjoined to betrothal, or not marry at all. And in bad marriage, woman often found themselves unable to escape from the house of hell where she had to endure cruelty either mental or physical abuse because she was not allowed to make money of her own, totally depend on the husband. This was an established fact that man, with their greatness, had the tendency to abuse or be over jealous, though of course with exceptional men as well but there were. We all knew that “what’s a woman’s physical strength in comparison to man”? We were fighting to be heard, the freedom to reason with men, using logic to treat us equally as they treat their fellow men, undauntingly equal. That we were capable of reasoning too, we were not made to just sit and do nothing or cry whole day. We might cry for a while but it was our expression to relieve us from the burden in our hearts, but after that we will be more productive more than ever. We are not like dolls to be displayed as trophies or to be thrown away when no longer in need. (sorry). We're capable of fighting too, like the movie MULAN had showed. We're trainable like men do but of course, men's body were especially made to survive harsh environment but we too could, given the proper training. We were fighting a seat where we will be able to reason with men that we too were capable of responsibilities, especially to ourselves, not just to our children but to keep our family: raise, feed, make a home, educate and so much more. We were fighting to be respected as an individual, not just a woman as a man would view it but like a man respecting his fellow man… we were aiming for that kind of respect, thus “equality”. It is not really “equality” per se for we will never equal a man’s greatness but we were fighting for the glimpse that man will see and respect us like he respect any other man. That kind of respect that we long to have. All in all, we all have our strengths and weaknesses, man and woman alike. We just really need to accept it, not by a given standard but as how we are capable of making things happen in our lives. Man ruled those times, and women pleaded for equality. It’s a delusion that women could ever equal with men, as I don’t think that was ever the goal. We only want to enjoy the privileges men were enjoying those times, we only asked for an opportunity. And here we are… its true what they say, there are things women can do that men cant do! Too obvious to mention it, men can never give birth but it is their seed that forms a child. While men do well on operating machineries but women do well on electronic factories due to dexterity. These are the obvious little things I know will not change overtime as the lists of what women can’t do what men can do has become slimmer by the year. Attempts are already done to overcome the true nature of men, like transgender. For now, transgender can’t conceive but perhaps, if man plays God more… thank u for the read. Just expressing my thoughts. God bless. April 22, 2022 Image: Pinterest

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Parsley my health through! Want to join me? Health is one of the greatest treasures for all of us! I already turned 40 and being 40 has a lot of changes to take note. Do check out the articles of my sponsors… Strangely, it still feels like 30ish but a lot of catch… However, if I fail to notice all these little changes, eventually my health will get tangled with some issues later on. Bodily changes already started to manifest, some as early in their 20s or 30s. I do know of many colleagues experiencing these changes as they encounter problems that really lead to a permanent change in their life. Many actually are taking permanent medication like for high blood pressure, some for diabetes, others affecting the kidneys. I will not suggest otherwise but rather its just that really, the changes that our body undergo sometimes goes unnoticed or happened so sudden that who would have thought the young body of 20ish could not handle. Some are attributed to genetics while many are from lifestyle,- perhaps too much of good things isn’t good at all. While mine, brought about by ageing… its mostly metabolism problems and lousiness? Actually a lot had changed since we relocated because my walking stopped which has contributed so much to my physical fitness, as I walked long distance during that 20-minute daily walk. Sad to say but that 20-minute walk really helped me from gaining a lot of weight, now I have to start from scratch and its hard. Now, again, just settled in our new place and am glad to have a 3rd floor where I place all the washed garments to dry, altogether with my plants, and these help me with the physical activities –replacing my walking activities. Now, it will not be easy as the fats are stored… I am happy to go again into the **parsley-lemon** regiment which has proven me effective in eliminating a lot of bad substances and even filters them out of my body. My lung condition, the allergies and asthma attacks has been alleviated and I don’t worry on missing out on my medication anymore. Its rich with antioxidants, importantly vit c, helping me combat and strengthen my immune system. Of course, I’m experiencing lesser attacks and smoother breathing since. Then lemon provides boost in vit c, together with parsley, helps me in my weight loss by effectively reducing my appetite while increasing my bowel movement. Recently, I have wounds on my legs and got infected which worry me so much because I was afraid my sugar levels are so high but its just really infection and had to take antibiotics to immediately address this growing concern. While to address the increasing sugar levels, I really plan on taking a weekly 3-day parsley-lemon regiment for cleansing. Parsley too has sugar-regulating properties that I needed to address this concern. It has “myricetin” that is known for prevention of diabetes and is also rich in Vit K which is good help against bone fracture (MedicalNewsToday: https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/284490). While parsley is known to be a natural detoxifier, I plan on using it to its full potential to invigorate my health since I really opt to live in a maintenance-free life as I am enjoying right now, not because its convenience but rather is not expensive – I think I cannot afford spending so much on medication. Moreover, I’m more concerned with the effects of the medicine to our body as our