@marblely

@marblely 19 December 2021

It elates the heart to wake up to a little bit sunshine today after days of rain. Although I like the rain, when it rains beyond normal, when the rivers, water and drainage systems are not able to cope, it gets worrying. The news have reported flood devastation across cities and towns. Here’s hoping that the water subsides soon for those affected.

@marblely 13 December 2021

13 December 2021: Learn Dear Diary, Time flew by again. It felt like just recently I wrote to you but when I checked the dates again, it was more than a week ago. I was just telling myself the other day that I must not neglect you but I did. My bad. I am not going to apologize because I am doing that a little too often. I just need to take action. You may be sick and bored of me for repeating this stance too. So, I will not apologize. You may also be wondering what am I rambling away here. Just let me ramble a bit as I type away my thoughts on my current favourite keyboard. Time flies by when we are preoccupied with things to do, doesn’t it? Do you notice that? When we are in need of more time, it is when it feels like there is not enough time. And when we have so much time in hand, when we are not busy, when we are not doing much or when we do not feel like doing much, that is when time crawls. Why is that? I sometimes tell myself that the world is spinning a bit too fast but is it really so? I think it is just a figment of my imagination. I have been thinking quite a bit, staring at numbers and information that I have been assigned to do something about, some of which I am still thinking about what can be done and what should be done. It is not as simple as I thought it would be. There is just so much to learn everyday if we choose to. I reflected a bit too about some of my previous jobs. One of them was somewhat similar to a data entry job. We key in the inputs and we generate the outputs while trying to give sense of the output to the receiving end by writing a report about it. It came to a point that it became a little mundane. The inputs may be different but the work itself if we think about it very simply, was pretty much the same. One of my juniors became quite annoyed after a year of doing this job. She felt it was stupid because it felt as though there was no purpose. I spoke to her and asked her to think of it differently, to not be sucked into the job for namesake, to think beyond the job and what it can give. There are many areas of improvement that we can discover if we just give it some thought. When we think about it deeper, if we just give more thought to it, the job description itself was mundane but there were many things that we could do to add more color and life to it. I think every job in this world has some form of mundanity in it. We just got to find that extra something to keep going and keep ourselves excited while sharpening our own saw. We could think of what else we could do to make things more efficient, we could create new tools, think of additional service offerings. We learn how to manage expectations and manage behaviour, our own and others. We learn to manage time and prioritize accordingly. There is just so much we could learn from it. When we start to think about it, the possibilities are endless. If we do not restrain our mind and constrain our thoughts, there are many things that we can do in addition to the job that we have been assigned to do, if it starts becoming mundane that is. If we are able to find excitement in all of its mundanity, then we are good. We are self-sufficient in keeping ourselves happy and in motivating ourselves to learn everyday in every single thing that we are faced with and are experiencing. I personally think it is important to change our mindset to a learning one if ever we feel we are at a stumbling block of a groundhog day.

@marblely 13 December 2021

A trip to a fish shop is always interesting and exciting. We get to see and learn about different kinds of fishies, most of which I have not seen or heard before. The display of shapes and colors are simply beautiful. This is added with the calming sounds of water flowing all around the space which brings a certain degree of therapeutic healing from a week of busy thoughts to the mind.

@marblely 3 December 2021

3 December 2021 3 December 2021 Dear Diary,  I am back today. I decided that I must make time to write to you every few days. Like Yoda says, "Do or do not. There is no try.". How very true. When we say that we will try, it brings a meaning that we are not entirely giving it our best, doesn’t it? I don’t know. To me, sometimes I say try because I do not want to give myself false hope, but I ask myself after that, am I shortchanging the situation by not giving it my best shot? Hmmm. These two days have been rather cloudy. I have wanted to go for a swim before I start work but the sky has been gray and gloomy. This morning, it drizzled too. At first, I wondered why the sky looked so blurry as if there was a layer of tulle net covering it. Then it dawned on me that it was a very light drizzle, the fine droplets that looked misty almost, as though they were floating all around the sky. Droplets are so light and hardly make any sound as they touch the ground or surface. How odd it has been. Just the day before, it was scorching hot. Even the wind carried heat in its breath. The weather changes quite rapidly these days and it scares me sometimes. There were a couple of times that I wished it snowed here. I live in a tropical country where snow is quite impossible. But if truly one day it snows here, it may not be a good sign. Mother nature works its way through things and when it shows its total opposites, we need to worry about the implications that it brings. I have been sitting in front of my laptop during the day and moving around as and when I feel like it, when there is no online meeting, but you know what, I think I need a swim. I am not moving enough, and it is slowly getting to me that I don’t feel as fit as I did. Well, not to say I was fit but slightly fitter than how I feel now. Sitting in front and typing, staring at the slides or document or websites reading, it ain’t healthy. How have you been dear? Have the pages been good to you? Has the ink been good to you? I quite enjoy typing here and I do not miss writing on you with a pen, come to think of it. I remembered how I used to write to you, paragraphs after paragraphs. Oh, it wasn’t paragraphs, was it? It was just one big paragraph. I wasn’t really into paragraphs those days. I didn’t really care about them, as long as my thoughts keep flowing and flowing, transferred to you through my fingers and hand. I could write quite fast and fluently back then but nowadays, my keyboard is my pen. Nowadays, whenever I need to write with a pen, my fingers feel awkward, as though the muscles have stiffened. It is quite odd really, but I don’t blame them. Writing, just like any form of physical activity, requires practice to loosen the muscles and to make the actions more fluid. And that reminds me that I need to workout more. My current workout schedule is just Saturdays and Sundays because then, I don’t feel as tired as I do on weekdays. Going to bed after midnight and waking up at six-ish everyday does take a toll on you. I could sleep earlier, come to think of it but by the time I am done with dinner and shower, it is almost midnight. Yes, it is something that requires some effort to change and make it better for myself. Oh, the weekend is here, aaah… I look forward to it. Previously, my weekdays and weekends are pretty much the same so I forget which day it is but nowadays, these two sets of days are very clear, and the weekends are now very welcomed. I am boiling some leftover soup from the other day (which has bits of vegetables and bulbs such as okra, brinjal, lettuce, cabbage, carrot, tomato, potato, onion with a variety of fish, squid and crab balls) for dinner now. We’ll be having it with rice noodles. Oh, and I added hard boiled eggs in there too. A hearty warm meal for a cloudy day (I’ll skip the gloomy part for now). Till the next time my dear. I will type to you again.

@marblely 30 November 2021

30 November 2021 Dear Diary,  It’s been a long while since I wrote to you. I apologize. I have neglected you for so long. I used to write to you every night when I was in school and quite often when I was in college. But when I started working, it sucked the life out of me literally and I allowed it. My bad. I realized that after some years through. At the beginning, it was in the name of learning but after some time, it was pure stupidity. In the midst of it all, I forgot about you. How heartless of me to forget the one who was with me all the time when I was happy or sad, through thick and thin, allowing me to pen my deepest thoughts and darkest secrets. Oh wait, I think I wrote (or rather, type to you - advancement of technology, tsk tsk) to you a couple of months ago about some dream I had or was it something from the past, I can’t remember now. But now that I think about it, all those memories from school and college seemed so small and trivial nowadays compared to all the experiences that I have collected over the years. Maybe someday, I will tell you about it. It will be some form of going back into time. I hope to come back to you every now and then whenever I can. You know what, I must make time for you and I will (I hope). Let me skip through all the years that have passed and give you a quick one for now, specifically on this online training that I have gone through. To begin with, very recently, about a few weeks ago, I was enrolled into a two weeks intensive online training. I thought it would be a breeze, you know, just log on and listen to the presenter. How hard can it be right? But boy was I wrong. It wasn’t easy staring at the laptop screen for 8 hours everyday including weekends and trying to make sense of the materials that were presented to us, materials that were totally new and foreign which I had no prior knowledge of. I should be excited and I was quite frankly. Interesting shouldn’t it be? To learn something brand new, to start something fresh. At first I was all pumped up for the training after being dormant for quite some time. But after two days of this, my mind started to doze off during the class and I have to tell you, it was rather embarrassing. Maybe it was age, maybe it was the content, maybe it was the presenter themselves with content so dry and technical. But luckily, being in an online training meant I was able to reposition the camera to a point that I can sort of hide in the shadows. What started off as a simple thought of just joining the training and learning whatever that can be absorbed by the little brain became quite real when there were assignments after assignments, quizzes after quizzes, exercises after exercises and a final presentation at the end of it. It was also then, I realized how fast time flies. After every hour of the training, they would give a five minutes break. That five minutes zoomed by so fast that I couldn’t even comprehend how fast it was. When lunch time came, it was an hour of it and I looked so much forward to it, But I have never realized how short an hour can be for a meal, especially when you needed to track it. With a blink of an eye, twenty minutes passed into prep time and the remaining time was left for eating. I had to leave the dishes for later some days too, depending on what I ate. I didn’t quite enjoy that part. I have started to miss my dormant days. Even so, it wasn’t truly dormant. I was dormant from work that is, but I was quite busy with other stuffs which I quite enjoy. Just that, I wasn’t able to earn as fast and as much as I’d like. Now, I must re-prioritize my time and a couple of my favourite things to do had to take a back seat. My current consolation is that I am getting paid for the work or whatever it is that I am needed to do, and I look forward to that at the end of every month. Sometimes, despite it all, a monthly paycheck is a good thing. But I first need to figure out what it is that I need to do or expected to do. That may not be  fun but I suppose I can try to make it fun. I just hope that I do not sacrifice the things that matter to me most. The good thing is that I am aware and I am trying to work out something to make sure that I don’t. If it starts to eat into me, my family and my well being, I will have to make a decision, don’t I? Oh, how I wish you can speak to me. Then, the next question is, is all that I am doing now worth it? It will be a balance that I will need to strike and I think writing to you today is the beginning of my path towards finding that balance that I have sort of lost in the past few months, especially so now with this new adventure that I am venturing into. What do you think?

