September 14, 2021
Have you ever fallen too hard?
I remembered when I was young, I was a curious cat and wanted to try new things. Being the only girl at home at that time makes me want to explore the boys' abode and try out boyish stuff. I wanted to be a captain of my ship, a conqueror of the Amazon river behind our house, lol. When the boys jump, I jump. When they run, I run. When they climb, I climb. And by the river, a huge tree was found standing tall and proud, yet, with tiny branches on its barks.
When there were no eyes at sight, I climbed up the tree like a monkey hugging its trunk tightly and stepping on its barks cautiously. But unfortunate things do happen especially to a curious cat. One reach gone wrong when I held a fragile branch. A moment later I found myself falling onto the ground and a loud crash was heard on that silent afternoon but I was fortunate to be alone behind our home. The back of my torso hit the ground hardly, my heart stopped from pacing for a moment and I was out of breath. I thought I'd die at that moment but I gasped for air silently as I didn't want to grab others' attention. Or else, I'll be more dead on the iron fist of my strict father.
I wept silently behind our house and calm myself before turning around, composed back my aching body, and faced my family again. As if nothing happened and from the ground where my body fell, I picked up the lessons and memories that are indelible up to this moment. As if I fall like a feather.
It's a literal story of falling too hard, yet, I able to get up silently without breaking and shattering into pieces. And ever since that painful moment, I never tried climbing a tree again. After all, I realized that being a curious cat wasn't fun at all and climbing a tree is risky for a kid. But what matters most was I learned how to get back again silently without shattering into pieces physically and emotionally.
When it comes to life, there are times that we fall too hard due to our careless acts, abrupt decisions, irrational thoughts, and weak emotional and physical aspects. We are only humans and not robots. We fall, and when it happens, we need time to heal the wound caused by the fall. Physical fall can be easier to handle and the visible wound is easier to heal, but what is more painful is the emotional fall.
The wound of emotional fall is invisible and they cut so much deeper and can even make us broken. This usually happens to people who suffered from too much pain and suffering. Those who are in too much grief and can not move on from the death of loved ones. And those who fall deeply in love but have been shattered into pieces like unfixable broken glass.
This is taking me down memory lane when I first experienced a painful breakup. Too much love was invested but in the end, I did not get anything in return. I felt like the universe dumped me and it went against my will. I was down shedding tears with a grieving heart and wounded soul and the fall caused deeper cuts that took a very long time to recover, to mend the broken heart. But I stood back and fixed the broken piece in me with the help of the people who dearly love me. With them, I step into a new horizon confidently and strongly. I face the crowd again with the learned lessons in my mind and carry them along with me up to this current journey.
Another memory came to mind when my little brother died. It wasn't me who experienced a painful emotional fall, but my mother. The aftermath was full of sorrow, and I saw her weeping every day when touching my little brother's stuff. Tears were rolling down her face while washing his linens and clothes. I was too young to feel the same emotional pain, but after that incident, I feared death as it was my first time seeing a dead body in front of me. And while witnessing my mother whimpering like an ill cat every day consecutively, a black hole of sadness was forming inside me. And I fell into it. Perhaps, I have been dragged down to the black hole of sadness due to my mother's sorrow because we are emotionally connected as a family.
This kind of emotional fall is truly hurting and like shattered glass that can cut your fingers once you pick up the shards. It takes time to collect them all and it is hard to just dump them somewhere else because they might cause tribulation to others. The pain will cut you deeper and deeper until you finally give up on holding it, and realize that it's not worth holding and keeping. You'll learn how to stand up again and throw the sharp shards properly without hurting yourself and others so badly.
I was inspired to write this when I came across Clive Blake's poem about Fall Like A Feather.
Many things cause our fall and oftentimes they are caused by other people around us. Some will push us down and will even kick and whip us until we shed tears and get wounded. But we should learn how to bounce back like a ball unaffected. We might hit the hard ground and walls while bouncing back, but let's make sure to land successfully with our two feet on the ground, with a smile on our faces, and heads high up full of hope.
They will dampen our spirits that will turn our emotions to be clouded by thick dark clouds. But let's shove them away, strengthen our faith because the sun will always rise to lighten our way, and God always reaches out his hand to help us surpass those thick dark clouds.
We may fall along the course of our journey and some people will push us down. We have to bend like a willow and let the wind pass through - the people that cause our fall, the pain, sorrow, difficulties - and brace ourselves for the unexpected hardships.
Above all, we can grow silently like a seed into a beautiful and strong tree, and let's not allow the destruction of the world to make our lives chaotic and disastrous. We should not be afraid to fall, rather, be brave like a raindrop.
We might become frayed, but we have to pull ourselves again and fix the broken parts that hit the ground so hard. We can bounce back, fight, and be able to bend, but with hearts that remain unscathed and clean despite falling on the dirty ground.
Let's fall like a feather, light, unbreakable, and able to pull ourselves together again.
Thanks for reading.
Fall seven times stand up eight ♥️ I am inspired of how brave you are , i wish am too 😞