days goes longer as the years passes by. More so right now since I am really at the age where menopause is at hand and metabolism is just getting slow each year. However, due to the past storm experiences, our province is experiencing shortage of supplies and this includes parsley. But hoping to address this concern in the next months as I planned to grow parsley once again as our new place do encourages me to plant more as there is more room on the roof deck. Although there are side effects with the regiments that should not be neglected, that too much vit K will lead to anemia, low blood pressure and other effects that will cause severe kidney and liver damage if used inappropriately. This should be observed properly because what good is the regiment if the summation is not healthy? Meaning, causing us more trouble and pain because we failed to properly administer it. These should be equivocally considered, after all, not one else is affected but our bodies for such oversight. Thank u so much for reading and til next article. God bless. Apri 21, 2022 Images: Pinterest

Hesitations For a decade I stayed with my mom, choose and stayed. Guess I became all too comfortable being beside her for all those years. I’d grown used to her presence that one day it was hard to leave. Or leaving my children to her care and go out abroad to find better income was never something I’d look forward. Earlier today my youngest sister chatted with my with my niece telling me she is moving out to TAGUIG, somewhere in Luzon. Relocating there for a better offer, a better income for her and opportunity for them as a family. It was my first time hearing this and I was surprised and happy for her. All the more praying for it to work out for her and I was glad that she talks about it still despite. She talks about her plan for the meantime before submitting her resignation and of course I gave her my pieces of thoughts. But generally I had no objections, its more encouragement really. Some tips and suggestions I could think of and showed her my place at the same time. Then all that got me to thinking… What if? I try my chances of applying somewhere, outside the province and try my luck out there! Although my cousin already proposed the same thing. Like go to Davao and apply for work there? And she asked, what’s keeping u from doing that? Oh! Hesitations! It’s rooted and I have a lot of excuses. Like I have no grand savings and know no one out there and fear for the unknown! Actually my 1st concern are my kids safety and security. Perhaps that! Although they are grown up now but its good to expose them to changes. The environment is something that should be considered before moving in. Like our place, before moving in a year ago, I checked it out and since I was already familiar with the place and location no need for thorough investigation. But what if its somewhere afar? Perhaps I can always ask SOS from cousins since they’re just a call away for any emergencies until I can get use to the place. But what if its just us? My hesitations. Bore out of fear? But perhaps, bore out of familiarity and comfort, out of my comfort zone! At any rate, crime rate increases each year and the natural calamities has increasingly been very damaging for the recent happenings. Which is why the reluctance. So much more with unstable politics of the land, the extreme reactions we are getting that the police may not be able to handle many of it. With Duterte getting down, crimes has already increased, incrementally. April 20, 2022 Image: Pinterest But I want a taste of life out of my comfort zone and perhaps. The thoughts of travelling and visiting places with the boys has actually appealed to me for some time now. And the only thing that holding me, my comfort zone. Of course, we all have hesitations and its normal. The more we have responsibilities, the more hesitant we become. Trying to see through the uncertainties of the future and address basic issues and concerns, especially the “what ifs”, is something many of us, parents, have to face. While being a single mom truly has something more to look into but sometimes seeing things in a different perspective does help. Trusting in the goodness of many and goodness in mankind is something refreshing and to look forward to. Like fear always gives us doubts, it also gives us opportunity to look into the details of our lives, allowing us to grow in different perspective – then eventually accept and grow. Molding or transforming into a different you, dealing the “what ifs” and addressing the doubts, then perhaps move on! It will be a struggle but eventually, it will settle in – in time. Allowing us to grow deeper in meaning in life and broaden our prospects including our children as well. Navigating through these will be a problem but it's normal. After a while of navigating, it will all settle in and eventually, the storm will calm just in time for another great adventure! Thank u for reading and God bless.

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Watch out for the marites! Let me share a story! Our new place… surrounded by vivid people. Unlike the studio that was isolated, here at our new place, we are surrounded by very lively people. And thanks to Ate Bilma, I’m finally settled in on our bed. People come and go and mostly up by the day unlike us, we are all up at night. Which is mostly my fault because of my shift. I’d appreciate the liveliness of the place despite my preference of a more solace one but I get to enjoy privacy as well because we are on the 2nd floor, and plus its gated so it’s there is obviously a boundary. 