@marblely 3 November 2021

Keeping hopes low Life can be funny sometimes. The more we want something, the harder it was to get what we want or the more we expect that we would achieve something, the more we won’t. It doesn’t happen always but I can say almost always. It happened enough number of times on things that matter to me, to cause me enough heartaches, pain and disappointments, for me to realize that it is what it is. When it first happened, I didn’t understand. I was young and naïve but as I grew older, I started to think of this as a lesson to be learnt - to not be overly confident, to not be arrogant, to be grateful with what we have and to be humble in each of our actions. In exams or in competitions, over confidence can fail us. We may get complacent, we may slack, make careless mistakes, we may end up checking our answers less, thinking we’ve got the answers, become lazy and finally, we end up failing. Many times, whenever I hope for something, working towards something and somewhat expect I will get it, most times, I don’t. I would end up getting disappointed and feeling like crap at the end of it. Over time, when I was faced with similar situations, not getting what I hoped for or expected, I learnt to hope and expect less because the pain was lesser that way. When I first started off writing, there were articles that I spent a lot of time in, researching, taking photos, drafting and checking, hoping or usually expecting a good earning. But the articles ended up with a measly amount or none at all. It was an utter disappointment but there was no written contract that we would get a good earning for every good article. Besides, different people has different level of appreciation on any form of creativity work, writing is one of them. Sometimes, we console ourselves and cut ourselves some slack when it happens once, maybe twice but if it happens again for the third time, we would question the system, not so much ourselves and most probably quit altogether. Then, when I lower my expectations, lower my hope, reprioritize the purpose of doing what I do, if or when I do not get what it is that would have been expected or hoped for, it works much better for my mind, body and soul. I would have less stress, I think about it less and I just do things for the fun of it. You know the whole ‘enjoy the journey, not the destination’ saying. I have to agree that it works much better for my overall well being. But to say that we should not hope or expect at all, it wouldn’t make much sense especially when it means something to us. Realistically, to not have any expectation or hope is not feasible. Lowering them is feasible. When we expect something after putting in an effort or we hope for it, if we get what we expect and hope for, we will be all happy and jolly. But if or when we don’t, the intensity of disappointment that envelopes our emotion to a point of potential illness that sometimes have no cure for. The only way to cure is to revamp, restart or flush it all out or have a major overhaul of the way we think and what we think. It is not easy but I feel that it is something needed to be tried instead of keeping it all inside. But what if it is an expectation from others? It is not easy but we will need to manage it and overcome that expectation. It is always a question of why do we do what we do and if it is something we need to answer to ourselves, not to others because we are the ones to live with it, not others. People can tell what they want about what they expect from us but in the end, the very bottom line of things really comes back to what we really want at the end of the day. If expectation and hope is low, there will be less heartache, less disappointment and lesser time will be needed to heal which means, we can move forward faster, sulk a little lesser, complain less and refocus.

@marblely 31 October 2021

What is the point? “What is the point of folding them if we are going to wear them again tomorrow or in the next few days?” a child asked his mom when she asked him to fold the laundry. “Well, if you are okay with wrinkled clothes, if you are okay with rummaging through the stash of laundry in the basket every morning to find the clothes that you want to wear and then be late for school, then, don’t fold.” The mother answered casually. The child thought for a while about what his mother said and went on to folding the laundry. I have been thinking for quite a bit about the things that I do. Is there a point? What do I learn from it? Do I feel happy, do I gain anything in any kind? I remembered some years back, as I was mopping the floor, I stopped for a bit to check the notifications on my phone. It was some latest feed by my connections on a social media platform. I clicked on them and scrolled down one feed after another. Before I knew it, thirty minutes passed just like that and I was surprised at how fast time flew by without me realizing it. I was most appalled by the fact that I have wasted that thirty minutes just scrolling through people’s lives, my supposedly connections, most of whom I was no longer in touch with and junk news that were on my feed. What was the point of it all? There was no point really when it had nothing to do with me. What good did it do to me, browsing through people’s lives. If the person was important to me and if I am important to them, we would have messaged or called each other to share news about our lives. Since then, I stopped browsing through the social media platforms because I didn’t think there was a point to it and I felt it was a waste of time. My time was better spent on things that were more fruitful and productive, or calling friends and family who truly matter. Then, there was writing, whether it was here or anywhere. Is there a point to it?  As a teenager growing up, I used to write diaries, you know the whole “Dear diary….” . Not everyday but whenever something “major” happened in my life. It was my channel to release my thoughts, to pen them down in the way that I enjoyed writing them or just to rant my heart out. Today, it was writing to earn a little but what if or when I do not earn? I thought for a bit these couple of days and my conclusion was yes, there was a point to it for the very same reasons as writing my diary. It would have been better if there was earning and as human nature, I would look for alternatives to earn but either way, I felt there was a point to it even. Earning would have been an additional motivation. If I do, for the slightest bit that was given, I am grateful. I may not write as often as I did, but I still enjoy this bit of pastime. Sometimes, it is not a pastime, but it is a necessity to release the inner thoughts that has been shelved for a long while, waiting for a time to be exhumed and to fulfill my desire to type on the keyboard. I love keyboards and I love the feeling of keys on my fingers when they get tapped, and the sounds of the tapping keys. Call me crazy but tapping on keyboard makes me happy but I have to admit, I am lacking on the engagement part, just because the feeling has changed and it is no longer the same as before when I first joined any writing platforms. People changed, the attitude changed, the mood changed and I am still wondering the point of it Cleaning is the other thing that I have been thinking about and am still thinking about on a daily basis. What is the point of cleaning if something cleaned will always get dusty and dirty again. For clothes and things that we use on a daily basis, there is a point. We get to use them at least with an ease of mind, knowing they are clean and they smell nice. For dust, my nose and skin are happier knowing that the surfaces are of less dust even for just a day. I sneeze less and I lessen my allergies wherever possible. I strive to have a better life for myself and I will make effort to make that happen, and we all should. In things I no longer find a point of doing, I stop doing basically, in time.

@marblely 20 October 2021

Life can sometimes be like a jigsaw puzzle. If you find the piece you are looking for and find the place it is suppose to be at, when things go as planned, the picture would turn out as it should. But if there is a missing piece, you can only keep looking for it and it will remain a hole until you find it or if you make another piece by some form of creativity to replace it.

