November 15, 2020
There are times in our life that we experience being alone. But some people assimilate being alone with loneliness, however, those two words are actually different. Loneliness is when you feel sad because you do not enjoy your own company; However, being alone simply means not having someone around.
Introverts like me love spending time to be alone. While extroverts dread it, it really depends on the individual. For some, loneliness seems to be a very hard feeling to feel and there is always a reason for this. I don't just enjoy being alone, I actually require it. And usually, I turn down party invitations and I prefer to curl up in bed with a good movie and snacks, books, or writing in my journal or articles. But when it comes to trips, you can count me in. I prefer going on trips to parties - I don't like the noise and the crowd.
People are asking why I like being alone. What is wrong with that? Since young, I never like going out just to visit my neighbor's or cousin's house to do chit-chat. Setting cynical topics that won't even benefit anyone of us. I know many who are like that. But for me, it's just a waste of time and I rather save my costly words for sensible conversations.
Someone even told me that my words are limited, my laugh and smile are expensive that they often saw the curve of my lips. Yes, they are expensive because I only express my real thoughts and feelings to persons who are true to me. I hate fake people. If I can only dump them like plastics on a trash bin, for sure I will be needing more bins.
If extroverts enjoy sensation-seeking, partying, and risk-taking, we introverts do not need the same level of excitement. That is too much for us. Of course, we want friends and be liked by others too, but these rewards do not seem to be tantalizing for us. To be honest, we find us more overwhelming than satisfying, so we seek out a lot of quiet time to recharge after a long day.
Many don't like the idea to be alone without being distracted. They rather text someone, scroll through Facebook, fall into Youtube black hole, or do something else to keep their mind busy than completely be alone with themselves. We should understand that being alone is the best time to relax and enjoy solitude, or, it's our choice to allow anxiety to overtake us.
Why do I like to be alone?
Simply because,
I am more comfortable with silence.
As I have mentioned earlier, I don’t actually feel an urge to make unnecessary comments to the conversations that don't bring stimulation or meaning. I rather enjoy the silence of nature that is why I like hiking, listen to good music, read books, write journals or articles, without being near trivial chit chat. By doing such things, I felt like I am not lonely, rather enjoying the moment of being alone.
People can call me aloof, but I am fine with it.
Being alone is my way to reconnect to the "real me". It seems like I have the freedom to be who I am and be comfortable in my own skin without feeling pressure to change. Living in this extraverted word is exhausting. Sometimes, it is nice to shut down for a while and do what I love without being judged by others. Many thought that introverts feel lonely. No, we are not. Believe me or not, being alone even makes us feel less lonely than feeling left out and misunderstood by extroverts. Sorry for the extroverts out there.
People call me too serious, minding every little aspect of my life, taking the simple problem seriously, and trying to solve it immediately. That is because introvert like me have a habit of internalizing problems. The end of the day is my time to empty my mind, to process my thoughts, and to problem-solve things that needed to be solved. I actually don't like going to bed with my head on fire or with so many worries, because I find it difficult to fall asleep. So as much as possible, I will try to solve any issues or problems at work or at home at the end of the day.
Once I find time to unwind at the end of the day, I typically reflect on daily episodes. Sometimes I need a way to release my thoughts in a healthy natural way. So that is the reason why I do blogging or expressing thoughts in another creative form like art.
Every time I can't express my thoughts, it seems like stress or a burden to me. I will really find a way to express it, or else, it will be accumulated in my mind which is not good and might lead to another depression. I have been there, so I don't want to go back to that horrible part of my life.
Of course, just because I tend to be introverted does not mean that I want to be alone all the time. Even the most introverted person also needs a support system and social connections. Once introverted people seek other people's attention or have the feeling to talk to others, that only means that we already have finished recharging our mental battery and want to use it.
Do you know that being alone is important to introvert's mental health?
Research says that, when introverts do not get enough solitary time, it can harm their mental health. Symptoms include:
Trouble sleeping or eating
Frequent colds
Headaches
Back pains
Allergies
Irritability
Difficulty concentrating and making a decision
Feeling trapped finding life meaningless
exhaustionFeeling disconnected from the usual self
I actually do not have any idea about these symptoms, until I have read an article about this matter. I sometimes have some of those symptoms, so that only means that I don't have enough alone time, especially during hectic schedules and the only thing I can do at the end of the day is to lie down on my bed and bid adieu to the toxic day.
For introverts out there, it is best to keep these symptoms in mind and often check in with yourself when you are not feeling good. Although it is easy to ruin everyday commitments that need us to always put smiles on our faces and accomplishments, health should never be set aside.
Always create time to prioritize your well-being. The world will not go and it can wait!
Written by: @Jane
Yeah I'm some kind of an introvert too