1st 2 days, Ate Bilma invited herself over to check on us and honestly, I was a bit hesitant because I am not used to have people who just pops out of nowhere, but do appreciate the help. It’s indeed grandiose, there was no way I was able to lift my “mahogany” bed up to the 2nd floor by myself. And loving it that she is actually sensitive and stopped popping up the next days. It was Sunday, dawn and was having a hard time sleeping because of asthma attack. We were all awake and I took a shower because I haven’t really took on the other days because the water was too cold to handle (storm, nonstop raining). Then after, we heard someone screamed. It was just once so we didn’t bother. Was able to sleep at least 2 hours and I was awaken by my son complaining about someone so early in the morning talking to neighbors… and few minutes more, she talked to the landlord’s son… we finally found out it was ate Bilma, maretising early in the morning! I invited her over for a cup of coffee and interview her what’s her story so early in the morning! And she talked unceasingly… She said, I was awaken by the puppy barking at dawn because the bitch won’t feed them, so she took care of the puppies. And upon going back after, she encountered someone unexpectedly and surprised her, by the side, fairly dimmed empty place… the guy, wearing a gray shirt and shorts, was shaking and moaning… surprised by the activity, she screamed “tabang (help)!”, on the thought the guy will jump on her… and u can imagine the next scenes... Unfortunately, no one responded and she ran to get help. She went back, bringing a knife with her to confront the guy but the guy ran. We finished our coffee and gave her some “missua” to cook on a very cold morning, for a noodle stew! And she left, we watched her left but before going home, she went on to talk about her story and further spread the story. As we watched, we were laughing because if the guy happened to live within the area… I couldn’t imagine how humiliating that would be to be discovered like that and the story just spread all throughout the neighborhood. It wasn’t really a case of exhibitionism, it was just one night mistake! I totally understand because it was really cold that time and perhaps, he needed a release. However, who would have thought somebody will be out at 2am in a very cold morning?! It was just a wrong time and place. And being discovered like that and to be the talk of the town for about a week, it’s humiliatingly embarrassing. So, really, watch out for the marites and mind your actions. If the guys was really young, it was really a lesson to learn. However, lesson though… If it were you in the middle of the night… don’t scream “tabang”, no one will mind… scream “KAWATAN (thief)” and everyone will pay attention! Thank u for the read! God bless. April 18, 2022 Image: Pinterest

Fear, a natural phenomenon... @Olasquare, an interesting article he wrote “Fear is a choice”. It’s Sunday, and its Easter, happy Easter Sunday everyone! Check out the articles of these fabulous sponsors of mine, very interesting. @Olasquare , I hoped you don't mind. Just my understanding of things. https://read.cash/@Olasquare/fear-is-a-choice-6fe02e5e Well, fear is a natural phenomenon I would say! We all are build up with this as a natural survival instinct. It is designed to protect us, especially from danger. Like the intuition that “SPIDERMAN” has whenever imminent danger is at hand, his warning signs. Although this is highly fictional but this is an exaggerated description of it. Even God, Jesus Christ, fears death as he faced it – as he became human and was naturally equipped with fear like we are. Well, naturally Jesus conquered it as he undergo His passion.  We are all subject to fear, and just a matter of how to handle it. When I say a natural design, meaning it’s in bedded in our genes. Its instinct, a build-in natural defense mechanism, most of the time unconscious reaction on things – involuntary. The more exposed, the more repetitive, the tighter the grip… When people are traumatized, many are crippled with fear, instinctively they ran away from it. Protecting the self from further damaged, either physical or emotional or combination of all. Avoid it at all cost. Like people who went through nasty driving accidents, many of them do not drive anymore or worst refuse to get in the car or any vehicle for that matter. People exposed to danger, like those soldiers sent to war, are highly experiencing PTS (Post Traumatic Stress). Their reactions to people screaming or fire or anything in danger is imminent and involuntary, which is why they are highly reactive. It’s not a result of a thorough thought process but rather an automatic response to danger, subconscious. Like security personnel, the highly trained ones, are those with highly repetitive exposures and their training became their reflexes. The moment they sense danger, they don’t think, they just react. As one movie of Tom Cruise “Knight and Day”, would put it “its just reflexes”, his defensive stance. The firemen, police, rescue teams, nurses and doctors... The dangers they face when they encounter accidents, catastrophes... It is supposed to be a guide to keep ourselves from danger or alert us from incoming danger, but sometimes the experience is so bad, can't help but be overwhelmed. Say, my cousins, a family of them… I accompany a cousin to retake the university entrance exam because they are had bad experiences with taking exams – all exams failed. I make it a point to be there, to assure them it will be ok and we’ll get through it. Because the 1st time, they refused because they were already thinking they’ll failed. It’s a fact because they’re not bright and even due diligence still wont – acceptance? Perhaps. Same, a cousin took Doctor of Medicine and failed in the exam, refuses to take the exam again. It’s not really out of fear but rather they recognize it already that its not their thing. Mama… fears death at the face of death. “I fear of dying alone!” she said, but all of us dies alone. Well, mama always feared to be alone, which was why I couldn’t leave her. Me, enabling? For mama to get out of the house again and mingle with the crowd, it was a decade before she can do that. Death, perhaps she thought that undergoing such and no one is there to hold her hand while she go to eternal rest is something unsettling for her. While it is true we are exposed to different realities in life, there are common denomination. Like we are all subjected to fear, and not all of the things we fear we are able to conquer. Let's reach out and help. People who experience crippling fear is very heavy to bear and it will take years before they can overcome it –others never had or never found an opportunity. I’ve been there with my mom, it wasn’t easy. But, it can be a choice but please take note, not everyone has the same strength of facing fears! Take it from me, they are looking for opportunity that some came all too sudden, others never. There are really fears that are rooted deep down and many actually failed to overcome it that’s why many went depression or committed suicide. But once its conquered, the relief it brings. Splendid. I would say, these are journeys by many of our fellows that are having difficulties to tackle. Hmmm, sometimes really we ran out of patience but it helps a lot to help them once in a while when we reach out to them. It’s heart-warming too to help someone cross the bridge. *One prominent problem though, many of them has no one to talk these things about without being judged or criticized. Sometimes it pays a lot just to be heard or sit a while and listen to their stories.* Unfortunately, many of us doesn’t have the time to just sit and listen, too preoccupied with our own lives. Thank u for the read. God bless. April 17, 2022 Image: Pinterest