@marblely 18 October 2021

Dashed She sat there waiting as patiently as she could. There was nothing she could do more except to sit and wait for the results. Anxious and worried with all sorts of thoughts racing through the little mind of hers.  Little was what she thought of her mind. Nothing much there except worrying thoughts every single day. She felt tired having these thoughts but it was hard not to think about it when she has this condition. A condition with no cure but she had been reading and researching of natural remedies. It was said that antioxidants and good fats are good. She made it a goal to try, by adding as much antioxidants and as much good fat into her diet,  as much as she could afford to beat this. The waiting area felt cold and unforgiving. Two hours ago, a nurse had pumped out some blood from her and sent to the lab. “Just wait outside and the results should be out within an hour or two. They will call your queue number when it is ready.” And waited she did. Since she was told that she had the condition, she had been reading up on articles online and watching videos, whether or not the remedies work, it was worth a try, she thought. For the past few weeks, she had been on a regimented diet. No dairy, no junk food, no sugary food, no outside food, no processed food. She cooked her own dinner, which consisted of fresh vegetables, fresh fish and poultry. Breakfast was mostly fresh fruits with oats. At the grocer, she chose papayas, bananas and apples. The fruits interchanged daily, for a bit of variety. She couldn’t eat oats bland, and so she would add all sorts of seeds and a small dash of honey, not too much sweetness there, just slight in a bowl. She added raisins too and she enjoyed eating the seeds. They made her happy. When it came to snacks, she ate nuts and dried cranberries. Walnuts, pecan nuts, almonds. They do make a wonderful snack when eaten together. Occasionally, she bought some avocados for good fat. They were expensive and she could only afford to have them once or twice a week. It did burn a little hole but these were foods she couldn’t be stingy about. She needed to see a difference, a positive difference. It had to work. She had been pumped up all month doing this because she had a glimmer of hope that it would work. But she had her doubts and fears, would these few weeks of good diet beat the many years of harmful food intake? She hoped it would and that was why she was doing this. She needed to know that it worked, she needed that hope to continue living and she prayed everyday. At the waiting room, she glanced up to the notification board each time the bell rung to check if it was her turn. After almost two hours, she finally saw her queue number displayed on the screen for her to go into the doctor’s room. She walked quickly, knocked on the door and opened the knob. She looked at the doctor’s face, to see a positive signal but there was none. Instead, she looked quite glum. That did not look good. She took her seat, designated for patients and waited for the news. The doctor flipped the report on the table and frowned. “The numbers don’t look good dear”. She stared at the doctor with disbelief. How could that be? Her heart crushed. Her hopes dashed, shattered. All the effort she had put in was not good enough. Nothing worked and she was devastated. For the past few weeks, she was pumped up to try all that she could and she had something to look forward to, a goal to achieve. But seeing nothing worked, she wondered to herself, what would she do now?

@marblely 13 October 2021

At first glance, I thought it was a cockroach and I was ready to smack it flat. But the little fella in the kitchen sink had a different colour than the usual dark brown cockroaches that I fear. Bright orange and black stripes that looked almost like a ladybug or a bee. I stopped myself and took my phone instead to snap photos. But it still looks like a cockroach though. I let it go.

@marblely 10 October 2021

Nothing is truly permanent When I started working after college, I was told by the employer that there were basically two kinds of employment in the company. One was as contract hires, another was as regular hires. It was the first time my colleagues and I heard the term “regular” and we wondered why did the company chose to use “regular” instead of “permanent”. In school, in college, we have always thought back then, there were only contract hires and permanent hires. Wasn’t that the term people usually use, that was if we were looking for a contract job or a permanent job? Along the way, we found out the hard truth that there is no such thing as permanent hires because as an employee in any company, we are disposable. We are just a number, a statistic. In the company’s financial and business reports, we are part of a headcount cost. Every year, the company decides who should stay and who should go, and with that, how many new people they should hire. Every year, I see people come and people go, by the wish of the company. Permanent hire seems such a facade at the end of the day, especially so today with automation being the key mode of operation in most companies seeking to reduce cost. Whenever I heard people proudly claimed that they were permanent hires, I clenched my teeth, so wanting to tell them the sad truth. There is no such thing as a permanent hire. We can be let go as and when they please, even if we sacrificed our lives for the work that we do. Loyalty doesn’t pay. Money and numbers matter more than anything else. It is the same with any earnings that we get. What we get today, what we have achieved today will not be forever. Things can happen tomorrow and everything may come to an end, just like that. Life can end just like that and most times, there is nothing we can do about it. Then I thought, hey, aren’t some things permanent. like the seemingly painful inking of tattoos? The process is painful, inking the skin dot by dot, line by line to a point of bleeding during the sometimes seemingly gruesome process whenever I watch “Miami Ink”. I thought it was, until I saw and read that tattoos can be removed through laser. There are natural methods too such as using salt, honey, lemon or aloe vera which can be found online. Some tattoos can be removed very cleanly from the skin while some may still leave some light stains or scar. It then brings me to scars and stains. They are quite permanent right? Not really either. Scars can now be removed by medication or some natural method too. There are creams that are available over the counter to lessen the effects of scars, even old scars. And even if one argues about mental scars or painful memories of the past, over time, the scar can be less deep if we choose to do something about it, to heal, if we choose to forgive and forget. We may not forget entirely but the effect of it on us, can be lessened if we let it. Death is one. Painful memories of losing someone, at that point in time may seem like forever, but after time passes, the pain lessens. I guess, the bottom line is, I think nothing is truly permanent if it is something beyond our control, or if it something within our control and we choose to do something about it, or if it is something that can be done about it, things are not truly permanent after all. Hey, even permanent markers, supposedly said to be permanent, can still be removed using alcohol or hand sanitizer.

@marblely 4 October 2021

The silent giver He munched his breakfast cereal topped with some pumpkin seeds and fresh strawberries, quietly and quickly. The cereal had only been soaked in cold milk for just a short while because he liked them still crunchy. He didn’t like his cereal soggy and always tried to finish them before they reach that state of mushiness. Plus, he liked his milk cold too. It refreshed him as he took each bite. Today, the morning felt colder than usual. It rained quite heavily a few hours earlier and he could still hear light raindrops as they landed on the windows. Although he welcomed the rain while he was comfortably home but he couldn’t help but think about those who were not. There were a few extra bags today and he made sure he bought a little more for each item because he noticed last week that there was a new family who arrived.  He packed in some raincoats too in every bag as the days were getting wetter with the rainy season approaching. But who knew about weather these days; which was getting more erratic. Climate change was real and there was no point denying it anymore. Stupid politicians. After breakfast, he washed his bowl before setting it to dry on the rack. The morning was still dark but it was a good time to leave. He got ready, and moved the bags into his car. He started the engine, closed the door and reversed the car. Quietly, he locked the gate and drove his car out to the main road from his housing area. The timing would be just right, dropping by before he drove to work. The road was wet and in some places, flooded too. He thought about the families in the village. It was a new village, built by volunteers early this year to help those who lost their jobs, their homes during the pandemic due to unpaid loans. The houses were simple and they could only cater for a few families, chosen by the committee based on a first come, first served basis. On the day they opened the registration, it was closed within ten minutes due to overwhelming applications. Many people needed help but they could only help that many. He got to know about the village from two of the volunteers whom he got to know from a friendly game of football. They mentioned that it was hard to sustain without help from the public donations. While they helped the breadwinners find jobs, the families still needed to go through each day with food and basic necessities. He asked about the families there, the number of, their needs and that night, when he got back, he started planning. Every week, he would arrange a day to deliver a bag of basic necessities such as rice, flour, eggs, fresh vegetables and fruits, some canned food for the families to get by. Occasionally, he would add sauces, toothpaste, toothbrush, diapers, sanitary pads and detergent. He tried to be as discreet as possible and would leave the bags at their doorsteps before sunrise on his way to work. He left no note, just the bag of items. He felt there was no need to broadcast or to tell anyone because it was his personal wish to help and he was not asking for anything in return. There was a level of insincerity when one boasts about the help they give; he felt and that made him questioned the actual intent of the person helping in the first place. Sometimes, his volunteer friends gave updates about the families were happy and grateful beyond words to see bags of food stuffs and toiletries left at their doorsteps by an unknown person, and that itself was enough for him.

@marblely 30 September 2021

Down memory lane......Growing up, comic books such as this one, Garfield and The Archies were my main sources of entertainment. And I could re-read them a couple of times. The story lines were witty and simple too. Somehow I prefer comic books to watching the cartoon for Garfield, it reads better and I just can't help laughing. I just re-read this one and I laughed again. They never grow old!

