Clueless, Parenthood... How I managed to go thru this? 1st stage

I have written an article entitled “Mommy duties and roles”, just within the month. I’ve written all over the place that I was “clueless”. I studied Masters in Language before I got pregnant and was lucky enough to encounter theories that helped me in rearing my eldest and my 2nd child. Like all my claims, nothing is really full proof but at least it gave me an idea or gave me a scenario on how our lives will be as they grow – and at the same time, me growing too! If any young mother as clueless as I was and find this article, perhaps it will aide her in her troubles.

Special mention to the article "Parenting" by Aimure, this article got me into this.

My 1st concern was that how do children grow? Its not really a matter of responsibility but more on how do we guide them? And I was glad that my children were never genius because if they were, that would have been chaos. Why? Of course, they wont follow the general guidelines and timelines in growing up. If you had watched the movie “Gifted”, you will be conflicted in almost all ways if you happen to bear such a child. Her norms will never be normal norms like other children and will most experience discrimination due to that. More importantly, the role of a mother or parent or a guardian, in the absence of a parent, truly matters most especially in building her coping mechanism. Special care is needed since her case is special. Just as the story developed, her EQ should also equal her IQ and must find happiness in order to proceed with life and not end up in tragedy like her mom.

Complicated isn’t it? Ha! Yes, although many over simplify things but there are actually crucial moments in child development that needs to be addressed like the physiological development, infants reaction to emotions: laugh, angry, excitement and many more. Brain development is important at this stage because, I mean seriously… If a child actually catches meningitis at this point, you can imagine the horrors it’ll give to your child’s future since meningitis has long term effect on psychomotor development. And its actually during infancy that the brain develops fast. Oh! These are just some of the basic things that goes to my mind when I was battling these years. To add up, there are queues that parents should be very wary about, if our child was not talking or unable to speak at this given age, 4/5. If you were ignorant mostly likely to neglect and act like the child is just a late bloomer but there are actually consequences if we don’t address it immediately. This is why pediatricians monitor these developments to address any profound issues encountered as the child grows. Then this is the part they will be suggesting speech therapy sessions which can be very expensive if remain untreated. The longer, the more expensive it becomes. And there is actually a point in child’s age that due to failure to address, communication skills is most likely not to develop. It was actually fun learning these stages because it came to a point where I knew the stage where children easily learn new language or languages and I just let it be. I was thinking letting them learn Spanish but my hands were really full and so, it was just me thinking… lolz.

Alright, im rather talkative today. Will add some more. It was really fun for me to learn these stages because I was being calculative with my children, although my kids were having different responses but they fall into the same spectrum. My eldest was no longer a baby at the age 4 while bunso was still my baby at age 6, and is to now… hihihi! Oh! Be wary of the rebellious age! OMG! Kuya was really at age 9. He stopped going to school and it was all mess up. My goodness, the horrors I felt during those times when I really have to fight harder so he can go up to next grade, glad it  was that time covid happened, life saving grace!

The general concept I embraced was that the 1st 7years in a child’s life is attachment. Learning this, oh! I took every moment by their side! Because these are the years where they are all over you. Go where ever we go. Hug them, kiss them, toss them, play with them, learn with them, read with them. Developing memories targeting the subconscious that even if they cant remember, a bond is already cemented in their hearts and their subconciousness that no one can take away. And even if they had amnesia, the familiar feeling will be there! All knowing time will come they will ditch you! Ouch! And yes! They’re at this stage now… Not really ditch but they already developed their own individuality so I am now trying to guide them in their choices in making decisions. Helping them figure out how to make decisions. Like money matters, they need to figure out how to spend a dollar. If not, they will be just spenders in the future. That’s teaching/guiding them to spend and save. Hmmm… really, knowing that they already have a personality of their own at 6 but honestly, they already have their own personality as they were still in the womb! Oh! That script in the movies or teleseries, oh! Those are just scripts and far from the reality that mothers/parents/guardians endure. Next stage, adolescence, oh! The rebellion stage! Of course, learning this is such a gift. Why? I learned to revolutionize rebellion in such a way I can still reach out to my kids that they’d listen. And right now, while rebelling, kuya is accepting responsibilities in claiming and submitting their modules. Of course there is a catch, I really have to make sure that this is just a task he can enjoy and learn, not letting him feel the burden of the responsibility, is something that can entice him and make him do this instead of retreating. There is really a difference, let him do the task voluntarily. And Oh! Im a happy mom! Really, its really a thorn plucked from my daily/weekly activities. Oh! Next, young adult stage! I still have to, umm, in the next articles in the far far years to go!

Now, you wanna sex it up at early age and be tied down to all these? Oh no! please grow up first. Life is full of surprises and having a child in the later years will be as fruitful. Take your time, this is not easy, believe me I haven't shared everything. There are still horrors that I haven't mentioned. It’s a long read, hope you like it. Appreciate you spending time, thank u. God bless

March 26, 2022
Images: pinterest

Let me share a reading on this.

https://tommonte.com/the-7-year-cycles-of-life/

The 7-Year Cycles of Life

AGES 0 to 7:   From Oneness with Mother to Growing Autonomy

AGES 7 TO 14: A Fight for, and Commitment To, Life

AGES 14 TO 21.  Wild Emotions, Raging Hormones, Sexuality

AGES 21 TO 28.  Play That Turns Toward Responsibility

AGES 28 TO 35.  The Body In Full Bloom   

AGES 35 TO 42.  Crisis and Questioning  

AGES 42 TO 49.  Soul Searching and Wonder

AGES 49 TO 56.  An Ever Growing Vision and Understanding of Life

AGES 56 TO 63.  The Crossroads: Mastery or Reevaluation.

AGES 63 TO 70.  A Time of Harvesting and Spreading the Wealth.  

AGES 7O AND BEYOND.  Reflection.