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A walking deadman "I prefer death" @Gaftekloriginal https://read.cash/@Gaftekloriginal/i-prefer-death-56aaf681 Another writing prompt? Oh no my friend, you really got me thinking! Let me tell you a story… Years back, I used to have circle of friends, my colleagues at work. 2 girls and a boy, and we all call each other “geng”, gengsters so to speak. These are a bunch of fully loaded colleagues that to be near them is... will make me insecure with my current job portfolio. They are these good that all 3 of them are google certified, SEOs, lead gens and marketers. 1 died, the other still roaming the world and the 3rd is half-dead – and his name “Sharon”. He was the last of them that went away. He was currently under pressure from work because the department he was in was under scrutiny and his manager was just all over him. While he was doing his work, he discovered all of things that really needs updating and his manager was not the kind who likes to be corrected. Oh, geng was not an all-show-man, he was very down to earth and very low profile. Tried to conceal his skill set but was eventually discovered because of affiliates and he was making good income from it. When his skills were noticed, his manager and colleagues placed him under bad pressure. And perhaps geng, reacted so bad his blood pressure rose high, as high as 200/120 and this was every day. However, unfortunately, he never noticed this. I asked him if he was good because he was so red and he just told me he was fine. But we cant let it go, we sent him to the clinic and there it was found our his blood pressure reached 240… It was not long, he can no longer take how he was treated and decided to resign but tendering means had to serve 30 days. Fortunately though, we devised for him to take rigid monitoring of his blood pressure for 2 weeks and there, tender immediate resignation. And boom, it was a blast. Everyone else on his team complained but there was nothing they can do about it because it was legitimate. He went home to his family, in the province. Years ago, geng, his blood pressure finally came to a point of no return. He had a stroke. He was in ICU for 6 months and his brain was operated on, removing some part of his right brain. It took him years but luckily, his was recovering. He woke up from coma, then he went therapy… then he started walking again. His 2nd wife took care of him. The expenses from the hospitalization, oh! God knows how but there were generous friends who sustained them. I knew this because his wife posted his developments on our feeds. The horrors he faced back then? I have no idea how it was. To deal with it, I still hadn’t talked to him but could only share a few encouraging thoughts, especially now he seems to be dealing something hard and difficult. True, we may all prefer to die but geng, chose to live. For his wife and kid… forced himself up and with God’s good grace, he is able to walk again. Though half of his body is unable to move but gain so much since then. His case, well, struggle is real. Not just him but it is also difficult for the wife. But one good thing, they have each other on those times. And they prove that “love” really conquers all. They have faith and faith remains... Thank u for the read. God bless. April 16, 2022 Image: Pinterest

My fantasies! My thoughts my solace all this years, my sole companion my comfort in times of fear and loneliness a surreal hiding place where I can explore the recess of my mind.   A safe heaven where fantasies come to life. A dreamland where I want live Not forevermore but in time for a get-away Away from life’s demands and scary commitments Lo! You, provided comfort that no one else can… Not even the kids… A comfort where I can safely embrace my whole being Without judgment and prejudice   Where my soul can rest and my mind can wander In an arms where embrace is full and true That my tears can come out and flood the rivers of my cries. Oh! how epic it would be as it overflows…   Overflows down the raging flood of cries Where it never overflows outside the realm I lived. How refreshing that would be… Like fresh new eyes that sees the new horizons! New horizons that knocks our doors once in a while… While a striking blue moons smiles at night! Oh! how nice is the view to enjoy by the few In a lovely evening I spend with you!   Oh! how long I want to stay but… A compelling odyssey, a must to return For you only live within the recess of my mind The thoughts that allows the soul to wander… Dissolve in the illusion of no tomorrow But will be awaken by the light of the morrow! Lo! How disheartening it is stop the mawning Like an everlasting yawning and daunting!   Alas! The dot is near… Taunting the soul out from the mear… Dragging it back to the realm… Where ever thing is bright and clear! April 14, 2022 Image: pinterest

Relocating: the apartment! The weather’s been cold since the weekends. The non-stop rain makes it harder for us to move, so much more the transfer. Relocating seems to be a blessing in disguise as the soil is soaked and mud is all over the place at the studio. The heavy down pour of the rain and the occasional gust of the wind truly indeed gives us the chill and freezing feeling that freezes our motions, unabling us to move further from where we stand. It is a good thing to move immediately without further ado! God indeed provides and equipped us to make it possible to move out. Sense of security is marvelous, internet is still fast despite the heavy non-stop rains with occasional interruption. Lights still need a little fixing since the service man is unreachable due to the weather. The front door lacks lock, but it is something that can be resolved, with a good quick fix. The neighborhood is securely good since we are just along the road and less mud and noise. Oh! how heavenly! Now