@marblely 29 September 2021

Breaking it down A high pile of dishes in the kitchen sink is never a sight to behold. In fact, it is a nerve wrecking sight sometimes. It makes me annoyed and frustrated, knowing the amount of washing that needs to be done until I learnt to break it down. I would first tackle the non-greasy or less greasy dishes. Less soap is needed and less work is needed. Once that is done, I can then move on to the greasier dishes and kitchen utensils, the kind that could easily come off with a good amount of soap, not the stubborn ones. When it comes to the stubborn, greasy dishes and utensils, a paper kitchen towel is used first, to wipe off the greasy stains before I start washing them with water and soap. I find this method halves the time, soap and water that are usually required. During cooking time, I feel happier when I divide the cleaning. I dislike piling up the pots and pans that I use. I do not enjoy having the sink to be covered with soiled utensils. I especially do not find joy in taking too much time washing up after every cook and to be thinking about cleaning while I eat. Therefore, I wash as I cook, before I start eating, just so that I can have a fairly peaceful meal knowing that the big chunk of utensils have been washed. This method also helps as my kitchen does not have that much drying space available. When I am enjoying my meal, the utensils are drying partially and by the time I am done with my meal, I will be able to wipe them dry and store them aside to give space for the newly washed dishes. Some may say that we use more water when we keep washing. But I found that when I break it down, the cleaning is actually easier with less soap and water used. It is faster too as I do not need to stand too long to finish up the washing. I guess it is much the same with life, isn’t it? When dishes pile up, it is similar to having problems and work pile up. If we leave them to pile up, they would keep piling up, sometimes so high to a point of unsolvable. Mathematics or chemistry or programming, where possible, when broken down into manageable, chew-able, digest-able sections, understandable sections, somehow make it easier to be solved. It applies to many things that we do, come to think of it. For example, jigsaw puzzles. I remembered the first time I attempted a thousand pieces jigsaw puzzle, it took me months to complete. It required a lot of patience and eye power to work on it. It didn’t help that it was scenery with different shades of greens and blues. Along the way, I learnt some tricks that when we break it down, dividing the pieces into similar colors, shades and shapes, and working the four corners or border first, it makes everything a whole lot easier.  As and when a section is completed, the automatic motivation that comes with it kept me going. It works similarly with Lego too. In cases when answers and solutions are needed whether in exam or at work, I try to work on the easier ones first before attempting the more challenging ones. I break them down and divide them according to the amount of time needed to research and reply. By completing the easier ones, it motivates the little mind and heart to work on the rest, knowing that time has been saved from the easier questions. It truly helps or more like it gives a peace of mind that at least some has been completed and solved. More time can then be given to work on the harder ones. If at the very moment we see the problems or work, and we start working on them, breaking it down where possible, it helps clear the mind, sort the mind, giving it some space to be a little free-er and with it comes a happier heart to continue to work on the rest of the remaining work after having seen the parts that have been solved or completed.

@marblely 21 September 2021

Setting reminders One of my frustrations these days is my forgetfulness and short memory span. I would think about something and the next second, literally the very next second, I would forget about it until it was too late. Just today, the battery in my car key was showing a warning sign of low battery. I was reminded that I needed to change the battery. I was thinking about it as I was closed the car door. But I totally forgot about it until the next few days after that. I drove my car, locked it, went to work and when I came back to my car, I couldn’t open the door. The door wouldn’t beep. It was just silent. I pressed the button, nothing and that was when it crossed my mind, darn, the battery! Luckily, I was in the city with shops nearby and I went to the nearest watch shop to ask for a new battery change. But there was a risk too, because not every battery change works. Sometimes, the key stops functioning altogether, if the key was not opened or closed in the correct manner. It was a good walk that day when I walked a distance to my car from the office, to find out the battery died. I walked to the nearest watch shop I could remember, which was also a distance away. Then, I walked back to my car after that, hoping and praying the battery change works. “Beep beep” as I pressed the button. Phew! I started thinking what would have happened if this battery died while I was far from any shop or if the shops were closed. I wouldn’t want to imagine the trouble that would have been to be stuck. Lesson learnt…. Whenever I think about something, I must either do it or if I am not able to do it, I must set an alarm to remind me of the task. Alarms or reminders on the phone works, little stick-it-notes on the laptop or workstation work wonders too. For example, in this case of the dead battery, I should have set an alarm to remind myself to change the moment I got home. We usually buy a couple of the spare batteries to keep. The spare batteries are cheap compared to changing it at the shop where they charge extra for labour. I have the usual alarms to wake up and nowadays, I have multiple alarms and reminders to remind me of the many tasks. Tasks as simple as turning off the hot water switch or check to make sure that the lights and fans are off before going to bed or even a reminder to eat my vitamins at a specific time. It helps to stick to the same timing and the moment the alarm rings, it literally rings a bell on what is the pending task. It is the same when it comes to thoughts. When I think about someone whom I have not contacted a long time and when the thought of catching up with them comes by, I would either call there and then or set an alarm to call at a later time. There are also instances when I have thoughts on what to type to reply emails or write articles. If I am near my laptop, I would type whatever that comes to mind and save as draft. If I only have my phone, I would type it out too and save it as draft, and set an alarm to remind myself that I have an email to reply to or an article to finish writing. It works and while I have many alarms and beautiful sounds ringing everyday, I am thankful and glad that we have this technology to help me through my absentmindedness.

@marblely 17 September 2021

It is a mood thing It is true when they say it is a mood thing. Mood, generally defined as a temporary feeling or state of mind, or the way we feel at a point in time or a period of time. But mood is something that can change internally or externally and it can change within a split second. Mood can last a short period of time and it can prolong too for a long period of time. Mood can be expressed in many ways. I express mine by saying that I am in the mood to do something or I am not in the mood to do something. I get up in the morning everyday, watch as the sun rises and shines brightly bringing warmth and light. But on some days, sluggishness and moodlessness takes over and I would feel totally unmotivated to do anything. The thing that I am glad for, is that I have my routines to push me to work through the day. Routines do help in bringing some sanity and productivity to an otherwise slow and stagnant day. When I was younger, I used to think that it was childish to be moody or to have mood swings. I did not understand how anyone could have his or her mood change just like that. Guess what? As I got older, I understand that it is sometimes not a choice, especially when hormones, environment, mental state come into play. When all these factors are all rolled into one, it is hard to separate what is the actual cause of a negative mood thing. It is hard to define and the only way to snap out of it is to tell ourselves to snap out of it. Sometimes it helps to slowly coax and push ourselves out of the negative mood and into a positive one, although it doesn’t work all the time. If it is a positive mood, I welcome it everyday. A positive mood to do the things that have been planned or not planned and a positive mood to get into the mood to try new things or venture into new horizons. I like it when positive mood visits me and I appreciate the mood that enables me to do many things. But when the negative mood kicks in, it feels totally uncool. I usually call it a blegh moment of moodlessness. I can have all the time in the world, but when I am not in the mood, nothing gets done. I would surf mindlessly, scrolling and scrolling with no direction, after which I would wonder what was I doing. But when it comes to obligations and responsibilities, even when I am not in the mood, I push myself to get things done because it is an obligation and a responsibility that I need to fulfill. It would be irresponsible to use mood as an excuse for not carrying out my duties and obligations. It is tiring when the negative mood kicks in. Sometimes, when I get up in the morning, I feel good and happy, in the mood to do the things I wanted to do. I would plan my day and start going through the motions. Then, an unwelcoming phone call comes and it changes everything, Within a split second, I no longer have the mood to do the things I planned earlier and if I am not able to get pass the mood thing, I can’t help but think that my day was totally wasted. If I was in the mood to do nothing, I would then feel happy not doing anything. There were days that I have ideas to write while I work my chores. A title would suddenly pop into my mind and I would think out loud what the content would be. Then, I would walk to and fro my laptop, type a little in between my mopping or dish washing and keep doing that until nothing else comes to mind. But once I am done with my chores, when I finally have the time to sit down and really type it all out, I can only stare at the screen blankly with the cursor blinking at its space, and words just wouldn’t want to flow. How odd can that be and why is that? If it is not a mood thing, I do not know what it is.