I don’t have to worry over petty things. I can now relax knowing we have water, anytime. The apartment is still upsy turvy, its only been days and didn’t go on leave for the transfer because we are short-staffed. Little by little, we are getting leverage. To enjoy our time with lesser worries as it offers us the comfort and the space we needed. Unlike at the studio, we are always wet. We cannot enjoy meal together because we will be soaked and wet. It defies the purpose of having a place of our own. The landlord and their family always invades us because the landlord always finds ways to make advances on rent, hopefully I don’t need to worry about this. I can focus on developing the garden I envisioned since the place has a roof deck where I can place all my plants. I want to enjoy freshly picked vegetables or crops. The lemon-grass I so longed to have, for a good chicken or pork or fish stew! Ahhh! Like this stormy weather, its nice to have stock at home where I can easily enjoy to pick some for our meal! This time, I will be able to enjoy having spinach again and some scallions, sayote, beans, ginger… oh! I will be growing mint and strawberries again as the sun will definitely shine. Perhaps not this week, but definitely it will after the storm passes by! Tomatoes and some chili to grow again, though on container but it is all possible. Id be happy to be able to house all these herbs on the roof deck, since I worry about saving some dimes and at the same time saving trips to the market in either hot or wet weather. Prices are really getting higher by the day and Id really would like to enjoy these luxury still despite inflation. The roof deck too offers some room to run, since there are real space up there. View is also nice, almost feels like a birds eye-view. Oh! I almost forgot, I worry less too in storing vegetables and fruits, they don’t rot easily as easily at the studio. It really saves me few extra pesos. Like my potatoes, lemons and carrots are still good. It also offers a good space for friends to meet, an open-house soon? A fellowship… Perhaps! I am hardly difficult because I’d like things to be really easy. Life is already hard so I don’t have any reason to make it difficult. Yes, true there are things we need to consider and all our priorities goes along with it. I appreciate the place, its not ideal but it offers opportunity for us to grow and enjoy our time together as a family while it offers us safety and privacy and convenience as well. It is something I really look forward for as all of these are luxury, almost too expensive to have! The apartment is really accessible that going home in the middle of the night is not a big deal. So when the time comes kuya will go out to meet with his friends or do some errands, let worry for me! Thank u for the read, God bless. April 13, 2022 Image: my own

The so-called “Freedom of Speech”. Article 3 of the 1987 Philippine Constitution… “freedom of speech”. It is often highlighted in today’s era that we are enjoying freedom of speech just about in any form. Forums, groups, communities, social media, et. Al, name it and it is all written there! But do we really know the meaning of it? Philippine election is really fast approaching and… all too many people severed ties because of the differences of Presidential candidates. To think these are people build years and memories of friendship only to end up broken because of small conflict that is raised exponentially. Well, it’s all a choice but sad because people can no longer build good argument or give a very well logical opinion about the platforms presented by each candidate which I was really hoping it will be. I am naturally very neutral and unfortunately I saw a feed on FB, one prominent man who I thought to be a gentleman but… sad! He folded. Suddenly flipped to the other side of the world where I was so shocked to know that, wow! He was making posts calling for “electoral education”, and basically his background in politics is very limited! So, I naturally reacted because it was really uncalled for! Why would you conduct an “electoral education” to educate people when your political background is very limited and worst, its with a fee? Like, he is charging people so he can campaign for his candidate and call it “electoral education”, digging more holes on people's pocket? No! I can’t help but react, because this is upfront “fraud”. I presented my rebuttals, of course, l conceal his identity since he is a prominent person with influence. I was trying to protect his identity despite and now he was playing “victim” announcing it on the feeds. He lured people to believe he is right, and influence people to vote for this candidate and even published articles on all the cases against other candidates. On the contrary, I published posts to prove him wrong because its not right. To only present “half-baked” facts is not good and its “null and void” in any other courts and he didn’t know that? I mean, what right does he have to influence people on who to vote or worst, dictate, when he’s information is limited. To even conduct “electoral education” based on his limited knowledge on how to run a government is truly an overstep and insult to the rank and file employees. And when all his claims were negated, he now bully common friends with his minions on his side, bullying, insulting, blackmailing. All the more I publish very strong statements for him because, as he was exercising his “freedom of speech” he is also stepping on our “right to freedom of expression and right to correct information” because he facts were not at all facts. It is not “freedom of speech” anymore, its overlapping or overstepping other rights. It misuse and abuse. While you protect yours, you definitely have no right to disseminate wrong information. This is how lowly people are these days! This is a man with title and influence, and he is coercing people to think like he does. Using influence to manipulate subordinates is an absolute abuse of power. Though he is successful, its really very unbecoming for him to do so! He is entitled to his opinion while others are too! We all have equal rights and should not be overstepped just because he feels like he is entitled. No! That is absolutely not right. We all have the responsibility to correct and not become like them. So, we correct while we can. Thank u. April 13, 2022 Image: pinterest