@marblely 16 September 2021

Once I participated in a drawing contest, and the theme was to draw something scary versus something cute. Somehow, I chose to draw these two, an angry angler fish, inspired by Finding Nemo, and a cute chubby sun catfish which I currently have in my aquarium. The fun in drawing with pencils. I like it that they are easily corrected :D

@marblely 14 September 2021

Kelsie “Look at that cute girl, so bubbly and chatty. She is the same age as you. Why can’t you be like her?” Kelsie remembered her mother chiding when she was younger. Her mother’s glare and the stare always gave her shivers. Kelsie had no answers. She didn’t know why she was not like the rest of the kids that her mother seemed to like. All she could do was to keep quiet and to cry within first before crying to herself in bed, talking to her teddy bears which her father bought for her. She always found ***comfort*** talking to them. At the age of six, when Kelsie started to understand things, she realized how she was often compared to other kids her age. It could be anyone her mother knew; her cousins, her mother’s friends’ kids, her friends and Kelsie was never like them, not that she wanted to anyway. Kelsie was a quiet one as a young child. She didn’t like to talk, she wasn’t chatty like other kids. She didn’t enjoy playing with other kids either because her mother kept comparing her to them. She didn’t like to eat either. She hated meat and she would chew the meat in her mouth until there was no more taste but yet, she couldn’t swallow. In the end, she would spit the meat out and throw it away. She couldn’t stand eggs or ***cheese*** and she knew her mother always had a headache feeding her. Kelsie thought she gave her mother a hard time considering she was always being scolded. At the age of tweleve, she tried to make it up by helping out with the chores. Her mother need not tell her and Kelsie would do them voluntarily. She would mop the floor the best way she knew how, every morning before she went to school and after school, she would wipe the furniture, and prepare lunch. As much as possible, Kelsie trained herself to be independent, able to take care of herself and hopefully, one that no one needed to worry about. But her mother seemed to be unhappy with her all the time. She didn’t like her choice of clothes or her choice of books. She had hoped that her mother would go easy on her but that did not happen. Kelsie didn’t understand why her mother not want to accept that she was who she was, a quiet girl, not chatty like her cousins or her friends. She was not adorable and cute like them. She thought she was quite the odd one among her friends and her cousins. “Why does mother like comparing me with others? Why does mother hate her?” Kelsie frequently thought to herself and each time, her eyes would well up. She couldn’t understand and she didn’t know how to make her mother happy. She kept trying but nothing seemed to work. She wondered sometimes too if she was her mother’s child. Maybe she was adopted or maybe she was given away because her own mother couldn’t take care of her. Maybe. Kelsie brushed away the thought but it was hard as she tried to make sense of it. Whenever she was sad, her aunt seemed to know. Usually she would play monopoly with her aunty and Kelsie liked rolling the dice. After that, her aunt bought her a ***dice*** soft toy. It cheered her up a little rolling the dice when she went to bed. In school, Kelsie studied as hard as she could and she got good grades most of the time but it seemed never enough. The year she did well, she felt quite proud of herself. When she asked for her mother to sign the report card, her mother signed but she threw the card to the floor. Kelsie was shocked. When her mother walked away without saying a word, Kelsie walked over slowly to pick up her card and went to her room to complete her homework while crying silently. Writing prompts from: https://writingexercises.co.uk/take-three-nouns.php Timer: Mobile phone Time taken: 40 minutes Lead image: https://unsplash.com/photos/Qc0kNcRR61M

@marblely 8 September 2021

Eight months Eight months, two days and ten hours, that was how long it has been. She looked out of her little window to the world outside. The world she has not been able to feel and experience for that long of a time. The air that she has not been able to breathe, the sun ray that she has not been able to allow her skin to kiss and the plants she has not been able to touch with her fingers and flowers that she has not been able to smell at the park nearby where she usually go to, to find ***peace*** and quiet while she painted. It felt like it has been forever, her lying in bed for most parts of the day. When it first started, she thought it was just a stomach discomfort. She had just finished breakfast that day and was preparing to practice her thrice a day ***piano*** playing for her coming exam. It was then when she felt a weird discomfort around her abdominal area. She thought maybe it was food poisoning from the night before. They had packed some food from a nearby stall to try. It tasted pretty good, a street burger with omelet. Something that tasted good can never be truly good, she thought then. The discomfort left as quickly as it came. At first she thought it was nothing. But oddly enough, the discomfort came back after a few hours. Slowly, the discomfort turned to pain, and it became more frequent towards the end of week. Her abdominal area felt bloated all the time. It was as though there was air stuck inside her. One night, the pain became unbearable and she was rushed to the hospital. She went through scans after scans for a few days because the doctors couldn’t figure out what was going on at first until later, they discovered it was a condition of fluid buildup in the area around the organs in the abdomen. She should have gone to the hospital much earlier but it was too late to regret. Throughout the duration from the day she was admitted into the hospital, she could only lie down in bed with bags around her to drain the fluid buildup and to help her pee. She was given drips too as she could not eat. Although she didn’t eat, she became bloated and fat, fat with fluid inside her. It was uncomfortable and it was painful. The only thing she could do was to lie down. Every night, she cried to herself, thinking of the things she missed doing by herself, with her family and with her friends. She thought about the food that she missed eating. Her favourite cheese cake, her favourite ice cream, her favourite fried chicken. She should have eaten them when she thought about them before it all started but who knew this would happen. There was a cushioned chair next to the window, which has been placed there especially for her, hoping that one day she could sit up to enjoy the scenery outside, open the window wide and breathe in the air from outside. But the day didn’t come and seemed further away everyday. Luckily, her bed was near the window. At least she could still have a glimpse of the outside, however little it may be. Her friends gave her an aquarium bowl with two little ***fish***, to accompany her while she laid in bed. As she looked at the fish swimming, she wished one day, she could swim like them too but somehow she felt that the day might not come. Writing prompts from: https://writingexercises.co.uk/take-three-nouns.php Time taken: 40 minutes Timer: Mobile phone

@marblely 4 September 2021

Taking the time to do it right “You are taking too much time to complete this.” I was once told when I was washing dishes. I was brushed away and the job was taken over immediately. Although I was happy to be excused from doing the work, it didn’t feel pleasant to be brushed away. It wasn’t the only time I was told that I was slow. It went on like this as I was growing up. Most of the things I do, I do take a longer time if there was time to spare. It came to a point that I would be left alone to complete the work because it was known. For those who were in a hurry, they usually can’t stand to watch me work. They prefer to rush things through, complete them quickly, regardless of the outcome. I admit that I am slow but I think I am not that slow, maybe half time more? When I wash dishes, I like to sponge every surface with the dish washing liquid, front and back, every corner if there are corners, and I would wash the dishes until there are no traces of oil. It takes a longer time, sure, but at least I know they are clean. One may call this as an obsessive-compulsive behaviour. Maybe. But I much prefer to take the extra time to make sure that things are done right, rather than haphazardly for the sake of having it done. Taking dish washing as an example, if the dishes still feel oily after wash, then what is the point of washing them in the first place? It is possible that I am a little more paranoid about it or that I am more sensitive. But if my fingers still feel traces of oil, I would keep washing until it feels squeaky-clean. When it comes to house chores, when I have the time to spare, I would spare the time to make sure it is properly cleaned and not just cleaning for the sake of cleaning. What is the point of cleaning if it is not going to be clean at the end of it? It is a much greater waste of time. If we choose to do it, then we’d better do it right, isn’t it? If we choose to just simply do it, then, might as well not do it. If I scrub a surface that has turned black or green, I would scrub until I see the original color appears, if it is possible. It is the same with many other things, not just house chores. When I am writing an important email, or when I am editing a document, or when I am working on reports or presentation charts. I would sometimes be told to do a quick one. Just a simple one, nothing too fancy, they would say. But the thing is, when I am tasked to do something, or when I choose to do something, I would prefer to do it right, given the time that I have. I don’t quite comprehend how something can be simply done when it comes to things like these. A simple action of tying shoelace can be done simply too but a simply done action may result in a half baked result. The shoelace may untie after a short while of usage. I would prefer to take the time to tie the shoelace properly and not worry about it coming loose. If indeed I do not have the luxury of time, then, I would do the best possible with the time that I have. I guess I can’t get over my conscience to do a simply kind of job. It doesn’t make sense. Could this be a behaviour of a perfectionist? Maybe but I would prefer to think of it as taking the time to do it right.

@marblely 1 September 2021

Quail eggs are really yummy but they are such a pain to crack and peel. Some shells would come off very easily but some are so hard to peel. It takes a lot of patience to peel them because they are small in size compared to a chicken or duck egg. But they are still delicious and are worth the time and pain.