"Circumcision: Boy's right of passage", our story. Oh! yes, yes! i’ve been doing a series of writing prompts before march ended and early April. Its fun, well at least I’m having fun. Though im not sure the other party’s is doing so. Its not supposed to be writing prompts but rather response to articles I read at read.cash that I usually find myself almost writing an article to response. So instead, I turned it into writing prompts, Im not sure if its nice but I got some responses. I am not stimulating anything nor trying to attract audience, like I already claimed, I love the anonymity read.cash offers and I would never exchange it for anything else. Privacy is still important to me! do check out the articles made by sponsors! Next business is… An article from @Dreamboy “Family Gathering: Our Tradition of Circumcision Part 2”. This is long overdue, sorry, been busy. I didn’t read part 1 but reading this brings me back to the time that my eldest son consented to do his circumcision… hihihi! Oh! that is fun, I have a very bad habit of teasing my sons. Every year I ask him if he wanted to do it na, “the circumcision” thing. And he said, “I tell you when I’m ready mom!”. So, me “ok”. “Alright”. I am not really the kind who insists unless its “life and death”. But things like this, I do usually wait because “it’s the boy’s right of passage”, so who am I to get in the way of that passage! Right? Of course. I waited until he finally said, “mum, I’m ready”. And I say with a big "YES"!!! https://read.cash/@Dreamboy/family-gathering-our-tradition-of-circumcision-part-2-ba674735 Then came “summer”… Oh! It was easy but hey! I was never circumcised so I was again clueless! Oh no! hahaha! That’s actually the fun part where I never had an idea what boy undergo when circumcised… hmmm… i’m glad the procedure was really easy and he didn’t cry and aching afterwards. It was all easy for him and taking out the discomfort or any injury, he wore short shirt and wear bottomless for the next 2-3 weeks. He stayed all the time at home and good that we lived in our own private place, he didn’t care much that he was exposing himself to us. Hygiene was important and antibiotics for the infection, should there be! Every day routine was bathing in guava soaked water for fast healing of the wound and some turmeric powder to alleviate the swelling. I, the mum was much more anxious for the healing to pace up as that I was already at the edge of my seat waiting for the wound to heal. Like, the end of 2nd week is almost there and it was still swelling! And can’t help but worry about if it was infected or not, but he was not having any fever. They say it heals at least 2 weeks but it could really go to a month! Like, waaa, my head was already spinning because I really cant wait for my child to go out and play already! I was the one anxious but my son was just waiting there patiently. And one day he said, “mum, im good!” and he was wearing some bottoms again! Ha! (sigh), a big relief! It was finally over! He was already running towards the sea to freshen up as summer heat was just excruciatingly hot! Yes, that was over for kuya! Bunso is still to undergo the same! But he is still bunso… this time, I know. I know what to do! Unlike before, wow! 2-3-4 weeks wait, its long! Really. Summer is up but its been raining non-stop and storms are overlapping, that landslides are everywhere! Anyway, will have schedule bunso’s circumcision this coming school end. Oh! I’m excited though he is not because he saw what we did to kuya, we had fun teasing him… We really don’t have any tradition on how circumcision is done like other culture. What’s important to me is that I’d be there to watch over them as they undergo the “right of passage”, or “change”. Yes, I understand. Fear is inevitable but I can’t help it, they have to. They have to face it and one good thing is that I am still here, to hold their hand and watch over them as they undergo such change. Assuring them that I’d be there holding their hand no matter what. Mommy's not letting go until you are comfortable and confident. They may not have a father but I can help them become one in the future. Hoping, the good one! Thank u for the read! God bless. April 12, 2022 Image: pinterest

My 6 months journey in read.cash... the writing, never better! @itravelRox Writing many articles helps to exercise my brain https://read.cash/@itravelRox/writing-many-articles-helps-to-exercise-my-brain-9c2e039c Well I have to admit… it did exercise my brain a bit. And little by little articulates my mind of the things I ever wanted to say and refined the skills I so set aside. Now, its growing. For the last 6 months I have been writing, yes, I have learned a lot. I can now focus on some angles and learning how to present ideas better now that I did, like I was a scatter-brain then! Well, now I finally understand how it meant… Compose my writing according to my focus and targets, I can do this now. Unlike before that I have no focal point, only trying to write anything I wanted to share. Now, I have acquired a deeper understanding of its meaning, purpose and reason to write. Grammarly wise, well, I’m slowly trying to back track myself to the time where we still practice grammar so beautifully. I only use word for word count and google for vocabularies. I haven’t really tried expanding my vocabulary except just do this unless in dire need. I haven’t really make use of this yet but I already found the need. When? Oh! I think it’s just about time as I continue to work on writing, the need to expand my vocabulary is getting keener and keener. Why? Because as I write, I gain the zest of making my articles more picturesque or I want to have an enhanced sensation either visuals or senses. To vividly write the picture or movie in my mind is something I want to look forward. Like the novels they wrote. I really look forward now to writing my heart and mind out. And even look forward to print a book or two or some, lolz! Ambitious? Oh yeah! I am getting bolder this year, ayt! As I already mentioned it, this year will be something hell different. On a different level, leverage is something I wanted to gain for myself and experience isn’t really short. It’s not really bad as I am trying to enhance and develop myself at the same time, I can earn few extra dollars which is really helpful in troubled times! And perhaps it about time to develop a module, - My English Module. This has been long overdue and perhaps, I can help people who needs this. Making and publishing this, is not just about me. But something I can share to my world and help people overcome shyness by teaching them how to interact. Help them gain confidence over a lot of things, public speaking, conversation, lectures, demonstration, thesis defense and a lot more. I never would have thought to do this though I have thought of this but it never occurred to me that it will happen thanks to a friend who invited me to read.cash. It has been a growing adventure and very, very fun indeed! I am indebted and very grateful, the journey has been very helpful. Thank u for the read. April 10, 2022 Image: pinterest