@marblely 31 August 2021

Finding the calm *One man’s calm may not be another man’s calm but each will have its own.* When I was studying, I worry. I worried about exams, I worried about understanding the syllabus, I worried that I might fail and not be able to graduate. I think it is human nature to worry and it is inevitable that we have a long list of things to worry about. Life, family, love, work, money, house, bills and the list goes on. While we are naturally worry-warts, some of us are capable to overcome the worry while some may not be as good at it. Worry slowly transforms to anxiety and if we do not control it, if we do not keep the worry and anxiety in-check, it can lead to depression which is a place nobody wants to be at. The days when I was studying for exam, I would read for maybe ten minutes at my desk, and I would then walk to the kitchen to find something to munch, bringing my book along. I would munch while reading another ten minutes, and then walk to the living room. I would spend another ten minutes of reading before walking to the balcony to look at my plants in the garden. It was my calm that worked then, to help me not worry too much about exams, but maybe it was a wee bit too relaxed for my family’s liking. In the end, I did all right, not too bad but not that great either. It was enough for me to graduate, which was my priority then. At work, during times of intense datelines, my calm was putting on my earphones and listened to my favourite songs. My favourite songs ranged from movies soundtracks to instrumental to hip hop to rock ballads to romantic ballads depending on what I needed to complete. Sometimes I listened to songs that I would move and sing along, especially when I was crunching numbers and when I needed to prepare reports. It was calming in an odd way that motivated me at the same time. My colleagues didn’t understand how I could have music blasting in my ears and me head banging away while working on a spreadsheet but it worked for me. I couldn’t care less with them staring at me each time they walked pass my workstation. I needed to finish what I needed to and I did it with my way. Before any presentation, my way of calm was to practice, practice and practice what I would be saying. When my mind kept thinking and worry about it, the best way was to practice and to gain confidence. It helped calm my nerves to know what I was going to say in front of an audience. On days when I have a long list of things to do, if it bothered me too much until I couldn’t sleep, I would do some of it first, to get a bit started at least, so that the next day wouldn’t be too packed. If it was an email that needed to be written to address an issue, I would prepare a draft first, type out the points and save it for the next day. Sometimes, when something is not within my control, and I feel shortness of breath, worrying about it, I would look for things to do, to keep my mind distracted, for example cleaning or some needlework or just watch the telly to shut off the mind from the problems that had no solutions as yet. Solutions can sometimes appear in the midst of distraction. When I worry about my job or when I worry about money, I would take some time to think of alternatives, to discuss with the ones I can talk to, to find ideas and to get online to find other means of earning. It helps to bring some sense of assurance that it is not the end of the world if we try to do something about it. I think it is important to find these little ways that can help bring some sanity in times of worry. It is these little methods of finding calm that works for me, depending on the situation, in the different phases of life that helps to keep going and to breathe easier.

@marblely 27 August 2021

When the mind is set When the mind is set, It is pretty much fixed, Nothing can easily change, When the ears don’t listen.   When the words don’t flow, Only stuck, linger and blow, All around and about, But not into the mind at all.   When the mind is set, It takes quite a bit, To convince and to coax, But it may not change the world.   It is without a doubt, That the mountain it takes, Plus the sky and the sea, But still the mind may not budge.   When the mind is set, Only one thing may change, When it is the one it trusts, Not necessarily with facts.   Patience and persistence, It would take a whole lotta, To convince and to coax, Sometimes it works, sometimes not.   When the mind is set, It isn’t rocket science to know, But it takes rocket science to change, A mind that has been set.   Words, numbers and stats, Who takes heed, who cares, The mind won’t easily budge, When the mind is set.     It is hard when the mind is set on something and it would take the world to change it without a guarantee that it will. One can try but if the mind refuses to budge, the ears refuse to listen, there really is nothing much can be done or is there? The mind can only change its mindset if the person chooses to listen. It takes patience and persistence to keep trying, to keep convincing and to keep coaxing, just like when we try to feed a child who refuses to eat. When the child’s mind has been set, it takes a lot of hard work and creativity to feed the child. We would think of trains and flying aeroplanes to bring the food into the child’s mouth. It is similar to when a child has set his or her mind on something such as a toy or their favourite snack, we may tell them no because it is too expensive or it is too late for snack or it is too sweet, we may refuse the child but he or she may cry their lungs out to get what they want. Is this being stubborn? It is hard to say. I know of times when my mind was set on doing something and nothing anybody says can change it. Sometimes, it has something to do with the mood at that moment. If for example, I have set my mind to change the sheets, knowing that I am in the mood, as long as I am physically able to, by hook or by crook, I will change the sheets. Someone may tell me to chill, to rest for the day, change it tomorrow but if I have already set my mind to do it, I will just do it. I will need to do it sooner or later, might as well get it over and done with when I am in the mood. The same goes with if my mind has been set to take the leap such as to bungee jump. It takes a lot to build the courage needed to take that leap and once the mind has been set, it is a now or never moment. Is that being stubborn? How about a situation of liking or disliking someone? If we have set our mind to like or dislike someone, whoever tries to change our mind about that someone will need to try really hard. In our mind, we have set an impression of the person, be it good or bad, whatever it is that the person did will not be able to erase that impression we have unless it is something impactful. It isn’t easy to open our minds when we refuse to open them up but it is possible if we choose to and that is why we hear from the elderly, to always have an open mind and an open heart, and listen to what others have to say.

@marblely 24 August 2021

When my body tells me so I woke up yesterday morning with aches all over my body and I couldn’t really sleep because every turn and movement was achy. It felt weird, as though I had a really tough workout the day before or I have been punched all over or I have been involved in a bad accident. But as far as I could remember, I did nothing of that and I was not involved in a bad accident. I felt groggy somehow. Every muscle movement was hard and I had no choice but to just rest for the day. I couldn’t move much because some sudden movements gave a sharp pain around my neck and head. It felt like fever but not really either. It just felt totally uncool. I slept most part of the day and it was not until I perspired in my nap towards the evening that I felt slightly better. I guess it was fever after all, though when I touched my forehead, it didn’t feel feverish. During the days of the past, when I was younger, I would be able to push myself to continue working, to continue moving, to complete what I needed to even when I was unwell.  I would tell myself that I was fine and most of the time, I could go on until my body told me otherwise. It came a day when I was rushing for a dateline and the boss had asked for a presentation report. The slides were full of numbers, numbers that needed to be cross-checked with several sources, numbers that involved revenue numbers of losses and misses. I had to make sure the numbers were correct but it was just so hard with a heated head. It was after working hours and I had brought work back home because I couldn’t finish it in the office. I reached home and I tried to hang on for as long as I could to check the numbers but after about half hour of finishing up the slides, I just couldn’t go on. I had wanted to recheck them but my body told me no. I was heating up and I used the last bit of energy that I had to do a somewhat best possible check that I could. I managed to message the boss just before I had to lay flat on the couch and close my eyes. The boss called me in between to confirm some numbers but I apologized that I couldn’t help him then because my brain wasn’t functioning the way it was suppose to and I hung up. My body told me that I needed to rest and no matter how hard I had wanted to keep my eyes opened, I couldn’t. I was in and out of sleep throughout the night and the next day. I still remembered the feeling then. I ignored all calls because I had no energy to answer them. Some things cannot be pushed. When it comes to age, I used to think that age is just a number. But as I grew older, I realized the statement is so not true. It may be true when we are in our 20s and possibly 30s but the body starts to tell us otherwise. Nope, you are not getting any younger and age is not just a number when you get older. The days of staying awake past midnight and worked until four in the morning was past me. Days of partying all night and then continue to go to the office at nine in the morning within the next few hours was gone. And I wouldn't want to do all that again anyway. My interests have changed. I used to be able to do cross stitch the whole day, poking the big headed needle through tiny holes, making crosses with different colours of thread and transferring the patterns from paper to the cross stitch Aida cloth. Those tiny shapes of different kinds from a red paper with black marks. There was once just some years back when I could work on a needle project every week and write about it. I could no longer do that. Now, I need to wear spectacles to see, too many years of screen time has taken its toll on my eyes. It is hard to continue to be in denial when the body tells me so. I used to be able to go trekking and mountain climbing but now, I no longer feel like doing it because my body tells me so. My knee complains if I wear the wrong pair of shoes or move the wrong way. They no longer enjoy being pressured and because of that I prefer a quiet time at home, in front of the telly or in front of my laptop typing. Things have changed over the years. The body is no longer as tough as it used to and I need to listen to what my body tells me. I accept that my body no longer function and perform the way that it did twenty years ago.