Post Partum: Understanding it even just a bit, makes a difference! Well, to be honest about it… the pregnancy-child articles I had is inspired by "To the ladies out there” @Gaftekloriginal. (Will include the link on Tuesday! Sorry) Thought of replying but instead I made an article about this… actually a series already. I think this will be the 4th article inspired by that… lolz… I just didn’t mentioned it in my previous articles. Now below were the articles inspired by this article:   Motherhood, things I planned to teach my boys! https://read.cash/@Jento/motherhood-things-i-planned-to-teach-my-boys-41ed96aa Clueless, Parenthood... How I managed to go thru this? 1st stage https://read.cash/@Jento/clueless-parenthood-how-i-managed-to-go-thru-this-1st-stage-0e3ee8d0 https://read.cash/@Jento/getting-pregnant-my-worries-and-concerns-what-to-look-into-143079af   So, if I was to reply… imagine how long it would have been! Lolz… and its not even complete yet! Hahaha! Truly I had a very good read which was why I was really writing all these articles for all his concerns. If he did have time to read, perhaps as I do encourage him to read so to understand women especially during pregnancy. And some more replies perhaps, except of course the s*x part!!! Lets get back to business! Well, its really easier said and done… yet, there are actually a lot of movies and even telenovela series that depict pregnancy and all it pros and cons but still we get to know, only a few perhaps only tidbits are true from that point of view! Most writers don’t seem to know how it really is, ayt? Hahaha! While the movies and telenovelas has a lot of nice moments, like when the baby gets out that will make the mom happy?! Oh no! I didn’t recognize my son the 1st time I saw him after getting out of my stomach! Oh! believe me, its nothing like the movies! Actually the 1st thing I noticed when my baby was out was that, a sense of relief that he is finally out! Then I had a freedom to move about especially picking up something from the floor! OMG, it was torturous when he was still inside me. Like sleeping and getting up! Oh no! when he got out, oh yes! Finally, I get to move freely. There were a lot of powerful adjustments too, like your hands and palms are swelling… it was hard to stand or touch because of the swell that last for a day to a week. Then, the non-stop bleeding, good for me it was only 2-3 days and very minimal, while other moms! Oh no! a week to a month. Then the stitch we got from the baby coming out, needs to heal or else we wont be discharged! This is just the mom! Oh! There is more! The baby! You know, postpartum is not about just the mom, the baby too! Did anyone ever tell you that the 1st 3 days when the baby comes out (especially when alone, this is the horror!) is a living hell? Oh yes it is! The 1st 24 hours, is how to understand and comfort the baby. It’s a whole new world for them. While 1st mom too, a whole new world for them, like we are highly bombarded with the feelings of almost every kind plus our body swollen and the exhaustion from delivering the baby plus, making it alive! Did anyone ever thought about that? Oh! I hope you notice this too! And we get a lot of comments and criticism from people who had no idea what we’ve been through? Oh please! The physical appearance is just to show you how hellish being a mom after delivery. The being unkept and all other things, true. Why? You see, the baby cries and we have to produce milk and we don’t have time to look at the mirror and ourselves… ok! We don’t have that much time! We are more concerned of addressing the baby’s  needs. Like the things ladies do, fix herself before having a baby is all consumed by the baby alone, lest men demands that their wives should look like a fairy all the time? Like? Duh! Support or help? Is there? Demand if you must, give help or support at least. But if none, I don’t think you have any right to complain! The moment the baby comes out, if you are a true mother, the 1st priority is the baby unless of course, your man is that very important to you. However, in my family, our priorities shifted when our baby came out. He is our number 1 priority. He knew I was clueless, so get all the help I needed… and I was so damn grateful to have such a husband! He made it easy for me and demanded nothing but be alright for our baby! He kept us and made sure I was adjusting well. Make it all comfy for me. Imagine all those mothers who never had the man I had? U think? Oh no! the horrors of the demands plus the demands of the society being kept. So men, make sure everything is comfy for your wives before you ever demand her to be sightly because this is never easy. Have you ever wondered why many women suffered postpartum depression? Of course, the rejection. Being unequipped of overcoming such emotions and criticism and all other factors! Oh! please be gentle! You’ll never know, it will be your wife who will be subjected to this or a sister or a friend. Please be kind with your words, we only need to hear assurance from you that you will take care of us. Insulting us while at our low, is really just too much! As we really expected our men to side us not leave us with all the demands without thinking it over. Not all women are strong! Hope this helps! Thank u for reading and God bless! April 10, 2022 Image: pinterest

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The signs and wonders, that keeps us at awe! Oh oh! I have a good read from… Check it out, and I once have an experience, I believe I already shared but I am more fascinated after reading this post. "`A Hidden message from God through the yellow moths`" @**Kleah97****.** https://read.cash/@Kleah97 In my lifetime, I have heard stories and a lot of them. And moths, are amongst the few fascinating ones and you’d be surprised that it actually have fascinating anecdote attached to it. There are movies to prove it's mysticism and most likely it’s under HORROR theme. Wow, small but bears powerful messages only to those who seek and mystified. Like the Boogeyman, moths are believed its mysticism is baseless and surreal. But even the movies says otherwise, like the movie in the movie “The Mothman Prophesies” that stars Richard Gere and among others. Mine? Well, well… My share of moth stories is actually a traditional belief that ones moth visits, somebody close is about to die. Yes, perhaps it is. Back then, before my husband died, moths surrounds him and even to a point that I was telling him that his bestfriends are visiting him once again. Back before my mom died, again, we were surrounded by moths. The small tiny black/brown ones. And when my friend was about to die, yes that too. Surrounded us. A lot of times we seek to understand the uncertainties of the future, especially on most important things we need to make a decision. True, it will never be easy that’s why we seek signs and most of the time we spent so much asking, praying and everything we can do just to answer some questions. Even dreams. Yes, even dreams are messages that always comes with warning signs or urgent messages. While not so long ago, I have my share of anecdote on the yellow moth visiting me. The longest time I appreciated beautiful insects like butterflies, dragonflies but this one was unique. For the first time, I was at awe, because I was never visited by a yellow moth. Oh! It lingered on my hand for about 10 minutes. Which I terribly failed in documenting it. Ah! It was so wonderfully exquisite because the fur, the wings are simply beautiful. It was like a princess moth came to pay a visit. Such a lovely creature. I was mesmerized by its beauty that I really went blank and failed to take a picture of it. Oh! so bad of me! But the memory lingered. I followed it outside as it flew away only to find out that my stalker passed by! I was immediately taken aback because I never expected it to lead me to my stalker’s presence when I chased it outside. What could it mean? I will never know. Perhaps, it sparked something in the depths of my heart, an awakening I never really understood? Probably but… left me an erring feeling and excitement also! For whatever its worth… messages are there in these forms whether you are liberal mystic or simply have the inclination to it. Whether it good or bad, its our take. But always take like as it is because as always uncertainty is just ever there! Whatever we do, make and take or give, affected everything that comes our way. So never forget to be kind and be grateful. Never forget to give thanks! Thank u for the read. God bless.

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Have to find another place... but I'm broke! Water from the sky just keeps on falling these days! And its just so wet outside as expected. But it’s a different story when the inside too is… RAINING! A don't forget to check out their articles, its worth the read! To properly describe and visualize it, anyone seen Maleficent (the movie)? That scene where Maleficent was watching over the baby and was annoyed by the fairies childishness that she made it rain inside the house! Yes, its almost like that. After work, I have to prepare for the kids: their meal for the day! And finally, this month, got to go home early... And as I buzz in and tried my best to do all in time only to find out that working in a wet pantry isn’t just bad but disheartening! Like the bathroom or CR, Pantry should be part of the most clean places in our home. Oh, I really don’t need to explain a lot, don’t I? lolz. Of course, this is where food is really processed and imagine yourself eating food that’s not clean or the place it was prepared was not clean. Don’t you find it gross? Ewww! The ceiling walls started to drip last February. Its like raining inside as you’ll catch water all over you especially when its heavily raining. I told the landlord, however, due to cash constraint, they want me to fix it instead or look for a place. My mistake was to give another advance to the original landlord as he asked, I pitied him – I really thought he needed the money badly. So I swallowed it all and bear but it just gotten worst. The landlord keeps coming back for advance and the ceiling keeps on dripping. My eldest knows and told me its about time to transfer. We look for a place and found one but pocket is empty for a month’s deposit and advance, need 12K at least to be able to move. And I just donated about 10K to the landlord because he made advances. My heart is really at lost right now and the online credit lines are either cancelled due to system failure or internet failure? Oh! This is bad. You see, it is important to prepare the food clean. Like everyone knows about it. It affects our health and with all the prices going up due to war in Ukraine, getting sick for this kind of negligence isn’t acceptable. There are temporary remedies and I can work around it, the drippin. Like putting vulcaseal, a sealant durable enough for a year or cover it with plastic for a while and make sure it stays until they can slowly buy the materials and save enough money for the labor. I don’t mean instant but at least they’re doing something, but none was really done. The water from the ceiling reaches the food or drinking water, its already wasted. Why? I cannot risk, I have to throw it all away. Cant imagine a lot of waste because of it and I'm not really unto wasting food. I am already blest that my family is eating well and to waste food is to waste God's blessing... If you let your imagination run wild, like what could the dripping water contain? Of course, you’ll never know who lives in the ceiling. I can only think of: rats, insects, and so much worst, snakes? Their feces and urines. It can all be gathered through the dripping water. April 07, 2022 Image: Pinterest I am at lost because the heavens seems to be punishing me! My hands are tied, and I have no more credit lines because I have to lend my sister that last available credit line. And… hayst! Another day! another ache! Anyway… another toxic relationship I have to get rid off! Landlord and tenant, pity should be lessen. It comes in the way of taking care of our needs! Oh! how bad! Thank u for reading.

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