@marblely 22 August 2021

The little joys that we get in baking. I had fun popping these scones out from the lightly kneaded and pressed dough using a glass. The fun part was when the glass was pressed down until it cuts the dough, there would be a popping sound to indicate that it had been cut. "Pop" and the flour around the glass would poof into the air. And then, there was more joy seeing the dough rise after baking :)

@marblely 20 August 2021

I felt like scones I got up early the other day and wondered what I should do. I didn’t want to be mopping and as I sat there thinking for a bit, I decided to make some scones. It was a recipe I tried a few times before but I have not made them for more than a year. I remembered the first time I tried scones. I was in Australia, visiting an ex-colleague. He had invited me to his home and while we were chatting, his daughter came into the dining room to inform that she was going to bake some scones for tea. I have seen scones sold in cafes and bakeries but at that time, I had only tried them once before but I didn’t have much of a good memory of its taste as it was hard and bland. When the daughter announced that she was baking them, I had my reservations. But then I thought, they have scones for tea everyday, it shouldn't be that bad. My ex-colleague asked if I would like to join her daughter in the baking process and I was happy to as I was curious. I went into the kitchen, and she had already mixed the flour and stuffs. She was in the process of sort of kneading but not really kneading. Then, she went on to pop them out from the dough using a cup and placed them on the baking tray. An interesting process I thought. While the scones were baking, an amazing buttery and fragrant aroma filled the home and I was excited to try. Within a few minutes, the scones were freshly baked and served with clotted cream and jam. They made their own clotted cream too. My goodness, they tasted divine! The scones were buttery, soft and warm. The pairing with clotted cream and jam completed the taste of divinity of different texture. Ever since then, I loved scones, but only the buttery and soft ones.  After the trip, I did try making scones but they turned out to be hard as rock. Not buttery, not soft and not flaky. Just hard. But about two years back, I braved myself to try again. I searched for a possible recipe and found one that looked doable. It turned out well and I decided to try it again. I searched for the particular recipe online using some key words that I sort of remembered from before and found it. I scrolled through to see if I had the ingredients. Flour, check, butter, check, baking powder, check, salt, check, sugar, check. Darn, I was missing milk. But I remembered I had some soy milk, which I had tried once with this recipe, and it turned out pretty alright. I took out the ingredients from my pantry and fridge, placed them on the kitchen table, took out a stainless steel bowl and started measuring them out. First part of the recipe was to measure out two cups of flour, four teaspoon of baking powder, half teaspoon of salt and a quarter cup of sugar. It said to pulse in a food processor but I was too lazy to take out the food processor. I just mixed them in the bowl with a fork. Next, was to add the butter into the dry mix of flour, baking powder, salt and sugar, and mix them up until they look like breadcrumbs. This was quite fun to do, squishing the butter into the floor until they become flaky. For the next step, I beat one egg with two thirds cup of milk, saving two tablespoons of it for egg wash later, while adding the rest of the mix into the flaky buttery flour mix. I combined them together until they form a rough dough and then knead it a little. I read in many places that the dough should not be over kneaded, else the scones will be hard to eat, ah that was why my earlier scones were hard. I pressed the dough down lightly to about one centimeters of height, just enough to form the scones and took my smallest cup to do the favourite part of the scones making process which was to pop them out one by one. The recipe asked to roll into an inch height but I wanted to make more scones as opposed to taller scones. I managed to pop out about 10 pieces of scones to be baked and placed them onto a baking paper lined tray before popping them into the preheated oven. As I popped them out from the cup, I could feel the lightness of the dough which was a good sign. While they were baking, the aroma was so buttery-ly amazing as we waited excitedly for the scones to rise. At first, there was no aroma and I thought I might have done something wrong. But after halfway through baking, the aroma began to fill the room. It smelled like scones which meant partial success. After about fifteen minutes, they were done! They didn’t rise as tall as the recipe but the most important thing was the taste. Then, it was time to taste. We didn’t have clotted cream and thought adding butter would be just as good and it was, with jam, imagine the combination. Silky, slightly salty butter, with the sweetness and fruity taste of the jam hitting the palette. The outside was slightly crisp while the inside soft and flaky. I was happy that I felt like scones because they were absolutely yummers as breakfast and it made my day that day.

+2 more

@marblely 17 August 2021

Nothing is truly free “Look ma! There is a buy 1 free 1 promo!” A teenage girl exclaimed excitedly to her mother while pointing to the display card. Two packets of Hershey’s chocolate chips for the price of one.  Looked like a good deal, maybe a little too good to be true. “Calm down young lady. Check the expiration date first” the mother reminded her daughter. True enough, the expiration date was due soon, in two month’s time. “But ma, we can finish way before that!” the girl said happily. That would mean twice the chocolate content into the body within the same period of time. Would that be a good free purchase? When we think about it, there are many things that we come across in our potential purchases, in our daily life that is said to be free. But are they truly free or if they are truly free, are they good for us? If they sound too good to be true, most times they are. In cases when there is a buy 1, free 1 offer, in most cases, but not always, it would be because that the items are due for expiration, or another possibility is that there is too much in stock that they needed to clear or maybe the items have slight manufacturing defect or rejected items that can still be used. I am a skeptic when it comes to free stuffs but I am also a sucker too to believe them unknowingly until it was too late. I do not deny though, there are rare genuine ones who would give out free stuffs because they want to reward their clients such as the family restaurant that we dine-in often. There are cases whereby a shop that has just opened its doors or just renovated, as part of their marketing cost, they would include free gifts to increase their market share, to entice customers to come or it could also be part of their loyalty program cost to keep old customers. Sometimes, well, more often nowadays, we receive emails or a text message that says “Congratulations! Here is a free gift for you. Click here to claim your gift!”. Emails such as these should spell danger for all of us. It is a click bait, it is phishing and if we get too excited and click the link given, the moment we click, we would open our doors wide for thieves who are out there to take advantage of our online personal data and belongings for their personal gain. By the time we realize it, it would have been too late. In this case, free comes with a huge price. In cases when free gifts are given with a purchase, the question I always forget to ask myself is do I need this item? Is it worth the money I spend? Many times, I was fooled by the notion of purchase above a certain amount to receive a free gift but sellers are smart. They would price their items just so that we will need to add something much more to achieve the amount. I can’t count the number of times I went into a shop, with a mind set to just to purchase one item that I needed. Just one. But the moment I was in the shop, and when I was given the option of being eligible to get free gifts for purchases above a certain amount, I ended up buying much more than I need. When I return home with my purchases, I would realize that I did not need the additional items purchased, and I did not need the free items either. I have been fooled. Sucker. Then there was the number of times I was enticed by lucky draws. “Lucky draw with every purchase!” or “No purchase needed, just participate in the lucky draw and pay a dollar plus shipping during checkout.” My brain would compute wrongly, thinking what a waste it would be to pay a dollar plus shipping without any purchase and I would end up buying stuffs from that shop that I didn’t need just so I could get the free gift. Sometimes, I just joined for fun thinking I wouldn't be so lucky but if I did, I would buy more just to get the lucky draw prize. Sucker. Free shipping, free gifts with purchase, are not really free because the seller would have included the cost of them into their selling price for the items they sell. Free shipping usually comes with a minimum purchase order and if the seller marked up their price by hundred percent for each item, they can definitely afford to give a free shipping. When it comes to free gifts, do we really need another food container or another fork or spoon? Or how many face towels do we need? If someone comes to us, offering a free gift of a packet of tissue or box of cookies, with a condition that we provide our contact details such as email or phone number, we would have just "sold" our contact details for a mere packet of tissue. The smarter ones would give a wrong number or email. I think it is human nature to be enticed and excited by the word “free” and especially so when it is coupled with the word “gift” or "prize". But there is always a catch. Nothing is truly free. It is usually a psychology-marketing tactic used by businesses or people with a hidden cost or a hidden agenda. If there is an indication that we have won something or that we can get a free gift with a condition, we need to think twice, thrice before we do anything that would get us into trouble or trick us to spend more, and that is me telling myself time and time again :D.

@marblely 15 August 2021

Start anew The bus was arriving at her stop and she pressed the bell. The bus stopped by the road side and she got down. As she stepped on the curb, she looked up to the sky. Sunny blue sky with cottony puffy clouds. A good sign, she thought to herself. She took a deep breath and walked slowly towards the white building across the street, a majestically looking white building with a rather odd architectural shape that she couldn’t truly describe. It was as though the building was an artistic experiment that didn’t quite work. She couldn’t help but stare at the building while thinking. A year and a half ago, she lost her job. Her team was disbanded; funding was removed and each team member was let go except her. She didn’t understand why she was the last one standing but she was and it was very demoralizing for her to see everyone leave. She had farewell lunches and dinners for everyone but when it was her turn, there was no one left to have a farewell lunch or dinner with. The management didn’t know what to do with her but at the same time, they couldn’t let her go without a reason. It was frustrating to feel unwanted in the company but she couldn’t find another job to go to. Then it came the day when human resources sent her an email for a meeting. It was a meeting to notify that the company no longer needed her. They went through the formalities of going through some legal document. It wasn’t her fault but it was a restructuring exercise it said. She didn’t really care about the contents. She had heard about the legal document for far too many times that she had become numb. Inside, she was happy that she was finally released but there was fear too of the unknown future. There wasn’t much she could do at that point except to accept it and move on. Her last day was a month after. At least she still had one last month of pay. When it was time to return her keys and laptop, she handed them over and left the company. No looking back, no regrets. Freedom was more like it but for how long could she sustain without a job? She tried looking around for a new job but it was hard. She applied online in various job seeking platforms but to no luck. She guessed that employers prefer fresh graduates but she wasn’t sure. She sent her resume out to headhunters, recruitment agencies and to everyone she knew. Finally, three months ago, she was given the opportunity for an interview. She sent her resume to someone she knew in the company and the rest was history. She didn’t have much of a ***skill*** but she thought she had a little something that could sell and sold she did. They seemed to like her for some reason and after three rounds of interview with three different levels of managers, they finally decided to hire her. She was grateful. It was her first day of work. She got up early to prepare for her journey, a new career chapter in her life. Oats, fruits and coffee for breakfast and after a good shower, she was ready. She put on her most comfortable pair of work ***shoes***, her ankle high platform boots. Nothing too fancy, nothing that would hurt her feet too much and it was still modestly stylish, nicely paired with her work pants and a light blue shirt. It was quite a journey to the workplace and she wanted to make sure she wore comfortably. The journey took about an hour by bus from her place to the ***city***. She didn’t want to drive because the traffic would be bad. It would be a waste of energy, time and money. Looking out the window, she was glad she didn’t drive. She enjoyed the scenic view sitting as a passenger, which she would have missed if she had driven her car. Once she reached the lobby of the white building, she took another deep breath and walked in. Her new job was waiting for her and she was ready. Writing prompts from: https://writingexercises.co.uk/take-three-nouns.php Time taken: 45 minutes with mobile timer.

@marblely 12 August 2021

To believe and to trust again A stranger approached two friends who were standing at the bus stop near their workplace waiting for their transport to arrive. The stranger, a young adult casually dressed in a simple T-shirt and jeans was carrying a knapsack and looked fairly innocent. He spoke gently, asking if we could lend him some money, as he needed it to pay for his transport. One of them looked at the stranger doubtfully and said he didn’t have any to lend while the other friend, took out a ten-dollar note and passed it to him without any hesitation. The young chap was clearly grateful and thankful. He asked for her name and contact so that he could return her money but she just pointed to a building to tell him if needed to look for her to return the money, just go over to her workplace. He said thanks before leaving them be. The friend who refused to lend the stranger money asked the one who gave, what if he was lying, how could she have believed the stranger without any hesitation? The one who lent the stranger money, asked her friend back, what if he wasn’t? What if he truly needed help to go get home? If he truly needed help, then she would have helped someone. And so what if he was lying, he may have his reasons. She continued to ask him; if we have been lied to before, if we have been betrayed before, does it mean we stop believing others and that we stop trusting others? She went on to say that to believe is a choice and it is also an ability, she was glad that she still had the ability to believe despite having experienced some form of deceit throughout her life. A few days after, the young stranger went looking for her at the workplace building that she had earlier showed him, to return the money he borrowed. He didn’t get to meet her but he managed to pass the money back to the friend who hesitated to lend him money. It got the friend thinking and it certainly got me thinking too. Many of us may have been lied to at least once before or been deceived by someone or been cheated on or may have been betrayed at some point in our life. I know I have. I also know how hard it can be to start believing and trusting again. I think of it as once bitten, twice shy situation. I became weary and now especially so with news of scammers and those who are out to take advantage of any situation to cheat them of their money and love in some cases. How do we recover from that, if we have been bitten once before? It isn’t easy. It may be easier if it was a stranger. But if it involves someone we know, and if involves the same individual, it is hard. It is especially hard if it involves someone we were close to, someone whom we trusted and believed completely. My ex-superior had once promised me a change of job, a job that fitted my interest and capability. She spoke to me with much hope and promise that I believed her because I trusted her. But in the end, she gave it away to someone else. I felt betrayed. I could certainly understand if she found that I was not suitable for the job but that wasn’t what she explained to me when she asked if I had wanted to try the role. When I agreed, her promise was real. I felt betrayed because I trusted her and she gave me her word. If I wasn’t suitable for the job, she should have been honest with me and she should have told me in the first place. If she had found someone else more suitable, she should have let me know transparently during the process of giving the job to another person, which she didn’t. It took me a long while to move on from this experience, to trust my ex superior again. In fact, I could no longer trust or believe her entirely, perhaps just a certain percentage. How do we pick ourselves up to believe and to trust the same person again? It is hard when we have been hurt or hit hard, although sometimes, it is necessary to forgive. The forget part, may take a longer time or maybe never.

@marblely 9 August 2021

It takes time Many things in life take time. When I watched the recent Tokyo Olympics, I can only imagine the amount of time taken for each athlete to be where they are today. No doubt, the time taken has to be coupled with a whole lot of other things such as dedication, patience, endurance, discipline and motivation. Everyday they practiced, to be good at what they do. Then, I was reminded of the book “The Outliers: The Story of Success” where the author Malcolm Gladwell repeatedly mentioned the 10,000 hour rule of practice to be good at something. It takes time to boil a delicious pot of soup. From the moment we think about it, visualize its taste, imagining the steps, the time starts. When we start to choose our ingredients, taking the time to select the freshest or whatever that is available in our fridge, the time moves. When we cut, slice, chop our ingredients and start cooking them, stage by stage, layer by layer to build amazing flavours, we leave it for some time to boil. It takes time to bake a good loaf of bread. The time taken to knead the dough, and leaving the dough to proof; and then coming back to it, to continue kneading and proofing for a few rounds to achieve the softest and fluffiest result. There may be shortcuts available. Some shortcuts may work, while some works but does not produce the same result. Take for example, baking bread, such as a no knead version, the result may not be the same, it may not be as fluffy and soft. If we listen to the stories of restaurant owners with age-old recipes, passed down from their grandparents to their parents and then to them, how they spent hours and hours building the flavours, perfecting the recipes. Although technology is available, the older generation continued to do it by hand because their food tastes better. The younger ones would bring in and add technology with machineries to increase production but they would first need to make sure the quality is not affected. It takes time to perfect it for sure. It takes time to learn and to be good at something. This added with passion, practice, dedication and patience. It takes interest to first to want to do something about it, for example learning to play a guitar. It takes time to research about the type of guitar to get, the songs to learn and to make the money to be able to get a guitar. Then, it takes time to learn, to try, to practice, to season the fingers and to harden the tip of the fingers, for them to withstand longer hours of playing the guitar. It takes time to write a good article. If it is a technical article, it takes time to research, to gather relevant information from reliable sources. It takes time to think about the points to write, to organize the thoughts, to find the right words and to write them down. It then takes more time to review what has been written, to edit, to amend and to polish the article a little bit more before publishing. It takes time to build our portfolio. If it is our portfolio as a professional, it takes time to collect the experiences needed and to add on to our resume. For example, a fashion designer or a pilot, it takes time to collect the hours needed, to expand the portfolio, to gain trust from clients and employers. With practice, the time taken can be fine tuned and possibly shortened to achieve the goal. In some cases, the extra time gained is then used to practice more, to get better at it and to improve ourselves to write better, to cook better, to play better. It takes time and a whole lot of other things to be good at something.